I realize that I havn't actually written in my blog in quite some time, with the exception of some photos. I've actually been pretty busy, funny as that may sound because since September 9th I have been unemployed. I love having a social life again. It's been a long time since I lived in a city filled with close friends. My baby is going to be so lucky to have so many awesome aunts, uncles and babysitters!
Jason is enjoying and excelling at his new job. He feels like it's the first time he's actually worked in 1.5 years since he left the same job to persue various other occupations. It's always frustrating to work out of your gift set, but now that he is back on the horse, he is excited and doing a heck of a job! I'm SO proud of him. He's been a great witness in the work place and truly knows and believes that God has great purpose and mission for him to shine the light of Christ at his work place. He's like an undercover Jesus Freak diguised as an Assistant Manager at Superior Fitness. I love it and I love him!
I've been taking some much needed Kathy and baby time. I'm more tired now than I was in the first trimester. I don't know where this whole, "You'll get a burst of energy in the second trimester!" thing comes from because I am consistantly exhausted. I've been unpacking, organizing, doing some much needed catching up with old friends, praying and reading. For the first three days of my unemployment I watched re-runs of the sitcom 'Ellen' but I really havn't watched any T.V. since then. I prayed really hard that God would allow a way for me to work if he wanted me to, but every door was shut and so I have to trust that God wants me to spend this time focusing on him and preparing myself for my future. I feel guilty from time to time that I can't really contribute in a monitary way to our family, but Jason makes me feel amazing even after a fun filled day of laundry and sleeping. I'm glad that I get to take this time to take care of myself. I hear too many women speak of their pregnancies or parenthood as being an act of martyrdom which I can't stand. I am blessed to have this baby, chosen by God to bear children when so many can't and I never want to look at it as a chore or an obligation. It is my privelege to commit my life to my unborn baby.
I have chosen to be a stay-at-home-parent. Some may see this as being easy or some feminist power people may see it as selling out however I forsee this job as being quite difficult, very draining both physically and mentally. This is a job that you can't quit or take vacation from and it's something that you can't fully prepare for. It's like taking a job that is completely foreign to you and knowing that you have this position for the rest of your life, 24 hours a day. If this was any other position I would say, "Heck no! The risk is too high, I want something easier!" But the thought of raising a human being that is made up of two people who love eachother more than life is more exciting than scary. I am SO excited to meet this little person. YAY!
In the meantime, pray for my little cat Sampson...I'm not kidding....i've been told that whatever is important to me is important to God and Sampson's little bowel system has been hard on him lately. I won't ellaborate but pray for his little bummy. Poor baby. He's my first born son.
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
I need some prayer. Here is the house that I grew up in. My parents moved out of this house in June and have been trying to sell it ever since. This is a great house and selling it would ellviate alot of stress from my family. I am asking that anyone who reads this whispers a prayer for a miraculous selling of house # 24 Main Road, Green's Harbour, NL. Thanks. I'll post the praise report in the next couple of days!
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
Misunderstood
Hey Ya'll.....I love Southern Slang
I'm writing this blog in particular to clear up any misconceptions from my last entry.
Donnie - Thank you so much for your encouragement and your comment. We love you guys too and can't wait to see you in NC! I did however want to clear up some things that I may have said poorly but it's important to me that i be completely understood.
I really do believe that I made a mistake when I became a Salvationist, not because of what it means to be one, but because I became one for the wrong reasons. I agree with you that God's calling is never a mistake and I encourage those soldiers who are called to be so, but I feel as though my motivation came from feeling a 'pressure' to officership more so than a 'calling.' Noones mistake but my own and that's why I feel as though I made a mistake at the time.
