2009

Resolutions:
- Loose weight, get fit
- Read more, particularly the bible
- Be a better wife, mother, friend and all around person
- Write, finish and actively submit a book for publishing
- Spend more time in prayer

Hopes:
- That the house sells sooner than later
- That we will have a healthier year
- That I will get to see my family regularly
- That I will be able to be with Caden more
- That my friends and family will be blessed abundantly
- That I will look back this time next year and smile knowing that all of the above came to pass

Videos

Grandparents:
The Christmas morning video is much too long to post, so I will burn DVDs for you all.
Here is Christmas Eve Cookie eating.


This is some Christmas morning rockin out to the ABC's song.


Here is Caden manipulating the remote control dino to attack Dakota.

Highlights of Christmas

- Making cookies with Caden on christmas eve.
- Watching 'It's a wonderful life' with Jay while sipping tea and eating Christmas cookies by the warm light of our teeny, tiny, artifical tree.
- Waking up Christmas morning after 6.5 hours of uninterrupted sleep. A true Christmas miracle.
- Watching the excitement and wonder in Caden's eyes while he opened his presents.
- Watching him open his drum set and listening to him play ALL DAY LONG...ok, maybe I enjoyed watching him open it more than listening to it :) Although he is quite talented if I do say so myself.
- Listening to Caden playing with his new toys...he received a remote control dinosaur that he chased Dakota with and said, "Dinosaur's going to get you, Da-kA!" He also received playdoh which he calls, "Tomato" even after much correction and a matchbox car shaped like a 70's volkswagon van and he says, 'COME ON CHILDREN! TIME TO RIDE THE BUS!!'
- Seeing what an incredible job my husband did to 'Save Christmas'...he is amazing.
- Drinking the gingerbread tea that I got in my stocking.
- Yummy Christmas dinner that we managed to pull together last minute.
- Eating Christmas cookies like they're going out of style.
- Remembering Christmas is about Jesus being born and not about where I get to spend it.

God is With Us

I have much to be thankful for. So far on our drive back to Crawfordville I have seen a missing child billboard with a picture of a child about Caden's age. I am thankful to have a beautiful little boy who is happy, healthy and safe with me. We've also seen many homeless people walking along the highway. I praise God that I have a home to sleep in tonight regardless of whether or not there is a christmas tree in it. It's safe and warm. We've also passed a few billboards for nudey bars and quicky divorces. I am thankful to have a faithful husband who loves me and is determined to somehow save Christmas. He means everything to me.
Mostly what I've seen is stunning scenery, a friendly sunshine and a massive blue sky that reminds me that regardless of where I am, God is in us, God is for us, God is with us. Emmanuel.
Merry Christmas Everyone.

I won't be Home for Christmas

We stayed the night in Orlando last night, headed to the airport this morning, found out our flight was delayed 6 hours which would cause us to miss our connecting flight in Toronto. After trying for 2 hours to figure something out, we were told by several Air Canada ticket agents that there would 0% chance of us getting out of Toronto before the 27th of December. Since this would only give us 4 days in Newfoundland, we decided after much crying (me crying, Jay held it together) that we were going to call the whole thing off.
So tomorrow we'll head back to Tallahassee, hopefully in enough time to catch Walmart before it closes and get Caden some things for Christmas and some groceries since we have none.
To say that I am devastated would be an under statement. I am sick to my stomach sad about not having a white Christmas at home with my family. My mother has been preparing for weeks...she too is devastated. They went all out for us to come home...she baked all our favourite things, she and dad found and refurbished a bike, sled and rocking horse for Caden...now they have to spend the holidays staring at the unused toys in a quiet house with no visitors. It's heartbreaking.
Caden keeps asking when we're going on our trip..."Go on airplane? Go see Nan? Where's snow?" It's gut wrenching. I'm finding it very difficult to accept that this is it, but it is. I need to mourn the Christmas that I had created in my head because it is not going to happen. I will spend my 6th Christmas in a row away from home.
I know I'll be able to put on a good face for Caden and I know he'll be excited with the gifts our families have already sent to our Florida home...he'd be happy with a candy cane if that's all he was given...but in my heart I am excited for the 26th when the 25th is over so I don't have to think about it anymore.
I am thankful for the birth of Christ, which is what the season is all about...but I can't help but feel the bitter sting of homesickness in a way I never have before. I've always known I lived far from family but I don't think I realized that at times, it would be impossible to see them. I feel trapped and panicked because I have no control and I can't be where I want to be. It's a terrible feeling, especially at Christmas.
I'm exhausted from crying about it and I have nothing positive to say so I'm going to stop typing now.

