I am finally alone...well, not really alone...I'm in a coffee shop, but Caden was well enough to go to school and is apparently doing great (thanks to amber for the update via text message).
He will start attending school on Tuesdays and Thursdays only from 9-1, starting next week. For now that is the most cost-effective and sensible option. He'll still get to socialize while I have time to write, then every other day we'll be having a blast together. I'm still actively looking for some part-time work/piano gigs, but in the mean time, I'd be a liar if I said I wasn't enjoying this stint of stay-at-home-mommyness. I wouldn't have pegged myself as the SAHM type before having Caden but I love it.
I love being home with him. I feel so less chaotic and stressed right now. I am able to take the time to grocery shop and finish a load of laundry and clean the bathrooms without everything falling down around my ears. Don't get me wrong, tending to a toddler while maintaining the house is much more strenuous than going to my cubicle from 9-5 but for me, it's so much more rewarding as well. He's too much fun. At the end of the day, I can say I spent it with him. On the days I don't spend with him, I can say, "WOOHOO! I GET A BREAK!"
I've been pumping out some serious book today. Divinely inspired, I pumped out 4 complete chapters this morning and am hoping to tackle at least 3 more this afternoon. 1/3 of a book down, 2/3's of a book left to go.
Our 3 month contract with our realtor is finished (thank goodness!) so we are pursuing another option. We found a real estate investor who is wanting to buy our house as a rental property if he can get it for the market price, which is MUCH less than what we owe since we bought at the worst possible time. He is trying to negotiate with our lender on our behalf to forgive a portion of our debt, given that we bought right before the market fell to pieces and we've seen some personal financial blows like job changes and losses. He seems optimistic and it appears to be a win/win. I hear that a short sale could possibly ding our credit score, but we refuse to be slaves to our credit report. We believe this would be a responsible and great option for us at this time of our lives.
He also said we could rent one of his Tallahassee properties for free or next to nothing for an entire year if this thing goes through. We looked at one of his 3 bedroom houses and it's adorable, about 3 minutes from Caden's school and 10 minutes from Jay's work...just the thought of not commuting makes my heart sing. So we walk into a cute and cheap place and Mr Real Estate Man gets a great house for a steal. It's probably going to take several months to work this out, and it might take a miracle for it to actually happen, but luckily God is in that sort of business.
With the sacrifice of Jay's motorcycle we are officially credit card debt free for the first time since before we were married. Having to pay for pre-natal care and a birth out of pocket was quite the blow. Here's my credit card commercial:
Last Discover Card Payment: $????.??, Cutting up the card: Priceless.
I rememeber when we first moved to Tallahassee, we wrote out our debts and they were a page long. Now we have 3. House (hopefully soon to be gone), car (2.5 years left, less if we can swing it) and student loan (the last to go).
We're proud of ourselves for knocking all of this out in only 2.5 years.
With the hope of a house sale, a book in the works, more time with Caden, strengthening finances and an overall optimistic outlook on life, I'm feeling pretty fantastic these days.
Alright, back to the book....
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Change of Plans
I will not be at the coffee pub today. Chai tea will have to wait until tomorrow. Caden still isn't feeling 100% so I decided to keep him home again today. He's still his jolly self, running all over the house and jumping on the couch, but his eyes have dark circles and every now and then he'll say, "Caden's sick. I go night night."
Then he'll grab his pillow and blanket, drag them to the couch and take a little rest. He's eating well though and certainly isn't very ill at all. Just enough to earn a free pass to stay at home.
Today will be another great day of playing, cleaning, resting and enjoying the company of my sweet little man. This stay-at-home experience is so much different than the first two years I spent at home because now Jay comes home between 4 and 5 instead of between 8-9. Those were long, lonely days...but now, I feel like he's home as soon as Caden wakes up from his nap and it's fantastic.
Pray for my husband. For joy, health, direction and revitalizing energy. He's an amazing person. He hurt his knee last night doing P90X and is pretty bummed that he's going to have to rest it for a while because he was just starting to see results. Limping, missing his motorcycle and searching for God's direction, he could really use some intercessory prayer. Thanks friends!
Then he'll grab his pillow and blanket, drag them to the couch and take a little rest. He's eating well though and certainly isn't very ill at all. Just enough to earn a free pass to stay at home.
Today will be another great day of playing, cleaning, resting and enjoying the company of my sweet little man. This stay-at-home experience is so much different than the first two years I spent at home because now Jay comes home between 4 and 5 instead of between 8-9. Those were long, lonely days...but now, I feel like he's home as soon as Caden wakes up from his nap and it's fantastic.
Pray for my husband. For joy, health, direction and revitalizing energy. He's an amazing person. He hurt his knee last night doing P90X and is pretty bummed that he's going to have to rest it for a while because he was just starting to see results. Limping, missing his motorcycle and searching for God's direction, he could really use some intercessory prayer. Thanks friends!
Monday, January 26, 2009
Today...
..was a fantastic day! I got so much done around the house, all the while having a blast with my little man. He isn't feeling 100% but...is it bad to say that he's nicer when he's sick? Bad or not, it's the truth. We had a great time together today, reminding me of how much I've missed him over these past couple of months, working 9 hours a day...I think what happened with my job was an answer to prayer, even if the numbers don't really work out on paper...I know God has this in His hands.
My eye is healing, slowly but surely. I still a little bit like Quasimodo (spelling?) but it's getting there.
Last night Caden did yoga with Jay and I. It was the cutest thing I've ever seen. He had his hands clasped and was doing his deep breathing. Then he would stick his little booty up in the air and say, "I made it, Mama!"
Adorable.
After a while he got bored which meant he got distracting and he definitely started 'harshing our chi'.
I quit yoga half way through but Jay held strong til the end. Yoga is no joke. At the end, they encourage you to 'om' or make humming sounds as you breathe. Jay and I were laughing so hard that tears were pouring down our cheeks...good thing this group class was in the privacy of our living room, because we totally would have gotten kicked out of a public class for our lack of flexibility, grace and seriousness.
I brought Dakota to the vet tonight. Double ear infections for her. Apparently that's what you get for being a husky in Florida. Her ears sweat with no ventilation, creating a pool of bacteria. Nasty.
That's the scoop. Tomorrow, if Caden feels well, I will be dropping him off at school and heading to the coffee pub for a day of writing. I want to nail out as much of this thing as I can while I have nothing but time. If anyone is bored and wants to have a chai tea with me, you know where I'll be!
My eye is healing, slowly but surely. I still a little bit like Quasimodo (spelling?) but it's getting there.
Last night Caden did yoga with Jay and I. It was the cutest thing I've ever seen. He had his hands clasped and was doing his deep breathing. Then he would stick his little booty up in the air and say, "I made it, Mama!"
Adorable.
After a while he got bored which meant he got distracting and he definitely started 'harshing our chi'.
I quit yoga half way through but Jay held strong til the end. Yoga is no joke. At the end, they encourage you to 'om' or make humming sounds as you breathe. Jay and I were laughing so hard that tears were pouring down our cheeks...good thing this group class was in the privacy of our living room, because we totally would have gotten kicked out of a public class for our lack of flexibility, grace and seriousness.