I did write this particular entry at a time when ventilation was much needed so I inserted some jestful remarks that I didn't mean to be taken seriously. I know that the soldiers covenant does not say 'give alot of money to the Army.' That was my funny way of highlighting the area that says, 'give as much as you are able' and you are totally right, for alot of our people that may not be very much and I in no way shape or form am disagreeing with tithing...quite the opposite. I was also trying to be light hearted with my, 'don't drink alcohol ever' comment but what I was trying to say is that I agree with these practices in any church. I completely agree with you that alcohol can damage someones Christian witness and coming from a background where alcohol came close to destroying my home, I would never encourage drinking as an acceptable practice. I brought these things up to say that what is written on the articles of war does not bother me, in fact I agree with the things that most people disagree with or try to manipulate. It's important that you know that I was not fighting on behalf of those things but instead explaining that I believe in them too. In fact, I believe in the Articles of War which I signed and will remain true to my covenant. My commitment to my holiness covenant is not what I am disturbed with but rather many convictions that I have about certain teachings in the church. I have heard MANY people make the argument that we do not partake in certain acts of scripture because William Booth didn't want Salvation to be misunderstand or because William Booth didn't want people to turn back to their wicked ways and that's what I was refering to when I said, 'I've heard people put more emphasis on William Booth's words...' I guess I was being kind of a smart-alec (is that spelled right?) and I apologize, i was more meaning to be sarcastic than mean and I apologize if I hurt anyones feelings. And you're right, I should use the sniper-gun on that one because not all people think like that. It's important that you know that I was not attacking officers with any of these comments. I've been under poor leadership and I've been under great leadership and I know that 'people' are one thing and 'The Salvation Army' is another. In fact my current officers are WONDERFUL and have been a blessing and encouragement as I transition. I think I combined my beefs with both people and the organization in the last entry but I give props to officers who are in there rolling up their sleeves to make the Army, God's Army just like you guys.
Overall however, through MUCH prayer and study, i've come to many conclusions and I believe I am being called out of The Salvation Army, at least as a Soldier because although a soldier is a representation of Christ's work on the inside it is also a testimony that one is commited to the Army and it's beliefs and I am not anymore.
I love the Army, I love what it is doing in the face of disaster especially as of late. I love that it reaches out to people from all places and all walks of life and I have been an adherent in the Army my entire life. I have based many decisions in the past on 'people.' Either being mad at them or frustrated with them or even inspired by them but I promise you this is not one of those times. I have been strongly convicted by the Holy Spirit to return to biblical teaching and it alone as my source of living and as my guideline for holiness. I have many mentors but I would never place anyones opinion or impact on me above the leading and the divinity of Christ Jesus.
I hope this clears up some misconceptions. I was in a bit of typing-rage when I wrote the last entry which is why I feel as though my true feelings and beliefs were not portrayed as accurately as I would have liked. I hope this makes more sense.
Donnie, once again I can't wait to see you guys and thank you for reaching out and showing your concern and sharing with me your knowledge. You and Laura are great officers and wonderful people. Although I feel that the Army is not right for me and my family, I am inspired by people like you who 'get it.' You guys are awesome and The Army is better because of you both.
I'm writing this blog in particular to clear up any misconceptions from my last entry.
Donnie - Thank you so much for your encouragement and your comment. We love you guys too and can't wait to see you in NC! I did however want to clear up some things that I may have said poorly but it's important to me that i be completely understood.
I really do believe that I made a mistake when I became a Salvationist, not because of what it means to be one, but because I became one for the wrong reasons. I agree with you that God's calling is never a mistake and I encourage those soldiers who are called to be so, but I feel as though my motivation came from feeling a 'pressure' to officership more so than a 'calling.' Noones mistake but my own and that's why I feel as though I made a mistake at the time.
I did write this particular entry at a time when ventilation was much needed so I inserted some jestful remarks that I didn't mean to be taken seriously. I know that the soldiers covenant does not say 'give alot of money to the Army.' That was my funny way of highlighting the area that says, 'give as much as you are able' and you are totally right, for alot of our people that may not be very much and I in no way shape or form am disagreeing with tithing...quite the opposite. I was also trying to be light hearted with my, 'don't drink alcohol ever' comment but what I was trying to say is that I agree with these practices in any church. I completely agree with you that alcohol can damage someones Christian witness and coming from a background where alcohol came close to destroying my home, I would never encourage drinking as an acceptable practice. I brought these things up to say that what is written on the articles of war does not bother me, in fact I agree with the things that most people disagree with or try to manipulate. It's important that you know that I was not fighting on behalf of those things but instead explaining that I believe in them too. In fact, I believe in the Articles of War which I signed and will remain true to my covenant. My commitment to my holiness covenant is not what I am disturbed with but rather many convictions that I have about certain teachings in the church. I have heard MANY people make the argument that we do not partake in certain acts of scripture because William Booth didn't want Salvation to be misunderstand or because William Booth didn't want people to turn back to their wicked ways and that's what I was refering to when I said, 'I've heard people put more emphasis on William Booth's words...' I guess I was being kind of a smart-alec (is that spelled right?) and I apologize, i was more meaning to be sarcastic than mean and I apologize if I hurt anyones feelings. And you're right, I should use the sniper-gun on that one because not all people think like that. It's important that you know that I was not attacking officers with any of these comments. I've been under poor leadership and I've been under great leadership and I know that 'people' are one thing and 'The Salvation Army' is another. In fact my current officers are WONDERFUL and have been a blessing and encouragement as I transition. I think I combined my beefs with both people and the organization in the last entry but I give props to officers who are in there rolling up their sleeves to make the Army, God's Army just like you guys.
