Last night Jay, Caden and I had the upsetting privelege of having 'the last supper' (if I may be so morbid:) with our dear friends, Dave and Lynne. Early this morning they left on a God inspired adventure for Salt Lake City, Utah. Anyone who has heard their story knows that this is without a doubt a Godly move for them to make...but it doesn't change the fact that I'm writing this with a lump in my throat and a pit in my stomach, missing them terribly and wishing they didn't have to go.
Dave, Lynne, Georgia and Bailey became more than just friends to our family...they became apart of our family. I have never felt more connected or more understood by anyone on so many levels. No matter what I was dealing with, Lynne always understood from experience. Being a stay at home mom, being far from home, the financial struggles of a one income household, wanting desperatly to sell a house in Crawfordville...I literally mean on every level, Lynne could look at me compassionately and say, 'I completely understand.'
When they lived in Crawfordville, it was constantly comforting knowing that they were just down the road. They are the kind of friends whose home is always open. No need to call ahead or ask, just come on over and you'll be fed and entertained by their graciousness. Georgia's incredible heart for children has been a blessing to Caden and myself, as she has spent many days and evenings watching him and loving on him. I never had to worry when Caden would stay with the Phillip's family, because I knew he was in tender, caring hands.
I know Georgia and Bailey will do remarkably well in their new home. They are going to form incredible relationships with new friends while maintaining the deep, rooted relationships with their friends here in Tallahassee. I don't worry about them...I'm excited for them.
In the same way, Dave and Lynne have amazing encounters waiting in Utah for them. God perfectly knit this together and gave them many directional signs, telling them this is His plan...which means there is greatness in store for these great people.
Saying good-bye was rough. We all did a marvelous job of holding it together although driving home we were a bit deflated by the whole thing. We drove in silence for a while because we were both fighting back the tears, then Jay said, "I feel like I just got punched in the stomach."
I knew exactly what he meant because I was feeling it (and still am feeling it) too.
So in the midst of my hope and excitement for them is an overlying sadness because I will miss my family while they are away.
Dave, Lynne, Georgia and Bailey, (or in the words of Caden: Doof, Nin, Jaja and Baydee),
Thank you for being who you are and for being our family. We have found in you something very rare to find outside of flesh and blood relationships. We trust you. We connect with you. We love you.
-Jason, Kathy and Caden
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Structure
One thing that I lack big time in my life is structure. I am a pretty free-spirited, unstructured kind of girl...pretty low maintenance and easy going. Since I am now the mother of a child who needs structure, is very high maintenance and not as easy going when left to his own devices, I am needing to shift my thinking.
Since our new routine begins on Monday, I am actually writing out a schedule of what our days will look like when I work, when I'm home, when Daddy's off and when I play on Sundays. I'm stepping back from the worship team and am going to play every other week for right now because I have too much going on in my life and it is the only place where I have flexibility. Hopefully when the house sells I can come back full-time cause we'll be in town and transportation won't be as much of an issue. I know I'll miss it...but I'm slowly burning out and need a breather
Back to the schedule, so far, so GREAT! I feel so much more in control knowing there is a method to all this madness! And all this time I was wondering what to do about Caden when it was ME that needed a change.
I will spend all day on Thursdays and Saturdays alone with Caden and right now we have a 7:00am-7:30pm schedule, broken (for the most part) into time slots of 30 minutes or more. There is daddy time, music time, room time, free play time, mommy structured playtime, nap time, snack time, meal time, tv time (yes, we're going to keep the TV off most of the day!!!) outside planned activities (like the library, the store, the playground and play dates), dinner time, bath time, story time and bed time! A full day of structured fun.
I've waited much too long to implement this type of thing for fear of the schedule running my life...but now that I've created it and am implementing it, it's not running my life, it's aiding my life and making it easier.
Jay will be with Caden from 8-5:30 on Tuesdays which is great cause they'll get to have some one on one time. We're not sure exactly when Caden will ever see his parents together, but hopefully life will bring us to a point where we have more time to spend together...for right now, we're working with what we've got and we're finding that we've got a lot!
Since our new routine begins on Monday, I am actually writing out a schedule of what our days will look like when I work, when I'm home, when Daddy's off and when I play on Sundays. I'm stepping back from the worship team and am going to play every other week for right now because I have too much going on in my life and it is the only place where I have flexibility. Hopefully when the house sells I can come back full-time cause we'll be in town and transportation won't be as much of an issue. I know I'll miss it...but I'm slowly burning out and need a breather
Back to the schedule, so far, so GREAT! I feel so much more in control knowing there is a method to all this madness! And all this time I was wondering what to do about Caden when it was ME that needed a change.
I will spend all day on Thursdays and Saturdays alone with Caden and right now we have a 7:00am-7:30pm schedule, broken (for the most part) into time slots of 30 minutes or more. There is daddy time, music time, room time, free play time, mommy structured playtime, nap time, snack time, meal time, tv time (yes, we're going to keep the TV off most of the day!!!) outside planned activities (like the library, the store, the playground and play dates), dinner time, bath time, story time and bed time! A full day of structured fun.
I've waited much too long to implement this type of thing for fear of the schedule running my life...but now that I've created it and am implementing it, it's not running my life, it's aiding my life and making it easier.
Jay will be with Caden from 8-5:30 on Tuesdays which is great cause they'll get to have some one on one time. We're not sure exactly when Caden will ever see his parents together, but hopefully life will bring us to a point where we have more time to spend together...for right now, we're working with what we've got and we're finding that we've got a lot!