I brought Dakota to the vet tonight. Double ear infections for her. Apparently that's what you get for being a husky in Florida. Her ears sweat with no ventilation, creating a pool of bacteria. Nasty.
That's the scoop. Tomorrow, if Caden feels well, I will be dropping him off at school and heading to the coffee pub for a day of writing. I want to nail out as much of this thing as I can while I have nothing but time. If anyone is bored and wants to have a chai tea with me, you know where I'll be!
Sunday, January 25, 2009
God's Timing is Perfect
Thursday night I received great news about my future. Friday morning I received not so great news about my present. The company I work for is in financial trouble and for reasons I will not disclose on the Internet, I decided, rightfully, to a 'voluntary' lay off. I wasn't fired, but I was put in a position where I knew it was time to walk away.
I couldn't have parted on better terms though. Hugs and affirmation all around. It was a raw an emotional day, saying good-bye to people I didn't realize I had become so close with. I packed up my personal belongings in an empty paper box, cleared off my desktop and turned in my electronic badge.
One door closed, another one opened. I don't believe it is coincidence that all of this happened within a 15 hour period. I have been praying about my job for a long time, knowing it was a weird fit and missing Caden like crazy. I prayed that God would show me beyond the shadow of a doubt when it was time to move on, and He certainly did. It's OK though. Financially, we'll figure this thing out. I know God is all over it.
My friends at work were very excited about the book. Given the situation there, it was a bit of happy news in the midst of dark, economic times and it warmed my heart to have people celebrate with me in spite of the circumstances surrounding us.
I said to Jay at the beginning of this week that I felt as though God's timing is occurring right now...that answers to our prayers and the work He has been doing behind the scenes is about to become evident. This means good things will happen and things that appear to be 'bad' will happen, but in the end it will work towards His greater purpose and I believe some sort of clarity is on the horizon.
That could not have been truer for this week. Important things have become clear, which have left other things uncertain, but God's timing is perfect and that's all I need to know for sure.
Yesterday, Jay made the very difficult and heart breaking decision to sell his motorcycle. We found someone who was willing to pay for it what it is worth, which in this economy is a blessing in and of itself. I'm so proud of him. He knew he didn't have to do this, but he chose to in order to help the family finances and I promise, with all of you as my witness, that he WILL have another one...a super, sick, awesome one.
Today is Monday. Caden had a fever last night and although he seems fine today, I'm going to keep him home just because I can! It was nice not having to ask any one's permission to do so :)
I couldn't have parted on better terms though. Hugs and affirmation all around. It was a raw an emotional day, saying good-bye to people I didn't realize I had become so close with. I packed up my personal belongings in an empty paper box, cleared off my desktop and turned in my electronic badge.
One door closed, another one opened. I don't believe it is coincidence that all of this happened within a 15 hour period. I have been praying about my job for a long time, knowing it was a weird fit and missing Caden like crazy. I prayed that God would show me beyond the shadow of a doubt when it was time to move on, and He certainly did. It's OK though. Financially, we'll figure this thing out. I know God is all over it.
My friends at work were very excited about the book. Given the situation there, it was a bit of happy news in the midst of dark, economic times and it warmed my heart to have people celebrate with me in spite of the circumstances surrounding us.
I said to Jay at the beginning of this week that I felt as though God's timing is occurring right now...that answers to our prayers and the work He has been doing behind the scenes is about to become evident. This means good things will happen and things that appear to be 'bad' will happen, but in the end it will work towards His greater purpose and I believe some sort of clarity is on the horizon.
That could not have been truer for this week. Important things have become clear, which have left other things uncertain, but God's timing is perfect and that's all I need to know for sure.
Yesterday, Jay made the very difficult and heart breaking decision to sell his motorcycle. We found someone who was willing to pay for it what it is worth, which in this economy is a blessing in and of itself. I'm so proud of him. He knew he didn't have to do this, but he chose to in order to help the family finances and I promise, with all of you as my witness, that he WILL have another one...a super, sick, awesome one.
Today is Monday. Caden had a fever last night and although he seems fine today, I'm going to keep him home just because I can! It was nice not having to ask any one's permission to do so :)
Friday, January 23, 2009
Bathroom Break Through
Last night at around 6:48, I noticed I had a missed call on my cell phone. I checked my voicemail and it was the CEO of the publishing company where I had sent my proposal. AH! Why can I never remember to turn my phone off of silent after work!?!
Let me just say that my bathroom as become a very important room in my house when it comes to my employment and my future. I had my phone interview for Datamaxx in my bathroom because I was home alone with Caden and he had not yet fallen asleep. He sat in his high chair with some crackers watching Mickey Mouse while I landed my first job in two years, sitting in an Indian style on the cover of my toilet seat.
Last night, Caden was being his rambunctious self, so I asked Jay to occupy him while I, once again, proceeded to the bathroom to make a very important call.
Luckily, she picked up. After a few minutes I could tell that she and I have very similar views on things...on reaching out to non-Christian women and letting them know that God is there for them, always, even on the days when being a mom is not such a glorious position.
We talked about the book. She said she liked it a lot, she liked the realness of it and she gave me a few tips on how to make it complete. I loved her ideas and am going to start working on them ASAP.
We talked for about 15-20 minutes and I nervously paced the bathroom tile in hopes that I would have some confirmation as to whether or not this was going to happen. Either way, I was delighted to have gotten this far and to have learned so much.
As she wrapped things up, she said she loved the concept and would be sending me a contract in a couple of weeks!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Needless to say, I'm freaking out with excitement! If you had told me 3 months ago that this would be happening I would have laughed in your face.
This entire experience is proof of a God who hears and answers prayer. I prayed for a means and God made a way. He moved in the life of a woman I've never met to answer my prayer and bring me to this place, less than 48 hours after I prayed it. I searched for a way to write magazine articles and God gave me a book deal...He is so much bigger than my futile thinking.
I was telling Jay last night that I truly believe this is our year. We're motivated in every area, looking for the perfect fits, getting in shape, reading God's word, making things happen for ourselves...I am so excited! I want to run through the halls of work shouting, 'WAHHHHHHH' but I assume that would be frowned upon.
Thank you, ALL of you, who take the time to read my ramblings and encourage me to do bigger and better things. If it wasn't for your affirmation, I wouldn't have pursued this. I'll keep you posted!
Let me just say that my bathroom as become a very important room in my house when it comes to my employment and my future. I had my phone interview for Datamaxx in my bathroom because I was home alone with Caden and he had not yet fallen asleep. He sat in his high chair with some crackers watching Mickey Mouse while I landed my first job in two years, sitting in an Indian style on the cover of my toilet seat.
Last night, Caden was being his rambunctious self, so I asked Jay to occupy him while I, once again, proceeded to the bathroom to make a very important call.
Luckily, she picked up. After a few minutes I could tell that she and I have very similar views on things...on reaching out to non-Christian women and letting them know that God is there for them, always, even on the days when being a mom is not such a glorious position.
We talked about the book. She said she liked it a lot, she liked the realness of it and she gave me a few tips on how to make it complete. I loved her ideas and am going to start working on them ASAP.
