People

I've been wanting to write about this subject for a while, but in an effort to not isolate anyone or on the other hand, write too cryptically, I have refrained from doing so. I think I've come to a place where I can articulate things well enough to write something worth reading...who knows...
I'm continuously learning a lot about how people tick as I get older and meet new individuals. Like my Father, I am quite interested in the workings of the human brain and am fascinated mostly by the effect a person's relationship with his/her parent has on who they become and how they then impact the planet. It fascinates and equally freaks me out because I have one of those little adults to raise...
I am by far not a perfect parent and this mommy thing has been a challenge for me since I never pictured myself as one, but luckily, the love I have for Caden makes being his Mom a privilege, not to be taken lightly.
Something I want to instill in Caden is the ability to be self-less. I want him to be a good friend. I want him to think of others before himself. I know that if he remains an only child, this may be difficult for him to grasp. I pray about it because if he has no siblings, I want him to have deep, real, family-like friendships with people he trusts and who can trust him.
Jay and I also want very much to break the mentality of entitlement that has saturated the current generation of children and teens, so that Caden doesn't have that type of attitude.
Already, we are teaching him that he lives in 'our' house, rides in 'our' car, watches 'our' TV and works for his money. That may sound cruel to say to a 3 year old, but we do so in a loving tone and feel it's necessary, particularly when he walks around like he owns the place. Caden does chores like helping me with laundry and dinner, making his bed and cleaning his room and he earns penny's for them (which he thinks are like $20.00 bills) if he does them with a good attitude and listens the first time he's asked.
We find a great deal of love and purpose in consistent discipline and I had no clue how difficult the idea of consistency would be, but I can say honestly that if there is one person on this planet more stubborn than Caden, it's Caden's mom. He doesn't win when he acts like a brat and he wins big time when he earns it through good behavior, hard work and self discipline.
It's hard in this culture to raise a child with self discipline. The western world has become very passive-aggressive when it comes to parenting and it scares me that in spite of my efforts, Caden may still become like some of his spoiled peers. I often think of how wonderful it would be to raise him in a tiny village in Africa doing missionary work, far from this culture...not worrying about the damaging effects of idolizing celebrities and possessions, the constant barrage of sexual ads on TV for hamburgers and video games, and crazy peers who are confused, overly emotional, unstable and dangerous to themselves and others because they are the product of 'new age' parenting styles, that teach kids to be anti-authority, anti-discipline and anti-structure.....it's happening. Look around....
But then I think about how many critters there are in the villages of Africa and the pros of hot water, A/C and a comfy, critter-less bed ring loudly in my ears ;).
Instead, I find myself recognizing that Caden is God's, not mine (thank goodness!) and that what we teach him at home will make some difference. At least, when he's a man and he makes his own choices, he can be held accountable for them, knowing the difference between right and wrong.
I know that every parent screws up their kids to some degree and I will be no exception...I just hope that when my job is done and I can stop being teacher, disciplinarian, guardian and protector that I can just be 'friend', and that he will be a good man, who loves Christ, works hard, loves his family and thanks me for doing an OK job.