I'm so anxious! In a good way, I am counting down the days for alot of things!
First I find that I am counting down the days till I can go back to Life Church. I've never really been that way about church before and it has nothing to do with social reasons or how great the worship team sounds or anything like that. Through God's word in that place I am sensing for the first time in a long time the awesome power of God. The leadership there is incredible and I feel so comfortable being led by the Pastor. There is power there, and the great thing is that God's power is not limited to certain denominations like we sometimes think. God can blow the roof off of any congregation with his amazing spirit. There needs to be some evidence of God's power in our lives, cause when the Holy Spirit baptizes your soul, there is power in that! You take on gifts and attributes that you never had before and God's will can be accomplished through you. For the first time in a long time I am not a spectator at church. It's been hard, but I am finally entering into a time of true worship when I am within God's sactuary, focusing just on him and not on music, people or most importantly, myself. It's hard to block yourself out and make honoring God your lifestyle but I am starting to see how I accomplish nothing living for my own agenda. God is so much greater and so much bigger than anything that can come my way. I've always sung that and heard that and said that, but I don't know that I've conceived that. That's big time stuff.
I read alot on people's blogs about worship and defining it correctly and how people are getting it wrong. God is going to take care of that by re-directing people. For a long time I had missed the boat on what worship truly is and it was through biblical truth and conviction of the Holy Spirit that led me to desire more and make my life about God and not about me. So if you have tapped into a lifestyle of worship, praise God for it and pray for others to tap into the same thing. Because Desmond you're right, arguing about it gets nowhere when two people have completely different definitions of what Worship is. I urge anyone who is bored in their Christian walk to dig deeper into God's word. There are amazing things in there and don't say you know it all, cause even in Heaven God is going to amaze us and astound us everyday with his awesomeness. If you are daily walking with your Lord you are going to develop a deeper and deeper relationship and it's impossible to get bored with that. Don't be afraid. Pray for God's power in your life and watch him use you to change the world!
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Sunday, May 08, 2005
I'm cheating on the blogger!
I have decided to also have a Xanga, in order to better communicate with the Salvationists of Florida. I was reluctant, but due to a frustrating blogger experience in which I could not upload photos quickly and easily, I decided to give xanga a try. Don't worry, I will post faithfully here as well.
My secondary page is
www.xanga.com/kathyunplugged
Enjoy!
My secondary page is
www.xanga.com/kathyunplugged
Enjoy!
Saturday, May 07, 2005
Transformation
God has been answering my prayers in an amazing way. I don't actually know how to document this on my blog but, my well trained Christian brain is being blown away and opened up to sides of God that I had forgotten about. When we first settled into Tallahassee, Jason and I knew that for our spiritual well-being (and our sanity) we had to find something outside of the Corps to plug into. We tried several different bible studies with people outside of the Salvation Army, but nothing was really fitting for us. We began watching this minister who was being broadcasted from some church here in Tallahassee on television sometimes. We'd be flicking through the channels and see him speaking so we would stop and be taken in by it. We found that every time we heard him speak, we were motivated and convicted to change for the better and strive for holiness. Jason decided to get together with this guy so that we could forge ministries and get to know eachother a little better. They got together and Jason decided to go to the early service at his church before the sunday morning meeting at the Salvation Army. He attended a few times alone, because I was teaching sunday school an was unable to go and he loved every minute of it. He would then come to the Corps completely renewed and in a worshipful state of mind. I decided one Wednesday night to go with him and I sat through a worship service where people were raising their hands and going forward and crying and being very charismatic. I sat there and prayed silently to myself, "God show yourself to me, speak to me audibly so I will know where I am suppose to go and what I am suppose to do with my life once this position at the army is all over." At that moment the preacher (Brian) said, "someone here is wondering what they are suppose to do and where they are suppose to go." and he continued to talk directly to me answering every prayer that I had prayed in that moment. Needless to say, i was freaked out and I left the service that night not wanting to return. I'm not one for the group stuff. I like to pray and worship alone....this was what I said to Jason this past Wednesday when he wanted to go back to the church to their Wednesday night worship service. I was tempted not to go, but I decided I would try it again. We got there and Pastor Brian began to preach a sermon that was completely and utterly directed at Jason and I. He made a biblical argument for all of my excuses about worship and not being "too out there." I felt really convicted and my heart began to beat out of my chest. He then called that for anyone who wanted to find more of God to come forward. Jason and I went up and I began to cry uncontrollably. Now anyone who knows me, knows that I do not do the crying thing. I look at it as weakness and I don't like attention unless I'm doing stand-up comedy, so this was beyond my own doing, it was a God thing. I let go of my fear of rejection and looking like a fool and I stood there praying out loud, "Father, there must be more than this. I know you're bigger than what I've experienced. Speak to me like you did to the people in the bible." So while I am praying the pastor goes to Jason and begins praying over him and before long Jason has experienced this crazy, supernatural thing and he begins yelling and screaming. This freaked me out. he sounded like he was in pain! But I trusted God with him and I kept praying. The Pastor then came to me, laid his hands on my head and began praying over me, which then turned into him prophesying over me AGAIN! He answered all of my prayers, through the power of God a second time, telling me things he could never have known about me and telling me where God is going to lead me in the future. I was blown away. I felt the power of God that night, for the first time in a long time. The next day I was a mess. I felt embarassed and stupid and ashamed. I was confused and I was actually afraid of the power that I had experienced. We met with the Pastor for lunch and he answered all of our questions and just really showed us that he cared about us for no other reason but that he jus did. He didn't have any alterior motives and in fact told us that no matter if we ever came to his church again, he wanted to have a relationships with us and would be there for us whenever. Christ's love is an amazing thing. It really makes all the difference. It's all about relationsips!
So to make a REALLY long story short, I have learned many things. That God is much more powerful and "super" natural then we, especially in the Salvation Army, give him credit as being. That we shouldn't grind our teeth and wait for heaven to experience God, we can do it right now. That our church will never have power unless we pray for it TOGETHER and stop being afraid of the Holy Spirit. That the great commission comands us to go out and make disciples and through the Holy Spirit we will lead people to Christ through the POWER of God (healing, preaching, prophesy, driving out demons, etc.)That God did not send Moses to his people powerless to convince them that God was with them, but he had signs and miracles to show them that God was there, otherwise they wouldn't have believed, so why do we walk around and try to convince people to believe a God they can't see, touch, feel or hear? The truth is we CAN experience God, and if we are not, it's because we have created a seperation between ourselves and him. Man, I'm so excited to go to church tomorrow, and I havn't felt that way in a long, long time.
Thank you God.
So to make a REALLY long story short, I have learned many things. That God is much more powerful and "super" natural then we, especially in the Salvation Army, give him credit as being. That we shouldn't grind our teeth and wait for heaven to experience God, we can do it right now. That our church will never have power unless we pray for it TOGETHER and stop being afraid of the Holy Spirit. That the great commission comands us to go out and make disciples and through the Holy Spirit we will lead people to Christ through the POWER of God (healing, preaching, prophesy, driving out demons, etc.)That God did not send Moses to his people powerless to convince them that God was with them, but he had signs and miracles to show them that God was there, otherwise they wouldn't have believed, so why do we walk around and try to convince people to believe a God they can't see, touch, feel or hear? The truth is we CAN experience God, and if we are not, it's because we have created a seperation between ourselves and him. Man, I'm so excited to go to church tomorrow, and I havn't felt that way in a long, long time.
Thank you God.
Monday, May 02, 2005
Ode to Cuddles
Friday, April 29th, 2005, the world said good-bye to a good and faithful friend. Cuddles Smith, our family dog since 1990, past away peacefully at Baccaleu Trail Animal Hospital. Cuddles was seriously more like a brother than a dog. I often accused my mother of loving him more than she loved me (which of course was not true but would make us all laugh) She would often confuse our names the way parents do with their children. She'd call me cuddles and cuddles Kathy. It was quite confusing for both of us.
Cuddles was a terrier mix, who barked like a savage anytime someone came to or exited from our home. He was our guard dog, who looked like a shrunken sheep dog protecting his flock. Veterinarians all over the world would disapprove of Cuddles very human-like diet. Every morning my mother would make him toast and coffee. That dog loved his coffee and would often whimper and beg until she made him a cup with cream and sugar. He loved Italian food. Spaghetti, lasagna, you name it. Mom would have to catch him when he was finished eatting it because if not he would run to the light colored carpet in the living room to wipe the tomato sauce from his beard. He loved his toys and understood three things.
#1) "Cuddles, where is your toy?" he would run and find it and bring it to you for a rousing game of fetch.
#2)"Dad's home!" He would run to the window and wag his tail expectantly for his Father to come in the drive way. From a 1/2 a mile away, Cuddles could see our car, recognize it, and begin barking his head of with excitement.
#3) last but not least was his name or anything that started with a 'C'. If I yelled, "cabbage," he'd come running. He didn't have alot going on upstairs, but he was precious to our family.