We talked for about 15-20 minutes and I nervously paced the bathroom tile in hopes that I would have some confirmation as to whether or not this was going to happen. Either way, I was delighted to have gotten this far and to have learned so much.
As she wrapped things up, she said she loved the concept and would be sending me a contract in a couple of weeks!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Needless to say, I'm freaking out with excitement! If you had told me 3 months ago that this would be happening I would have laughed in your face.
This entire experience is proof of a God who hears and answers prayer. I prayed for a means and God made a way. He moved in the life of a woman I've never met to answer my prayer and bring me to this place, less than 48 hours after I prayed it. I searched for a way to write magazine articles and God gave me a book deal...He is so much bigger than my futile thinking.
I was telling Jay last night that I truly believe this is our year. We're motivated in every area, looking for the perfect fits, getting in shape, reading God's word, making things happen for ourselves...I am so excited! I want to run through the halls of work shouting, 'WAHHHHHHH' but I assume that would be frowned upon.
Thank you, ALL of you, who take the time to read my ramblings and encourage me to do bigger and better things. If it wasn't for your affirmation, I wouldn't have pursued this. I'll keep you posted!
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Christmas in January
Caden has had three Christmases.
1) Gifts from Grandma and Grandpa opened before the 'trip' to Newfoundland.
2) December 25th
3) January 20th. The giant box of gifts we were suppose to open in Newfoundland arrives.
Here is our Christmas in January:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
1) Gifts from Grandma and Grandpa opened before the 'trip' to Newfoundland.
2) December 25th
3) January 20th. The giant box of gifts we were suppose to open in Newfoundland arrives.
Here is our Christmas in January:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Today's Quote:
"Life need not be easy to be joyful. Joy is not the absense of trouble, but the presence of Christ." -William Vanderhoven
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
"Receive every day...as a new enjoyment of life; meet every rising sun with such sentiments of God's goodness as if you had seen it, and all things, new-created upon your account; and under the sense of so great a blessing, let your joyful heart praise and magnify so good and glorious a Creator." - William Law
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Inauguration 2009
I work for a company that specializes in applied technologies and enterprise intelligence for government and law enforcement agencies. Basically, we create and maintain the cool machines that help the good guys catch the bad guys. When I say 'we' I certainly don't mean 'me'...I just collect the money :)
Because of the company's position and interest in homeland security and government, we were all invited to the large, video conference room today to eat pizza and watch the inauguration of the 44th president of the United States.
I've never seen an inauguration before, and this was certainly a great one to witness.
I am not an American citizen, nor will I ever choose to become one, but I do strongly like America and couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sense of pride and excitement when watching this afternoon's festivities unfold.
President Obama, who delivered a powerful and well written speech with charm and charisma, inspired those who watched whether they voted for him or not. I believe this will be a presidency for the history books, not based on the colour of skin but instead on great leadership, vision and intelligence.
I've lived in America for 6 years so this is the first time I will be under the leadership of a President who is not George Bush. I'll admit, I've been more than ready for the change over.
I think for me the most poignant part of the whole thing was when Pastor Rick Warren prayed over the President, the other leaders and their families. It was a moment, for me, of assurance in my faith and re-ignition of my hope. To see some of the world's most powerful men and women, bowing before God's throne in the name of his son Jesus Christ, brought joy to my heart.
For the most part, I believe in the separation of church and state. I do not believe that it is governments job to hold us to a standard of Christian morality, but I was blessed to see this Presidency committed into the hands of God before it began, because regardless of how good or bad President Obama turns out to be, God is still in control. God is in whom we should put our trust. God can change impossible situations in the blink of an eye. God is bigger than America, the so-called super power. Everything is small compared to the greatness of the Almighty and today, we watched as a President-elect bowed his head before taking office and acknowledged all of the above.
What an encouragement! To know our new leader has his priorities straight. That regardless of whether he does everything right in the eyes of the 'church' he took the time to sit in prayer and commit his legacy and leadership to the God of heaven and earth.
I'm excited for what is to come. For what President Obama is going to do, but mostly for what God is going to do through him and the people of the nation I live in.
Because of the company's position and interest in homeland security and government, we were all invited to the large, video conference room today to eat pizza and watch the inauguration of the 44th president of the United States.
I've never seen an inauguration before, and this was certainly a great one to witness.
I am not an American citizen, nor will I ever choose to become one, but I do strongly like America and couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sense of pride and excitement when watching this afternoon's festivities unfold.
President Obama, who delivered a powerful and well written speech with charm and charisma, inspired those who watched whether they voted for him or not. I believe this will be a presidency for the history books, not based on the colour of skin but instead on great leadership, vision and intelligence.
I've lived in America for 6 years so this is the first time I will be under the leadership of a President who is not George Bush. I'll admit, I've been more than ready for the change over.
I think for me the most poignant part of the whole thing was when Pastor Rick Warren prayed over the President, the other leaders and their families. It was a moment, for me, of assurance in my faith and re-ignition of my hope. To see some of the world's most powerful men and women, bowing before God's throne in the name of his son Jesus Christ, brought joy to my heart.
For the most part, I believe in the separation of church and state. I do not believe that it is governments job to hold us to a standard of Christian morality, but I was blessed to see this Presidency committed into the hands of God before it began, because regardless of how good or bad President Obama turns out to be, God is still in control. God is in whom we should put our trust. God can change impossible situations in the blink of an eye. God is bigger than America, the so-called super power. Everything is small compared to the greatness of the Almighty and today, we watched as a President-elect bowed his head before taking office and acknowledged all of the above.
What an encouragement! To know our new leader has his priorities straight. That regardless of whether he does everything right in the eyes of the 'church' he took the time to sit in prayer and commit his legacy and leadership to the God of heaven and earth.
I'm excited for what is to come. For what President Obama is going to do, but mostly for what God is going to do through him and the people of the nation I live in.
Birthday Re-Cap
Yesterday was Jason's birthday. We had a great day together, breaking our fast and celebrating the life of my favourite human. We woke up early and had a nice breakfast. My eye had been hurting the day before and really began hurting when I woke up yesterday, so we started our day with a 9am trip to the eye doctor to see what was up. There I was told I have a corneal infection (from over wearing my contacts) that caused an ulcer in my eye. I am prohibited from contact lens wearing for the next week or so and I have to use drops every 4 hours. My eye looks red and puffy....not to mention it hurts like someone is stabbing me in it repeatedly with a fondue fork, but I'm hoping that feeling goes away soon.
After the eye doctor and the pharmacy, we went out to lunch at Food Glorious Food where we ordered a whole lot of the stuff we haven't been able to eat. Pasta and cheese and chicken and yum, yum, yum.
Then we hit block buster because we had a gift card from Christmas and we bought 4 movies for 3 bucks!
We picked up some snacks and headed home to watch movies. Amber hung out with Caden so that we could have some much needed time off. Amber's awesome.
In the evening, friends came over for dinner, cupcakes, gifts and fun.
It was a great day for an even greater guy. I love you, Jay. Happy Birthday!
After the eye doctor and the pharmacy, we went out to lunch at Food Glorious Food where we ordered a whole lot of the stuff we haven't been able to eat. Pasta and cheese and chicken and yum, yum, yum.
Then we hit block buster because we had a gift card from Christmas and we bought 4 movies for 3 bucks!