I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas

Lucky for me, Newfoundland was dumped on last night with snow. I prayed for a white Christmas. I love how God manipulated the weather patterns in North Eastern North America just for me :)
It's going to be amazing...now we just need to get there!
We're in Orlando, waiting for our airplane shuttle to pick us up. I'm hoping that all of the snow over the last few days in Toronto and St. John's isn't going to negatively effect our travel plans.
I'm believing everything will be ok, Caden will be a perfect angel and everything will go smoothly.
I'm excited to put my son in snow pants for the first time and take him sliding (sledding) on the new wooden sled he is getting for Christmas. I am ridiculously excited to get there.
"I'm dreaming of a white Christmas, just like the ones I use to know.
Where the tree tops glisten and children listen to hear sleigh bells in the snow. I'm dreaming of a white Christmas, with every Christmas card I write.
May your days be merry and bright and may all your Christmases be white."

Rip it, Rip it Good

Caden was able to get a head start on the gift opening this year. This is the first Christmas that he has been able to grasp Baby Jesus, Santa, Christmas trees, Christmas cookies, Christmas in general and gift opening.
Last year he was very frustrated that everything was wrapped in paper. In his eyes, this was a very annoying barrier between him and new toys.
This year, he has had the chance to open a few pre-Christmas gifts, and he is a big fan of ripping the paper and discovering what lies underneath.
Caden is going through a bit of a rebellious phase right now. Very defiant and very stubborn...I know that his strong will is something that will make him a strong and independent adult but right now, it seems as though it's one battle after another...Hopefully he will have presents under the tree this Christmas and not just a big lump of coal or a festive spank on the bottom :)
After all, I'd hate for his new found gift opening skills to be wasted.

Here is Caden opening some gifts from Grandma and Grandpa (Jay's parents). Grandma and Grandpa sent lots of toys too but they wanted him to have these cute and practical presents for our trip to Canada. It was nice to see how Caden will do with the gift opening and it appears that he'll be able to hold his own :)





Thanks Grandma and Grandpa!

Today we leave for Orlando and tomorrow we fly out to Newfoundland. Pray against delayed flights, pray for a pleasant and cooperative toddler (a true Christmas miracle!) and pray for safety and joy for everyone around the world this holiday season.