Mom noticed that he wasn't doing very well and so she brought him to the vet Friday morning. They did an X-ray and discovered that his lungs were taken over by cancer. There was nothing they could do, so they held him as he was put to sleep. That day they burried him beneath the honey suckle tree in our yard with all of his favorite toys. He was a good dog who lived a very long and beautiful life. He was spoiled rotten with love and attention. Part of me truly believes that all dogs go to heaven, and when Melissa and I were little we made sure that all of our animals accepted Christ. We even put their paws together as though they were praying. Some may say that's blasphemy, but when I was 7 and Melissa was 10, we were very concerned about the spiritual welfare of our animals.
If you're an animal lover and you can empathize with this situation, whisper a little prayer for the Smith Family in Green's Harbour, Newfoundland. We've lost a very important member of our family who will forever be remembered and missed.
Cuddles Smith
1990-2005
Cuddles was a terrier mix, who barked like a savage anytime someone came to or exited from our home. He was our guard dog, who looked like a shrunken sheep dog protecting his flock. Veterinarians all over the world would disapprove of Cuddles very human-like diet. Every morning my mother would make him toast and coffee. That dog loved his coffee and would often whimper and beg until she made him a cup with cream and sugar. He loved Italian food. Spaghetti, lasagna, you name it. Mom would have to catch him when he was finished eatting it because if not he would run to the light colored carpet in the living room to wipe the tomato sauce from his beard. He loved his toys and understood three things.
#1) "Cuddles, where is your toy?" he would run and find it and bring it to you for a rousing game of fetch.
#2)"Dad's home!" He would run to the window and wag his tail expectantly for his Father to come in the drive way. From a 1/2 a mile away, Cuddles could see our car, recognize it, and begin barking his head of with excitement.
#3) last but not least was his name or anything that started with a 'C'. If I yelled, "cabbage," he'd come running. He didn't have alot going on upstairs, but he was precious to our family.
Mom noticed that he wasn't doing very well and so she brought him to the vet Friday morning. They did an X-ray and discovered that his lungs were taken over by cancer. There was nothing they could do, so they held him as he was put to sleep. That day they burried him beneath the honey suckle tree in our yard with all of his favorite toys. He was a good dog who lived a very long and beautiful life. He was spoiled rotten with love and attention. Part of me truly believes that all dogs go to heaven, and when Melissa and I were little we made sure that all of our animals accepted Christ. We even put their paws together as though they were praying. Some may say that's blasphemy, but when I was 7 and Melissa was 10, we were very concerned about the spiritual welfare of our animals.
If you're an animal lover and you can empathize with this situation, whisper a little prayer for the Smith Family in Green's Harbour, Newfoundland. We've lost a very important member of our family who will forever be remembered and missed.
Cuddles Smith
1990-2005
Thursday, April 21, 2005
Holy Ghost Moment
bonjour friends!
Well last night was a great night! Jason and I went to a local university called Florida A & M University (FAMU). Veronica, a young adult at our corps and a student at FAMU invited us to sit on an answering panel with other pastors and church officials for a Religious Question and Answer session for students. Basically students would ask us anything they wanted about Christianity and religion in general and we would try our best to answer their questions and concerns. So we showed up at about 6:15, and it was suppose to start at 6:30. We went inside and met with three other people and waited for the happenings to begin. Well, one other person showed up which made the grand total, 6. All of which were on the answer panel. No students had showed up. So we decided to just introduce ourselves and then have prayer for FAMU and the city of Tallahassee. We gathered around and by the end of our prayer session (which lasted about 45 minutes) there were about 20 people there, all of whom were pastors and church officials who had come to answer questions. We prayed hard and God was very evidently in our midst. After our prayer time, we pulled over a podium and the pastors began to preach the words that God had laid on their hearts. It was amazing, because it was as though they had come there completely prepared to preach sermons on faith and prayer and evangelism. Their words were incredible! Then we pulled over the piano and started to sing songs and praise God together some more. We had testimonies and prayer and it was the most amazing experience. God totally had his way. It was as though we were old friends who had planned to come together and lift eachother up, pray, praise and preach. It was amazing, absolutly amazing. Through it I also made some much needed contacts with the different schools. I met a man who was involved heavily with "The Navigators" at Florida State University, and he is really excited about partnering with the Salvation Army. I also met the co-ordinator for "Jam 4 Jesus" at FAMU and joined her group! AND, Jason and I booked ourselves at three different church's to conduct services centered around evangelism. So it was the most productive night I've had since I've come to Tallahassee and it was all ordained and brought together by God. I've just been trying really hard to maintain a positive attitude of expectancy, thanking God in advance for his glorious blessings and its proving to be the best way to live. When you rely on God to meet your needs you don't have to worry, you don't have to waste time complaining or brainstorming ways out of your own problems, and you really don't have to work very hard to get his work done, cause he puts you in the right place at the right time and meets all of your needs.
Praise God. It was an incredible night!
Well last night was a great night! Jason and I went to a local university called Florida A & M University (FAMU). Veronica, a young adult at our corps and a student at FAMU invited us to sit on an answering panel with other pastors and church officials for a Religious Question and Answer session for students. Basically students would ask us anything they wanted about Christianity and religion in general and we would try our best to answer their questions and concerns. So we showed up at about 6:15, and it was suppose to start at 6:30. We went inside and met with three other people and waited for the happenings to begin. Well, one other person showed up which made the grand total, 6. All of which were on the answer panel. No students had showed up. So we decided to just introduce ourselves and then have prayer for FAMU and the city of Tallahassee. We gathered around and by the end of our prayer session (which lasted about 45 minutes) there were about 20 people there, all of whom were pastors and church officials who had come to answer questions. We prayed hard and God was very evidently in our midst. After our prayer time, we pulled over a podium and the pastors began to preach the words that God had laid on their hearts. It was amazing, because it was as though they had come there completely prepared to preach sermons on faith and prayer and evangelism. Their words were incredible! Then we pulled over the piano and started to sing songs and praise God together some more. We had testimonies and prayer and it was the most amazing experience. God totally had his way. It was as though we were old friends who had planned to come together and lift eachother up, pray, praise and preach. It was amazing, absolutly amazing. Through it I also made some much needed contacts with the different schools. I met a man who was involved heavily with "The Navigators" at Florida State University, and he is really excited about partnering with the Salvation Army. I also met the co-ordinator for "Jam 4 Jesus" at FAMU and joined her group! AND, Jason and I booked ourselves at three different church's to conduct services centered around evangelism. So it was the most productive night I've had since I've come to Tallahassee and it was all ordained and brought together by God. I've just been trying really hard to maintain a positive attitude of expectancy, thanking God in advance for his glorious blessings and its proving to be the best way to live. When you rely on God to meet your needs you don't have to worry, you don't have to waste time complaining or brainstorming ways out of your own problems, and you really don't have to work very hard to get his work done, cause he puts you in the right place at the right time and meets all of your needs.
Praise God. It was an incredible night!
Thursday, April 14, 2005
God wants to fill me with Wine....but I'm a Salvationist!
I'm reading this great book by Joel Osteen called "You're best life, NOW!"
I LOVE IT! It's really opening my eyes and showing me a side of God that I have forgotten about. The part of God that truly wants the best for me and wants me to be happy. I have had a saying for the past little while. "I think God has called me to a job that I'm not going to like." I'm starting to realize how wrong I am and how I have completed forgotten about the character of the God that I serve. God wants to bless me more than I could ever dream, and If I could see all that God has in store for me, it would blow my mind! I love God, and I've never stopped loving him, but I think part of me forgot why I love him. I love him because of who he is. He is Love. I love him because of his amazing character and his nature as my creator. I don't love him for what he's done, but I love him because of what motivates him to be so amazing and incredible. (thanks des, you're blog opened my eyes to that) I've also come to the realization that I need to start expecting great things to happen to me. In the book I've been reading, Osteen refers to a passage of scripture in which Jesus says, "You can't pour new wine into old wineskins." I've read this passage before and it never really sunk into my brain. But I now realize what Jesus was saying. When new wine is poured into a wineskin, the wineskin stretches out and looses its tightness. If you pour new wine into an old wineskin, the wineskin will burst, because it will have no more room to expand. Jesus is not going to pour blessings and fresh ideas into old attitudes. I've had a pesimistic attitude and I have expected that life is going to be hard. I've been meditating on the fact that we don't make alot of money, that getting a home is going to be nearly impossible for us anytime in the near future, that my job isn't going the way I want it to, and I've been dwelling on the impossibilities of my situations instead of praying expectantly that God is going to pour new wine into my life. I have made the decision to change my thinking, and I know that through this, God is going to change my life. I had fallen into the habit of feeling guilty all the time. I've tricked myself into thinking that every decision I make is the wrong one and that God is going to smite me because of it. I feel very freed by this renewel of my mind. It's a truth that I have known all my life but had lost grasp of. We say "God loves us" all the time, but if we really thought about that and believed it, then we would have no trouble tithing, our attitudes would be nothing short of excited and positive all the time, and spreading the gospel would be unavoidable for us. GOD LOVES US! And he wants to bless us. Not because we deserve it, but because he is just that crazy about us.
So I would like to publically thank God for my incredible job that fits me to a tee, the beautiful home I am going to own, the raise I'm going to receive at work, the joy I am going to maintain in my life, the Greencard I will soon hold in my hand, the unbelievable tangible and spiritual blessings that he is going to bestow upon me, because I have asked, I believe and I am his child. Some of you may be thinking, "What if nothing happens Kathy, what if you get your hopes up and nothing happens for you?"