We picked up some snacks and headed home to watch movies. Amber hung out with Caden so that we could have some much needed time off. Amber's awesome.
In the evening, friends came over for dinner, cupcakes, gifts and fun.
It was a great day for an even greater guy. I love you, Jay. Happy Birthday!
Friday, January 16, 2009
The Story
About this time last year, I read the book, "Cure for the Common Life" by Max Lucado. At the end of the book, there is an evaluation that helps you determine your God-given gifts and abilities. Mine is always music, which I love. I praise God for that ability daily, but I was hoping for a revelation of sorts, outside of the obvious.
As I wrote out the exercises, I started to notice the theme was not only music, but writing! Writing was just as prevalent throughout my life.
It was around that time that I started hearing a common theme from friends, family and some blog readers I've never met:
"You should write a book!"
I always shrugged this off. What would I write about? I didn't even finish college, how I can write a book?
I began looking online for a magazine that I could write an article for. My thoughts are always so random and I'm not an expert on any subject, so I thought a magazine article would be much more up my alley then a book.
I looked and searched with no luck. I couldn't find anything that fit me.
A few months ago, I was chatting with my friend Julie one day about this very thing and I found myself saying, "The truth is, I'm going to write whether I get paid to or not."
The truth was out. I just like writing. I like it a lot. It does things for me. I walk through my life experiences and think often about what I can blog about. Pathetic? A little...but it's not the 'blogging' I love, it's the writing and relating to others.
That's the one thing I love most about leading worship too. The sounds of voices singing back at me. Nothing ushers me closer to heaven than that sound. Writing and having people read, enjoy and relate is the same experience. It makes me feel like I am right where God wants me to be, even if I am sitting in my cubicle, pretending to be an accountant.
Long story longer, after I got off my cell phone with Julie, I was standing outside of my office building with my hand on the door and I said aloud, "Father, if this is something you want me to do, you're going to have to show me a way to do it."
Within 48 hours, Kathy Pride, a public speaker and published Christian author found my blog and commented on my post. It was a prayer I had written, having nothing to do with my desire to write professionally, but she offered her services if I ever wanted to break into the Christian women's writing scene.
I was floored. It was the first time in a long time that something was clear. A direction was provided towards something I could do and be.
We began corresponding. I explained to her that she was an answer to prayer and she was humbled to know she had been used of God in that way. She told me she wanted to send me some books and when they arrived I was so overwhelmed with happiness at her desire to help me. She sent me A LOT of books. Reference guides, devotionals for mom's and writers...some of her own material (which is fantastic)...I am so thankful for her and I've never met her in person.
One of the books she has written is Soccer Moms' Devotions to Go and through that book I found the publishing company Extreme Diva Media. I thought long and hard about what I could write about, when I received the best piece of advice ever from my mom who said, "Just write about what you know."
Well, Caden is what I know. Toddlerhood is what I know. So I started there. I wrote out a plan, I wrote a few chapters and I wrote a query letter, explaining the book and what I'd like to do for the company, and sent it to EDM.
The CEO wrote me back immediately, requesting a formal proposal. I finished the proposal today and sent it via email this afternoon.
I can't even explain how excited I am about this. I am prepared for if they decide it's not right for them, but I am excited about this whole process, regardless. I'm excited that it's beginning and that I am learning new things. I am easily intimidated by what I don't know so this has been an eye opening experience and one I will take with me.
Suddenly thoughts have started flooding my head. Through a book, I could begin public speaking! I could collaborate a whole program that incorporates speaking, worship, and encouragement for down to earth, real, women and mothers. I could speak/sing at women's groups and conferences...I don't even know if I could be a public speaker but I can see it in my mind's eye...who knows!
The possibilities are limitless with what God can do...and whether it's from fasting or just a revelation, I'm not discouraged anymore about the house or my work or my future. I'm not panicked about my time away from Caden, although I miss him terribly. I think I'm trusting God...not only that, but I'm excited about what He's going to do because I have a feeling it's going to blow my mind.
As I wrote out the exercises, I started to notice the theme was not only music, but writing! Writing was just as prevalent throughout my life.
It was around that time that I started hearing a common theme from friends, family and some blog readers I've never met:
"You should write a book!"
I always shrugged this off. What would I write about? I didn't even finish college, how I can write a book?
I began looking online for a magazine that I could write an article for. My thoughts are always so random and I'm not an expert on any subject, so I thought a magazine article would be much more up my alley then a book.
I looked and searched with no luck. I couldn't find anything that fit me.
A few months ago, I was chatting with my friend Julie one day about this very thing and I found myself saying, "The truth is, I'm going to write whether I get paid to or not."
The truth was out. I just like writing. I like it a lot. It does things for me. I walk through my life experiences and think often about what I can blog about. Pathetic? A little...but it's not the 'blogging' I love, it's the writing and relating to others.
That's the one thing I love most about leading worship too. The sounds of voices singing back at me. Nothing ushers me closer to heaven than that sound. Writing and having people read, enjoy and relate is the same experience. It makes me feel like I am right where God wants me to be, even if I am sitting in my cubicle, pretending to be an accountant.
Long story longer, after I got off my cell phone with Julie, I was standing outside of my office building with my hand on the door and I said aloud, "Father, if this is something you want me to do, you're going to have to show me a way to do it."
Within 48 hours, Kathy Pride, a public speaker and published Christian author found my blog and commented on my post. It was a prayer I had written, having nothing to do with my desire to write professionally, but she offered her services if I ever wanted to break into the Christian women's writing scene.
I was floored. It was the first time in a long time that something was clear. A direction was provided towards something I could do and be.
We began corresponding. I explained to her that she was an answer to prayer and she was humbled to know she had been used of God in that way. She told me she wanted to send me some books and when they arrived I was so overwhelmed with happiness at her desire to help me. She sent me A LOT of books. Reference guides, devotionals for mom's and writers...some of her own material (which is fantastic)...I am so thankful for her and I've never met her in person.
One of the books she has written is Soccer Moms' Devotions to Go and through that book I found the publishing company Extreme Diva Media. I thought long and hard about what I could write about, when I received the best piece of advice ever from my mom who said, "Just write about what you know."
Well, Caden is what I know. Toddlerhood is what I know. So I started there. I wrote out a plan, I wrote a few chapters and I wrote a query letter, explaining the book and what I'd like to do for the company, and sent it to EDM.
The CEO wrote me back immediately, requesting a formal proposal. I finished the proposal today and sent it via email this afternoon.
I can't even explain how excited I am about this. I am prepared for if they decide it's not right for them, but I am excited about this whole process, regardless. I'm excited that it's beginning and that I am learning new things. I am easily intimidated by what I don't know so this has been an eye opening experience and one I will take with me.
Suddenly thoughts have started flooding my head. Through a book, I could begin public speaking! I could collaborate a whole program that incorporates speaking, worship, and encouragement for down to earth, real, women and mothers. I could speak/sing at women's groups and conferences...I don't even know if I could be a public speaker but I can see it in my mind's eye...who knows!
