I'm pretty lonely these days. I am still very much enjoying the excess time with my little boy, but I forgot how lonely and isolating stay-at-home parenting can be. Especially with our new 'one vehicle' situation. There are a few days a week where Caden and I do not have the means to leave the house. In all honesty, I haven't really noticed the loneliness during the day. I'm too active with Caden to focus on the lack of adult conversation...but in the evenings I am eager and needing to talk about everything and anything under the sun. I want to hear every detail about Jay's day, right down to the number of croutons he had on his afternoon salad...completely starved for interaction with someone above 3 feet tall.
Since I'm not as busy with the worship team as I use to be, and we no longer have any neighbours that we know, the sting of loneliness is a bit more intense this time around then it was during my first few years of stay-at-home-mommyness.
Thank goodness for Amber. She has been my saving grace and an answer to prayer. She doesn't live right down the street, but she's here frequently as an amazing support and friend to the entire family.
I'm an extrovert so I need to socialize to be myself. The isolation is nothing I can't and won't handle...I'll get into the swing of things and find a schedule that works for me. I'll re-connect with the small group I started attending but stopped because I wasn't spending enough time with Caden. Now that time with Caden isn't an issue anymore, I can plug back in. I can also use the downtime I have while Caden naps or goes to school to plug away at my book and to jot down other ideas I have for future literature. I'll get use to it...I think the sickness (first with Caden, now with me) has also made the situation more dyer than it will be in the near future. When we both feel better, we'll go for walks, blow bubbles in the yard, pull up weeds and draw a bike track in the drive way with side walk chalk for him to ride around on. I have big plans on the horizon.
Until then, I will rest in God's arms and utilize my annoying cell phone (it cuts off for no reason) to find the companionship I need to get through the day.
I'm blessed beyond measure and I know it. This too shall pass.
2 comments:
I used to feel the same way Kathy. I am at home and have been for 28 years. For 10 years, I worked in a "not for profit" office in my home.
I used to do the same thing to Steve as you do Jay - ask all the questions about his day(sometimes I still do).
I used to ask Steve "which window do you want to replace?" I would get so stir crazy.
Now that our daughter is grown and married - its just the two cats and me home alone.
I've become more content in the past few years. Its truly a God thing.
Enjoy every moment with Caden - the good, bad and ugly. 18 years seems like a long time when you have a child at home but it flys by quicker than you know.
Im willing to drop by to say hi. I don't live that far away.
Thanks Barbara! It's so nice knowing you and Steve are there. Love you both.
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