Friday, July 25, 2008
Moving Up in the World
Literally...with my new work responsibilities I have moved from a cubicle all alone downstairs to a nicer cubicle upstairs surrounded by other people! This is good for socializing, but bad for blogging...it's not stopping me right now though because my job doesn't officially start till Monday. :)
Life has been whirling and swirling around our heads this week. With the busyness of travelling mixed with the busyness of our crazy lives, I think I'm beginning to burn out a little bit. I am not necessarily happy about taking on this new position. It is souly for the purpose of helping us get where we need to be financially so we can be freer than we are now. I have alot of guilt in my belly about only seeing Caden on Thursdays, Saturdays and every other Sunday (sounds like custody rights!) but I know he'll spend Tuesdays with Daddy and while he's at school God's arms of protection will be around him. He does well at school...i just miss him, and I want to be with him as much as possible especially while he is young and in the prime stages for being trained in the ways he should live. I want us to be his primary influence. I know God has this, I'm just a bit anxious about the whole thing. I think guilt is something the devil uses on Moms to keep us off task. I'm sitting here doing a good thing for my family by working and trying to accommodate everything and everyone and all I feel is guilty about not being with Caden. When I didn't work I felt guilty about not contributing financially.
Some days I feel like this job was given to me by God to help us out, cause for a full time employee I have great benefits and flexibility...other times I wonder if he dangled it in front of my face and said, "You can go back to work, but at what cost?"
I wish he would just beam down like on Star Trek and tell me what's right and wrong. I've made so many dumb choices based on what I thought God was telling me...you'd think I'd understand his voice by now...maybe mine is so loud that it doesn't give his a chance to speak.
It's hard to hear whispers in the midst of screaming. Like when life just punches you in the face. Yesterday someone backed into our car and damaged it while I was getting groceries. I came out to find a big dent, cracked plastic underneath the car and long, black scratches up the right side...with no one to be found. They just hit it and took off.
So now we have to pay our high deductible to fix a problem we didn't cause. WHAM! Punch in the face. Thanks life.
So now we have a damaged motorcycle and a damaged car because of thieves and cowards we've never met...and we're out hundreds of dollars because of it meaning the dog can't go to the vet, again. WHAM! Punch in the face for us and our dog.
This is why I don't believe in a prosperity gospel...often times all tithing seems to do is cause you to have to pull from savings to cover your bills, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't do it...It just means we shouldn't expect cash back rewards. In fact, things may get rougher because we're sacrificing..and sacrifice hurts, but for good purpose.
I think I'm just in one of those funks where I am fully aware of the presence of God but am a little bit irritated by where He's going with all of this...what lesson am I suppose to be learning that I'm not getting...maybe I need to stop worrying about everything? Maybe we need to be even better with our money so the punches feel more like pinches? Maybe we need to stop operating motor vehicles?
Who knows. Ugh. All in all I'm blessed, loved and content...can't complain about that!
Life has been whirling and swirling around our heads this week. With the busyness of travelling mixed with the busyness of our crazy lives, I think I'm beginning to burn out a little bit. I am not necessarily happy about taking on this new position. It is souly for the purpose of helping us get where we need to be financially so we can be freer than we are now. I have alot of guilt in my belly about only seeing Caden on Thursdays, Saturdays and every other Sunday (sounds like custody rights!) but I know he'll spend Tuesdays with Daddy and while he's at school God's arms of protection will be around him. He does well at school...i just miss him, and I want to be with him as much as possible especially while he is young and in the prime stages for being trained in the ways he should live. I want us to be his primary influence. I know God has this, I'm just a bit anxious about the whole thing. I think guilt is something the devil uses on Moms to keep us off task. I'm sitting here doing a good thing for my family by working and trying to accommodate everything and everyone and all I feel is guilty about not being with Caden. When I didn't work I felt guilty about not contributing financially.
Some days I feel like this job was given to me by God to help us out, cause for a full time employee I have great benefits and flexibility...other times I wonder if he dangled it in front of my face and said, "You can go back to work, but at what cost?"
I wish he would just beam down like on Star Trek and tell me what's right and wrong. I've made so many dumb choices based on what I thought God was telling me...you'd think I'd understand his voice by now...maybe mine is so loud that it doesn't give his a chance to speak.
It's hard to hear whispers in the midst of screaming. Like when life just punches you in the face. Yesterday someone backed into our car and damaged it while I was getting groceries. I came out to find a big dent, cracked plastic underneath the car and long, black scratches up the right side...with no one to be found. They just hit it and took off.
So now we have to pay our high deductible to fix a problem we didn't cause. WHAM! Punch in the face. Thanks life.
So now we have a damaged motorcycle and a damaged car because of thieves and cowards we've never met...and we're out hundreds of dollars because of it meaning the dog can't go to the vet, again. WHAM! Punch in the face for us and our dog.
This is why I don't believe in a prosperity gospel...often times all tithing seems to do is cause you to have to pull from savings to cover your bills, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't do it...It just means we shouldn't expect cash back rewards. In fact, things may get rougher because we're sacrificing..and sacrifice hurts, but for good purpose.
I think I'm just in one of those funks where I am fully aware of the presence of God but am a little bit irritated by where He's going with all of this...what lesson am I suppose to be learning that I'm not getting...maybe I need to stop worrying about everything? Maybe we need to be even better with our money so the punches feel more like pinches? Maybe we need to stop operating motor vehicles?
Who knows. Ugh. All in all I'm blessed, loved and content...can't complain about that!
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
NY
"It was too short."
That's what most people say when you ask them about their time off...in this case, it's true. Our trip to NY was fabulous, but much too short...we look forward to a time when we can go for longer.
Caden had a great time with his 'Ampa' and 'Amma'. He was very well behaved and did really well on the demanding travel days.
I really enjoyed time with the in-laws and loved having several days in a row with Jay and Caden...this rarely happens so when we get it, we soak it up.
On the way home we were able to see Des and Kristy which was a huge blessing. We miss everyone who isn't close to us but love it when we get to see eachother.
Good times..too short, but good times.
Friday, July 18, 2008
Needing a Break
Yesterday I worked all day in heels and a dress, I pick Caden up at school and we headed home. When I get home, I find that the back door is wide open! First, I was freaked out about robbers, but then I saw the handle had gotten stuck when Jay let the dog out in the morning and he didn't lock the dead bolt when he let her back in. Luckily, no animals ran away!