The possibilities are limitless with what God can do...and whether it's from fasting or just a revelation, I'm not discouraged anymore about the house or my work or my future. I'm not panicked about my time away from Caden, although I miss him terribly. I think I'm trusting God...not only that, but I'm excited about what He's going to do because I have a feeling it's going to blow my mind.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Aw...
Thanks Friends! I have had so much going on lately that I wasn't sure if pouring into the blog was something I should continue doing or not. But I love to write...I almost need to....and I love that you're tuning in to live life with me.
Here's the latest:
Work has actually been pretty busy, which is nice. It's good to be busy because it makes the day go much faster. Speaking of 'fast' er...I wish this fast was over! My positive attitude about how great I feel is long gone. I'm happy to have lost a few pounds, but now I'm bored of rice, beans and water...very much looking forward to Monday.
Speaking of Monday...it's Jay's birthday! He'll be the big 3-1. He is now, officially, in his dirty thirties. I have MANY years until I have to know what that feels like, and I remind him of this on a somewhat regular basis.
Speaking of regular....Jay and I will be beginning a regular, daily fitness routine for the next 3 months called P90X. He ordered the DVD set for his birthday (I guess when you're thirty you get to buy yourself presents?) and we're starting it on Tuesday. We're hoping to be super fit by April. I'm so out of shape, I'll probably end up in hospital.
Speaking of hospitals...I need to have all four of my wisdom teeth removed. No fun. I have my consult in March, and then I probably won't even get an appointment for surgery until late spring...I am not looking forward to it.
Speaking of 'forwards'...I am working on my book! I found a great publishing company that produces devotional books for mothers and I sent them a query letter (basically, an outline of a book I'd like to write for them). They wrote me back the same day and requesting a formal proposal! I'm working on the proposal now. I'm so excited about this process. I hope something comes of it, but even if I don't nail a contract on my first try, I'm learning so much about getting my foot in the door.
Speaking of door...nah, I got nothing for that one.
Caden is full of energy, cracking us up and testing our patience, as usual. He is a great kid and I love the mess out of him. He is very much enjoying Ms. Stacy's 3 year old room and has adjusted quickly to being the littlest one in the class. I love that we have conversations on the ride home from school now.
He is still obsessed with Mickey Mouse, animals, dinosaurs, Christmas music and drumming.
Speaking of drumming....I got my bangs cut. Ok, that was a bad one.
Thanks for reading!
Here's the latest:
Work has actually been pretty busy, which is nice. It's good to be busy because it makes the day go much faster. Speaking of 'fast' er...I wish this fast was over! My positive attitude about how great I feel is long gone. I'm happy to have lost a few pounds, but now I'm bored of rice, beans and water...very much looking forward to Monday.
Speaking of Monday...it's Jay's birthday! He'll be the big 3-1. He is now, officially, in his dirty thirties. I have MANY years until I have to know what that feels like, and I remind him of this on a somewhat regular basis.
Speaking of regular....Jay and I will be beginning a regular, daily fitness routine for the next 3 months called P90X. He ordered the DVD set for his birthday (I guess when you're thirty you get to buy yourself presents?) and we're starting it on Tuesday. We're hoping to be super fit by April. I'm so out of shape, I'll probably end up in hospital.
Speaking of hospitals...I need to have all four of my wisdom teeth removed. No fun. I have my consult in March, and then I probably won't even get an appointment for surgery until late spring...I am not looking forward to it.
Speaking of 'forwards'...I am working on my book! I found a great publishing company that produces devotional books for mothers and I sent them a query letter (basically, an outline of a book I'd like to write for them). They wrote me back the same day and requesting a formal proposal! I'm working on the proposal now. I'm so excited about this process. I hope something comes of it, but even if I don't nail a contract on my first try, I'm learning so much about getting my foot in the door.
Speaking of door...nah, I got nothing for that one.
Caden is full of energy, cracking us up and testing our patience, as usual. He is a great kid and I love the mess out of him. He is very much enjoying Ms. Stacy's 3 year old room and has adjusted quickly to being the littlest one in the class. I love that we have conversations on the ride home from school now.
He is still obsessed with Mickey Mouse, animals, dinosaurs, Christmas music and drumming.
Speaking of drumming....I got my bangs cut. Ok, that was a bad one.
Thanks for reading!
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Monday, January 12, 2009
Transition
Transitions are hard on everyone. Going back to work full-time has been a difficult transition after being home for two years. Finding the time to do laundry, run errands and make a decent dinner has been challenging and seeing Caden for only three hours a day is something I'm not sure I'll ever feel quite right about.
Jay changing fields after many years in the fitness industry has been a transition for him. Finding the time to work out has been hard. He use to be able to exercise whenever he wanted while spending his days in a store filled with fitness equipment but now it's a more difficult thing to fit into an already packed schedule. Going from retail to business-business sales has also been an adjustment for him. Luckily, he's a tough cookie and seems to do well at everything he takes on.
Caden moving to the three year old class has been a transition for him too. He went from being one of the oldest and more advanced kids in his class to the youngest and least mature. Most of his classmates are close to a year older than him, which in toddler time, means a lot. He is expected to sit through circle time in a group of 30+ kids and because some of the learning material is a bit over his head, he's been less than attentive sometimes. He also had 2 'accidents' last week which his teachers attribute to the fact that the classroom change can cause regression in potty training.
I wonder what would happen if we all peed in our pants when things got tough...it's a good thing he's cute....I couldn't get away with that.
At the end of the day, we're all doing just fine. We embrace the changes life throws our way because we lack the choice not to. Change is going to happen, whether we like it or not. The key is how we react to things...how we treat one another in the midst of the stress...how much self control we can exercise in the midst of a situation that we have no control over.
I am learning to give God the glory in spite of my circumstances. Don't get me wrong, my circumstances are pretty darn awesome. Sometimes I sit back and watch my family and think, "Why in the world do I get to be so blessed?"
But in those moments when things don't go my way, when I'm unsure as to where I'm going, when I have no clue about what's going on...during the transitions of my life, the ones I like and the ones I don't...the ones I've chosen and the ones that chose me, I'm learning to be content and trust that God is in all things.
I choose this day to trust that God's got the whole world in His hands...I'm going to change from doubting and worrying to trusting and praising...and that's a transition I'm looking forward to making.
Jay changing fields after many years in the fitness industry has been a transition for him. Finding the time to work out has been hard. He use to be able to exercise whenever he wanted while spending his days in a store filled with fitness equipment but now it's a more difficult thing to fit into an already packed schedule. Going from retail to business-business sales has also been an adjustment for him. Luckily, he's a tough cookie and seems to do well at everything he takes on.
Caden moving to the three year old class has been a transition for him too. He went from being one of the oldest and more advanced kids in his class to the youngest and least mature. Most of his classmates are close to a year older than him, which in toddler time, means a lot. He is expected to sit through circle time in a group of 30+ kids and because some of the learning material is a bit over his head, he's been less than attentive sometimes. He also had 2 'accidents' last week which his teachers attribute to the fact that the classroom change can cause regression in potty training.
I wonder what would happen if we all peed in our pants when things got tough...it's a good thing he's cute....I couldn't get away with that.
At the end of the day, we're all doing just fine. We embrace the changes life throws our way because we lack the choice not to. Change is going to happen, whether we like it or not. The key is how we react to things...how we treat one another in the midst of the stress...how much self control we can exercise in the midst of a situation that we have no control over.
