Sunday, April 27, 2008

Humbled

Today was a humbling experience for me. Leading worship for the first time with just a microphone in my hand and no keyboard to hide behind...I was scared to death preparing for the services this morning.
I am not a performer by any stretch of the imagination. I get shakey and stupid when I focus on how many eyes are on me...and as much as I could do without the production side of church, I enjoy the bright lights that shine on the stage because they make it difficult for me to see how many people are really out there in the congregation.
I've been struggling all week with sickness..nothing major, just common cold/flu stuff, but this type of bug is detrimental to the vocal chords. In sound check this morning my voice was anything but at it's peak. I was getting increasingly more nervous as the morning went on. I was also getting very nervous about talking and leading people in prayer. Sometimes I get way too caught up in trying to think of something deep and intellectual to say that I loose all train of thought and end up sounding like a wierdo.
I used the bathroom for the kazillionith time before the countdown began for the first service and while in the stall (interesting visual, I know) I just thanked God for the opportunity to serve Him in a way I love. I prayed that the sacrifice of praise we would be making would be pleasing to his senses and that He would humble me.
We went on stage and God took over. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't perfect. There were plenty of moments where my voice cracked and went in and out, but I was completely calm and at peace with the fact that perfection didn't matter. Authenticity matters. People were not going to respond to my perfect pitch..they were going to respond to God working through me...and the only way God will do that is if I admit I can do nothing on my own. I closed my eyes and sang to Him and I could hear the shouts of joy and exclamations of praise coming from the congregation because of what god was doing.
It was an incredible experience. To feel God's presence in that way. To lead with my voice and hear other voices worshipping along. Afterwards, I returned to the bathroom (I drank ALOT of water this morning) and thanked Him again. I just looked up and said, "I think I love you more now than I did this morning. Help me never to be proud of what 'I' do, help me only to be blessed by what 'You' do."
I don't love God more in this moment because he gave me stuff or because he made the set go well...I love Him more because he demonstrated (once again) how incredibly faithful and loving He is. His love and mercy is immeasurable. It's mindblowing.
The band rocked out this morning too. They sounded SO STINKIN GOOD. Thanks Lance and everybody for handling everything while I recooped. You're a talented bunch and I'm proud to minister with you.
In the past few months God has been shaping me, guiding me, directing me, challenging me, annoying me, helping me, showing me, leading me, testing me, and preping me...all to let me know He's not done with me yet. Someone prophesied over me a few months ago that 'The call on my life has not changed' and in that moment I felt like my spiritual wheels started turning....Having poured every moment of the last 2 years into full-time motherhood I wasn't focusing on anything but Caden but now I see and independence rising up in him, reminding me that as much as it is my job to raise him right, it's also my job to let him go...and when that happens I don't want to look back at my life and regret not stepping out in faith down the path that God has chosen for me...afterall, 'the call on my life hasn't changed.'
I may be rambling, the point is that I am humbled. Humbled by God and all that He is, for what He's done, what He's doing and what He's going to do in my life and the lives of those around me. Humbled that He places His voice in my mouth and gives me opportunities to enjoy using it and leading with it. It's awesome. I'm floored.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Scripture Slap

I've been a bit complacent in my bible reading and daily time with God. A while ago I added the 'daily scripture' application to my facebook and today this is what it said:

"To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory. We proclaim him, admonishing and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that we may present everyone perfect in Christ." Colossians 1:27-28

This is a really good slap in the face. Thanks God.

No Better Time Than The Present


Caden peed in the potty last night so this morning he is wearing big boy underwear to teach him the difference between wet and dry. He is yet to pee in the potty today, but he hasn't peed in his pants either so I guess that's a victory.
He does look pretty cute in tighty whities...although I doubt they'll be 'whitey' for very much longer...

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

GenesisChurch.Tv 5th Anniversary Weekend

It all started on Friday night with the 'Night of Stars' Volunteer Appreciation Event.


We were greeted by the vicious Paprazzi...i know i spelled that wrong.


Trying to dodge Lance's camera.


Being interviewed on the red carpet


The award winning volunteers



Winners, Dave and Lynn Phillips, making out...while their awards do the same.


Next was the Annual Kickball tournament/picnic in the park on Sunday afternoon.


GC.TV Band/Media Kickball team


I taught Caden to say, "GO TEAM!" He was very into the competition.


Mike preparing while the others cheer him on. This was a hardcore match.


The Teams Secret Weapon!

Tuesday, April 22, 2008


Precious Moments.

