For Better, For Worse....

I feel very burdened tonight for the state of marriage in our world...I feel desperately and painfully empathetic for those who have had their trust abused, their world's completely rocked, their hearts broken and who's children have had to watch it all happen.

I am hurting for women who have given themselves completely to another person only to be told out of the blue, "I'm not in love with you anymore."
Or who have had to find out the hard way that someone else has stolen their man's affection.

What do you do with that? How is it fair? If you don't have Christ to sustain you, how do you make it through that kind of damage? How do you re-build?

I praise God for the health of my marriage and the love Jay and I have for one another but I am not foolish enough to think that we are immune...that we don't need to be on guard...that we don't need to affair proof our marriage, remove people from our lives who try to sabotage it and pray daily for it...After all, we live in a world where a wedding band is not just physically easy to remove but figuratively as well and it turns my stomach to think about it.

I watched a message by Beth Moore (who, as you can probably tell, I have come to LOVE!) and she was honest about a time not so long ago when she was plagued with irrational fear for her marriage...She began to think (and I'm paraphrasing here), 'What if he just doesn't find me attractive anymore? What if he finds someone else? If that happened, I would just die!'

Riddled with a paralyzing fear, she felt God call her out of it by saying, "Beth, what would your worst case scenario be?"

"Well," she thought to herself, "He would meet someone else. He would fall in love with her. He would divorce me and marry her. My children would like her!"

She then felt His voice say, "And what would happen to you?"

"Well Lord, I would kick and scream. I would be so angry. I would cry and throw a fit and be a mess. I would fall to the floor and I would be broken"

"And then?"

"Well, then....I'd get back up. Eventually, I'd get back up and I'd start to live life again."

Whatever fear you have, whatever nightmare Satan tries to taunt you with, whatever damage you've already suffered...as devastating as it seems in reality or in your imagination, God is bigger than it.

My prayer is that any woman (and I say woman because I am one...I know men have been hurt too) who has been hurt in this way will find her restoration in God's hands...that any children who have to witness a marriage fall apart will be spared from a similar fate in their marriages down the road...that husbands and wives would become diligent in their prayers for one another and their families, that they would do everything in their power to stay together and be healthy and stronger than they imagined possible. I pray that bitterness, hatred, disrespect and distrust will give birth to joy, love, respect and a relational depth that they didn't realize existed...that couples will begin to experience marriage the way God intended it to be.

Protect yourselves...I am a big believer in Heaven and a big believer in Hell...not just as distant places but on the earth right here, right now. One of the best things Satan has going for him in the world is the 50% divorce rate...Like Pastor Brian said a few Sunday's ago, "Schedule your pain and schedule it early."
If you need counselling, go get it...don't save it 'til the end just so you can say, "We did all we could do."
If you need to work long and hard on your marriage, roll up your sleeves and get to it.

And if you find yourself at the end of a loosing battle, at the finish of an exhausting, unhealthy marital journey that has ended in separation and you have no idea how you got here, know that God is eager and more than able to pick up the pieces and bring restoration to your broken heart.

I am praying for you tonight.