Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Tantrums: A Toddler's Sign of Affection???

I found this article today:

"The bond between you and your child grows stronger in the toddler years, even if he spends much of the time stomping and screaming. In fact, those fits are a testament to your closeness.

Tantrums from toddlers are a bit like lover's quarrels, according to Adam. "They're only capable of that meltdown because they love you so much," she says. In other words, your child couldn't be so disappointed or angry unless he trusted you deeply in the first place.

Even when you're incredibly frustrated with your toddler, don't worry that you'll stop loving him. You have biology on your side. British researchers recently scanned the brains of 20 mothers who were looking at pictures of their own young children. The part of the brain that controls pleasure — the same part involved in romantic love — lit up like a slot machine hitting the jackpot. The part that judges and criticizes, however, practically shut down.

Your toddler has a rich range of emotions. (If you spend 15 minutes with him in a grocery store, there's a good chance you'll see every one of them.) But he still doesn't understand the concept of "love" as you know it. Toddlers often throw the word around loosely: They may say they love you, but they'll also say they love their books or their toys or their third-favorite cereal. (Remember, these are the same people who like to call all four-legged animals "doggies.")

Even so, you don't have to worry about your place in your toddler's universe. He's keenly aware that you're important, and when he gets hurt or wants to cuddle, he doesn't run to his toys or the cereal cupboard. "Children want help from the people they trust the most," says Braungart-Rieker, the University of Notre Dame psychologist."

If this is true...Caden REALLY loves me...A LOT!

1 comment:

The Secret of Happiness said...

Good thoughts. Hard to remember that in the middle of a grocery store meltdown...