Cat's on the table

My cat is batheing himself on my dining room table. I should in all honesty discipline his rebellious behavior but nothing works. He fears nothing but the vacuum and I do not have the strength to hoist it to the top of the table and chase him down. So he shall remain "Chat sur le table" (I apologize because I know that has to be wrong)
I put flea medicine on my little cat last night. I usually use the crazy expensive vet stuff but given our current financial situation, I went with a cheap Walmart brand of flea drops. So I put them on the back of her neck like I am instructed to do on the packaging and proceed to get in bed. After several minutes of lying there in the dark, I hear her running viciously up and down the hallway panting and hissing at nothing. So I go to check on her and she is evidently possessed by a demon or having an extreme negative reaction to her flea drops. I take her in the bathroom and wash her down with baby shampoo, meanwhile a little flea runs across her face, smiling and laughing and screaming profanities at me as he nestles his way down into her furry head. I kept an eye on her for a while after and she seemed to be ok. I am happy to say that aside from some slight twitching of the ears, she is doing much better. Poor little Kitty. Stupid little fleas. Grrrr.
I can't believe they would sell stuff like that. I'm going to write a strongly worded letter.