Good Friday

When I was 9, our church put together an Easter play. We practiced for weeks, my mom made costumes, we gathered props...I was so excited to be a part of it. My role? Middle curtain holder. That's right. We had assembled a hand held curtain which was a long piece of draping fabric, with three hockey sticks attached to it (how very Canadian, eh?) and three people walked the curtain out and blocked the public from seeing the scenery changes. I held the middle hockey stick...and I pretty much thought the production would not be able to happen without me. I took my job very seriously :)
The performance took place during the Good Friday service. When it was over, I went to the woman in charge and thanked her for letting me be a part of it. She laughed and said, "You're thanking me because you got to hold the curtain? Well, you're welcome!"
At the time, I couldn't figure out why she thought that was so funny, but I didn't think much about it.
After coming home, exhausted from my intense acting debut (sarcasm) I sat in my bedroom alone and thought about the production...and in the midst of my excitement and enthusiasm for having been a part of it, I began to cry. I specifically thought about the part of the production where the actors portrayed the scene of Jesus feeding the 5000...then I thought about what inevitably happened to him on the cross.
I remember that moment like it was yesterday...I was heart broken and guilt ridden about what Jesus went through, because he didn't deserve it. He was innocent. He was love.
I believe the story of feeding the 5000 stood out to me because it was a representation of how to do ministry God's way. That in the midst of the stress, demands, chaos and the hungry people waiting to be fed, Christ was nothing but patience and love. He physically showed us how to be his hands and feet AND attitude...he was perfection...the last person who deserved pain and rejection.
Every Good Friday since I was nine, I think about that...I know we aren't to live in a state of guilt and mourning...that doing so would negate the sacrifice that God so willingly made...but today, this day, is a day to remember in reverence the action that God took to show us the depth of his love for us. Today is a day to make the 'main thing' the main thing. It's a day to fall on our faces and say we're sorry and we're humbled and we graciously accept with unworthiness the sacrifice of love that this day represents. It's a day to stand in awe of who God is and what motivates Him to do what He does...His out-of-control love for you and me.