We stayed the night in Orlando last night, headed to the airport this morning, found out our flight was delayed 6 hours which would cause us to miss our connecting flight in Toronto. After trying for 2 hours to figure something out, we were told by several Air Canada ticket agents that there would 0% chance of us getting out of Toronto before the 27th of December. Since this would only give us 4 days in Newfoundland, we decided after much crying (me crying, Jay held it together) that we were going to call the whole thing off.
So tomorrow we'll head back to Tallahassee, hopefully in enough time to catch Walmart before it closes and get Caden some things for Christmas and some groceries since we have none.
To say that I am devastated would be an under statement. I am sick to my stomach sad about not having a white Christmas at home with my family. My mother has been preparing for weeks...she too is devastated. They went all out for us to come home...she baked all our favourite things, she and dad found and refurbished a bike, sled and rocking horse for Caden...now they have to spend the holidays staring at the unused toys in a quiet house with no visitors. It's heartbreaking.
Caden keeps asking when we're going on our trip..."Go on airplane? Go see Nan? Where's snow?" It's gut wrenching. I'm finding it very difficult to accept that this is it, but it is. I need to mourn the Christmas that I had created in my head because it is not going to happen. I will spend my 6th Christmas in a row away from home.
I know I'll be able to put on a good face for Caden and I know he'll be excited with the gifts our families have already sent to our Florida home...he'd be happy with a candy cane if that's all he was given...but in my heart I am excited for the 26th when the 25th is over so I don't have to think about it anymore.
I am thankful for the birth of Christ, which is what the season is all about...but I can't help but feel the bitter sting of homesickness in a way I never have before. I've always known I lived far from family but I don't think I realized that at times, it would be impossible to see them. I feel trapped and panicked because I have no control and I can't be where I want to be. It's a terrible feeling, especially at Christmas.
I'm exhausted from crying about it and I have nothing positive to say so I'm going to stop typing now.
1 comment:
oh Kathy....I am so sorry to hear that. :( I know how hard it must be for you not to see family during the holidays. Did you get any free tickets out of it???
Hey, if you guys don't have plans for New Years Eve, you are more than welcome to come out to our house (we are having a combined community group party--Steve and Jeane Hunter's and Patti and Steve Young's) from 6--12. We would love to have you all join us (kids are welcome to come too). ~Amy
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