I say, What if something does happen? Spending my life in eager expectancy, constantly thanking God is so much better than living it down in the dumps, not getting my hopes up. I say get your hopes up as high as you can get em' and thank God in advance for his incredible moving in your life. Get rid of the old attitude and choose to have a better one.
Do that, and Jesus will fill you with new wine, even if you're a Salvationist.
I LOVE IT! It's really opening my eyes and showing me a side of God that I have forgotten about. The part of God that truly wants the best for me and wants me to be happy. I have had a saying for the past little while. "I think God has called me to a job that I'm not going to like." I'm starting to realize how wrong I am and how I have completed forgotten about the character of the God that I serve. God wants to bless me more than I could ever dream, and If I could see all that God has in store for me, it would blow my mind! I love God, and I've never stopped loving him, but I think part of me forgot why I love him. I love him because of who he is. He is Love. I love him because of his amazing character and his nature as my creator. I don't love him for what he's done, but I love him because of what motivates him to be so amazing and incredible. (thanks des, you're blog opened my eyes to that) I've also come to the realization that I need to start expecting great things to happen to me. In the book I've been reading, Osteen refers to a passage of scripture in which Jesus says, "You can't pour new wine into old wineskins." I've read this passage before and it never really sunk into my brain. But I now realize what Jesus was saying. When new wine is poured into a wineskin, the wineskin stretches out and looses its tightness. If you pour new wine into an old wineskin, the wineskin will burst, because it will have no more room to expand. Jesus is not going to pour blessings and fresh ideas into old attitudes. I've had a pesimistic attitude and I have expected that life is going to be hard. I've been meditating on the fact that we don't make alot of money, that getting a home is going to be nearly impossible for us anytime in the near future, that my job isn't going the way I want it to, and I've been dwelling on the impossibilities of my situations instead of praying expectantly that God is going to pour new wine into my life. I have made the decision to change my thinking, and I know that through this, God is going to change my life. I had fallen into the habit of feeling guilty all the time. I've tricked myself into thinking that every decision I make is the wrong one and that God is going to smite me because of it. I feel very freed by this renewel of my mind. It's a truth that I have known all my life but had lost grasp of. We say "God loves us" all the time, but if we really thought about that and believed it, then we would have no trouble tithing, our attitudes would be nothing short of excited and positive all the time, and spreading the gospel would be unavoidable for us. GOD LOVES US! And he wants to bless us. Not because we deserve it, but because he is just that crazy about us.
So I would like to publically thank God for my incredible job that fits me to a tee, the beautiful home I am going to own, the raise I'm going to receive at work, the joy I am going to maintain in my life, the Greencard I will soon hold in my hand, the unbelievable tangible and spiritual blessings that he is going to bestow upon me, because I have asked, I believe and I am his child. Some of you may be thinking, "What if nothing happens Kathy, what if you get your hopes up and nothing happens for you?"
I say, What if something does happen? Spending my life in eager expectancy, constantly thanking God is so much better than living it down in the dumps, not getting my hopes up. I say get your hopes up as high as you can get em' and thank God in advance for his incredible moving in your life. Get rid of the old attitude and choose to have a better one.
Do that, and Jesus will fill you with new wine, even if you're a Salvationist.
Saturday, April 09, 2005
Good-bye Hair
I got my hair all cut off yesterday. It was down my back and now it barely touches my shoulders. I love it! I woke up yesterday in a pretty down mood and decided, "That's it! I'm going to get my hair cut!" It was a bold move for me, because I have been growing it out long for over a year, but I wasn't doing anything with it. I'd just wake up every morning, shower, and put it back in a pony tail. I wasn't using the hair that I grew so what was the point in having it weigh me down. Mmmm..Sounds like a spiritual analogy...Maybe for another time!
I went to a salon I had never been to before, in the mall close to my apartment. I walked in and said, "I want to chop my hair off." They checked the schedule and told me that a woman named Judy would cut my hair in 20 minutes. So I waited, and I prayed that Judy wouldn't ruin my head. Like I said, it was a big step and I wanted someone who really knew what they were doing. So about 35 minutes went by, and out walks this little woman in her 60's with a limp and she says, "Kathy Stock?"
I WAS SCARED TO DEATH! All around me were these young, trendy, hair dressers with fabulous hair and styles and I got grandma?!
So she asked me what I wanted done, and I began to tell her. She interrupted me and began to describe what she thought I wanted, and honestly, she was right on the money. We started going through the whole routine of washing and cutting and chatting. I told her I worked for the Salvation Army as an Evangelist and she went on to tell me that a good friend of hers was on the Advisory Board and that she was familiar with what we did. She then went on to tell me how her Salon Chair is her ministry, and that many people who have sat in that chair have listened intently to her share the gospel. She told me of struggles she had in her life and how God always saw her through. I told her I was new to Tallahassee and she gave me many words of encouragement. This woman at the hair salon was doing the job that I am paid to do, and she was doing it on me! She spent a lot of time on my hair, styling it and showing me different techniques, and when it was all over she didn't charge me for hardly anything. When I went to the counter and saw how little I had to pay she looked at me and said, "Welcome to Tallahassee." I hugged her and told her that I felt like God had made a divine appointment for me that day. It was a blessing at a much needed time, wrapped up in the kindness of a little 64 year old lady with a limp. My hair came out exactly how I wanted it too!
I've been in a bit of a funk lately. Everything has been weighing on me and I've been feeling so sorry for myself. Do you ever have one of those really bad attitudes that you know stinks but you just can't shake it? That's been me. I don't feel like I'm very good at my job, I don't have any passion or drive to do much of anything, I feel completely worn out and I haven't really been doing anything. I know that a lot of what I am feeling emotionally is effected by the mono and how I feel physically, but I hate using that as a crutch. At night, Jay has been working at the Homeless Coalition and I've been coming home alone. At first I loved having the time to myself, but the other night I realized that even if I did want to go out and do something with someone, I've got no one to call, and so I started getting pouty about that. "Boo Hoo I have no friends."
When I woke up and decided to get my hair cut, I wanted the change to reflect a change in attitude and direction and lifestyle. I don't know if that would have happened if I didn't meet Judy that day.
It's funny how God gives you what you need in places you wouldn't expect.
I went to a salon I had never been to before, in the mall close to my apartment. I walked in and said, "I want to chop my hair off." They checked the schedule and told me that a woman named Judy would cut my hair in 20 minutes. So I waited, and I prayed that Judy wouldn't ruin my head. Like I said, it was a big step and I wanted someone who really knew what they were doing. So about 35 minutes went by, and out walks this little woman in her 60's with a limp and she says, "Kathy Stock?"
I WAS SCARED TO DEATH! All around me were these young, trendy, hair dressers with fabulous hair and styles and I got grandma?!
So she asked me what I wanted done, and I began to tell her. She interrupted me and began to describe what she thought I wanted, and honestly, she was right on the money. We started going through the whole routine of washing and cutting and chatting. I told her I worked for the Salvation Army as an Evangelist and she went on to tell me that a good friend of hers was on the Advisory Board and that she was familiar with what we did. She then went on to tell me how her Salon Chair is her ministry, and that many people who have sat in that chair have listened intently to her share the gospel. She told me of struggles she had in her life and how God always saw her through. I told her I was new to Tallahassee and she gave me many words of encouragement. This woman at the hair salon was doing the job that I am paid to do, and she was doing it on me! She spent a lot of time on my hair, styling it and showing me different techniques, and when it was all over she didn't charge me for hardly anything. When I went to the counter and saw how little I had to pay she looked at me and said, "Welcome to Tallahassee." I hugged her and told her that I felt like God had made a divine appointment for me that day. It was a blessing at a much needed time, wrapped up in the kindness of a little 64 year old lady with a limp. My hair came out exactly how I wanted it too!
I've been in a bit of a funk lately. Everything has been weighing on me and I've been feeling so sorry for myself. Do you ever have one of those really bad attitudes that you know stinks but you just can't shake it? That's been me. I don't feel like I'm very good at my job, I don't have any passion or drive to do much of anything, I feel completely worn out and I haven't really been doing anything. I know that a lot of what I am feeling emotionally is effected by the mono and how I feel physically, but I hate using that as a crutch. At night, Jay has been working at the Homeless Coalition and I've been coming home alone. At first I loved having the time to myself, but the other night I realized that even if I did want to go out and do something with someone, I've got no one to call, and so I started getting pouty about that. "Boo Hoo I have no friends."
When I woke up and decided to get my hair cut, I wanted the change to reflect a change in attitude and direction and lifestyle. I don't know if that would have happened if I didn't meet Judy that day.
It's funny how God gives you what you need in places you wouldn't expect.
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
Jay on the World Wide Web
Hey Everyone
My brilliant husband who is usually not a fan of computers or anything they do, has begun putting his amazing thoughts down in blog form!
(I like to think I had a little hand in the inspiration process!)
You should definatly check it out! You can get to it by clicking on his sexy name on the side of this screen.
Make sure you leave him lots of comments!!
Yesterday was the 2 year anniversary of our engagement...feel's like forever ago! I guess most newly weds don't move three times and settle in two diiferent countries in their first year and a half of marriage.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger...and adds mileage to your Tacoma!
