The Right to Pain

I believe that God has laid it upon my heart to grant perspective to anyone who needs it. Or perhaps I am just getting really annoyed with the planet. I look around me and I see a world filled with people who have so much to be thankful for but cling relentlessly to their right to be miserable and angry. It saddens me. It saddens me more when God is blamed for the misery. How dare we blame God for our misfortunes? Have we not an ounce of spiritual maturity, humility or reverence for the only One who has the right to give AND take away?
At some point or another, every human being will experience pain. Pain does not prove the absence of God but instead the need for Him.
Relationship comes with pain. Friends will deceive you, people will disappoint you, wrongful people will set out to hurt you and those you love you will inevitably cause you some kind of pain whether it be intentional or unintentional. Illness will effect every person on the planet whether it be within their body or the body of someone they love. Accidents will happen, age will catch up to you and things will not always be so bright and beautiful...that's life.
Emotional turmoil is unavoidable and yes, you have every right to be angry about it. You have every right to throw a tantrum when you don't get your way, every right to resent the people who have wronged you even though it eats away at your soul while they sleep at night and you don't.
At some point, while you're wallowing in the hurt and despair you so rightfully cling to, you begin to be the one who does the damage. Hurt people, hurt people and they can't fully love others when they are toxic, focusing on their own misfortunes. I am ever so cautious when living life around those who are damaged and not seeking repair...after all, misery loves company...I don't want to join that party.
In the darkness of a world who's population becomes less relational and more entitled with each passing day, I am inspired by individuals who rise above hard times and shine brightly by choosing joy and I believe it comes down to selflessness. When a person surrenders their entitlement to anger in an effort to bless those around them, they are rising above themselves and living God's way and God not only sees that, He blesses it.
The right to anger and bitterness is not a right worth fighting for.
I hope I don't embarrass her, but I feel the need to tell a true story about my father's sister, Rose (commonly referred to as 'Aunt Rose' by my sister and I).
From the time I was about 12 until I turned 16, we all watched Aunt Rose's husband (Uncle Reg) deteriorate slowly from an incurable cancer.
It was a long, hard, brutal, drawn out battle and as a kid it was extremely difficult to watch him fade away like that. We were very close. I remember watching his wife (my aunt) Rose, as she cared for him. I remember her turning away from his hospital bed, looking out the window and crying for only a moment before regaining composure and turning back towards him, not wanting to add to his pain by letting him see hers.
I remember being amazed at what a pillar of strength she was. When he passed away, I remember sitting in the funeral home and watching her. I remember thinking how I wanted to be like her, strong and selfless, lacking self pity. In the midst of great tragedy, she chose joy. On the inside of Uncle Reg's casket the words 'Going Home' were written, with a picture of birds flying. I remember her not liking that at all and saying, "He's not going home, he's already there!" Her faith was astounding. She knew he was in a better, painless place and she was happier for him than she was sad for herself. It was incredible.
A few short months later, she received the news. She had cancer. This woman who had seen the ugly face of cancer take a life she loved now was being told she had it too. You would think this would do a person in, but not her. She came to live with us while she underwent chemotherapy. When her hair started to fall out, she went to the hairdresser and got it all shaved off. I remember her coming home with a bandanna on, ripping it off with a smile and saying, "Ta-da! What do you think of my new hair do!" Any woman knows that loosing her hair wouldn't be funny, but she had to make a choice between embracing self pity or joy and she chose the latter. She knew what she was up against and she new that hair wasn't worth crying about...so she chose to laugh about it.
Chemo was rough, I'm sure. I remember (from my perspective) what it was like for her to go through that, but she remained graceful and elegant. Needless to say, she kicked cancer's butt and is as beautiful a person today as she's ever been, married to a very lucky man and enjoying life with her children and grandchildren. I hope I have those genes in me.
Many of us will not have to face what she faced...every one's story is different but the choices we have to make about living life are kind of the same. Choose joy. Pity is comfortable but it's also miserable and it will destroy every good thing you've got going for you. Joy can reverse the damage and it doesn't just happen, it's chosen.
Instead of blaming God for your problems, turn to Him for the super human joy needed to get through them. He is good, life is not, at least not always.
We are not puppets to God...we are not marionettes, manipulated by strings that dangle from Heaven. We are his children to whom he has given guidelines for living (the bible) and the promise of purpose, not happiness.
Happiness is a choice that is completely up to us.