I look up and there is a giant wasp flying around the living room. Anyone who knows me knows that I have a huge phobia of insects...especially flying ones...even butterflies freak me out.
So I panic, grab Caden, forget his shoes, wipes and cup and bolt out the door to the car (after closing the back door of course).
I decide now is a good time to go to Walmart and get an oil change. I call Jay (who still won't be home for 3 hours) and tell him my plight.
Caden and I go to Walmart, give them the car to change the oil (the woman who took the keys said Caden looked like baby Brad Pitt) and we head to Subway for supper. I had promised myself I wouldn't eat out this week but this situation called for it.
We order food and go to pay for it and my bank card was not in my wallet...
Luckily, I had enough cash for food, but not for the oil change...
I call family dollar where i bought bubbles for Caden earlier, and they told me i had left it there and that they would hold it till Jay could pick it up.
Meanwhile, Jay's still got 2.5 hours left at work and a 45 minute commute back to C-ville.
I'm still in heels, Caden has no shoes...I start getting really, really sad.
So Caden and I eat, he makes me laugh and calms me a little bit, then I pick him up and head back to the car section to see if they'll take Jay's card over the phone. They won't. the cahsier handed me my keys before she knew I couldn't pay then she actually snatched them back!
I told them Jay would be by to pay and we would just have to wait....
I call Jay and he decides to leave a bit early to rescue me...so Caden and I proceed to walk around the Walmart toy department (I, in heels and he, barefoot) for over an hour till Daddy comes to the rescue.
Caden was SUCH a good boy. He made the situation so much better. He even didn't have a fit when he saw the big bin of rubber balls...he was sad that we couldn't buy the sponge bob bicycle helmet though...
We get home and Jay goes in first to do some serious bug killing. Caden and I come in a few minutes later and I put him in the tub...3 minutes later he stands up and says, "Mama, YUCK!" and points down....HE HAD POOPED IN THE TUB!
He has only ever done this once, when he was 6 months old and we were in Newfoundland...I couldn't believe it. Perfect end to a perfect afternoon!
Today my back is killing me from all the heel walking and Caden holding and I still have a million things to do before we leave tomorrow...
All that to say, I'm excited about our little vacation. I need it, BAD!
I look up and there is a giant wasp flying around the living room. Anyone who knows me knows that I have a huge phobia of insects...especially flying ones...even butterflies freak me out.
So I panic, grab Caden, forget his shoes, wipes and cup and bolt out the door to the car (after closing the back door of course).
I decide now is a good time to go to Walmart and get an oil change. I call Jay (who still won't be home for 3 hours) and tell him my plight.
Caden and I go to Walmart, give them the car to change the oil (the woman who took the keys said Caden looked like baby Brad Pitt) and we head to Subway for supper. I had promised myself I wouldn't eat out this week but this situation called for it.
We order food and go to pay for it and my bank card was not in my wallet...
Luckily, I had enough cash for food, but not for the oil change...
I call family dollar where i bought bubbles for Caden earlier, and they told me i had left it there and that they would hold it till Jay could pick it up.
Meanwhile, Jay's still got 2.5 hours left at work and a 45 minute commute back to C-ville.
I'm still in heels, Caden has no shoes...I start getting really, really sad.
So Caden and I eat, he makes me laugh and calms me a little bit, then I pick him up and head back to the car section to see if they'll take Jay's card over the phone. They won't. the cahsier handed me my keys before she knew I couldn't pay then she actually snatched them back!
I told them Jay would be by to pay and we would just have to wait....
I call Jay and he decides to leave a bit early to rescue me...so Caden and I proceed to walk around the Walmart toy department (I, in heels and he, barefoot) for over an hour till Daddy comes to the rescue.
Caden was SUCH a good boy. He made the situation so much better. He even didn't have a fit when he saw the big bin of rubber balls...he was sad that we couldn't buy the sponge bob bicycle helmet though...
We get home and Jay goes in first to do some serious bug killing. Caden and I come in a few minutes later and I put him in the tub...3 minutes later he stands up and says, "Mama, YUCK!" and points down....HE HAD POOPED IN THE TUB!
He has only ever done this once, when he was 6 months old and we were in Newfoundland...I couldn't believe it. Perfect end to a perfect afternoon!
Today my back is killing me from all the heel walking and Caden holding and I still have a million things to do before we leave tomorrow...
All that to say, I'm excited about our little vacation. I need it, BAD!
Thursday, July 17, 2008
I Miss Caden
Weird, when I spend so much time with the little guy, but on work days, I miss him very much. I know that working and getting a mental break from toddlerhood has made me much better for him when we're together. Full-time motherhood is not for the faint of heart...it's tough and I marvel at women who do it past babyhood, especially with multiple kids. Having a job outside of home gives me a little break to be better for the main thing, my family. I know Caden loves school, because he runs in with a giant smile, ready to play on the playground and make crafts with his friends....but yesterday was the first time since March that I got a little teary eyed when I drove away, meanwhile he was partyin it up on the slide, waving to me as I drove off, without a care in the world.
I think I'm suddenly keenly aware of how fast life is going...I am trying to soak up every beautiful moment and desperately want to push 'pause' most days...he is already so big and independent...far from the baby days...he's a big kid now and since he may be our only child, it's hard to see those stages pass.
I had a meeting with my boss today about working more hours and getting benefits...it went well. I'll be taking on some new hours and new responsibilties in the coming weeks making me full-time with an incredible benefits package...this will be great for the finances...my job will still offer me the flexibility to work from home 1-2 days a week so with Jay's weekday off and my work from home day(s), Caden will still only spend a few days a week in school. On top of that, I just discovered that an awesome woman my age who volunteers with the kids at my church, lives in Crawfordville! A serious answer to prayer. I have been wanting/needing someone local that I know and can trust, who loves kids and can help me with Caden but mostly just keep me sane!...I've been praying for the house to sell because of my lonliness and isolation in C-ville and I feel as though God may have said, "I'll take care of things in my time. Meanwhile, this should help."
