So I have a poopy feeling. I always have a poopy feeling after I do what I did this morning. I was at Publix, buying some groceries and made a mental note to lock the car doors (which I usually don't do) because I had some cash and back deposits in the car. So I get the baby, go in the store, do my thing and return to my car. When I get to my car (excuse the judgment that is about to happen) there was a shady looking character hanging out by my vehicle. She stopped me and said, "Ma'am, I just wanted to let you know that you left your car door wide open when you went in the store and I made sure I got a store manager out here to close the door. I just wanted to let you know that I took care of that for you."
immediately I panicked, "Thank you" I said as I peered in the window of the car to make sure everything was still there. Everything was, so my heart calmed back down. Thinking back, it would have been impossible for me to have made such an error. Then it happened.
"Ma'am my house just recently burned down and I have four kids and I am taking up donations to get back on my feet. Can you spare some money?"
Usually my response to this is, "I'm sorry I don't have any cash" and this is normally true cause I NEVER have cash but I knew three things for sure.
A) She was lying through her teeth. As terrible as that sounds I have been in enough situations like this to know she was not legit.
B) She knew I had cash because she had seen it in my car.
C) If I did not give her money, there was going to be a confrontation. Nothing physical or dangerous, just her trying to make me feel like a monster.
She made reference again to the fact that she had taken care of my car door issue, and to the fact that I must understand her situation since I am a mother (then she asked me if my baby was bi-racial which I'm still trying to figure out...Pale, blonde hair, blue eyed bi-racial baby??) I knew that if I didn't end the situation with some cash, she was going to attempt to make me feel like a bad person and she would have succeeded. So wanting to avoid a confrontation, I hand over 5 bucks, she says, "God Bless you," I watch her pretend to go in the grocery store and then cleverly sneak off down the street....While I'm left to wonder what addiction that money is going to feed.
I know I am coming across as being EXTREMELY judgmental, but certain situations are transparent, even for someone as naive as me. So here I sit feeling poopy. God tells us to give to the poor, he commands us to love. Should I give of my money because it's the right thing to do, regardless of where the funds might end up? In hindsight I should have offered to purchase a publix gift card for her but I've offered this before in similar situations and it's always angrily refused. The truth is I gave because I desperately wanted to avoid an altercation and left the situation feeling, well, poopy.
In the end I prayed that God would allow her to take the money to McDonald's and put it to some good use. I guess when you get to that point, that's all you can do. Sigh.
3 comments:
I know how you feel Kathy. I never know who is legit and who is not...It amazes me how many people have a set "routine" that they go though all day long with people to guilt them into giving them money. One time when I was a teenager I was driving to my grandmothers house, I believe and I had some Nacho Cheese Lunchables in my trunk, lol....and I saw this man on the side of a busy road and his wife (I think) was sitting down on the ground leaning agains a metal box thing (you know, like an electrical box or something on a corner) and she was probably 2/3 through her pregnancy. I passed them at the light, they were just sitting there...I don't think they were begging or had any signs, I can't remember. Something told me to go give them the food that was in my trunk, so I turned around and went back to where they were, I hopped out of the car and told them I didn't have anything else to give them, but I wanted them to have this bag of food. Thinking I had done something to help them, or would have received a thank you he looked at the food and looked back at me and said, thank you, but don't you have anything like some milk or something, I mean-she's pregnant. Do you have anything a pregnant woman needs, she can't eat this.
I felt like POO. I felt confused over how someone who seemed to have nothing could criticize a bag of food, from a 16-17year old none the less. People amaze me. and unfortunately, I think about that experience almost every time I see a homeless person on the corner or I pass that intersection.
I am glad that everything was okay in your car...miss you.
I think you did the right thing.
Nothing like this has ever happened to me before, so I have to believe that you were put in that situation for a reason. And what I know of you, I am sure you handled the situation very well. You had your son with you, so you did not want to get into a fight with this woman! I can just see you two in a wrestling match... :) You could have been walking up just as she was about to rob your car, so giving her $5 is nothing compared to what she could have taken. You don't know for sure what she did with the $5... but as the story of the sheeps and the goats go, you were a little bit of Jesus to her, even if you felt like you were totally being taken advantage of. And as the Mr. Wendal song goes, $5 is not a big deal to me, but it means a big deal to someone. Don't feel like poo... you were put in an awkward situation, and you handled it in a way that you can feel proud of.
Okay, I completely rambled on there, but I don't feel like reading back through it to see if it makes sense or not, so take it for what it is...
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