A Tale of Two Ribs

Yesterday Jay left early for work, so I was home with Caden by myself, getting us ready for work/school. I was blow drying my hair and Caden was running around the bathroom like a crazy monkey when I gently (and I seriously mean gently) flipped my head from one side to the other. POP! In between my shoulder blades shot this horrible pain. It scared me and with every breath I tried to take in, it would hurt more and more.
I turned off the hairdryer and thought to myself, "Oh my gosh, I threw my back out!"
I have a lot of back problems for a 25 year old woman...I have a slipped disc in my lower back and scoliosis that I developed from my pregnancy. Lucky, I have a chiropractor who has completely changed the quality of my life so I immediately called his office and left a message. They weren't open for another hour so I left in the message what had happened and asked for them to call me back right away.
I still had to get Caden dressed and his lunch packed for school. I decided to tackle lunch first.
II have never had a more difficult time buttering bread. It was excruciating.
This is another reason why living in Crawfordville is awful...because there is no one that I know close by who can help me in a crisis. I soldiered on.
Next was the hard part. Getting Caden dressed. On a good day this is a nightmare. He likes to kick, wiggle, run in the opposite direction and purposefully do the opposite of what I say. It's like gymnastics trying to get him ready. After many, MANY attempts to have him put his own foot in his pants I lost it. I yelled at him.
I hate yelling at him. I don't believe in yelling...I believe in being stern, I believe in the power of a properly administered wooden spoon :) and sometimes I have to raise my voice in order to be heard over his, but this was an 'I lost my cool' kind of yell.
I apologized to him and asked for his help. He seemed to have been unaffected by my fit of rage, and continued to be impossible. Eventually, he was dressed and in the car.
We headed into town. Every turn I had to make with the steering wheel was like a stab to the upper mid-back. I was starting to get really scared that I would be in pain for our trip to Canada. The timing was not good.
I finally got Jay on the phone and said, "I threw my back out this morning."
To which he replied, "Ok..."
This made me even more angry. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'OK' !!!?!?!"
Innocently enough, he was just waiting for me to finish the story, but he didn't give me the response I wanted and pain makes me irrational. I continued driving, fuming and him, at Caden, at God and mostly at myself for being so mad at everyone.
I got Caden into school. The chiropractors office called me back and told me they had a 2:15 appointment open. It was 8:50 when they called. I said ok and headed to work. Home was too far to retreat to (Crawfordville....Grrr) so I figured I might as well make some money.
On the way from school to work I asked God for forgiveness and grace for blowing it. I'm thankful that he hears me and forgives my short comings when I'm so undeserving.
I work from 9-2 and get to the chiro at 2:10, who is running about 25 minutes behind. Finally, he greets me in the lobby. I told him the problem was in my upper back today and he said, "Really? Turn around."
So in the lobby he felt my spine and then pushed in on a specific area saying, "Does it hurt when I do this?"
My entire body jolt when he touched me should have been an indication that yes, it hurt, A LOT!
"You have a rib out!" he said. He felt around some more and touched another terrible spot just below the first and said, "You have 2 ribs out. You did quite the number on yourself today."
You would think I had been whipping my hair around like I was in a music video or something, but no...I was simply, gently tossing it from one side to the other in an attempt to dry it. A woman in her 20's shouldn't be this fragile.
I went into his office and he proceeded to pop the ribs back into place. Not a fun experience, but a much necessary one. According to his description, the ribs join at the spine and two of mine had slipped from their rightful connecting place and were resting between my spine and lungs...that's why breathing was such a painful task.
From there my darling husband made me a massage appointment (making up for earlier :) and we all went home afterwards instead of going to the church Christmas party, which as sad I was to miss it, was the right decision. After dinner, hot tea, chocolate and the Muppet's Christmas special, I was feeling much better.
Today, I'm sore but in good shape...and my hair is wet and in a pony tail :)

Excuse me, but....