Amber! I'm so excited about you being my neighbour!
She has also volunteered to help out with our animals while we're gone to NY this weekend. I am so excited to see the in-laws. I love seeing Caden with the extended family because those moments are few and precious. Jay's Dad will be turning the big ___ on Monday so we're blessed to be there for the celebration :)
Don't worry Bob, your 51 year old secret is safe with me....WOOPS! :)
I'm at bit concerned about Caden sleeping well, given that he has been a terrible sleeper for the past week (ever since we put a baby gate across his door to stop him from coming out of his room at 5am and drumming in the playroom) he has been protesting via screaming at the gate...last night he woke up at 1am to get some time in protesting, before returning to his bed and getting up again at 6:20 to continue the protest. The rule is we don't hear him till 7...or at least we need to make him think we don't hear him...really, we're lying in bed stuffing cotton balls in our ears trying desperately to get back to sleep...I'm hoping he'll be so exhausted from all the family fun that he'll sleep 12.5 hours everynight without interruption. Wishful thinking? Either way it's going to be fun. I am getting more and more excited as the days draw near.
Jay is feeling better after a bout of sickness and having a spot burned off of his ear...it looks like someone literally put his ear on the stove and held it there...or like someone drew a big spot on it with a sharpie...or he kind of looks like a dalmation...he loves it when I compare it to various things. :)
So to sum up: I have a great, flexible job that will soon have benefits, I have an burned-ear husband who is incredible and we're going to see his family in less than 48 hours (wahoo!), God has given me a C-ville friend who already knows and loves my kid, and although he likes to party all night, Caden is an amazing little boy with a big heart and when we're apart, I miss him.
I think I'm suddenly keenly aware of how fast life is going...I am trying to soak up every beautiful moment and desperately want to push 'pause' most days...he is already so big and independent...far from the baby days...he's a big kid now and since he may be our only child, it's hard to see those stages pass.
I had a meeting with my boss today about working more hours and getting benefits...it went well. I'll be taking on some new hours and new responsibilties in the coming weeks making me full-time with an incredible benefits package...this will be great for the finances...my job will still offer me the flexibility to work from home 1-2 days a week so with Jay's weekday off and my work from home day(s), Caden will still only spend a few days a week in school. On top of that, I just discovered that an awesome woman my age who volunteers with the kids at my church, lives in Crawfordville! A serious answer to prayer. I have been wanting/needing someone local that I know and can trust, who loves kids and can help me with Caden but mostly just keep me sane!...I've been praying for the house to sell because of my lonliness and isolation in C-ville and I feel as though God may have said, "I'll take care of things in my time. Meanwhile, this should help."
Amber! I'm so excited about you being my neighbour!
She has also volunteered to help out with our animals while we're gone to NY this weekend. I am so excited to see the in-laws. I love seeing Caden with the extended family because those moments are few and precious. Jay's Dad will be turning the big ___ on Monday so we're blessed to be there for the celebration :)
Don't worry Bob, your 51 year old secret is safe with me....WOOPS! :)
I'm at bit concerned about Caden sleeping well, given that he has been a terrible sleeper for the past week (ever since we put a baby gate across his door to stop him from coming out of his room at 5am and drumming in the playroom) he has been protesting via screaming at the gate...last night he woke up at 1am to get some time in protesting, before returning to his bed and getting up again at 6:20 to continue the protest. The rule is we don't hear him till 7...or at least we need to make him think we don't hear him...really, we're lying in bed stuffing cotton balls in our ears trying desperately to get back to sleep...I'm hoping he'll be so exhausted from all the family fun that he'll sleep 12.5 hours everynight without interruption. Wishful thinking? Either way it's going to be fun. I am getting more and more excited as the days draw near.
Jay is feeling better after a bout of sickness and having a spot burned off of his ear...it looks like someone literally put his ear on the stove and held it there...or like someone drew a big spot on it with a sharpie...or he kind of looks like a dalmation...he loves it when I compare it to various things. :)
So to sum up: I have a great, flexible job that will soon have benefits, I have an burned-ear husband who is incredible and we're going to see his family in less than 48 hours (wahoo!), God has given me a C-ville friend who already knows and loves my kid, and although he likes to party all night, Caden is an amazing little boy with a big heart and when we're apart, I miss him.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Tantrums: A Toddler's Sign of Affection???
I found this article today:
"The bond between you and your child grows stronger in the toddler years, even if he spends much of the time stomping and screaming. In fact, those fits are a testament to your closeness.
Tantrums from toddlers are a bit like lover's quarrels, according to Adam. "They're only capable of that meltdown because they love you so much," she says. In other words, your child couldn't be so disappointed or angry unless he trusted you deeply in the first place.
Even when you're incredibly frustrated with your toddler, don't worry that you'll stop loving him. You have biology on your side. British researchers recently scanned the brains of 20 mothers who were looking at pictures of their own young children. The part of the brain that controls pleasure — the same part involved in romantic love — lit up like a slot machine hitting the jackpot. The part that judges and criticizes, however, practically shut down.
Your toddler has a rich range of emotions. (If you spend 15 minutes with him in a grocery store, there's a good chance you'll see every one of them.) But he still doesn't understand the concept of "love" as you know it. Toddlers often throw the word around loosely: They may say they love you, but they'll also say they love their books or their toys or their third-favorite cereal. (Remember, these are the same people who like to call all four-legged animals "doggies.")
Even so, you don't have to worry about your place in your toddler's universe. He's keenly aware that you're important, and when he gets hurt or wants to cuddle, he doesn't run to his toys or the cereal cupboard. "Children want help from the people they trust the most," says Braungart-Rieker, the University of Notre Dame psychologist."