Through everything we've grown stronger as a unit, and I've watched my husband change and become more and more incredible everyday. Since coming to Tallahassee he has done so much for the Lord's kingdom. The corps here has seen about 30 new people over the past three months. Some have stayed, some have decided that our church is not for them (which is fine. I praise God for the many biblical demonations in the world) but 99.9% of everyone new who has walked through our doors has done so because of God working through Jason. I was sitting at the piano one Sunday when we were particularly littered with new faces, and I could point to just about all of them and say how Jason's outreach had brought them to church. He's become the master of relationships and relating to people from all walks of life. Blows my mind!
I praise God for the work that he is doing through this guy. It's funny how Jason's past of bad decisions and at times, devastation, has made him able to relate with anyone, anywhere, anytime. God's work through him is literally changing our city.
I'm feeling alot better, and I now have health insurance. Great timing. The fatigue part of this whole sickness is very inconvenient. I may hang a hammock on the end of my desk at work.
Anyway, Check out Jay's blog. It's great!
My brilliant husband who is usually not a fan of computers or anything they do, has begun putting his amazing thoughts down in blog form!
(I like to think I had a little hand in the inspiration process!)
You should definatly check it out! You can get to it by clicking on his sexy name on the side of this screen.
Make sure you leave him lots of comments!!
Yesterday was the 2 year anniversary of our engagement...feel's like forever ago! I guess most newly weds don't move three times and settle in two diiferent countries in their first year and a half of marriage.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger...and adds mileage to your Tacoma!
Through everything we've grown stronger as a unit, and I've watched my husband change and become more and more incredible everyday. Since coming to Tallahassee he has done so much for the Lord's kingdom. The corps here has seen about 30 new people over the past three months. Some have stayed, some have decided that our church is not for them (which is fine. I praise God for the many biblical demonations in the world) but 99.9% of everyone new who has walked through our doors has done so because of God working through Jason. I was sitting at the piano one Sunday when we were particularly littered with new faces, and I could point to just about all of them and say how Jason's outreach had brought them to church. He's become the master of relationships and relating to people from all walks of life. Blows my mind!
I praise God for the work that he is doing through this guy. It's funny how Jason's past of bad decisions and at times, devastation, has made him able to relate with anyone, anywhere, anytime. God's work through him is literally changing our city.
I'm feeling alot better, and I now have health insurance. Great timing. The fatigue part of this whole sickness is very inconvenient. I may hang a hammock on the end of my desk at work.
Anyway, Check out Jay's blog. It's great!
Running from the Devil
Since my last entry, I sat down with God and had a good talk. But then when I was done talking, I listened. I began to think new thoughts, which I know were placed in my brain by God. While speaking to him I kept repeating how I don't know how people live without him. I literally have no clue how people can walk around this world and not have Christ. I'd be a basket case! God showed me how that truth needs to be my inspiration in life. Spreading the gospel, not primarily so that people don't "BURN IN THE LAKE OF FIRE FOR ETERNITY" (eeek) but so that they don't have to live another second without Jesus. People are not walking around this world thinking, "How do I keep myself from burning forever when I die?" but instead they are thinking, "What's my purpose? Why am I so lonely? What does this all mean?"
The great thing about someone accepting Christ is that they can know Him and be with Him, live with purpose and eventually meet Him face to face. This approach to evangelism is so much more effective than, "Hey you, accept Christ or you're gonna burn and I don't want your blood on my hands, so since this all about me and you not burning, better commit to this guy you know nothing about."
Now that I have rekindled this understanding of spreading the gospel, I will be a more effective witness and light for Jesus Christ. I guess it's simply like choosing between saying, "Come to Jesus and live!" or, "Come to Jesus or DIE!"
I choose option A.
My husband is a phenomenal salesman. He ranked among the top sales people in the company he use to work for. He says the reason why he was good at his job was because he believed in what he was selling and he was passionate about it. There were some pieces of equipment in his store that he thought were garbage, and had alot of trouble selling them. He just didn't believe in them. He found it easier to sell more high-end, expensive stuff that he knew was top of the line. He focused his energy on telling the customer about the positive benefits of the good equipment. It's easier to use, low maintenance, longer life, safer, delivers better results. He didn't stand there and say, "You should buy this treadmill, because the other one you were looking at is built poorly, it's going to tear up your shoes, it won't last very long, the motor stinks, it's not safe.....blah, blah, blah."
This technique would leave the customer knowing nothing about the treadmill Jason was trying to sell, but instead they would have a head full of negativity and their time would be wasted. A customer doesn't stick around a store very long, so the sales approach has to be positive, effective and informative about what they should do and the positive effect it will have on their lives. It helps if the person can speak from personal experience.
I think we as Christians, especially as Salvationists, spend alot of time focusing on 'hell avoidance.' It is true that you can not get to heaven except by the Son of God, but do we want to scare a bunch of people into Salvation or do we want to attract people to unconditional love, forgiveness, peace and joy? People today associate Fire and Brimstone preaching with a cold and out-to-lunch church that just wants to be right. I say we show people Jesus so they can know whether or not they want to know this man and allow him to rule their lives. You and I know that if they can REALLY see Jesus in us and through us, they won't be able to say anything but, "Yes, I want to know this man, I want to love this man, and I someday want to meet this man named Jesus."
People want Jesus, and alot of them are already living in their own personal hell. Let's show them the light instead of making them afraid of the dark. That way we will see Christians who not only despise sin, but love Jesus Christ more than anything.
The great thing about someone accepting Christ is that they can know Him and be with Him, live with purpose and eventually meet Him face to face. This approach to evangelism is so much more effective than, "Hey you, accept Christ or you're gonna burn and I don't want your blood on my hands, so since this all about me and you not burning, better commit to this guy you know nothing about."
Now that I have rekindled this understanding of spreading the gospel, I will be a more effective witness and light for Jesus Christ. I guess it's simply like choosing between saying, "Come to Jesus and live!" or, "Come to Jesus or DIE!"
I choose option A.
My husband is a phenomenal salesman. He ranked among the top sales people in the company he use to work for. He says the reason why he was good at his job was because he believed in what he was selling and he was passionate about it. There were some pieces of equipment in his store that he thought were garbage, and had alot of trouble selling them. He just didn't believe in them. He found it easier to sell more high-end, expensive stuff that he knew was top of the line. He focused his energy on telling the customer about the positive benefits of the good equipment. It's easier to use, low maintenance, longer life, safer, delivers better results. He didn't stand there and say, "You should buy this treadmill, because the other one you were looking at is built poorly, it's going to tear up your shoes, it won't last very long, the motor stinks, it's not safe.....blah, blah, blah."
This technique would leave the customer knowing nothing about the treadmill Jason was trying to sell, but instead they would have a head full of negativity and their time would be wasted. A customer doesn't stick around a store very long, so the sales approach has to be positive, effective and informative about what they should do and the positive effect it will have on their lives. It helps if the person can speak from personal experience.
I think we as Christians, especially as Salvationists, spend alot of time focusing on 'hell avoidance.' It is true that you can not get to heaven except by the Son of God, but do we want to scare a bunch of people into Salvation or do we want to attract people to unconditional love, forgiveness, peace and joy? People today associate Fire and Brimstone preaching with a cold and out-to-lunch church that just wants to be right. I say we show people Jesus so they can know whether or not they want to know this man and allow him to rule their lives. You and I know that if they can REALLY see Jesus in us and through us, they won't be able to say anything but, "Yes, I want to know this man, I want to love this man, and I someday want to meet this man named Jesus."
People want Jesus, and alot of them are already living in their own personal hell. Let's show them the light instead of making them afraid of the dark. That way we will see Christians who not only despise sin, but love Jesus Christ more than anything.
Saturday, April 02, 2005
Late Night Ramblings
It's really late. Well, late for me anyways. I can't sleep tonight, which is wierd cause I've done nothing but sleep for a really long time. I guess it's all catching up with me. I've got lots of things on my mind tonight. I feel awful that I've missed so much work, even though I know I was physically unable to go. I've always had this problem of wanting everyone around me to be OK with my life and my decisions. It's wierd and it is the number one thing that I would change about myself. I find myself wanting to go around and justify to everyone just how sick I was and how I really needed the rest so people won't think that I am lazy or weak. I talked to my friend Johnny about this problem and he gave me some wonderful pearls of wisdom. He said, "Kathy, there are people in this world who if you pooped out Gold for them, they'd complain because you had to poop it out."
As 'stinky' as this analogy may be, he was absolutly right. I just wish there was a way to please everyone, all of the time and still be happy yourself. But I guess there's only one perfect place and it's in another realm.