Overall however, through MUCH prayer and study, i've come to many conclusions and I believe I am being called out of The Salvation Army, at least as a Soldier because although a soldier is a representation of Christ's work on the inside it is also a testimony that one is commited to the Army and it's beliefs and I am not anymore.
I love the Army, I love what it is doing in the face of disaster especially as of late. I love that it reaches out to people from all places and all walks of life and I have been an adherent in the Army my entire life. I have based many decisions in the past on 'people.' Either being mad at them or frustrated with them or even inspired by them but I promise you this is not one of those times. I have been strongly convicted by the Holy Spirit to return to biblical teaching and it alone as my source of living and as my guideline for holiness. I have many mentors but I would never place anyones opinion or impact on me above the leading and the divinity of Christ Jesus.
I hope this clears up some misconceptions. I was in a bit of typing-rage when I wrote the last entry which is why I feel as though my true feelings and beliefs were not portrayed as accurately as I would have liked. I hope this makes more sense.
Donnie, once again I can't wait to see you guys and thank you for reaching out and showing your concern and sharing with me your knowledge. You and Laura are great officers and wonderful people. Although I feel that the Army is not right for me and my family, I am inspired by people like you who 'get it.' You guys are awesome and The Army is better because of you both.
Monday, September 05, 2005
Thursday, September 01, 2005
Movin in more ways than one
Yo! Well, by now those of you who read regularly probably already know that Jason and I are moving Charlotte, NC. We're excited. This move will allow us the ability to raise our child with a stay at home parent (AKA: me) and still be able to feed it and ourselves. This move is really great and is happening for all of the right reasons. God truly brought us to Tallahassee for many great reasons. We've met and formed relationships with some amazing people in two uniquely gifted churches. We've been able to experience positive and negative things and both types have helped us to discover what we really believe and has helped us to focus on the most important thing. God's word.
I think I made a mistake when I became a Soldier in The Salvation Army. I did so a year ago, after spending my entire life as an adherent and it was at a time when I felt the heavy burden of guilt to become an Officer. Gosh I've learned so much about God's will since then...and I still have my whole life to crack that surface even more.
The holiness covenant I signed is not really the problem. I agree that soldiers, adherents, Baptists, Penticostals, non-denominationists, ETC. should abide by such a thing in their everyday life. It's called holiness. Now the covenant in the Army has some specific 'Army' parts like don't drink alcohol ever and give alot of money to The Army but these commands are also great ways to live for any Christian who wants to uphold a good reputation and support their church so all in all, the wording on the paper is not the problem. I believe that a life of holiness is always a struggle because we're sinners born into a sinful world which is why there is NO ONE in this world who has adhered to their Soldiers covenant without fail their entire lives. The Old Testament is filled with covenants and God's wrath when his people disobeyed those covenants and since God hasn't changed I believe it's important to live up to what I signed, even though I choose not to wear my uniform anymore and will most likely choose not to attend a Salvation Army church in the future. The New Testament is filled with Jesus teachings of love, mercy and forgiveness. Jesus himself said 'Do not swear by anything....let your yes be your yes and your no be your no.'
Ok, so the Soldiership debate could go on forever but here is my disturbance. I have discovered that in many Salvtion Army environments, it is more important that I wear my uniform than it is that I disciple effectively, serve helpfully, love inclusively, or even tithe for that matter. That is really scary. That my soldiership (not what i signed but the traditions that I take part in) has become more important than my heart. CREEPY! Danger Zone. This has forced me to clear my mind and to refocus my Christianity. God has lead me back to his word and his word alone. Alot of time I have been acting on God's word and have been ridiculed or made to feel sinful because of how strongly regemented the Army is. I've been in situations where the topics of Jesus teachings and practices were brought up and some of those we choose not to participate in within The Salvation Army and tht only reason that anyone can give is because 'William Booth didn't think it would be a good idea.' EEEK! William Booth was a great man but his word holds more value with some people than the words of Jesus himself! This also creeped my out.
