As President, Caden will provide free pull-ups for all...and not just any pull ups...the ones with the easy open sides!
He will also institute mandatory nap and snack times at all work places and schools across the nation...and he will end the fuel crisis by providing huge, plastic tricycles for everyone.
There will be no more war under Caden's reign, because he will join all nations in the singing of 'if all the raindrops were lemon drops and gum drops' until they forget why they were so angry in the first place.
The abortion rate will plummet to 0% due to a 4-8 year ban on sexual activity...because according to Caden, everyone, regardless of their gender, has a 'bird' thus, making reproduction impossible anyway.
Medical care won't be an issue because Caden will ensure the availability of gummy vitamins and unlimited kisses for boo-boo's. This will create jobs for millions of American mothers, who will be the boo-boo kiss providers. American Fathers will be able to obtain mass employment as super heroes.
Caden's campaign colours will be blue, red and orange..because they are really the only colours he knows/cares about.
He will implement strict policies such as, "we don't hit, we don't bite, we don't pull the cat's tail" which is sure to win him at least the feline vote.
He will fight for the rights of every American citizen because regardless of sex, race, religion, gender, age or economic status, Caden considers everyone he meets to be his 'dend' (friend)
It isn't too late to cast your ballet
CADEN STOCK '08!
1 comment:
he's got my vote!
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