Another thought that I am wrestling with is about the Salvation Army. I guess I've been a bit discouraged by it even though the corps in Tallahassee is growing leaps and bounds. As a young Salvationist, the last thing that I want to be is an Army basher. There's too much of that going on already. I am a firm believer that problems shouldn't be brought up unless there are solutions to follow and that people shouldn't complain abou something if their not going to get their hands dirty to fix it. Since coming to the Army in America, I've learned many things. It is a VERY different Army than I am use to, a much more difficult one to be a part of in all honesty, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Anything worth being a part of is worth fighting for. The mission and the history and the drive of people to spread the gospel are why I became a soldier however, I've been hurt more by people in the Army then in any other walk of life, which is why I praise God that I have learned early on that the Army is not what I have a problem with, but it is the people and the decisions. Like any organization, the Army can not be run by hampsters, so if I choose to be a member of this 'movement' I must make peace with those who run it. There my friends, lies my problem. I have been having a grim outlook lately as to where the Army is being taken. There is much 'talk' and much good intention to bring the Army back and make it about the people again, but the talk is much bigger than the movement. I know that God is raising up a new Army. I've seen indivduals from different parts of North America develop the same passions and drives for an evangelistic Army, and the only way it is possible for all of these strangers to share the same passion is The Holy Spirit. I'm encouraged by what I see Salvationists discovering and the steps that are being made towards a radical and Hazardous church that really 'impacts' the world for God. I guess I'm overwhelmed by how much work there is to be done and how the ripple effect that I see occuring in the waters of the Army are so small. I guess I want a 6 second ABS kind of Army. A 6 second Army. I want change NOW! The Army is such a burocracy that those on the front lines have very little to no voice yet they are the ones with the vision and the drive for an effective Army. People tell Jason and I all the time that our thoughts and fears and annoyances with this 'establishment' are exactly why we need to stick with it and come into a position where we can make decisions to change it for the better, but alot of the time our discouragement outweighs our drive and we wonder if we are in the right denomination. Here is what I have learned from writing all of these thoughts down. (this is why I blog...i learn alot more about myself)
1) I don't have a problem with "The Salvation Army", I have a problem with where people have taken it and where it will inevidably end up if our focus remains "country club" and not "reaching people, anyway possible."
2) I need am completely committed to my job as a Salvation Army Mission Specialist here in Tallahassee because this position allows me the unique privelege of being paid to tell people about Jesus and that's it! I'm not an assistant or a youth worker or a music director...I am literally paid to tell people about Christ and invite them to church and it is working! The numbers speak for themselves! Praise God!
3) I need to continue to PRAY long and hard for this Army, my role in it, the movement that is taking place, the leadership that is established and my prayer will be just as that of William Booth. I can't remember the General's exact words, but he said that if the Army stopped doing what it was raised up to do he would pray that God would put an end to it. More famously, William Booth said the following:
"While women weep as they do now, I’ll fight; while little children go hungry as they do now, I’ll fight; while men go to prison, in and out, in and out, as they do now, I’ll fight; while there is a drunkard left, while there is a poor lost girl on the streets, while there remains one dark soul without the light of God, I’ll fight – I’ll fight to the very end."
I believe we need to pick our battles, and people are worth fighting for...every single time. I hope and pray that over the next 20 months of my employment with The Salvation Army that I will see an Army that actually fights, that takes more time to make relationships with the unsaved from every walk of life, that DOES just as much as it SAYS and spends more money on meeting the physical needs of the poor than it does on 'US' stuff like retreats and hand scanners at DHQ. Show me that Army and I will fight in it, either way I'll fight the good fight of faith and try my best to share Jesus with everyone I meet. I'm thankful that God has placed us here with fresh new leaders and so much ground work to be done.
Wow this is a really long winded and slightly controversial entry for me. Hope I didn't come across as being too whinny...just had to get all of that off my chest.
To end on a positive note...MY THROAT IS NORMAL SIZE AGAIN! WAHOO! I hope I can spread Jesus without spreading Mono.
As 'stinky' as this analogy may be, he was absolutly right. I just wish there was a way to please everyone, all of the time and still be happy yourself. But I guess there's only one perfect place and it's in another realm.
Another thought that I am wrestling with is about the Salvation Army. I guess I've been a bit discouraged by it even though the corps in Tallahassee is growing leaps and bounds. As a young Salvationist, the last thing that I want to be is an Army basher. There's too much of that going on already. I am a firm believer that problems shouldn't be brought up unless there are solutions to follow and that people shouldn't complain abou something if their not going to get their hands dirty to fix it. Since coming to the Army in America, I've learned many things. It is a VERY different Army than I am use to, a much more difficult one to be a part of in all honesty, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Anything worth being a part of is worth fighting for. The mission and the history and the drive of people to spread the gospel are why I became a soldier however, I've been hurt more by people in the Army then in any other walk of life, which is why I praise God that I have learned early on that the Army is not what I have a problem with, but it is the people and the decisions. Like any organization, the Army can not be run by hampsters, so if I choose to be a member of this 'movement' I must make peace with those who run it. There my friends, lies my problem. I have been having a grim outlook lately as to where the Army is being taken. There is much 'talk' and much good intention to bring the Army back and make it about the people again, but the talk is much bigger than the movement. I know that God is raising up a new Army. I've seen indivduals from different parts of North America develop the same passions and drives for an evangelistic Army, and the only way it is possible for all of these strangers to share the same passion is The Holy Spirit. I'm encouraged by what I see Salvationists discovering and the steps that are being made towards a radical and Hazardous church that really 'impacts' the world for God. I guess I'm overwhelmed by how much work there is to be done and how the ripple effect that I see occuring in the waters of the Army are so small. I guess I want a 6 second ABS kind of Army. A 6 second Army. I want change NOW! The Army is such a burocracy that those on the front lines have very little to no voice yet they are the ones with the vision and the drive for an effective Army. People tell Jason and I all the time that our thoughts and fears and annoyances with this 'establishment' are exactly why we need to stick with it and come into a position where we can make decisions to change it for the better, but alot of the time our discouragement outweighs our drive and we wonder if we are in the right denomination. Here is what I have learned from writing all of these thoughts down. (this is why I blog...i learn alot more about myself)
1) I don't have a problem with "The Salvation Army", I have a problem with where people have taken it and where it will inevidably end up if our focus remains "country club" and not "reaching people, anyway possible."
2) I need am completely committed to my job as a Salvation Army Mission Specialist here in Tallahassee because this position allows me the unique privelege of being paid to tell people about Jesus and that's it! I'm not an assistant or a youth worker or a music director...I am literally paid to tell people about Christ and invite them to church and it is working! The numbers speak for themselves! Praise God!
3) I need to continue to PRAY long and hard for this Army, my role in it, the movement that is taking place, the leadership that is established and my prayer will be just as that of William Booth. I can't remember the General's exact words, but he said that if the Army stopped doing what it was raised up to do he would pray that God would put an end to it. More famously, William Booth said the following:
"While women weep as they do now, I’ll fight; while little children go hungry as they do now, I’ll fight; while men go to prison, in and out, in and out, as they do now, I’ll fight; while there is a drunkard left, while there is a poor lost girl on the streets, while there remains one dark soul without the light of God, I’ll fight – I’ll fight to the very end."
I believe we need to pick our battles, and people are worth fighting for...every single time. I hope and pray that over the next 20 months of my employment with The Salvation Army that I will see an Army that actually fights, that takes more time to make relationships with the unsaved from every walk of life, that DOES just as much as it SAYS and spends more money on meeting the physical needs of the poor than it does on 'US' stuff like retreats and hand scanners at DHQ. Show me that Army and I will fight in it, either way I'll fight the good fight of faith and try my best to share Jesus with everyone I meet. I'm thankful that God has placed us here with fresh new leaders and so much ground work to be done.
Wow this is a really long winded and slightly controversial entry for me. Hope I didn't come across as being too whinny...just had to get all of that off my chest.
To end on a positive note...MY THROAT IS NORMAL SIZE AGAIN! WAHOO! I hope I can spread Jesus without spreading Mono.
Thursday, March 31, 2005
Feeling so much better today!
PRAISE THE LORD! Things weren't looking good, but you're thoughts and prayers got me through the darkness and into the light! WAHOO! I can talk and I don't sound like my voicebox is being crushed! Hopefully I will be back to work on Monday. Good thing too cause we're starvin over here! (kidding)
This is a quickee, just wanted to let my friends know that I am ALIVE! Thank you to people who called and left messages of hope. I was pretty down. I leave you with a quote:
"...the goal of education and formation for the ministry
is continually to recognize the Lord's voice,
his face, and his touch in every person we meet."
(Henri Nouwen)
This is a quickee, just wanted to let my friends know that I am ALIVE! Thank you to people who called and left messages of hope. I was pretty down. I leave you with a quote:
"...the goal of education and formation for the ministry
is continually to recognize the Lord's voice,
his face, and his touch in every person we meet."
(Henri Nouwen)
Monday, March 28, 2005
Mono = House Arrest
On St. Patricks Day (March 17th) I developed a fever. I took it easy for the next couple of days, waking up on Sunday to find that my glands were very swollen and puffy. On Monday, my husband took me to the doctor, where Dr. Peters prescribed pencillian and plenty of rest. In the days to follow, my throat became more and more swelled until breathing and swallowing had become somewhat difficult. Saturday we returned to the doctors office where they administered a Mono test and guess what? I Passed with flying colours. They gave me a shot in my right cheek (not the one on my face) and told me that I would have to wait it out for the next 6 weeks.
Needless to say, I spent Easter morning alone at home and i've been in alot of pain for the past few days. Today the doctor called in some Codeine for me, and that has made today very enjoyable.