I need a moment to whine. If you have no patience or empathy for whiners, please don't continue to read on. Tune in tomorrow or the next time I update.
I HATE COMMUTING! I hate living in Crawfordville and I hate spending 1.5 hours (minimum) in my car daily with a screaming toddler. I love the screamer, I hate the screaming.
I feel as though I will be a better mother, wife and all around person when I am not soiled by the negativity of being trapped in my car so much. My house is always a disaster because when I'm not at work, I am on route to and from. I'm sick of it.
I'm sick of having no control over when my house is going to sell. I'm sick of people being terrified to buy real estate because the media predicts so much doom and gloom when really now (if you're financially stable) is the best time to buy!
I'm sick of living in a town so far from everyone and everything. I'm done.
The drive makes me bitter and angry. I pray constantly to be delivered from this situation and I know it's only a matter of time...and I know what my attitude should be and that I must be patient while God brings His perfect will to fruition but that doesn't change the fact that I'm sick and tired.
I'm thankful to have a home when people are homeless. I'm more than thankful for the memories we've made there. I will honestly miss, and probably even cry when we sell our home to someone else...but I also know that it's just wood and carpet and that a house doesn't make a home...I know how much better off we'll be once we're done with it. Done with the mortgage we can't afford and the constant commuting. Done with the worry of 'what if something breaks, how will we fix it?' Done with the isolation and not being able to do anything because we live so far away and we'll be out far past Caden bed time. Every time we want to do something it's a total circus act. We are a logistical nightmare...and I don't like what it's doing to us. We're gaining weight from always having to eat out, we're tired all the time, we're sick every other week...we're just flying at a pace that's way too fast because it takes us forever to get from point A to point B and back again.
I want to be able to go home for lunch...I actually lust over this thought daily. I want my car to stop looking like trash can because we practically live out of it. It's littered with Caden's snacks to pacify him on the long drive home when he's tired and hungry, take out bags from dinners and breakfasts on-the-go, changes of clothes because we're never close enough to home...and countless other things that make living on the run possible.
I'm done with it. It's too chaotic, even for me...and that's saying something!
I know the only thing that can change this is prayer...and I know that there are far more pressing issues in this world than the sale of Kathy's house, but if you have a moment...even where you sit right now...please pray over this for us. You have prayed with me over Jay's job and Caden's school and God has miraculously come to our aid in these scenarios. I know He listens to us...and if ever, EVER you need prayer within your life, call me. I know from your example that prayer is powerful.
I am smart enough to know that the grass isn't always greener on the other side...and I know that all of my problems won't disappear the minute our address changes...but I want to spend more time with my family and I want to be able to have a livable home that I get to spend time in. I want to live close to friends, work, church and civilization. Sharing a car and commuting 45 minutes one way in order to do anything is absolute insanity and I'm just worn out. I also could jump for joy at the thought of renting again. Being a home owner is awesome if you're prepared...otherwise, stay where you are! Being house poor isn't worth having a house.
I know the Hebrews prayed for hundreds of years for deliverance in Egypt...I hope it doesn't take that long to sell this house...but if my great grandchildren are still trying to unload this property I hope it's because they will inherit some kind of promise land.

Today

Our department at work hosted a Christmas breakfast buffet this morning. Since I am not known for my culinary skills, I offered to play Christmas music to set the mood. It went great! It was very relaxed and easy going...I didn't want it to be performancy, and it wasn't. It was really fun and people seemed to really enjoy it.
I wish my sinuses didn't effect my voice as much as they do. It's always frustrating to have that limitation. Someday, when life slows down (if it ever will) I will go to the ear, nose and throat doctor to see if anything can be done to help. Until then, I'll sing and bear it.
Sunday was awesome. I've really been missing playing every week and the music yesterday sounded incredible. I don't say that boastfully, because we all know it has nothing to do with our own abilities and everything to do with God's miraculous hand. I love this line from a song called 'None but Jesus':
"In the moment of my weakness you give me grace to do your will."
I remember thinking that over and over throughout the entire set. My voice was cutting in and out, my fingers hit a few wrong notes here and there, but in my weakness God gives me grace to do His will just the same.
Even when my heart and attitude are not what they should be, he gives me His grace so I can bless someone else with his gifts and that in turn, changes me for the better. It's quite humbling.
I don't even know if any of that makes sense today. I didn't get much sleep last night...
In other news, we will be in Newfoundland in ONE WEEK! AHHHHHHHH!