If this is true...Caden REALLY loves me...A LOT!
"The bond between you and your child grows stronger in the toddler years, even if he spends much of the time stomping and screaming. In fact, those fits are a testament to your closeness.
Tantrums from toddlers are a bit like lover's quarrels, according to Adam. "They're only capable of that meltdown because they love you so much," she says. In other words, your child couldn't be so disappointed or angry unless he trusted you deeply in the first place.
Even when you're incredibly frustrated with your toddler, don't worry that you'll stop loving him. You have biology on your side. British researchers recently scanned the brains of 20 mothers who were looking at pictures of their own young children. The part of the brain that controls pleasure — the same part involved in romantic love — lit up like a slot machine hitting the jackpot. The part that judges and criticizes, however, practically shut down.
Your toddler has a rich range of emotions. (If you spend 15 minutes with him in a grocery store, there's a good chance you'll see every one of them.) But he still doesn't understand the concept of "love" as you know it. Toddlers often throw the word around loosely: They may say they love you, but they'll also say they love their books or their toys or their third-favorite cereal. (Remember, these are the same people who like to call all four-legged animals "doggies.")
Even so, you don't have to worry about your place in your toddler's universe. He's keenly aware that you're important, and when he gets hurt or wants to cuddle, he doesn't run to his toys or the cereal cupboard. "Children want help from the people they trust the most," says Braungart-Rieker, the University of Notre Dame psychologist."
If this is true...Caden REALLY loves me...A LOT!
Happy Birthday Friends!
This time of year is birthday madness for some of my Best Friends:
Happy 25th Birthday tomorrow, AMY!
Happy 25th Birthday tomorrow, Jac!
Happy 29th+ Birthday today, Julie! :)
Happy 24th Birthday today, Lance!
Happy 25th Birthday tomorrow, AMY!
Happy 25th Birthday tomorrow, Jac!
Happy 29th+ Birthday today, Julie! :)
Happy 24th Birthday today, Lance!
Sunday, July 13, 2008
High Hopes
My hopes are up. They shouldn't be, but they are. It is so hard to know whether God has placed something in your life as a miraculous answer or test of faithfulness. If these people write/call us back and want our home and it sells without a problem, it will be nothing short of a miracle. If they don't, honestly, I'll be crushed but still aware of God's hand on the situation. He's got it.
I love my house...I wish, wish, wish I could move it into town...but since we can't, I am SO ready to be back in the city. I am not a country mouse.
When I think of leaving my beautiful kitchen and stellar paint job that fits my style, I am a bit sad...but when I think of being in Tallahassee without having to commute: I am thrilled!
To wake up and go to bed in Tallahassee seems like such a luxury now...I feel lonely and isolated out here away from my friends and not being able to visit Jay at work. His commute has him away from his family an extra 1.5 hours daily. I love having people in my home, but we're too far away for anyone to want to visit regularly...plus balancing volunteering at a mobile church (with set up and tear down), worship team practice, work and wanting the occasional date night in the city...having one car and living 45 minutes away is really, REALLY hard...especially with Caden. He gets dragged around so much. We eat out way more than we should because we're always stuck in town and he spends at least 2 nights a week staying awake much longer than he should because he has to wait on Mom or Dad to finish up whatever they are doing in Tallahassee. Thursday night worship team makes for a very tired and crabby Caden on Thursday night and Friday mornings.
On Sunday mornings I drag my family out of the house at 6:25am so I can be to church for 7 and they get breakfast and kill time until church starts, they wait around for both services and patiently continue waiting while I unhook my instrument and roll a few mic cables before having to throw in the towel and get my exhausted toddler home.
I'm so ready to be back in town. Life will seem like a breeze after this!
I think there is a fine line between having childlike faith and getting your hopes up...people tell you to be expectant of things to come but not to get your hopes up...i don't think you can do both. I've been told to pack and look for a place to live in town because God is going to do something amazing, quickly...I've also been told to be realistic..I'm not sure which advice to take, but my gut tells me God is a good God who will not give me a stone if I ask for bread...so it's official...my hopes are up.
I love my house...I wish, wish, wish I could move it into town...but since we can't, I am SO ready to be back in the city. I am not a country mouse.
When I think of leaving my beautiful kitchen and stellar paint job that fits my style, I am a bit sad...but when I think of being in Tallahassee without having to commute: I am thrilled!
To wake up and go to bed in Tallahassee seems like such a luxury now...I feel lonely and isolated out here away from my friends and not being able to visit Jay at work. His commute has him away from his family an extra 1.5 hours daily. I love having people in my home, but we're too far away for anyone to want to visit regularly...plus balancing volunteering at a mobile church (with set up and tear down), worship team practice, work and wanting the occasional date night in the city...having one car and living 45 minutes away is really, REALLY hard...especially with Caden. He gets dragged around so much. We eat out way more than we should because we're always stuck in town and he spends at least 2 nights a week staying awake much longer than he should because he has to wait on Mom or Dad to finish up whatever they are doing in Tallahassee. Thursday night worship team makes for a very tired and crabby Caden on Thursday night and Friday mornings.
On Sunday mornings I drag my family out of the house at 6:25am so I can be to church for 7 and they get breakfast and kill time until church starts, they wait around for both services and patiently continue waiting while I unhook my instrument and roll a few mic cables before having to throw in the towel and get my exhausted toddler home.
I'm so ready to be back in town. Life will seem like a breeze after this!
I think there is a fine line between having childlike faith and getting your hopes up...people tell you to be expectant of things to come but not to get your hopes up...i don't think you can do both. I've been told to pack and look for a place to live in town because God is going to do something amazing, quickly...I've also been told to be realistic..I'm not sure which advice to take, but my gut tells me God is a good God who will not give me a stone if I ask for bread...so it's official...my hopes are up.
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Wanted: Prayer
We had a great couple come and look at our house today. They seem like the perfect fit and loved everything about the house...including the paint in Caden's room which I thought for sure would make anyone without a little boy cringe...but I said we would repaint it and they said, "No, we like it!"
