My hopes are up. They shouldn't be, but they are. It is so hard to know whether God has placed something in your life as a miraculous answer or test of faithfulness. If these people write/call us back and want our home and it sells without a problem, it will be nothing short of a miracle. If they don't, honestly, I'll be crushed but still aware of God's hand on the situation. He's got it.
I love my house...I wish, wish, wish I could move it into town...but since we can't, I am SO ready to be back in the city. I am not a country mouse.
When I think of leaving my beautiful kitchen and stellar paint job that fits my style, I am a bit sad...but when I think of being in Tallahassee without having to commute: I am thrilled!
To wake up and go to bed in Tallahassee seems like such a luxury now...I feel lonely and isolated out here away from my friends and not being able to visit Jay at work. His commute has him away from his family an extra 1.5 hours daily. I love having people in my home, but we're too far away for anyone to want to visit regularly...plus balancing volunteering at a mobile church (with set up and tear down), worship team practice, work and wanting the occasional date night in the city...having one car and living 45 minutes away is really, REALLY hard...especially with Caden. He gets dragged around so much. We eat out way more than we should because we're always stuck in town and he spends at least 2 nights a week staying awake much longer than he should because he has to wait on Mom or Dad to finish up whatever they are doing in Tallahassee. Thursday night worship team makes for a very tired and crabby Caden on Thursday night and Friday mornings.
On Sunday mornings I drag my family out of the house at 6:25am so I can be to church for 7 and they get breakfast and kill time until church starts, they wait around for both services and patiently continue waiting while I unhook my instrument and roll a few mic cables before having to throw in the towel and get my exhausted toddler home.
I'm so ready to be back in town. Life will seem like a breeze after this!
I think there is a fine line between having childlike faith and getting your hopes up...people tell you to be expectant of things to come but not to get your hopes up...i don't think you can do both. I've been told to pack and look for a place to live in town because God is going to do something amazing, quickly...I've also been told to be realistic..I'm not sure which advice to take, but my gut tells me God is a good God who will not give me a stone if I ask for bread...so it's official...my hopes are up.
2 comments:
It is my greatest hope that God's plan is to do something great and FAST--HE is an amazing God and can do things we never thought possible. I hope I am not the only friend you wrote about in your blog that told you not to get your hopes up. How depressing...I don't want to be that person. I was just trying to be honest with you from a similar experience, that it is hard not to get excited with every viewing and then terribly disappointed if it doesn't come to a sale. I will work on having more faith in God's faithfulness and jumping in with reckless abandon, sometimes I am too practical. I wish I were the friend that believes, pack your house, He has this one covered. I am praying for you, if that counts! :)
Aw, thanks! And no, you are not a downer at all! You have been very positive throughout everything, helping me see all sides and praying for a miracle to happen on our behalf. There's no greater positivity than that! I was referring to a great mass of opinions and information I've gotten offline or on TV that tell me if I look at the facts, we may not sell anytime soon. Wrestling with what God's will could be is frustrating because you never know whether to be hopeful of what He can do or neutral, waiting on what He decides to do. He can do anything, but sometimes he won't for His own reason...reason I'll look back on and see later.
Thanks for your words and your friendship! I miss you too much!
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