Heavy

Caden and I were driving through a very ritzy community one day with lots of mansion-like homes lining the street. The kind of homes where you could fit 10 houses like mine in the foyer. I didn't know that Caden was paying attention to what was going on outside, but all of a sudden he pointed to one of the homes and said, "Dat house is heavy!"
"You're right!" I said laughing. "It IS heavy!"
I thought that was one of the deepest statements I had heard in a long time. America is a 'rich' nation, but the majority of us overspend and live way above our means, giving us huge amounts of stress which can cause family trouble, addictions, health problems, etc. Even though we live in a 1290 square foot home, Jay and I still fall into the category of having eyes bigger than our bank account. Buying a house is always something to be excited about, but Jay and I are the first to admit that given our situation, we had no business buying when we did. We also despise past Jay and Kathy for buying a brand new car without even looking around....we have lived and we have learned and we're excited to do it right next time. Luckily, we make it work (through Divine intervention)...but there are many who can't and that's insanely troublesome and 'heavy'.
We are VERY blessed, but material-wise, we don't have a whole lot..we have what we need, so I'm ok with that. I'm actually obnoxiously excited about deals. I get giddy when I find outfits at the Goodwill. I sell Caden's old stuff on craigslist to buy him new stuff because that just make sense to me..I call it 'recycling'. Living pay cheque to pay cheque means having to be creative, especially during the holidays.
A woman posted an ad on craigslist about how her son's eyes are so bad that he needs to stand really close to the TV in order to see it. She said that when he sneezes, he hits his head on the screen..that's how close he has to stand to it.
Instead of asking for glasses or money for a vision exam, she asked for someone to give her family a big screen TV so that he would be able to see it clearly. I ALMOST wrote her...but refrained...it would not have been a Christmasy email.
Is this seriously what Christmas has become? I love the holidays, I love hearing my son sing Christmas songs about Baby Jesus, I love that he loves Santa and Christmas lights and ornaments with his picture on them (courtesy of his school), I love sticking my Christmas cards to the pantry door and putting Caden's Christmas crafts on the fridge. I love cookies and candy canes and hot, apple cider...but I refuse to give into this notion that I must go broke to make this holiday special for my child. Am I a bad parent because I found a used library book online for him for Christmas that I know he's going to love?
I was standing in line at the post office yesterday to mail a small Christmas package to my in-laws and the woman in front of me had about 25 boxes to mail. She looked at me, she looked at my parcel and said disapprovingly, "So I'm the over doer and you're the under do-er." WHAT!?! She had no idea that what lay in my tiny Christmas parcel was going to make my husband's parents super happy! She was simply judging me based on quantity, not quality!
Am I a bad person for spending less than $200.00 for everyone combined this Christmas? Maybe I am...but I don't remember what I got for Christmas when I was 2.5. I don't even remember what I got for Christmas when I was 19. Heck, I don't remember what I got last year! But I do remember baking Christmas cookies, driving around to see the lights, having my picture taking with Santa...all things that we have done with our son this year. These things cost nothing but time and energy (and whatever materials you need for cookies :) but they mean everything. Pastor Phil called it being 'relationally rich'.
I know it's a worn out tune, the frustration with the commercialism of Christmas, but I am jumping on the bandwagon to say that enough is enough. Don't hold back from giving to your children and loved ones, but give what you can, not above what you're able. Have a Merry Christmas, not a Heavy one.