I had 40 minutes to get the house ready to show, and with Jay working and Caden under my feet, it was a difficult task! But we pulled it off and they actually loved the fact that Caden was there, pulling them by the hands to come play with him the back yard. Caden, the realtor.
They are a sweet, young couple, originally from the country who are looking to start a family and really love our home and property. It makes me happy to think someone like them could make a life here. It's the perfect scenerio.
Pray that everything will work out, that they'll make an offer, everything will run smoothly and that God will be at the center of this sale.
If this pans out, it is TRULY a testiment to the power of God...in this market and the current economy, to sell our home in less than 3 weeks without a realtor would be nothing short of the power and faithfulness of God. We put this in his hands from the start and are blessed to see prayer and faith coming to fruition.
Pray for us! I'll keep you posted..
I had 40 minutes to get the house ready to show, and with Jay working and Caden under my feet, it was a difficult task! But we pulled it off and they actually loved the fact that Caden was there, pulling them by the hands to come play with him the back yard. Caden, the realtor.
They are a sweet, young couple, originally from the country who are looking to start a family and really love our home and property. It makes me happy to think someone like them could make a life here. It's the perfect scenerio.
Pray that everything will work out, that they'll make an offer, everything will run smoothly and that God will be at the center of this sale.
If this pans out, it is TRULY a testiment to the power of God...in this market and the current economy, to sell our home in less than 3 weeks without a realtor would be nothing short of the power and faithfulness of God. We put this in his hands from the start and are blessed to see prayer and faith coming to fruition.
Pray for us! I'll keep you posted..
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
Guitar Man
Caden made this guitar out of the rubber band from the crock pot and a dog bone.
Mad Skillz.
Mad Skillz.
Quote of the Day
"Caden, stop crying and go to sleep or I will put you in timeout, forever."
-Me, while trying to get Caden to take a nap.
Sometimes I just have to stop and laugh at myself.
-Me, while trying to get Caden to take a nap.
Sometimes I just have to stop and laugh at myself.
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
the apple doesn't fall far from the tree...
Caden may not look like me but lately I am starting to see some serious personality similarities between me and my little man.
His musical ability is pretty amazing...he has crazy mad skillz on the drums and lately has shown big time interest in the guitar. On Sunday he was watching us practice while strumming his sippy cup. He amazes me...but then again, I'm a bit biased.
I was telling friends on July 4th that it's silly because he's only 2, but I am already so proud of him. He tests my patience like nothing ever has, but for the most part he is a good boy who LOVES people and had never met a stranger. He is warm and friendly, hilarious and talented...and I also see a depth in him that I know God is going to use to draw him close to Himself.
I sing a song in church frequently called, "Hosanna" and one of the lines says, "I see a generation rising up to take their place with selfless faith." I always picture my boy leading people to Christ when I sing that and I don't think I've ever gotten through it without being covered in goosebumps...or tingles :) inside joke.
I have days where I feel like a complete failure as a parent, and I have days that I wish I could live over and over again..I have days that are exhilarating because of his energy and some days that are exhausting because of the same reason...but I am incredibly blessed to be this boys mother and I hope that I do him justice by raising him right.
Right now he is sitting by the tv stand, playing with tiny plastic animals...sound familiar, Mom?
I use to sit in the corner of the living room, playing with a tiny cup of glass animals for hours at a time..it's funny to see my child doing the exact same thing...except he sits there for about 2 minutes until he gets bored and needs a change of scenery.
That part he gets from his Dad. :)
His musical ability is pretty amazing...he has crazy mad skillz on the drums and lately has shown big time interest in the guitar. On Sunday he was watching us practice while strumming his sippy cup. He amazes me...but then again, I'm a bit biased.
I was telling friends on July 4th that it's silly because he's only 2, but I am already so proud of him. He tests my patience like nothing ever has, but for the most part he is a good boy who LOVES people and had never met a stranger. He is warm and friendly, hilarious and talented...and I also see a depth in him that I know God is going to use to draw him close to Himself.
I sing a song in church frequently called, "Hosanna" and one of the lines says, "I see a generation rising up to take their place with selfless faith." I always picture my boy leading people to Christ when I sing that and I don't think I've ever gotten through it without being covered in goosebumps...or tingles :) inside joke.
I have days where I feel like a complete failure as a parent, and I have days that I wish I could live over and over again..I have days that are exhilarating because of his energy and some days that are exhausting because of the same reason...but I am incredibly blessed to be this boys mother and I hope that I do him justice by raising him right.
Right now he is sitting by the tv stand, playing with tiny plastic animals...sound familiar, Mom?
I use to sit in the corner of the living room, playing with a tiny cup of glass animals for hours at a time..it's funny to see my child doing the exact same thing...except he sits there for about 2 minutes until he gets bored and needs a change of scenery.
That part he gets from his Dad. :)
July 4th Get Down
Here is the band in the Sopchoppy Park. Caden and another little boy were diggin it. Caden in a more, laid back, air guitar kind of way. Other boy in an all-out get your groove on kind of way. It was cute.
Notice the woman in the yellow shirt constantly getting in the way of me (caden's mom) to take pictures of Caden and encourage him to dance with more enthusiasm. She was quite the character.
Monday, July 07, 2008
10 Things People Never Tell You About Parenting
I found this article by a guy named Craig Playstead.
It's pretty funny, and completely true.
10 Things People Never Tell You About Parenting
1) The way you view the world changes
When you bring someone into this world, things like global warming, war and women in beer ads have a whole new meaning. You start actually looking at the impact these things have, and what the world will become after you’re dead and gone. Leaving a better place for your kids and grandkids becomes more than just talk.
