Father Awareness Day

I wrote a blog yesterday about how hard it is to be a parent. At some point my child went from being a baby to a kid and I somehow missed that transition. The blog, which I saved as a draft, is a collaboration of random thoughts and revelations I've been having in recent days about how I parent, how I am teaching my child to treat me and what I need to change. It's a bit depressing, so I won't post it today...maybe Monday :)
What I will focus on is that I've gained a deeper appreciation for Fathers this week. I've been getting some eye opening advice lately, mostly from men. Thursday was a hard day for me and the guys at worship team (none of which are dads yet) jumped at the chance to give me parenting advice, and their advice opened my eyes and helped me in a huge way.
At work on Friday I began talking to a co-worker of mine who has an 8 year old daughter and he was relating to my problems by saying, 'My wife goes through the same thing.'
More and more fathers heard us in passing and joined in on the conversation. At one point I had about 6 men I hardly know giving me parenting advice and honestly, it was way better than any mom's forum or lame-o, new-age parenting website I've found.
I'm not knocking moms...no one knows more about being a mom than a mom, but it dawned on me...Fathers are awesome!
My husband is an awesome father and the more time he spends with Caden, the more I want to parent like him. Parenting seems to come so much more naturally to him then it does to me and he is so much wiser and instinctual than I am. He doesn't play 'duck duck goose' or finger paint, but he seems to hold the perfect balance of love, respect, boundaries, freedom and discipline. I had a great mom so I assumed I'd be one but I'm figuring out that it takes alot of trial, error, tears and research to learn how to be a good mom. Sometimes I think if I were more like Jay I wouldn't have to work as hard...because he is SO good at this. I'm blessed to have him. So is Caden.
Jay's step dad is another amazing person. He married my mother-in-law when Jay was just a tiny child but he stepped in and took on the roll of father without thinking twice. He didn't have to do that, but he chose to and I am eternally grateful for him. It isn't blood or genes that makes a man a Dad...it's his heart...and when a 20 something year old man can walk into a young boys life and take on the most important role in it, that kind of love and courage has to be recognized. Thank you Bob for providing love, stability and guidance for Jay. He is a good man and you should be proud of being a part of that.
I've written many letters of dedication to my father, who I'm sure has printed them out and highlighted his favourite portions :) but I'm sitting here at a complete loss of what to write for him because my words can't do my heart justice. When I think about my father I become very emotional which is not something I like to admit or show...but i'd be lying if I said I didn't have tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat right now....because I miss him alot...because I can't express how thankful I am for his example any other way. I've never met or known of anyone with such a heart, passion and understanding of God and Christ-likeness. Those who know him, trust him, completely. Those who have met him are better for it. When I think of the person I want to be for my Son and for my God I think of my Dad. I wish I had as much passion and commitment to the word in my whole heart as my dad does in his little finger. I often think about how much better the planet would be if it were filled with people like him. People who wake at 5am to pray fervently and honestly every morning. People who do the right thing even when it's not popular. People who teach themselves just in an effort to be better people...he literally studies for hours everyday for the soul purpose of learning and changing and growing.
Most parents get to watch their children grow up and transform but I, as my father's child, have also had the opportunity to watch him grow and change and develop into a deeper, stronger more balanced human being and it's really incredible. The man my father was 25 years ago is vastly different than the man he was 5 years later. And the man who fathered me in my childhood years is vastly different from the man he is today...constantly evolving and changing and bettering himself through self-discipline and hard work. If I could only be like him...i'd be in good shape. This last visit home was one of the best times I've ever had with my dad because we just hung out like friends. We went on a whale watching boat tour (minus the whales), we played with Caden together, we made great memories together...it was wonderful, and I know next time will be even better.
My dad and I are alot alike. We both have puppy dog eyes, we both love sweets, we are both naturally musical and we're ridiculously good-looking (wink!). Another area where we are the same is we both have very sensitive spirits...so Dad, I'm going to say this one time, publicly for all to read and all to see:
You did a great job. You have NOTHING to be sorry for and you have nothing to regret. Melissa and I are strong women because of, not in spite of, your example. You done good.
So as much as we women mock the men around us...as much as TV, movies and magazines make them out to be senseless losers with one thing on the brain, they aren't. They are strong, they are good husbands, fathers and people. They may not brush their kids teeth but they care about the men and women they will become, and I think they might even have a better handle on things then we do half the time....at least that's the case with me :) Thanks guys.
Happy Father's Day.