I feel terrible about missing so much work. This is such a crucial time for my student ministry and there was so much I had planned to do. I was very excited about getting out into the community in the next couple of weeks. Things had been kind of at a stand still for a while because I didn't have a car, but then God supplied that need. I was so excited about getting on campus and promoting the SASF, starting 'Sunday's Cool' and really pounding the pavement. I guess I can still do that stuff if I hollar, "Unclean!Unclean!" everywhere I go. I miss civilization.
I don't know what I would do without Jason. Part of me has been trying to figure out where I contracted this illness. I just pray that whoever I caught it from is receiving the same love, affection and care that I am from my amazing husband. I really don't know what I would do or where I would be without him.
I'd like to solicite prayer if I could. I've been feeling really bad physically and God has taken me pretty far just in the past couple of days. Also, pray that Jason nor anyone else around me gets what I have. I wouldn't wish this on man or beast. Melissa, I would publically like to apologize to you for making fun of you when you had Mono way back in the day. This is no fun. Thanks for calling the other day. I love hearing from you.
That's it till next time. Leave me a comment. Do it!
Needless to say, I spent Easter morning alone at home and i've been in alot of pain for the past few days. Today the doctor called in some Codeine for me, and that has made today very enjoyable.
I feel terrible about missing so much work. This is such a crucial time for my student ministry and there was so much I had planned to do. I was very excited about getting out into the community in the next couple of weeks. Things had been kind of at a stand still for a while because I didn't have a car, but then God supplied that need. I was so excited about getting on campus and promoting the SASF, starting 'Sunday's Cool' and really pounding the pavement. I guess I can still do that stuff if I hollar, "Unclean!Unclean!" everywhere I go. I miss civilization.
I don't know what I would do without Jason. Part of me has been trying to figure out where I contracted this illness. I just pray that whoever I caught it from is receiving the same love, affection and care that I am from my amazing husband. I really don't know what I would do or where I would be without him.
I'd like to solicite prayer if I could. I've been feeling really bad physically and God has taken me pretty far just in the past couple of days. Also, pray that Jason nor anyone else around me gets what I have. I wouldn't wish this on man or beast. Melissa, I would publically like to apologize to you for making fun of you when you had Mono way back in the day. This is no fun. Thanks for calling the other day. I love hearing from you.
That's it till next time. Leave me a comment. Do it!
Friday, March 25, 2005
Good Friday
Good Friday. I am never satisfied with the way that I observe this day each year. How in the world do you observe such an occasion correctly? How do you give it the respect and the honor it deserves?
After observing "The Passion of The Christ" last year (during its overwhelming fame and controversy)I was deeply moved. I don't want to say that the movie 'changed my life' because Jesus did that far before the movie came out, however it did make it easier for my mind to wrap around the feelings and emotions of the people in those days. Mostly, in the middle of bawling like a baby, I felt a strange amount of relief, that I felt so much pain for my Lord. Sometimes it's easy to talk about the sacrifice that Jesus made for us as though there are words to describe it. Before witnessing this film last year, I was afraid what I might feel. What if I wasn't moved? What if I didn't feel? What if I didn't fit the mold of the other Christians around me who saw it and felt such emotion? Instead I found myself in the middle of the theater, in anguish, wanting to scream, "STOP IT!" at the top of my lungs. No film has ever impacted me like that and no film ever will after. Which leads me to the present Good Friday, which I find myself in the middle of. I am feeling sick (strep throat) which automatically puts me in a position where I am thinking about myself and how bad I feel. Having recognized this early in the day I've decided to knock that off.
I've been looking at the world around me and I am having a similar feeling today as I did a year ago in the theater. I want to scream, "STOP IT!"
I've been very angry this morning because from my couch the world is not observing the death of my Savior. It's still going at the same speed and doing the same things. Sports are still on TV and people are still going to see the new Friday movies. We have about 50 something channels I guess, and not one of them said anything about the passing of my Lord. I was mortified.
My husband had taken our Dog to the park. When he got home I shared with him my sadness as to Good Friday and the lack of respect it receives from the world, basing my opinion only on the media. Turns out, Jason met up with a few Christian friends at a coffee shop in the middle of the park. He said to me, "This morning in the coffee shop, it seemed as though everyone around me was talking about God. Either how much they loved him, or how mad they were at him or how much they didn't understand him."
He even ended up talking about Christ with a homosexual man who was desperately searching for something to believe in. So what have I learned...
I've learned that the only way to celebrate someone's life is to embrace their legacy and their reason for living. Jesus made it quite obvious to us what he wanted us to do (this was after he had died, risen again and hung out on earth for a little while.) He gave us the great commission, and even if though the world tries to tell us all that God isn't real and isn't a subject of interest, a coffee shop in the middle of Tallahassee where my husband can take our Dog and enjoy a cup of Joe, tells me other wise. Jesus is alive and people desperately need Him.
"The Passion of The Christ."
After observing "The Passion of The Christ" last year (during its overwhelming fame and controversy)I was deeply moved. I don't want to say that the movie 'changed my life' because Jesus did that far before the movie came out, however it did make it easier for my mind to wrap around the feelings and emotions of the people in those days. Mostly, in the middle of bawling like a baby, I felt a strange amount of relief, that I felt so much pain for my Lord. Sometimes it's easy to talk about the sacrifice that Jesus made for us as though there are words to describe it. Before witnessing this film last year, I was afraid what I might feel. What if I wasn't moved? What if I didn't feel? What if I didn't fit the mold of the other Christians around me who saw it and felt such emotion? Instead I found myself in the middle of the theater, in anguish, wanting to scream, "STOP IT!" at the top of my lungs. No film has ever impacted me like that and no film ever will after. Which leads me to the present Good Friday, which I find myself in the middle of. I am feeling sick (strep throat) which automatically puts me in a position where I am thinking about myself and how bad I feel. Having recognized this early in the day I've decided to knock that off.
I've been looking at the world around me and I am having a similar feeling today as I did a year ago in the theater. I want to scream, "STOP IT!"
I've been very angry this morning because from my couch the world is not observing the death of my Savior. It's still going at the same speed and doing the same things. Sports are still on TV and people are still going to see the new Friday movies. We have about 50 something channels I guess, and not one of them said anything about the passing of my Lord. I was mortified.
My husband had taken our Dog to the park. When he got home I shared with him my sadness as to Good Friday and the lack of respect it receives from the world, basing my opinion only on the media. Turns out, Jason met up with a few Christian friends at a coffee shop in the middle of the park. He said to me, "This morning in the coffee shop, it seemed as though everyone around me was talking about God. Either how much they loved him, or how mad they were at him or how much they didn't understand him."
He even ended up talking about Christ with a homosexual man who was desperately searching for something to believe in. So what have I learned...
I've learned that the only way to celebrate someone's life is to embrace their legacy and their reason for living. Jesus made it quite obvious to us what he wanted us to do (this was after he had died, risen again and hung out on earth for a little while.) He gave us the great commission, and even if though the world tries to tell us all that God isn't real and isn't a subject of interest, a coffee shop in the middle of Tallahassee where my husband can take our Dog and enjoy a cup of Joe, tells me other wise. Jesus is alive and people desperately need Him.
"The Passion of The Christ."
Sunday, March 20, 2005
Fevers are a good thing
Hello there comrads!
This entry probably will not have a point or purpose except to give me something to do, because this is my 4th consecutive day locked in my apartment. I have this weird quickly rising and droping fever thing that just won't quit. One minute, 102...next minute, 98.6...one minute, freezing(brr)....next minute, sweating (PHEW!) It's been a pretty miserable last couple of days, but i've learned alot about fevers, given that i've had a plethora of time on my hands.
For example:
1) Fevers are a good thing. At least ones that are as low as mine. It means that my body is trying to fight something off before it can hurt me, like a virus or a bacteria. THANKS BODY!
2) You should not cover up when you have a fever but should instead wear cool clothes and only cover yourself in a sheet. I didn't know that before! It's really been the oddest sickness i've ever had.
We threw a St. Patricks day party at the local homeless shelter on Thursday. I went regardless of my feeling under the weather and it turned out to be WONDERFUL. We decorated and served green cake, icecream, cookies and even tea! It was great fun and we had ALOT more people then we anticipated which is always nice! We ran out of pretty much everything but no one seemed to mind. I had Newfoundland music playing in the background and two people started to do a jig! It reminded me so much of home. It was awesome. Praise God for his amazingness! I believe he was there doing a jig too!
I could not go to church today. That's not a good thing. Ya know how some mornings you wake up and you really don't want to go to church...well this morning I woke up and really wanted to go, but I feel pretty gross. Keep Kathy in your prayers!
What else is new...Mmmm, well COPS was a "Tazed and Confused" episode last night. Always a classic. Jay and I rented the movie "RAY." I always wonder how accurate biographical movies like that are. It was good. My dog ate a pen. I saw it this morning...outside...if ya know what I mean. HAHA!
Well since this is going nowhere fast I am going to go lie down. But in closing may I just say that my husband has done nothing but wait on me hand and foot. He has been taking SUCH good care of me. He's been up at all hours of the night with me and he has gone to the store to get me juce at ridiculous times. He has put many cold cloths on my head and thermometers in my mouth these past couple of days. He even cancelled going on a fishing trip so that he could stay home and be with me.
He is my angel and I love him more than anyone could ever fathom.
If you have read this entry, please leave a 'poor baby' comment so that I may feel better knowing that I am being pitied. Heehee.