Divine Encounters

Last night I had a major headache. Caden had cried like a fool when I dropped him off for school yesterday morning, clinging to my leg screaming, "MAMA!" completely throwing me off my game for the rest of the day. In the several months that he has been attending his new school, this has happened twice. It's all in the name of manipulation...plus, he is going through a BIG TIME mama phase right now.
When we picked him up he was happy to see us and we all headed home together. Jay looked tired, Caden looked tired, I know I was tired...so we stopped off to buy some dollar menu dinner. Cheap, easy and no nutritional value whatsoever.
We were the only ones in the 'restaurant' until a man walked in and sat down a few booths away from us. To say he looked down on his luck would be an understatement. he was tall, but weighed only about 130 pounds, was probably about 70 years old and had rags tied around the holes in his jeans to keep the cold out. He sat with his head in his hands, letting out a deep sigh every now and then.
It is in situations like these that my husband comes to life. I saw him watching this man out of the corner of his eye. He'd look at him, then he'd look at me....until finally I said, "Go sit with him."
"Thanks." Jay said smiling, knowing his telepathic messages had gotten through to me.
Caden and I continued to eat our brown paper bag meals, singing 'jingle bells' and talking about what it means to be 'too loud inside' and how it hurts people's ears. Every now and then he would let out a yell then say, "Sorry, people's ears!"
All the while Jay and his new friend were chatting it up. A few minutes later, Jay came over and asked if I had any cash. I handed him a five and he went back over.
As we were leaving, Jay introduced Caden and I to the gentleman. He had very kind eyes.
When we got in the car I asked Jay about his conversation. He said the man lived in a tent on the property of a church where he plays guitar on Sunday's. He asked Jay for a dollar to buy a needle and thread to fix holes in his tent and his clothes...Jay has been in many of these situations and has heard it all, but he said, "Call me naive, but I really believe that's what he'll buy."
I asked him if he prayed with him and Jay said, "He was trying to save me!"
Apparently, this gentleman was on fire for Jesus, and tried to walk Jay through the prayer of Salvation, only to be pleasantly surprised that Jay was a believer too. Then Jay said the man looked him square in the eye and said, "When I get to heaven, me and Jesus are going to kick that son of a b**** devil all the way to hell!"
We cracked up hysterically...what an awesome statement! I know he cursed, but look past that for a second...
Jay and I have a lot of experience working with people who are down on their luck. When we were first married, we worked for The Salvation Army in Greenville, SC and we made a lot of relationships with individuals who called the damp, Salvation Army shelter 'home.'
I've noticed over the years that a common theme amongst the homeless is blaming the devil for everything.
The devil is why I made that mistake. The devil is the reason why I'm homeless. The devil is the reason for everything bad that has ever happened to me.
I know the devil is a very real threat to us and that temptation is something even Jesus himself had to overcome, but making the devil the scapegoat for all your bad choices removes responsibility from you and creates a victim mentality that's hard to shake.
I was so blessed and happy to hear someone who has little to nothing, who has been kicked in the face over and over again, who has probably endured more hardship than most of us combined, stand and boldly proclaim that through Christ, he can defeat darkness. That regardless of what this world throws his way, he has the power through Jesus to kick it back to hell where it belongs.
I love that God has placed a special set of eyes in the heart of my husband. I'm blessed to experience more of God than I could on my own by being married to a godly man.

Breathe

The past two weeks have been a whirlwind of activity. Travelling, working, volunteering, socializing. We went to Atlanta, came back and dove head first into church on Sunday, small group on Monday, work everyday, church on Wednesday, and a million things inbetween. I work 9 hour days Mon-Thurs and Friday's are very flexible. This past Friday I put Caden in school because I knew he would have more fun there than being dragged all over town, and I proceeded to run a million errands. That is not an exaggerated number. I finished and mailed Christmas cards, went to several houses all over town buying and selling things (i love craigslist!) I went to a baby store, grabbed some food, ran to Costco, dropped by Caden's school to drop off his car seat and by the time I finished my second round at Walmart I put my head on the steering wheel in the parking lot and thought, "I don't know how I am going to get home."
This intense wave of fatigue came all over me. I knew the house was a disaster and I needed to clean it for a baby shower the next day, but I could barely turn the key in the ignition to get myself home.
I called Jay and he was on his way back from Panama City. I warned him that I needed to take a nap for an hour and when I was done, I would clean up the house. I'm not a napper, so he knew I had to be super sleepy.
I made it home and collapsed into bed. Several hours later I woke up to a fresh smelling house and the most amazing husband I had ever laid eyes on.
A woman's husband can't look any better than after cleaning the house from top to bottom ;)
Amber brought Caden home and helped decorate for the shower on Saturday, which was super fun. Saturday evening we were exhausted, but dragged our tired and sorry behinds into the Christmas parade which ended up being really nice since we left before it was over to beat the traffic.
Sunday morning came and I did something I haven't done since university. I skipped church.
I slept in until 9:30 while Jay played with Caden, I showered and put on clean pajamas with no intention of going anywhere for the entire day and I sat, for elongated periods of time, doing absolutely nothing productive. It was AMAZING.
I am not a supporter of church skipping. In fact, I am sad that I missed it because I know it was great....but the Stock family needed a breather. A day with no obligations, no where to be, nothing to be done. No errands to run, no phone calls to make, no projects to tackle. Down time. Much needed down time. I think the bible calls it a day of rest :)
This opportunity will not come about anymore for the rest 2008. I am scheduled to play for the next two Sundays, this coming Saturday is wayfm sponsored "Movies in the Park" and the following Saturday we need to prepare and pack for our trip to Canada :) There are numerous other things to do in between and then we're off, gallivanting around North America until 2009.
Yesterday was a nice time of nothingness to quiet our minds and prepare ourselves for the mad rush that is our everyday lives.