Life is What YOU Make it

I'm very inspired by the people I see around me who are taking their lives into their hands and not settling. The parents I see going back to school and getting that degree they said they never could,those opening up businesses they've always dreamed of opening but never had the guts to start. I'm only 24 years old but there have been times when I've told myself my options are limited and my time has passed to acheive certain things....then I read an article about a 75 year old man who was in grade 2, getting the education he missed out on and always thought he wouldn't have...I love people and stories that inspire.
It's taken me a while to figure out what I want to do...which passions I want to persue as a career and what passions I want to devote free time to. I'm very happy with how life is right now but I finally have some plans as to what I can see myself doing in the next couple of years...when Caden is in school fulltime and doesn't need me as much as he does now.
Going back to work was a big step for everyone in the Stock house. Caden had to adjust to school, Jay had to adjust to me not being around all the time on the home front and I had to adjust to life in the real world again. So far, Caden LOVES school and is so much healthier socially, Jay has become much more helpful around the house and cherishes the days when it's just Caden and Daddy, and I LOVE my job...the routine of having somewhere to be but the flexibility of being with my kid. God is good.
The skin care boutique where I freelance has been very inspirational too. One woman's desire and passion produced an adorable and classy business where women walk in feeling one way and walk out feeling much better. It's amazing what a good eyebrow waxing or make up job can do for the self-esteem...and I'm not saying that be sarcastic..I really mean it!
There was a long period in my life where I put no thought into my appearance because I was ashamed of being overweight. I'm glad that I developed a good personality and sense of humour and didn't depend on my looks to acheive things, but sometimes I still think I'm that 200 pound girl in the 11th grade. (Please don't make fun of me Dave :)
I'm proud of myself for taking my health into my hands and loosing the weight in a sensible way yet underneath the sense of humour still lies a girl with little confidence and a poor self image. Thankfully, I'm learning through the examples of strong people how to seize the day and realize my potential. I don't want to teach my child that he won't be able to do certain things and the best way to teach him to love God, love people and achieve his goals is to do all of the above myself.
There is nothing more sad then someone who hates their work, hates their situation and tells themselves their stuck in it.
I'm excited for Jay and I. We've got some plans in the works...nothing immediate, but good things take time...and then great things will come all at once.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Caden's Song



We're still trying to figure out all the lyrics, but I'm pretty sure the end is, "Mama, Mama, Ma. Daddy, Daddy Da. Nanny Nan."

Good Hair Days


After 24 years of trial and error, I have finally learned how to style my hair the way I like it AND I have mastered this skill in less than 30 minutes.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Busy Day

This morning I got up at 6:30am. I got ready, ate some cereal, got a little man ready for school, put my keyboard, my laptop, my kid and 3 different bags into the car. I dropped Caden off at school and then stopped at the grocery store to buy enough food for the day.
I arrived at job #1 around 8:30. This job is usually pretty low key but today I was a hot comodity with many reports to submit and lots to accomplish.
After several hours I had to bid farewell to job #1 and go across town to job #2...the freelance make-up artist gig. I scarfed down some lunch in the car...half a sub and some grapes...i'll eat the other half for dinner on my way back to job #1.
I am currently at the boutique but things are slow and I've been given free reign to the internet...thus the blogging.
Since I had to leave job #1 prematurely, I will be returning there when I am done with job #2. Between 3:30pm and 4:30pm I will drop my keyboard off at church and get back to job #1.
I will finish up what I didn't get done this morning..my husband will leave his motorcycle in the parking lot of job #1 and he will take the car home so that he can pick up Caden. I will work until 6:45pm when I will hopefully be able to bum a ride from a fellow band member to worship team practice (i hope jerad has snacks there this evening) where I will be until 9pm.
Then I'll head home, catching a ride back to C-ville with Britt, I'll get in bed and I'll wake up tomorrow morning, ready to take on the world again.
Phew...
Luckily, tomorrow I only work a few hours before switching places with Jay on the parental front..which is my most challenging but favourite job of all.
You've seen my kid. You know how cute he is.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Saying Goodbye...

Our good friends and neighbours, Britt and Erik, are moving to KY at the end of the week....so in the spirit of fun, we had a suprise going away dinner for them.
Thanks to everyone who helped us pull it off.
Here are some shots from the evening.

Here is Britt. Britt is the only woman besides me that Caden cries for. In fact, sometimes he cries to leave me and go with her! He loves him some Britt.

Um...here is Jerad wowing the guests with his ability to play Caden's Wiggle's guitar with his face.

Leksie with little Chloe

Caden and his girl, Britt.


Here are some shots of the party people, partying it up.







We will miss them very much.

On a lighter note, here's what happens when you trust your little boy to colour on his own. When I left he was colouring a picture. When I returned he had coloured himself.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

The Worm Grunting Festival

This morning Caden and I joined our friends Micah and Abby for the worm grunting festival in Sopchoppy, Florida. It was pretty awesome. Very American. Funnel cake, snow cones, BBQ, and many little tents with jams, jellies, crafts, knives, antiques...you name it. We had alot of fun.
Then it was back to Abby's parents house to celebrate her birthday with smoked meats, yummy sides and delicious desserts...at least they looked delicious. Caden and I had to bolt right after lunch due to extreme toddler fatigue.
It was a good time had by all.

Here is the worm grunting in action. People stick stakes in the ground and vibrate the top with some type of metal device. The worms sense the vibrations and come to the surface. The contestant who accumulates the most worms, wins.

'Hey Caden, what do you think of the worm grunting?'

"Huh?"

"Here Abby, wear my frisbee on your head."

"Now I'll wear it on my head!"

Playing with the faucet and doggy bowl.

Caden and Abby's nephew, playing in the backyard.

Friday, April 11, 2008

What Can I Do?

