"Come they told me pa-rum-pa-pum-pum..."

So I just finished a book that my Father bought me and forced me to read called Cure for the Common Life. I hate to admit it (only because you never want to prove your dad right:) but it's a great read.
I had actually started the book a few months ago and got really into it. Then we moved, it got put in a box and then put back on the book shelf and I forgot all about it until the other day when Dad called and asked, "Did you finish that book yet???"

So last night while Jay insisted on watching another 'Man versus Wild' Marathon, I found the book and finished it. I highly recommend it to anyone who can read.
One chapter really stood out to me about parenting and how if you are open and willing to learn, you can tell from the time your child is very small what his/her passions are and what God has shaped him/her to be just by watching them, listening to them, affirming them and cheering them on.

Lately I've been noticing just how much our upbringing shapes the people that we become. You can really figure someone out if you figure out how they were raised. Kids whose parents weren't affectionate at all often grow up desperately seeking love and attention or they grow up unable to show the love that they feel. Little girls whose dad's walked out on them or only complimented them by saying, "You're so pretty," grow up not trusting men and thinking that all they have to offer is their bodies. Kids whose parents affirmed and praised them grow up to be confident. Kids whose parents force them into a life they are not meant for grow up confused and resentful. Kids whose parents let them quit anything they didn't want to do grow up scared and unmotivated. Kids whose parents modeled Christ grow up with a better understanding of who God is.
Two big things I have learned recently:
1) Hurt people, hurt people.
2) People will view God they way they view their father...this is why it is so hard for people whose fathers walked out on them to believe that God really loves them and that he isn't going anywhere.

I'm learning that there are some things that every child needs.
- Crazy amounts of love, kissing and hugging. Caden is absolutly smothered in kisses everyday. He may be grossed out and eventually embarassed, but at least he knows he is LOVED. I want to ensure that he doesn't have to turn to any girl he can find, drugs, cults or anything else to feel accepted, valued and loved.
- Affirmation. I remember always feeling important and when I did something well I knew my parents were proud of me. My mom's face would light up when I did the smallest thing well and I grew up with a sense of pride in myself and my abilities, not needing constant recognition for a job well done. I think I kind of go overboard with Caden in this department because it seems like he claps for himself anytime he does ANYTHING...it's pretty funny...but it won't be if he keeps doing that for the rest of his life. Hopefully when he's 18 he won't clap violently and squeal everytime he gets the square block in the square hole.
- To be listened to. Your child is different than you and could very well possibly excel at completely different things and have completely different interests than you. That's ok. This means that I need to be prepared if Caden can't carry a tune in a bucket or if he (heaven forbid) loves football. I need to be attentive starting now and try and decifer just what it is God has created Caden to be. When I see it I need to encourage it and foster it even if it's not what I am necessarily crazy about it...like football....but if he;s meant to be a little NFL man I will fake a passion for football till it hurts to cheer him on....oh Lord please don't let it be football....

The truth is, I am already begining to see a passion in my little boy that some might scoff at but I truly see developing in him. My little man can drum! He is passionate about drumming and he's only 16 months old! Wherever we are, anything can be used as drumsticks and everything is a drum. Crayons and a table, sticks and a bench in the park, spoons and a bowl, pens and the floor. He is constantly druming and he is fascinated with watching drummers. The doctor gave him two tongue depressors and was amazed at his rhythm and ability to drum with both hands.
Some might say this is a passing craze, but I think God might have something different to say.

So I encourage anyone who is blessed with a child to bring up, to look at your task as raising a healthy adult. What you do when they are young will shape them when they are older and it's alot easier to do it that way than to try and reverse what is already done. That's why parenting is such a daunting and scary thing...at least to me...because we hold God's vessles in our hands and it's our job to raise them to be the people he wants them to be.

So, do future generations of people a favor and raise up healthy, confident, kind, self sufficient, Christ-fearing children of God who are living out the passions God has given them.