I am learning to give God the glory in spite of my circumstances. Don't get me wrong, my circumstances are pretty darn awesome. Sometimes I sit back and watch my family and think, "Why in the world do I get to be so blessed?"
But in those moments when things don't go my way, when I'm unsure as to where I'm going, when I have no clue about what's going on...during the transitions of my life, the ones I like and the ones I don't...the ones I've chosen and the ones that chose me, I'm learning to be content and trust that God is in all things.
I choose this day to trust that God's got the whole world in His hands...I'm going to change from doubting and worrying to trusting and praising...and that's a transition I'm looking forward to making.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Conviction
I was heavily convicted this morning when sitting in church. It was one of those services where I felt like Pastor Brian was speaking directly to me...which is uncomfortably refreshing. I wiggled in my seat a little, tried not to make eye contact with anyone...but the message got through to me loud and clear.
I don't pray right. I don't come before God's throne in the manner I should. As PB said, I worry and then attach God to the end of it, calling it prayer when it's not. It's just worry.
It's difficult to break this habit right now because time keeps going. Everyday that I sit here with no offers on the house is one day further away from being home with Caden again, and pretty soon he'll be in kindergarten and that window of being home with him while he is little will be closed forever.
As Brian spoke and these thoughts kept rolling through my head, I fought the lump that was growing increasingly larger in my throat...at one point he said something to the effect of there's no such thing as not trusting a little. You either trust God or you don't. Trusting God is not something I thought I would have to work on, but Caden is one area where I stress my face off and have little patience for God to work things out in His time.
I need to work on this or I'm going to miss out on God's greatness and I'm going to get an ulcer.
I'm also the classic 'pray in the car' person. I get up at 5:50, commute 45 minutes with the family, work 9 hours in a cubicle with little privacy, commute 45 minutes back with the fam, try to pacify Caden who is tired and hungry, make dinner, bathe Caden and get him ready for bed, pack lunches, spend some time on the computer, have a 30-60 minute conversation with my husband,and then go to bed to re-gain the energy to do it all over again.
I've become a pop-corn pray-er because I've convinced myself that I just don't have the time...
After hearing the message in the first service, I was meditating on things heavily during the second. We were playing a song and I remember thinking, "God, I don't know how to let this go. I'm running out of time. He keeps getting older and I'm missing it. I'm running out of time to be with him!"
All of a sudden a thought came to my head:
"What about your time with Me?"
Woah! God? Is that You?
Humbled, repenting and challenged to change things, I walked away from this morning exhausted from the hard lessons learned but focused on what needs to be done.
More of Him, less of me.
That means more worship and less everything else. Even less Jay, less Caden, less house-selling, less worry...less of me, More of Him. This will be the focus of my fast.
At the end of Pastor Brian's message he looked at us and said half-smiling, "Do you really think He's not going to come through for you?"
I know He will....now I need to come through for Him.
I don't pray right. I don't come before God's throne in the manner I should. As PB said, I worry and then attach God to the end of it, calling it prayer when it's not. It's just worry.
It's difficult to break this habit right now because time keeps going. Everyday that I sit here with no offers on the house is one day further away from being home with Caden again, and pretty soon he'll be in kindergarten and that window of being home with him while he is little will be closed forever.
As Brian spoke and these thoughts kept rolling through my head, I fought the lump that was growing increasingly larger in my throat...at one point he said something to the effect of there's no such thing as not trusting a little. You either trust God or you don't. Trusting God is not something I thought I would have to work on, but Caden is one area where I stress my face off and have little patience for God to work things out in His time.
I need to work on this or I'm going to miss out on God's greatness and I'm going to get an ulcer.
I'm also the classic 'pray in the car' person. I get up at 5:50, commute 45 minutes with the family, work 9 hours in a cubicle with little privacy, commute 45 minutes back with the fam, try to pacify Caden who is tired and hungry, make dinner, bathe Caden and get him ready for bed, pack lunches, spend some time on the computer, have a 30-60 minute conversation with my husband,and then go to bed to re-gain the energy to do it all over again.
I've become a pop-corn pray-er because I've convinced myself that I just don't have the time...
After hearing the message in the first service, I was meditating on things heavily during the second. We were playing a song and I remember thinking, "God, I don't know how to let this go. I'm running out of time. He keeps getting older and I'm missing it. I'm running out of time to be with him!"
All of a sudden a thought came to my head:
"What about your time with Me?"
Woah! God? Is that You?
Humbled, repenting and challenged to change things, I walked away from this morning exhausted from the hard lessons learned but focused on what needs to be done.
More of Him, less of me.
That means more worship and less everything else. Even less Jay, less Caden, less house-selling, less worry...less of me, More of Him. This will be the focus of my fast.
At the end of Pastor Brian's message he looked at us and said half-smiling, "Do you really think He's not going to come through for you?"
I know He will....now I need to come through for Him.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Day 6
We've been on the Daniel Fast for 6 days and we are starting to see the benefits of eating naturally. Jay hasn't had to use his asthma inhaler since we started! If you know Jay, you know how often he relies on his inhaler throughout the day, so this alone is an awesome result. We've been loosing some weight and having more energy. I feel healthier than I have in a long time and have 0 sugar cravings in the evenings like I use to. I use to loathe water but drink gallons of it now without minding the lack of taste. Physically, it's been a fabulous thing, which makes me feel kind of bad because one of the points of spiritual fasting is self-denial and we feel better than ever before. We've also had to spend more time than we use to shopping for foods and prepping for meals. Checking labels and cooking from scratch takes up a lot of time so I don't feel as though we've had excess time to pray by cutting out foods. Quite the opposite.
The spiritual part of the fast, for me, has been the ability to commit to something before God and stick to it. I know it isn't much, but I believe that through doing this, and doing it to the letter, we are showing our Father that we can be trusted with little and faithful in the times when no one is watching. Also, because we feel better physically, we feel better all around and we've been much more positive in all we do, including prayer. I've been trying very hard to start each morning praising God for who He is and committing the day to Him. I have to catch myself from reminding Him about how badly we need to sell the house and how much I want to stay home with Caden again. When I realize I've gone there I usually apologize for berating him with those same requests over and over instead of just enjoying His presence.
It's difficult to be positive all the time...and it's difficult to have hope about selling this house when it seems like it's impossible...and selling the house = me staying home with Caden so that is sad too. Time keeps on ticking and he keeps getting older and older...but this fast has helped us to have clearer minds and a more positive outlook on what could happen. I'll admit that today I am digging deep to find that positive outlook because I am painfully aware of how hard it's going to be to move this property, but I'm cleaning and organizing in hopes of someone calling tonight for the first time in months...it could happen...
Pastor Brian announced that he would like the church to partake in a 21 day fast starting on Sunday, January 11th through the 31st. The purpose is to focus on praying for our church's future and God's hand on our lives, our church, this city and His purpose for us. We're going to continue with our Daniel Fast until Jay's bday (19th) at which time that will end as planned, but starting tomorrow I am going to fast from something that takes up a whole lot more of my time than eating: Facebook.