Basically with the baby coming I am forced to make some big decisions. What church do I want my child to be raised in? Through God's word and the counsel of many learned friends, I have determined that I must find a church with balance that focuses SOULY on God's word. I want my child to grow up with a love and desire to mimic the Life of Christ in an enviornment that can usher them at every stage of their growth. I want him/her to love church and for it to be a newcomer friendly enviornment where my child can invite their friends and those people can feel warmly accpeted, welcomed and comfortable. I am excited to see where Christ leads us.
Saying all this, I am so thankful to the Salvation Army, especially to the Corps Officers here in Tallahassee who have to the best of their ability aided us through this transition that was so greatly needed. Tallahassee served as a place for Jason and I to live int he same country together. Things were looking bleek for a while but God opened this door. Tallahasee has served as a place for us to find our true selves and a place for God to water us and challenge us and strengthen us. When we drive away from Tallahassee, it will be with heavy hearts. We've really loved it here.
Johnny, I am so excited to come to Charlotte and to see what miraculous movements are taking place at Charlotte Temple because of your God motivated leadership and your drive to please God and show who he really is in the face of traditionlists and adversities. You are a brave man to tackle this huge monster and you are winning through God's strength. I can't wait to see it! I can't wait to see you and everyone in NC! WAHOO!
I think I made a mistake when I became a Soldier in The Salvation Army. I did so a year ago, after spending my entire life as an adherent and it was at a time when I felt the heavy burden of guilt to become an Officer. Gosh I've learned so much about God's will since then...and I still have my whole life to crack that surface even more.
The holiness covenant I signed is not really the problem. I agree that soldiers, adherents, Baptists, Penticostals, non-denominationists, ETC. should abide by such a thing in their everyday life. It's called holiness. Now the covenant in the Army has some specific 'Army' parts like don't drink alcohol ever and give alot of money to The Army but these commands are also great ways to live for any Christian who wants to uphold a good reputation and support their church so all in all, the wording on the paper is not the problem. I believe that a life of holiness is always a struggle because we're sinners born into a sinful world which is why there is NO ONE in this world who has adhered to their Soldiers covenant without fail their entire lives. The Old Testament is filled with covenants and God's wrath when his people disobeyed those covenants and since God hasn't changed I believe it's important to live up to what I signed, even though I choose not to wear my uniform anymore and will most likely choose not to attend a Salvation Army church in the future. The New Testament is filled with Jesus teachings of love, mercy and forgiveness. Jesus himself said 'Do not swear by anything....let your yes be your yes and your no be your no.'
Ok, so the Soldiership debate could go on forever but here is my disturbance. I have discovered that in many Salvtion Army environments, it is more important that I wear my uniform than it is that I disciple effectively, serve helpfully, love inclusively, or even tithe for that matter. That is really scary. That my soldiership (not what i signed but the traditions that I take part in) has become more important than my heart. CREEPY! Danger Zone. This has forced me to clear my mind and to refocus my Christianity. God has lead me back to his word and his word alone. Alot of time I have been acting on God's word and have been ridiculed or made to feel sinful because of how strongly regemented the Army is. I've been in situations where the topics of Jesus teachings and practices were brought up and some of those we choose not to participate in within The Salvation Army and tht only reason that anyone can give is because 'William Booth didn't think it would be a good idea.' EEEK! William Booth was a great man but his word holds more value with some people than the words of Jesus himself! This also creeped my out.
Basically with the baby coming I am forced to make some big decisions. What church do I want my child to be raised in? Through God's word and the counsel of many learned friends, I have determined that I must find a church with balance that focuses SOULY on God's word. I want my child to grow up with a love and desire to mimic the Life of Christ in an enviornment that can usher them at every stage of their growth. I want him/her to love church and for it to be a newcomer friendly enviornment where my child can invite their friends and those people can feel warmly accpeted, welcomed and comfortable. I am excited to see where Christ leads us.
Saying all this, I am so thankful to the Salvation Army, especially to the Corps Officers here in Tallahassee who have to the best of their ability aided us through this transition that was so greatly needed. Tallahassee served as a place for Jason and I to live int he same country together. Things were looking bleek for a while but God opened this door. Tallahasee has served as a place for us to find our true selves and a place for God to water us and challenge us and strengthen us. When we drive away from Tallahassee, it will be with heavy hearts. We've really loved it here.
Johnny, I am so excited to come to Charlotte and to see what miraculous movements are taking place at Charlotte Temple because of your God motivated leadership and your drive to please God and show who he really is in the face of traditionlists and adversities. You are a brave man to tackle this huge monster and you are winning through God's strength. I can't wait to see it! I can't wait to see you and everyone in NC! WAHOO!
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