The Heart of a Child

About 2 weeks ago we began sponsoring a child from Zambia named Chrispine. At that time, we showed Caden his picture and had him repeat his name. After that, we never mentioned him again by name. We spoke of his 'brother' in our prayers, but we didn't say his actual name. We thought just referring to him as 'brother' would be easiest for now, since we didn't have a picture of him to reference.
The other night, our package arrived from World Vision with Chrispine's pictures and information. I showed the picture to Caden and said, "Who is this?" Expecting him to say, "Dend!" (which means 'friend' in Caden language).
Instead he looked at it and shouted, "CHRISPINE!"
I was floored! He remembered his name! My 2.5 year old son remember the name of his brother from Zambia, as though he understood how special he is. 2 weeks ago we showed Caden Chrispine's picture and explained all about him, thinking it was going way over his 2.5 year old head, but he grasped the importance of that little boy and made a note in his mind to remember his name....It was overwhelming to me.
I may be biased, but I see in my little boy such a compassionate heart. He's sensitive and deep while being crazy and silly. I am so blessed to know him and intimidated by raising him. I know already that he is and is going to be a far better person than I am, and I praise God for that, while asking for the direction and strength to raise him in a way that doesn't quench the beautiful person God has created him to be.

It's December

Ok, when did that happen? Life is FLYING past me at lightening speeds. I once heard it said that the faster time goes, the older you are. Makes sense.
I know I said I would post thanksgiving pictures, and trust me, I will...but time has not allowed itself since returning to Tally. We got home Saturday night, washed some clothes, unpacked what we needed for the next day and proceeded to go to sleep because Sunday mornings come early. The next day started at 5:30 and was an all day church affair. After getting home at 4pm we had some much needed family time in the evening followed by lunch packing, more laundry doing and an early bed time.
Monday, I left for work before 8am and got home at 11pm. Tuesday, we accidentally all slept in till 7:30, so it was a mad rush to leave the house. We got home at 6pm, made dinner, bathed Caden, cleaned up, did the remainder of the 600 lbs of laundry and collapsed into bed. Now it's Wednesday...and I have 9 hours of work, 15 minutes for Amber and I to scarf down some drive through followed by One Night at church...so I'll be getting home pretty late again. All of this to say, sorry there are no pics up. There will be soon, I promise! So far tomorrow night is free and my laptop and I shall sit down to watch some brainless television, sip some tea and upload photos.
Today has been pretty fun at work. GASP! Kathy is speaking positively about work!!!
The truth is I've begun living and feeling as lucky and blessed as I am. Sure, I miss Caden and would be home with him full-time again in a heartbeat, but he's in an amazing school that he LOVES. He cheers in the mornings when he gets to go and talks about his friends continuously. I've matured and realize that during the week, I get to see him at his crabbiest moments, and that's ok. I'll love him through his post-school fatigue and look forward to the weekends when it is all mama, all the time.
Work is actually a great thing. Aside from a pay cheque, I work with really nice people who encourage me and pray for me and make me feel special. Apparently, Christmas is a big deal at Datamaxx. I received a 10 day calendar of fun work day events including free food, treats from secret elves and 'decorate your cubicle'. I've got it really good.
Funny conversation today with the receptionist, went something like this:

Receptionist: "What are you doing for Christmas, Kathy?"