I log into facebook at least 10 times a day and I think a lot more time than I even realize gets wasted there. So, every time I feel the urge to check out the FB I'll be reminded to pray.
I have changed my settings so that I won't get email notifications about anything fb related. I will be completely free of it for the rest of the month.
Now I must get back to prepping the house for buyers I haven't heard from yet :)
The spiritual part of the fast, for me, has been the ability to commit to something before God and stick to it. I know it isn't much, but I believe that through doing this, and doing it to the letter, we are showing our Father that we can be trusted with little and faithful in the times when no one is watching. Also, because we feel better physically, we feel better all around and we've been much more positive in all we do, including prayer. I've been trying very hard to start each morning praising God for who He is and committing the day to Him. I have to catch myself from reminding Him about how badly we need to sell the house and how much I want to stay home with Caden again. When I realize I've gone there I usually apologize for berating him with those same requests over and over instead of just enjoying His presence.
It's difficult to be positive all the time...and it's difficult to have hope about selling this house when it seems like it's impossible...and selling the house = me staying home with Caden so that is sad too. Time keeps on ticking and he keeps getting older and older...but this fast has helped us to have clearer minds and a more positive outlook on what could happen. I'll admit that today I am digging deep to find that positive outlook because I am painfully aware of how hard it's going to be to move this property, but I'm cleaning and organizing in hopes of someone calling tonight for the first time in months...it could happen...
Pastor Brian announced that he would like the church to partake in a 21 day fast starting on Sunday, January 11th through the 31st. The purpose is to focus on praying for our church's future and God's hand on our lives, our church, this city and His purpose for us. We're going to continue with our Daniel Fast until Jay's bday (19th) at which time that will end as planned, but starting tomorrow I am going to fast from something that takes up a whole lot more of my time than eating: Facebook.
I log into facebook at least 10 times a day and I think a lot more time than I even realize gets wasted there. So, every time I feel the urge to check out the FB I'll be reminded to pray.
I have changed my settings so that I won't get email notifications about anything fb related. I will be completely free of it for the rest of the month.
Now I must get back to prepping the house for buyers I haven't heard from yet :)
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
Food for Thought
This is an old article, birthed out of the Christmas season in 2005, but I just found it and it spoke to me. Enjoy.
The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary, Sunday, 12/18/05.
"Herewith at this happy time of year, a few confessions from my beating heart:
I have no freaking clue who Nick and Jessica are. I see them on the cover of People and Us constantly when I am buying my dog biscuits and kitty litter. I often ask the checkers at the grocery stores. They never know who Nick and Jessica are either. Who are they? Will it change my life if I know who they are and why they have broken up? Why are they so important? I don't know who Lindsay Lohan is either, and I do not care at all about Tom Cruise's wife.
Am I going to be called before a Senate committee and asked if I am a subversive? Maybe, but I just have no clue who Nick and Jessica are.
If this is what it means to be no longer young. It's not so bad.
Next confession:
I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are: Christmas trees. It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, "Merry Christmas" to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu.
If people want a creche, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.
I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period.
I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution, and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.
Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship Nick and Jessica and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him?
I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too.
But there are a lot of us who are wondering where Nick and Jessica came from and where the America we knew went to.
In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke, it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking.
Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her "How could God let something like this Happen?" (regarding Katrina)
Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said, "I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives.
And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?
In light of recent events...terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found recently) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK.
Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. the Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.
Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said OK.
Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.
Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with "WE REAP WHAT WE SOW."
Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says
Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing.
Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.
Are you laughing?"
The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary, Sunday, 12/18/05.
"Herewith at this happy time of year, a few confessions from my beating heart:
I have no freaking clue who Nick and Jessica are. I see them on the cover of People and Us constantly when I am buying my dog biscuits and kitty litter. I often ask the checkers at the grocery stores. They never know who Nick and Jessica are either. Who are they? Will it change my life if I know who they are and why they have broken up? Why are they so important? I don't know who Lindsay Lohan is either, and I do not care at all about Tom Cruise's wife.
Am I going to be called before a Senate committee and asked if I am a subversive? Maybe, but I just have no clue who Nick and Jessica are.
If this is what it means to be no longer young. It's not so bad.
Next confession:
I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are: Christmas trees. It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, "Merry Christmas" to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu.
If people want a creche, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.
I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period.
I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution, and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.
Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship Nick and Jessica and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him?
I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too.
But there are a lot of us who are wondering where Nick and Jessica came from and where the America we knew went to.
In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke, it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking.
Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her "How could God let something like this Happen?" (regarding Katrina)
Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said, "I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives.
And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?
In light of recent events...terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found recently) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK.
Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. the Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.
Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said OK.
Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.
Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with "WE REAP WHAT WE SOW."
Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says
Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing.
Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.
Are you laughing?"
To be Honest...
The fast is kicking my butt. I don't know how Jesus did this for 40 days and he did it cold turkey!...but then again, he was Jesus.
I think that perhaps having 6 chocolate chip cookies and two bowls of icecream the night before beginning this thing was a bad idea. The sugar crash was unbearable yesterday, as well as my lack of diet Pepsi....I live on diet Pepsi.
We have eliminated junk, sugar, anything processed or made with chemicals or preservatives, anything that comes from an animal (so no meat, dairy, eggs etc.) bread, honey, juice that isn't 100% fruit or vegetable...
So we're living off of fruits, veggies, nuts, whole grain rice and water. We can have whatever seasonings we want to spice things up a bit...but it's been super hard and it hasn't even been 48 hours!
We're going to continue (God willing) with this particular fast until January 19th, when it will be broken to celebrate Jay's birthday. After that it's just plain ol' healthy eating time. We both have some weight loss and fitness goals we're desperately wanting to conquer in 2009. The Daniel Fast is a spiritual and physical way of cleansing out all the built up toxins in our hearts (actual and proverbial) and stomachs.
This is the first time we've ever fasted. We've done cleanses and diets but we've never taken part in a biblically inspired fast before. Our church has had many, but we've never gotten involved, simply from lack of understanding. I've never been taught or sought out information about fasting until now...and I'll be honest, I'm still not 100% clear on it, but from what I read, it's brings positive results to every area of life so we thought, 'Why not?'
I'm not even sure if I'm suppose to talk about fasting when I do it...but I promise I don't do so in a bragging way, I just don't know how not to talk about things...as many of you who read my writings have come to find out :)
We have some things in our lives that we need to commit to prayer, and we're hoping that throughout this 2 week period, we'll do that intently. I've heard that throughout the fast we are suppose to spend the time we would normally use to prepare meals and eat to pray instead. Unfortunately, I feel like the Daniel Fast is actually causing us to spend more time preparing and thinking about food than ever before....preparing fresh food takes a lot more time and energy than popping a Bertolli dinner in a pot for 7 minutes...but I think for me, my prayer time will be during the time I spend exercising.
I HATE exercising, but luckily for me, my workplace has an onsite gym that I can use whenever. I spent about 1.5 hours alone in there yesterday and it's very quiet. Instead of listening to 'pump me up' music, I covered the timer on the treadmill with a book and started reading. 40 minutes passes quickly when you're caught up in a good Jesus book instead of clock watching. I'm hoping that time with God in the gym will make it so that I can't wait to put my sneakers on and spend time in there. If I know anything about God's presence, I'm sure that will be the case.