LOVE!
-Kathy
This entry probably will not have a point or purpose except to give me something to do, because this is my 4th consecutive day locked in my apartment. I have this weird quickly rising and droping fever thing that just won't quit. One minute, 102...next minute, 98.6...one minute, freezing(brr)....next minute, sweating (PHEW!) It's been a pretty miserable last couple of days, but i've learned alot about fevers, given that i've had a plethora of time on my hands.
For example:
1) Fevers are a good thing. At least ones that are as low as mine. It means that my body is trying to fight something off before it can hurt me, like a virus or a bacteria. THANKS BODY!
2) You should not cover up when you have a fever but should instead wear cool clothes and only cover yourself in a sheet. I didn't know that before! It's really been the oddest sickness i've ever had.
We threw a St. Patricks day party at the local homeless shelter on Thursday. I went regardless of my feeling under the weather and it turned out to be WONDERFUL. We decorated and served green cake, icecream, cookies and even tea! It was great fun and we had ALOT more people then we anticipated which is always nice! We ran out of pretty much everything but no one seemed to mind. I had Newfoundland music playing in the background and two people started to do a jig! It reminded me so much of home. It was awesome. Praise God for his amazingness! I believe he was there doing a jig too!
I could not go to church today. That's not a good thing. Ya know how some mornings you wake up and you really don't want to go to church...well this morning I woke up and really wanted to go, but I feel pretty gross. Keep Kathy in your prayers!
What else is new...Mmmm, well COPS was a "Tazed and Confused" episode last night. Always a classic. Jay and I rented the movie "RAY." I always wonder how accurate biographical movies like that are. It was good. My dog ate a pen. I saw it this morning...outside...if ya know what I mean. HAHA!
Well since this is going nowhere fast I am going to go lie down. But in closing may I just say that my husband has done nothing but wait on me hand and foot. He has been taking SUCH good care of me. He's been up at all hours of the night with me and he has gone to the store to get me juce at ridiculous times. He has put many cold cloths on my head and thermometers in my mouth these past couple of days. He even cancelled going on a fishing trip so that he could stay home and be with me.
He is my angel and I love him more than anyone could ever fathom.
If you have read this entry, please leave a 'poor baby' comment so that I may feel better knowing that I am being pitied. Heehee.
LOVE!
-Kathy
Monday, March 14, 2005
Love Inclusively. That's what I'm talkin about!
Hey everyone if anyone reads this...(lately I'm not sure) but either way it's great therapy for me! If you have not read my previous entry, please do and let me know what you think. I'm in the middle of studying God's will and what it is. I need any insight, book recommendations, inspirational quotes, a smack up the side of the head, anything that may aid the situation.
I wanted to give any SAMS people who read this and update as to what's going on in the Tallahassee Corps. OH MY GOSH! God is moving like a mighty force throughout this crazy town. Well, first of all, we love it here. We love the town, we love our new friends, we love that its 30 degrees (Celsius) in March...We love Tallahassee. But above and beyond that, we love that God has chosen us to be apart of his re-facing the army here in this town. On our first Sunday here, there were about 10 adults in the congregation and about 20 children. What a beautiful sea of children the army has here. They are AMAZING kids too. So warm and welcoming. They'd rather minister in a nursing home then go to the movies...But I'm getting side tracked by their coolness. Yesterday we had a little over 60 people in church! AH! God is just blessing this corps like crazy and the best part is, people are coming here from literally ALL walks of life. We have a large group of professional business people, we have homeless from the Shelter and the new HOPE community center, we have young families and some elderly. IT"S CRAZY! And we are all worshipping our God together. It's almost becoming this surreal utopia worship center where all people gather together. Now don't get me wrong, change always brings a little growing pains, but this past Sunday was an overwhelming experience for me because people seemed to leave their skepticism and their discomforts and their uncertainties at the door and we all just came together in His name. We had people here who had not been here in several months, and 10-12 who were here for the very first time. One was a family of 8 who are the most precious people you could ever imagine. It's been insane! It's been such a blessing for Jason and I to #1) invite people to church #2) have them show up and #3) Get paid to do it. Sometimes I feel guilty, but I know I should just feel blessed because having the time and ability to create these relationships is what God is blessing and the corps IS growing. PRAISE GOD! Our Tuesday night youth programs are growing too. I ask that you pray for the new members of our corps, that we may effectively meet their needs and fulfill the mission of the Southern Territory, "Salvationists of the Southern Territory USA are answering God's call to make radical followers of Jesus Christ who love inclusively, serve helpfully and disciple effectively in the communities where they live." I think I may have mixed up the order of the verbs but you know what I mean!
Yesterday after our amazing day in church, we had a potluck with all of the people, eating together and getting to know each other. Then Jason and I went to the beach with our dog and we took pictures of alligators. There's a sentence I thought I'd never say! Hey if you read this, leave me a comment to boost my self esteem. I determine my self-worth by my blogspot comments...Sniff sniff...
Ok, Ok maybe not but I'd love to know who reads this. Take care!
I wanted to give any SAMS people who read this and update as to what's going on in the Tallahassee Corps. OH MY GOSH! God is moving like a mighty force throughout this crazy town. Well, first of all, we love it here. We love the town, we love our new friends, we love that its 30 degrees (Celsius) in March...We love Tallahassee. But above and beyond that, we love that God has chosen us to be apart of his re-facing the army here in this town. On our first Sunday here, there were about 10 adults in the congregation and about 20 children. What a beautiful sea of children the army has here. They are AMAZING kids too. So warm and welcoming. They'd rather minister in a nursing home then go to the movies...But I'm getting side tracked by their coolness. Yesterday we had a little over 60 people in church! AH! God is just blessing this corps like crazy and the best part is, people are coming here from literally ALL walks of life. We have a large group of professional business people, we have homeless from the Shelter and the new HOPE community center, we have young families and some elderly. IT"S CRAZY! And we are all worshipping our God together. It's almost becoming this surreal utopia worship center where all people gather together. Now don't get me wrong, change always brings a little growing pains, but this past Sunday was an overwhelming experience for me because people seemed to leave their skepticism and their discomforts and their uncertainties at the door and we all just came together in His name. We had people here who had not been here in several months, and 10-12 who were here for the very first time. One was a family of 8 who are the most precious people you could ever imagine. It's been insane! It's been such a blessing for Jason and I to #1) invite people to church #2) have them show up and #3) Get paid to do it. Sometimes I feel guilty, but I know I should just feel blessed because having the time and ability to create these relationships is what God is blessing and the corps IS growing. PRAISE GOD! Our Tuesday night youth programs are growing too. I ask that you pray for the new members of our corps, that we may effectively meet their needs and fulfill the mission of the Southern Territory, "Salvationists of the Southern Territory USA are answering God's call to make radical followers of Jesus Christ who love inclusively, serve helpfully and disciple effectively in the communities where they live." I think I may have mixed up the order of the verbs but you know what I mean!
Yesterday after our amazing day in church, we had a potluck with all of the people, eating together and getting to know each other. Then Jason and I went to the beach with our dog and we took pictures of alligators. There's a sentence I thought I'd never say! Hey if you read this, leave me a comment to boost my self esteem. I determine my self-worth by my blogspot comments...Sniff sniff...
Ok, Ok maybe not but I'd love to know who reads this. Take care!
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
I need guidance...
Hi friends. Today's entry is a desperate cry for spiritual knowledge. I am finding myself completely perplexed as to ...Drum roll please......GOD'S WILL. What exactly is it? I know that God has called us to many things and scripture is filled with answers and direction as to what God wants us to do, but I want to know what God wants me to be. Specifically. So here's where I'm at: I love God, with all my heart. I would live a life of pure torture if he asked me to. If I knew that God wanted me to do something, regardless of my feelings, I would do it. I can truly say that I would. The issue is not my dedication or my willingness to obey and follow, but instead it is my lack of clarity and my second guessing everything. "Is that God, or is it me?," "Is this just how I am feeling today, or is it God trying to tell me something?" AH!
So here's my question(s):
-Does God call us to be specific things (ie: Doctors, Lawyers, business owners, Salvation Army Officers) or does he give us likes and dislikes, passions and talents to guide our way to what he wants us to be?
-If God's will is occupation specific, how in the world do you determine between God's will and our feelings?
- If God's will is occupationally and situationally specific, how does our free will come into play?
Okay. That's pretty much it for the questions. Please, anybody, leave your input and suggestions.
Life is great. We're nestling well into this city. There was a huge storm and Tornado warning last night which scared my newfie pants off but today it is sunny and beautiful again. Similar to life I suppose.
I've been studying Genesis lately in detail because I am trying to teach my pre-teen bible class the old testament in chronological order. I've found I almost learn more as a teacher then I do as a student. I've been studying Genesis for my Sunday scholar's and Deuteronomy for myself. Those silly Israelites.
Due to the SAMS ministry and God's spirit moving through it, we are going to have 20 people here this coming Sunday who had not even heard of The 'church' side of the Army two months ago. God is working amazing miracles through my husband who, everyday astounds me with his depth and his love for people. We have a family of 8 coming to our church this Sunday for the first time.
Pray for Tallahassee. God is moving, fast and furious.