Me: "I'm going to Canada. That's where I'm from."

Receptionist: "WOW! I would have had no idea! Now, is 'Canadia' colder than here?

Me: "Um..yes...much colder."

Receptionist: "And 'Canadia' is not part of America, right?"

Me: "No...no it's not."

Receptionist: "So you're not American?!?"

Me: "No, I'm a permanent resident."

Receptionist: "I would have had no idea."

Thanksgiving

This has been one of the most memorable, thought provoking, thankful Thanksgivings I have ever had.
On Tuesday, we drove to Atlanta to spend our Thanksgiving holiday with our dear friend Julie and her children, 2 year old Ava and 9 month old Karsten. Unfortunately, Julie's husband John (another dear friend) is out of the country on business so we missed spending the holiday with him. None the less, it was amazing to see Julie and the kids. Caden and Ava were fast friends and spent the entire week playing, singing, hugging and encouraging potty activity. Caden is still asking about her. They were adorable together.
Jason and Julie had arranged for our long-time friends Desmond and Kristy (and their little doggy, Brody) to be there as well so they showed up on Wednesday night completely surprising me. It was amazing to spend time with them. I've missed them so much.
Julie went all out to make Thanksgiving special, cooking some of the best foods and desserts I have tasted in a LONG time and opening her home to people who had no family close to share the holidays with. The kids were adorable together, the dogs were adorable together and the adults shared in some special time, reminded of how awesome friendship is.
I was overwhelmed with thankfulness this weekend. I'm thankful for my marriage. I have an amazing husband who loves me more than I deserve most days and I have an enormous amount of love and respect for him. I'm thankful for my little boy. Caden is growing into such an amazing little person and when I get to spend long chunks of time with him like I did this past week, I'm reminded of how blessed I am to have him as my son.
I'm thankful for our life. Even though we long to sell our house and our budget is more than tight most days, I am so incredibly thankful for what we have and the memories we're making within the walls of our home.
I'm thankful for friendship. Real, authentic, friendship. The kind where you can go a very long time without seeing one another and when you come together it's as though you never parted. I'm thankful for people who make me laugh to the point of crying. I'm thankful for honesty and trust. I'm thankful for understanding and how a sense of family can exist between people who aren't related. True friendship is an incredible and rare gift.
I'm mostly thankful for the love, power, peace and mercy of Christ in my life. Where in the world would I be without God? Where else would I go? I don't even want to know...
This week (especially this weekend at church) I was reminded once again of how much bigger God is than anything...how He hears us when we pray....how He loves us more than we could even possibly love our own spouse and children. I'm able to breathe a heavy sigh of relief and gratitude knowing I serve a God like that. Time alone in God's presence can get me through anything and I am so thankful that He allows me the privilege of sitting in the quiet with Him.
We drove back on Saturday, hitting a ton of traffic in the beginning but finally making it home 7 hours later (it should only be a 5 hour drive) and we woke up at 5:30am the next morning for church. I got home around 4:00pm, much too late in the day to take a nap, so we took Caden and Dakota for a walk around our neighbourhood. We have dirt roads so every now and then Caden would drop to his knees to play in the 'sand box'...which we had to explain to him was our street :)...oh the joys of living in Crawfordville...
After our walk I completely re-organized all the bedrooms. I changed Caden's room around and was able to fit the majority of his toys in there, freeing up serious space in the spare room...then I was able to move the weight bench and dumbbells from our bedroom into the spare room. It was a successful evening. I think the house will show better now. I'm trying to get everything ready for the moment when God decides to send a buyer our way. I'm saving boxes and planning for the move. Should be any second now...
I took a million pictures of our journeys...but since I am writing this blog at work (shhhhh!) I can't post them right now and I may not get home this evening until about 10pm, at which time I won't be in the mood to upload. I'm hoping to get them up by tomorrow night...so wait eagerly in anticipation :)
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone.
God is good.