Inhale, Exhale

It's been a week, that's for sure.
I guess it's been a month really.
I don't know how much someones brain has to over work itself before it just shuts down completely. I think mine's on the brink.
I am blessed though...stressed, but blessed.
Is that ok? Can you be stressed out and aware of how good God is to you at the same time?

I wish we as humans didn't give up on God as easily as we do.
I wish we didn't associate not feeling good with God not being good. Our point of view and who God is are two different things. God doesn't change regardless of how we're feeling, whether we're being tested or whether we haven't a care in the world.
God's good. We change. He doesn't.
When things aren't good between God and I it's because I'm too lazy to read my bible, I'm too occupied to pray. I walk away from Him, living my life and then I get angry, stressed and sad, wondering why He left me. It's lame really.
That's going to be my new prayer.
"God, forgive me for being Lame. Remind me when I am being lame to knock it off and do my part to make our relationship work."
Because in all honesty, if God and I aren't right, nothing's right.

I'm also going to look back over my strongest spiritual moments and try to think of what I was doing then as opposed to what I'm doing now. Chances are I was taking time out daily to be in God's presence...which now is hard cause I barely have enough time to be alone in my own presence but I need to make time for Him.
Nothing can be more important than that.
If anyone was at church today, I guess you can tell that Phil's message kicked my butt in a good way.

We have no money, Jay is overworked and over stressed, Caden is at a challenging age, and although I love being with him, I am often times lonely, bored and unfulfilled spending all day at home without an adult to talk to...all reasons why I have been neglectful of God and unfocused on my blessings.
But it's time for an attitude adjustment, because I refuse to give up on God's best for me because I am so self-focused on what I don't have.
I have a loving marriage, a home, a beautiful son, more close friends than I can count, and above all else the peace and joy (in the midst of chaos and mixed emotions) that comes with knowing Christ.
It's time that I start exercising my freedom in Christ instead of thinking of all the reasons why I shouldn't because there's got to be more than this.

I'm not a big fan of the movie, "Bruce Almighty" but it was on TV the other day and I caught the part where Jim Carey's character is given God's powers and he tries to use them to make a woman fall in love with him and although he has immeasurable power he can't manipulate her free will. He asks God (Morgan Freeman) "How do I make somebody love me?"
'God' replies with something along the lines of, "If only I knew the answer to that."

God has given us the freewill to make our own decisions, even about Him.
As mature Christians we need to exercise our freewill by getting to know and falling in love with Jesus.
It doesn't have to be as hard as we make it out to be. Just do your part to get to know Him, then you won't be able to help but love Him. It doesn't mean your bank account will fill up, your job will get better, your ex will come back and your life will be perfect, but at least you'll have someone to talk to about how much life stinks sometimes. And who better than the creator of the universe?

I want to have a relationship with Christ so I need to grow up and make an effort...whether I've spent all day on the beach with my husband or all day at the urgent care getting puked on by my Son.

Inhale, Exhale.