It's Midnight

I'm getting to a point where it's very difficult to fall asleep. Maybe it's because we need a new mattress. Maybe it's because I'm a 'night person'. I wish I was a morning person. They seem to get more accomplished.
Thanks to multi-grain bagels, turkey bacon, diet green tea and exercise tension bands, I have lost my holiday weight and am back to where I started prior to December...so of course tonight Jay and I shared a pint of Ben and Jerry's in victory of that. It's an endless cycle. Haha.
Church this morning was good. Tiring, but good. I got Caden up at 6:20 to leave for church and he opened his eyes, stretched and said, "Yay."
I said something entirely different when my alarm went off at 5:15.
We all drove into church. I went and helped set up the stage. Jay and Caden went to the Village Inn for some breakfast. It's become their Sunday ritual. They've become 'regulars'.

My mom is coming in 6 weeks and I can hardly stand the wait. This summer she came and stayed for only 6 days which was too short. We didn't even have time to get sick of eachother! :) I can honestly say that August was the first time I've cried for my Mommy since the 5th grade...and I continued crying for a few days after she had left. It was a difficult parting.
But THIS time she'll be here for more than two weeks! Which is good. Very good. I'm So excited. Did I already say that?

I think Tuesday will be Caden's first day of 'baby school'...if I work up the courage between now and then. I'm petrified. The director suggested I come early, between 6:30 and 7:45 when the little ones are having breakfast. That way I can sit with him while he eats and when he goes off to his classroom I can leave. But I can't help but wonder if it's the right thing to do. What if he thinks I've abandoned him? These people are going to be complete strangers to him...but I know that if I stick around any longer than that I will be a distraction to the other kids and the program. So the director said that I can stay as long as I want and watch him through the classroom window but I don't think I can...cause I know he's going to go crazy when I leave. I've never done this before. Is it right to drop your kid off and just leave even when he doesn't know anyone? It might be...I just have no idea. I keep telling Jay that I am afraid I am going to traumatize him. Jay thinks that leaving him at home for 2 days alone with no food is traumatizing..not bringing him to a place with singing, playing, swings, slides and other children. I suppose he's right. I just have this unrest in me...I'm dreading it. I don't know if it's the kind of feeling that I am suppose to listen to or if it's the kind I am suppose to work past. Everyone seems to think it is the right decision but I don't know. It's Midnight.