So here's my question(s):
-Does God call us to be specific things (ie: Doctors, Lawyers, business owners, Salvation Army Officers) or does he give us likes and dislikes, passions and talents to guide our way to what he wants us to be?
-If God's will is occupation specific, how in the world do you determine between God's will and our feelings?
- If God's will is occupationally and situationally specific, how does our free will come into play?
Okay. That's pretty much it for the questions. Please, anybody, leave your input and suggestions.
Life is great. We're nestling well into this city. There was a huge storm and Tornado warning last night which scared my newfie pants off but today it is sunny and beautiful again. Similar to life I suppose.
I've been studying Genesis lately in detail because I am trying to teach my pre-teen bible class the old testament in chronological order. I've found I almost learn more as a teacher then I do as a student. I've been studying Genesis for my Sunday scholar's and Deuteronomy for myself. Those silly Israelites.
Due to the SAMS ministry and God's spirit moving through it, we are going to have 20 people here this coming Sunday who had not even heard of The 'church' side of the Army two months ago. God is working amazing miracles through my husband who, everyday astounds me with his depth and his love for people. We have a family of 8 coming to our church this Sunday for the first time.
Pray for Tallahassee. God is moving, fast and furious.
Thursday, March 03, 2005
I can't wait to give God a hug!
Lately I've found myself fantisizing about heaven. Not to worried, I am quite content being alive, but I've just been trying to fathom the coolness of heaven. I've found myself praying and thinking, 'when I get to heaven i am not going to ask God all of the burning questions that my mortal head can't wrap around, instead I simply want to fall on my face, worship and i really, really want a God hug.' How awesome would a hug from the Father be? My eyes tear up just thinking about such an amazing embrace and the mere thought of it overwhelms me! So I can't even think about meeting with the saints, the streets of gold, mansions in glory and endless delight, because if I did i wouldn't be able to function in my day to day tasks. Instead, I will think about my God hug, because everytime I do, everything around me becomes beautiful and I feel at peace.
Friday, February 25, 2005
Inspiration every where I look!
Well, I've been looking at everyone's blogs and I feel so encouraged by the passion and depth i see when it comes to the word of God.
I became a soldier in the Salvation Army in July, 2004 (independance day to be exact) after begin an 'adherent' in the Army my entire life. As a teen and young adult, I honestly wasn't a fan of the Army, because it appeared to me to be much like a country club for Christians who all dress the same.
I really wanted nothing to do with that. But something stronger than me maintained my relationship with The Army and its people.
When I moved to the USA I saw two things in the Army that I had never seen before. Firstly, I saw physically in front of me the, "Hand to God, heart to Man." People were being helped in times of need! I desperatly wanted to be apart of that but I struggled because I also saw (for the first time in the Army) arrogance. I felt more uncomfortable in a room filled with Salvationists and officers than anywhere else.
I struggled for a long time with wanting to be a part of the mission, but not feeling accepted in 'the club'. My husband and I questioned whether or not we were in the right denomination and we were confused as to where God wanted us to be. It was then that God began to do His divine thing. I began meeting people like you guys(you know who you are) and my mind started to change. God started to open the eyes of my heart to a completely new Army. I began to see beauty and new growth in everything and the more I read the blogs of my firey Salvationsiist friends, the more I want to be on board. God has literally lifted the lid for me so I can see the Army that is going back to it's roots, back to why it was raised up to be, back to being a church that reaches outside of acceptable middle class families with 2.5 children a dog and an S.U.V. Praise the Lord because they need Jesus too, and praise God because he has raised MANY churches to meet the needs of many people, but God raised this army up to be something that reaches the unreached, touches the untouched, loves the unloved and does it radically in the name of Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.
I just want to thank everyone who is using their blogs as inspiration. I have personally been uplifted by your messages and your insight. I have such intellectual friends! I am slightly intimidated by your brilliant minds but I want you to know that I am daily being taught and illuminated by your entries.
Thank you so much.
God Bless.
I became a soldier in the Salvation Army in July, 2004 (independance day to be exact) after begin an 'adherent' in the Army my entire life. As a teen and young adult, I honestly wasn't a fan of the Army, because it appeared to me to be much like a country club for Christians who all dress the same.
I really wanted nothing to do with that. But something stronger than me maintained my relationship with The Army and its people.
When I moved to the USA I saw two things in the Army that I had never seen before. Firstly, I saw physically in front of me the, "Hand to God, heart to Man." People were being helped in times of need! I desperatly wanted to be apart of that but I struggled because I also saw (for the first time in the Army) arrogance. I felt more uncomfortable in a room filled with Salvationists and officers than anywhere else.
I struggled for a long time with wanting to be a part of the mission, but not feeling accepted in 'the club'. My husband and I questioned whether or not we were in the right denomination and we were confused as to where God wanted us to be. It was then that God began to do His divine thing. I began meeting people like you guys(you know who you are) and my mind started to change. God started to open the eyes of my heart to a completely new Army. I began to see beauty and new growth in everything and the more I read the blogs of my firey Salvationsiist friends, the more I want to be on board. God has literally lifted the lid for me so I can see the Army that is going back to it's roots, back to why it was raised up to be, back to being a church that reaches outside of acceptable middle class families with 2.5 children a dog and an S.U.V. Praise the Lord because they need Jesus too, and praise God because he has raised MANY churches to meet the needs of many people, but God raised this army up to be something that reaches the unreached, touches the untouched, loves the unloved and does it radically in the name of Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.
I just want to thank everyone who is using their blogs as inspiration. I have personally been uplifted by your messages and your insight. I have such intellectual friends! I am slightly intimidated by your brilliant minds but I want you to know that I am daily being taught and illuminated by your entries.
Thank you so much.
God Bless.
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
What an Amazing Valentines Day!
The best Valentines Day EVER! Disney was amazing, so much more then I imagined. Apart from all of the crying children, it truly was the most magical place on earth!
We stayed at The Hilton in the Downtown Disney World Resort area. It was beautiful! We went to the Magic Kingdom on Sunday. WOW! It was great! We did Space Mountain, Splash Mountain, we did the tea cups and the Haunted Mansion and saw Cinderella's Castle. Everything I heard of, but never thought I would do. It was very overwhelming, in a good way. Disney World was so far out of my reach when I was a kid, so it truly was an incredible experience. On Monday we went to EPCOT center, where we did Mission Space. That one made me a little queezy, so then we walked around and had alot of fun in the various countries of the world. We had crepe's in Fraces and Cannoli's in Italy. We ate dinner in China and I had so much funnel cake in old time America that I threw up! IT WAS AWESOME! The light show was incredible and the whole experience just took my breath away. Jason is the most beautiful man I have ever known. He put the whole weekend together to make my dreams come true and he succeeded in doing just that. Gosh, I love him so much!
I'll post pictures soon.
Happy Valentines Day!
We stayed at The Hilton in the Downtown Disney World Resort area. It was beautiful! We went to the Magic Kingdom on Sunday. WOW! It was great! We did Space Mountain, Splash Mountain, we did the tea cups and the Haunted Mansion and saw Cinderella's Castle. Everything I heard of, but never thought I would do. It was very overwhelming, in a good way. Disney World was so far out of my reach when I was a kid, so it truly was an incredible experience. On Monday we went to EPCOT center, where we did Mission Space. That one made me a little queezy, so then we walked around and had alot of fun in the various countries of the world. We had crepe's in Fraces and Cannoli's in Italy. We ate dinner in China and I had so much funnel cake in old time America that I threw up! IT WAS AWESOME! The light show was incredible and the whole experience just took my breath away. Jason is the most beautiful man I have ever known. He put the whole weekend together to make my dreams come true and he succeeded in doing just that. Gosh, I love him so much!
I'll post pictures soon.
Happy Valentines Day!
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
DISNEY! WAHOO!
Ok, so me being a newfie girl have only ever dreamed of getting to Disney World. I remember seeing Laura and Steve in Disney World on "Family Matters." I remember watching the Disney World Christmas Parade every Christmas morning.
BUT NOW,THE JOY IS MINE! I am So overly excited about going to Disney World this weekend. Jason is taking me there for my Christmas/Valentines day present. We're going to drive down on the 12th and spend the 13th at the Magic Kingdom. Then we're going to spend the 14th at EPCOT and have dinner in Paris for V-day. RIGHT ON BUDDY!
Then we travel back on The 15th. It's really sad how happy I am. WAHOO!
We're having a blast here in Tallahassee. The church is growing, our programs are really taking off and God is doing His thing.
Well I should go. The Amazing Race Finale is on. Which is also exciting, but not as exciting as Disney.
FAIRWELL!
-Kathy
BUT NOW,THE JOY IS MINE! I am So overly excited about going to Disney World this weekend. Jason is taking me there for my Christmas/Valentines day present. We're going to drive down on the 12th and spend the 13th at the Magic Kingdom. Then we're going to spend the 14th at EPCOT and have dinner in Paris for V-day. RIGHT ON BUDDY!
Then we travel back on The 15th. It's really sad how happy I am. WAHOO!
We're having a blast here in Tallahassee. The church is growing, our programs are really taking off and God is doing His thing.
Well I should go. The Amazing Race Finale is on. Which is also exciting, but not as exciting as Disney.
FAIRWELL!
-Kathy
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