My heart and eyes are being opened lately to some horrific injustices in the world. Maybe it's because Jay and I have become addicted to the documentary channel...maybe it's because American Idol came on with their 'Idol Gives Back' show. I don't know.
I'm increasingly disgusted with the misuse of world funding. Why is it ok for some people to have kabillions of dollars while others barely make 30 bucks a year while battling AIDS? I guess no one can control how much one person makes or how much they give...that would be communism (which I don't support) but it's amazing to me that preventable diseases go untreated, orphans have to make it on their own in mud huts with no food, women and children are raped and murder in the streets with no protection....all because of where they were born.
It's upsetting.
Why was I chosen to be born into a free land where excellent medical care is given freely to anyone who needs it, where school is not only a priveledge but legally required, where as a teenage girl I could ride my bike, go for walks and enjoy life without the fear of being attacked by a murderous gang. When I was a kid I complained about how boring it was, but now that I am more aware I realize that Green's Harbour, Newfoundland, Canada was one of the best places on the planet to grow up.
On one hand I am incredibly thankful...on the other I feel really guilty that I have it so easy.
I guess I'm just confused as to what I can do with this new awareness. Sponsor a child, begin giving regularly to a charity I believe in (although I'd rather cut out the middle man and give directly to the need). I have to do something besides writing blogs about it. Words don't feed the hungry.
In the meantime I can't under estimate the power of prayer. When I start thinking that the problem is much bigger than I am, I remember God is much bigger than the problem.

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

CRAZY!


This little girl was recently born in India and her parents called her Lali. If you haven't noticed, she has two faces!
She was born with this crazy condition that is usually affiliated with severe health complications but apparantly, aside from two faces, she is normal and healthy.
In the predominantly Hindu village where she lives, she is being worshipped as the reincarnation of a Hindu God. Villagers are bringing her money and touching her feet as a sign of respect and an effort to receive blessing.
Her mother says she can drink from both her mouths, breath through both of her noses and she can blink all four of her eyes at the same time.
CRAZY!

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Sunday, April 06, 2008

The Women of Guatemala

I don't think I have ever witnessed anything as disturbing and heart breaking as the documentary I am currently watching about women in Guatemala. Women in this nation are being raped and murdered by the thousands. In the past year, 600 women have been brutally murdered...from young children to the elderly. Women are not safe in the streets, coming to and from school and work. Vicious gangs kill them for sport and entertainment. One man interviewed said it's their own fault because they walk around with short skirts on.
He had just been aquitted of raping a 7 year old girl.
The government is not set up to do anything about this problem. There are protests, activists, movements...but nothing changes. The police have no system for collecting evidence or conducting investigations...When they find a murdered woman, they wipe down her fingers (destroying evidence) and take her fingerprints for no reason...because they have no fingerprints database, no DNA matching system and no system to link crimes or criminal activity...then if she goes unidentified, she is placed in a bag, numbered and burried.
When a family identifies a body as one of their own, the police then give them the responsibility of finding evidence and the criminal. So the case is handed over to the victims to re-live the agony. With no help, no justice and a constant state of fear.
One man watched his daughter get obducted infront of his house. He chased the car with his terrified daughter as far as he could and then he stopped at the police department to seek help. He reported it, told them what the car looked like and where it was headed and then he himself rushed off to keep chasing them.
After 2 hours of looking he came back to the police station to see if they had any news and the officers acted as though they had never seen him before. They had done nothing. Later they found her brutally killed.
I cannot imagine living this way. In a constant state of fear, in a nation where women are looked upon as less than nothing...as game. Where on top of being impoverished the people are unprotected, and they go unheard even right now as I'm typing this blog in my sweet little house with my family all safe and sound.
These women are wailing to God to take their lives instead of their daughters and my biggest concern lately has been how to get Caden to stop screaming in the car.
I praise God for allowing me to grow up in a free and safe nation. I feel unworthy, guilty and grateful all at the same time.
I don't know what to do with the information I've learned this evening...but I figure telling everyone who reads this blog is a good start.
God be with them.

Saturday, April 05, 2008

The Only Bad Thing About Aunt Melissa's Visit....

Is that is was too short. We had alot of fun with Gus/Sissa/Nanny...all names that Caden called her while she was here. It's amazing how quickly time flies...especially when travelling internationally..because 2 of your vacation days are spent hopping plane after plane after plane...
But we had a great time. We played and shopped and went to the zoo and the beach...Melissa got to experience self-contained drive through banking tubes and palm trees. The best thing was when I was cashing a cheque through the bank drive through and she said in wonderment, "So, is she going to blow money back to you now?!?!"
Melissa makes me laugh alot, just by being herself. She's kind, loving and down to earth. I miss her already. We will not let 2 years come and go before seeing eachother again.
Here are some pics from our fun.

Fun in Crawfordville

On the Wakulla Springs boat tour

Hanging at the playground



Starting to show



The Zoo

Melissa holding a Kudu.


Caden's favourites were the elephants, giraffes and....ducks...believe it or not. Haha. Grandpa will be happy to know that Caden is quite the duck fan.





Here is Jay, overheated and hating anything that is 'zoo'..haha.


The Beach