2) You’ll feel like a failure
There will be times when no matter how hard you try, your kids are never happy. You feel you’re telling them “no” too much, constantly harping on them to clean their room, or dashing their dreams of lowering their brother down the staircase on a rope. While they may complain they don’t have a Wii or that “so and so’s” mom let’s them see PG-13 movies, you need to stick to what you believe in and what you feel is best for your kids.
3) You have no time
This seems obvious, but you can’t believe just how little time you have. You start to measure things out in minutes and seconds. “If he watches Curious George for 20 more seconds, I can go to the bathroom,” or “If his nap lasts another 10 minutes, maybe I can get in a shower today.”
4) Not going to the bathroom by yourself
When your kids are babies, the bathroom is the only place you can get your head together. It’s also one of the only places you can actually read. I read ESPN’s Bill Simmons’ entire book over the course of the week in the bathroom when my youngest was a baby. And then he turned two. If he’s not forcing his way in to watch “how it’s really done” he’s banging on the door screaming “lemme in!” or sliding all his books underneath. There is no peace with toddlers.
5) Parenthood will turn you soft
This one hits the guys especially hard. You’ll find yourself tearing up at any dumb movie that has anything to do with parenthood, and if you have a daughter, don’t be surprised to find yourself playing “My Little Pony” before heading off to work. The icing on the cake is hawking Girl Scout cookies in front of your local grocery store annually.
6) They will embarrass you
This is a big shock, and you’re never ready for it. In your mind, they are perfect little angels; in reality, they’re little people trying to figure out their way in the world. Unfortunately, they say what they want—when they want. It can be something that’s funny like announcing to their pre-school class that Daddy farts all the time, or it can be humiliating like a temper tantrum in a grocery store or having them tell your parents to “get me a toy next time” after opening a gift containing pajamas. You’re prepared for the fact that you’ll embarrass them when they get to a certain age, but you’re never ready to be the one that’s humiliated.
7) Worrying
This is the one that stings from the day your child is born until the day you die. From the start you worry that they’ll stop breathing in their crib, then you obsess about getting the freaking car seat in correctly. They get a little older and you worry about them falling down the stairs or choking on a Polly Pocket. As the years go on you lose sleep about dating, not fitting in, or getting into a situation that they can’t handle. Then there are the worries that never go away: providing enough, paying for college or not teaching them the right things. The list goes on and on and on, and it takes a major toll on you. But you worry because you love.
8) You won’t be the parent you think
We all had visions of the kind of parents we would be to our kids. Now, as battle tested Moms and Dads, we’ve heard the prospective parents spouting off advice. Those hollow words of wisdom come even though they’ve never gotten up at three a.m. to do a load of laundry with more vomit on it than a frat house floor. Nor have they tried to cook dinner with a screaming baby in their arms, a toddler doing cartwheels off the couch, and the phone ringing. It usually goes something like this: “I’d never let my kids watch TV before they turn three,” or “I would never raise my voice at my child,” or “My toddler won’t ever eat sweets.” Uh huh, and I said I’d never own a minivan. You have this great picture of the kind of parent you want to be, and how picturesque your family will become. You try to live up to that vision, but you also have to survive. So, snickering at a prospective parent spouting off advice is not only allowed, but encouraged.
9) Sickness
Let’s start with pin worms. They are small parasitic worms that live in the human intestinal track. The worms crawl out of the child’s anus at night and lay their eggs in the diaper, pajamas and other areas around the bed or crib. The eggs are then passed to others and ingested unknowingly. The worst part? You have to go in there and grab them while your kid is asleep. It’s a horror show. It’s also not something I had any idea about before having kids. Sick kids take a toll on the entire house. Even the typical cold has taken on a whole new meaning, especially with toddlers. It can require being up in the middle of the night for days in a row, missing work and acting as one giant Kleenex. The numerous slug trails across your shirt are always a nice touch.
10) The feeling of unconditional love
You assume that you’re going to love your kids, but what you end up feeling for them is unlike anything else you’ll ever know. Just a simple smile from your offspring can erase a really bad day at the office. This is the reason why people rave about having kids while they look exhausted and have a fresh batch of spit-up running down their back.
It's pretty funny, and completely true.
10 Things People Never Tell You About Parenting
1) The way you view the world changes
When you bring someone into this world, things like global warming, war and women in beer ads have a whole new meaning. You start actually looking at the impact these things have, and what the world will become after you’re dead and gone. Leaving a better place for your kids and grandkids becomes more than just talk.
2) You’ll feel like a failure
There will be times when no matter how hard you try, your kids are never happy. You feel you’re telling them “no” too much, constantly harping on them to clean their room, or dashing their dreams of lowering their brother down the staircase on a rope. While they may complain they don’t have a Wii or that “so and so’s” mom let’s them see PG-13 movies, you need to stick to what you believe in and what you feel is best for your kids.
3) You have no time
This seems obvious, but you can’t believe just how little time you have. You start to measure things out in minutes and seconds. “If he watches Curious George for 20 more seconds, I can go to the bathroom,” or “If his nap lasts another 10 minutes, maybe I can get in a shower today.”
4) Not going to the bathroom by yourself
When your kids are babies, the bathroom is the only place you can get your head together. It’s also one of the only places you can actually read. I read ESPN’s Bill Simmons’ entire book over the course of the week in the bathroom when my youngest was a baby. And then he turned two. If he’s not forcing his way in to watch “how it’s really done” he’s banging on the door screaming “lemme in!” or sliding all his books underneath. There is no peace with toddlers.
5) Parenthood will turn you soft
This one hits the guys especially hard. You’ll find yourself tearing up at any dumb movie that has anything to do with parenthood, and if you have a daughter, don’t be surprised to find yourself playing “My Little Pony” before heading off to work. The icing on the cake is hawking Girl Scout cookies in front of your local grocery store annually.