It's amazing how much food can dictate our lives. We use it to celebrate, mourn, comfort, ease boredom...I sat down New Years Eve and ate cookies like they were going out of style and I wasn't even really tasting them. I was inhaling them! They say that a healthy eating and fitness routine is 10% physical and 90% mental. I am trying (and hoping someday to succeed) in eating to live, not living to eat. I also want my son to see me being active and enjoying life off the couch. Over Christmas break we started walking as a family (fat dog included, whether she likes it or not) and it's been really fun. Caden isn't as crazy when he's out of the house, able to roam free and we have a good time looking at each other and God's nature that surrounds us instead of the TV.
I won't lie, these past two days have proven to be difficult on a fitness front. With the lack of caffeine and the 8-9 hours of work, the last thing we have wanted to do is break a sweat, but we're hoping our bodies acclimate to the changes and the detoxification process will soon bring to fruition a happier, healthier us.
I think that perhaps having 6 chocolate chip cookies and two bowls of icecream the night before beginning this thing was a bad idea. The sugar crash was unbearable yesterday, as well as my lack of diet Pepsi....I live on diet Pepsi.
We have eliminated junk, sugar, anything processed or made with chemicals or preservatives, anything that comes from an animal (so no meat, dairy, eggs etc.) bread, honey, juice that isn't 100% fruit or vegetable...
So we're living off of fruits, veggies, nuts, whole grain rice and water. We can have whatever seasonings we want to spice things up a bit...but it's been super hard and it hasn't even been 48 hours!
We're going to continue (God willing) with this particular fast until January 19th, when it will be broken to celebrate Jay's birthday. After that it's just plain ol' healthy eating time. We both have some weight loss and fitness goals we're desperately wanting to conquer in 2009. The Daniel Fast is a spiritual and physical way of cleansing out all the built up toxins in our hearts (actual and proverbial) and stomachs.
This is the first time we've ever fasted. We've done cleanses and diets but we've never taken part in a biblically inspired fast before. Our church has had many, but we've never gotten involved, simply from lack of understanding. I've never been taught or sought out information about fasting until now...and I'll be honest, I'm still not 100% clear on it, but from what I read, it's brings positive results to every area of life so we thought, 'Why not?'
I'm not even sure if I'm suppose to talk about fasting when I do it...but I promise I don't do so in a bragging way, I just don't know how not to talk about things...as many of you who read my writings have come to find out :)
We have some things in our lives that we need to commit to prayer, and we're hoping that throughout this 2 week period, we'll do that intently. I've heard that throughout the fast we are suppose to spend the time we would normally use to prepare meals and eat to pray instead. Unfortunately, I feel like the Daniel Fast is actually causing us to spend more time preparing and thinking about food than ever before....preparing fresh food takes a lot more time and energy than popping a Bertolli dinner in a pot for 7 minutes...but I think for me, my prayer time will be during the time I spend exercising.
I HATE exercising, but luckily for me, my workplace has an onsite gym that I can use whenever. I spent about 1.5 hours alone in there yesterday and it's very quiet. Instead of listening to 'pump me up' music, I covered the timer on the treadmill with a book and started reading. 40 minutes passes quickly when you're caught up in a good Jesus book instead of clock watching. I'm hoping that time with God in the gym will make it so that I can't wait to put my sneakers on and spend time in there. If I know anything about God's presence, I'm sure that will be the case.
It's amazing how much food can dictate our lives. We use it to celebrate, mourn, comfort, ease boredom...I sat down New Years Eve and ate cookies like they were going out of style and I wasn't even really tasting them. I was inhaling them! They say that a healthy eating and fitness routine is 10% physical and 90% mental. I am trying (and hoping someday to succeed) in eating to live, not living to eat. I also want my son to see me being active and enjoying life off the couch. Over Christmas break we started walking as a family (fat dog included, whether she likes it or not) and it's been really fun. Caden isn't as crazy when he's out of the house, able to roam free and we have a good time looking at each other and God's nature that surrounds us instead of the TV.
I won't lie, these past two days have proven to be difficult on a fitness front. With the lack of caffeine and the 8-9 hours of work, the last thing we have wanted to do is break a sweat, but we're hoping our bodies acclimate to the changes and the detoxification process will soon bring to fruition a happier, healthier us.
Saturday, January 03, 2009
E-I-E-I-O
That's what song I am singing right now. I think if I had a dollar for every time I sang that song this evening I would have the mortgage pretty much covered.
I don't mind though. As long as there is no screaming or whining, I am good.
On January 1, I awakened my husband with a text message after strategically placing his cell phone by his bed. The text message instructed him to get dressed and ready because I was whisking him away on New year adventure. I had packed our bags the day before and Amber was in on my plan, ready and willing to take care of everything, including Caden. When we got in the car I handed him a card explaining that we were on our way to St. Augustine for 1 night and 2 days of fun.
We had a blast.
It's easy to forget how compatible you are with someone when you get caught up in the hum-drum of everyday life. With Caden, work, volunteering, and chores around the house, it's easy to forget that the person I married is my absolute favourite human and I'm beyond blessed to get to spend each day with him. I was reminded of that this weekend. We finish each other's sentences, we laugh hysterically at each other's jokes and listen intently to each other's stories. We're crazy about each other.
It was a great way to start 2009. On Monday, we are beginning the Daniel fast for 2 weeks. We've honestly never fasted before but we're excited about what will come from it physically and spiritually. Our bodies and minds could certainly use the cleanse.
Congratulations to my best friend, Amy and my soon to be best friend in-law, Jon for getting engaged on New Years Eve. This is a union that has been long prayed for even before it began and everyone who loves you guys knows how amazing this news is. Looking forward to the wedding!!! Hopefully there will be no snow in June to screw up my travel plans! ;)
I don't mind though. As long as there is no screaming or whining, I am good.
On January 1, I awakened my husband with a text message after strategically placing his cell phone by his bed. The text message instructed him to get dressed and ready because I was whisking him away on New year adventure. I had packed our bags the day before and Amber was in on my plan, ready and willing to take care of everything, including Caden. When we got in the car I handed him a card explaining that we were on our way to St. Augustine for 1 night and 2 days of fun.
We had a blast.
It's easy to forget how compatible you are with someone when you get caught up in the hum-drum of everyday life. With Caden, work, volunteering, and chores around the house, it's easy to forget that the person I married is my absolute favourite human and I'm beyond blessed to get to spend each day with him. I was reminded of that this weekend. We finish each other's sentences, we laugh hysterically at each other's jokes and listen intently to each other's stories. We're crazy about each other.
It was a great way to start 2009. On Monday, we are beginning the Daniel fast for 2 weeks. We've honestly never fasted before but we're excited about what will come from it physically and spiritually. Our bodies and minds could certainly use the cleanse.
Congratulations to my best friend, Amy and my soon to be best friend in-law, Jon for getting engaged on New Years Eve. This is a union that has been long prayed for even before it began and everyone who loves you guys knows how amazing this news is. Looking forward to the wedding!!! Hopefully there will be no snow in June to screw up my travel plans! ;)
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