Mean Girls

I've been wanting to write on this topic for a long time...years really...but it's a touchy one. It's a touchy one, because it involves me and it involves relationships I had/have and the last thing I wanted was for someone to read this and wonder, "Is she talking about me?"
But then I got to thinking...The answer is 'yes'. At least if you're a girl...because every single one of us has a mean streak. You know what I'm talking about. It's the reason why relationships with other women are SO hard. I know they are for me, I assume they can be for you too.
Women can be TERRIBLE to other women.
Although we can all have a mean streak, not all of us are 'mean girls'. Beth Moore laid out four facts about meanness in her Esther study guide.

1) Meanness always has a history.
-It doesn't just spring up out of nowhere. Hurt people, hurt people and often times the mean girl (although inexcusable) has been a victim of meanness herself.

2) Meanness perceives a threat.
-That's why girls are mean to other girls. They are threatened by them. Insecurity is at the heart of every rivalry. Anger is power to those who don't think they have any other source of it.

3)Meanness catches like a virus.
-Ever notice how nothing makes you meaner than a mean girl? Think about it.

4) Meanness is curable.
-Thank God! (Romans 12:17-21) Don't repay evil with evil. Nothing combats meanness like love and sometimes you just need to walk away from relationships that are toxic with anger and meanness.

Beth also listed three of the qualities (not an exhaustive list) she thinks best describes a mean girl and I couldn't agree more. I wanted to share them because I think they are accurate and brilliant.

1) A mean girl will let you hang out with her as long as you remember it is all about her.

2) A mean girl will dig at other girl's but never admit to it or apologize for it.

3) A mean girl dresses provocatively around other women's men, men that they have no actual interest in. They just want the satisfaction of diverting his eyes from his wife, to her.(To which Beth added: Ladies, keep your breasts to yourself!)

As a married woman and a stay-at-home mom, I struggle constantly with fitting in with groups of mother's and other women. I need the company, opinions and understanding of other mom's but I fear the pain and 'meanness' that can lie within groups of women. Like grade 12 all over again, where I took refuge in the few non-mean girls I could find and had many guy friends. I cherish my male friendships. At least with guys you know where you stand.
The polite 'digs', the obsession with weight and perfection, the gossip, the judgement. It's tough being a woman amongst other women.

So my challenge (or my plea) is to rid yourself of the meanness. Whether it's within you or within someone you have a relationship with. Confront it with love and walk away from it...even if that means walking away from an individual who may not understand why you're doing what you're doing.