6) They will embarrass you
This is a big shock, and you’re never ready for it. In your mind, they are perfect little angels; in reality, they’re little people trying to figure out their way in the world. Unfortunately, they say what they want—when they want. It can be something that’s funny like announcing to their pre-school class that Daddy farts all the time, or it can be humiliating like a temper tantrum in a grocery store or having them tell your parents to “get me a toy next time” after opening a gift containing pajamas. You’re prepared for the fact that you’ll embarrass them when they get to a certain age, but you’re never ready to be the one that’s humiliated.
7) Worrying
This is the one that stings from the day your child is born until the day you die. From the start you worry that they’ll stop breathing in their crib, then you obsess about getting the freaking car seat in correctly. They get a little older and you worry about them falling down the stairs or choking on a Polly Pocket. As the years go on you lose sleep about dating, not fitting in, or getting into a situation that they can’t handle. Then there are the worries that never go away: providing enough, paying for college or not teaching them the right things. The list goes on and on and on, and it takes a major toll on you. But you worry because you love.
8) You won’t be the parent you think
We all had visions of the kind of parents we would be to our kids. Now, as battle tested Moms and Dads, we’ve heard the prospective parents spouting off advice. Those hollow words of wisdom come even though they’ve never gotten up at three a.m. to do a load of laundry with more vomit on it than a frat house floor. Nor have they tried to cook dinner with a screaming baby in their arms, a toddler doing cartwheels off the couch, and the phone ringing. It usually goes something like this: “I’d never let my kids watch TV before they turn three,” or “I would never raise my voice at my child,” or “My toddler won’t ever eat sweets.” Uh huh, and I said I’d never own a minivan. You have this great picture of the kind of parent you want to be, and how picturesque your family will become. You try to live up to that vision, but you also have to survive. So, snickering at a prospective parent spouting off advice is not only allowed, but encouraged.
9) Sickness
Let’s start with pin worms. They are small parasitic worms that live in the human intestinal track. The worms crawl out of the child’s anus at night and lay their eggs in the diaper, pajamas and other areas around the bed or crib. The eggs are then passed to others and ingested unknowingly. The worst part? You have to go in there and grab them while your kid is asleep. It’s a horror show. It’s also not something I had any idea about before having kids. Sick kids take a toll on the entire house. Even the typical cold has taken on a whole new meaning, especially with toddlers. It can require being up in the middle of the night for days in a row, missing work and acting as one giant Kleenex. The numerous slug trails across your shirt are always a nice touch.
10) The feeling of unconditional love
You assume that you’re going to love your kids, but what you end up feeling for them is unlike anything else you’ll ever know. Just a simple smile from your offspring can erase a really bad day at the office. This is the reason why people rave about having kids while they look exhausted and have a fresh batch of spit-up running down their back.
Saturday, July 05, 2008
America Day
Video compliments of Micah.
Once again, we had a wonderful 4th of July celebration in Sopchoppy, Florida. Micah and Abby graciously invited us out to the fams house where we maxed and relaxed country style. With kiddie pools, local parade, smoked meat, all the 'fixins' you could think of, horseshoes, cards, fireworks, funnel cake, and great friends, it was a fantastic day.
Caden was pretty worn out by the end of it, to the point where he threw up on the way home from over-sugar and over-fatigue, but he slept in until 8:15 this morning and is feeling much better :)
What kind of 4th of July is it if someone doesn't puke all over themselves? :)
Thursday, July 03, 2008
Inked
Today, Jay and I went on a tattoo date. (Yes, I pretty much kept this a secret.)
We both got some fresh ink that means alot to us. Jay did not get all of the above tattoos today...that would be a painful and expensive trip to the tattoo man. Today, he got the celtic cross underneath the arm. He got the maple leaf to represent me when we were in Canada (fitting!) and the others he's had for quite sometime. He also has a 'jesus fish' on his shoulder blade. He's a little more hardcore than I am :) but I support his decorative decisions...it's his body and the more art he bears on it, the more he feels like 'himself' and the more he discovers who he is...I dig that.
I have a star on my foot that I've had since I was 18 and have never regretted getting. I love it. It doesn't really have much meaning, but it represents a time when I was on the brink of everything...and I got it done with my bff Amy.
Since then I've always known I wanted another one, I just had no idea what I wanted.
I found a picture of the 'pitcher plant', Newfoundland's provincial flower, and thought is was stunning. Being as homesick as I am (and will forever remain) I can now have a little piece of home with me...a conversation starter so I can share my heritage with people I meet and a beautiful emblem that won't fade even when my memories do. It will remind me of my upbringing, my family, my culture, and where I came from that made me 'me'...Plus the flower itself represents natural beauty, strength and character...3 pretty amazing qualities. For me it also represents unity between Jay and I..I feel like we match more now :) and that's always a good thing.
So there it is...luckily Jay has made friends with a tattoo artist and he gave us some rocking good deals on some priceless art. If you have an itch to get inked, I can give you his name and phone number :)
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
HAPPY CANADA DAY!
And no, this is not a made-up day. Click here if you would like to read the history.
I know I've posted this before...but it's too funny...Canadians generally are not this 'in-your-face' about their national pride, but it cracks me up how obnoxious he becomes and then how he has to wrap it up Canada style with a polite and quiet, "Thank you" at the end. Classic. Enjoy.
(disclaimer: I am not intending to advertise or promote the consumption of alcohol by posting this video to my blog...i only intend to promote hilarity.)
Happy Canada Day to my friends, no matter where you're from. I intend on partying hard on July 4th in celebration of a nation that houses many people I love, so America, feel free to do the same today!
I know I've posted this before...but it's too funny...Canadians generally are not this 'in-your-face' about their national pride, but it cracks me up how obnoxious he becomes and then how he has to wrap it up Canada style with a polite and quiet, "Thank you" at the end. Classic. Enjoy.
(disclaimer: I am not intending to advertise or promote the consumption of alcohol by posting this video to my blog...i only intend to promote hilarity.)
Happy Canada Day to my friends, no matter where you're from. I intend on partying hard on July 4th in celebration of a nation that houses many people I love, so America, feel free to do the same today!
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