First I would like to give a hug and a kiss to my Kristy, because I think you are the only one who reads this. YOU're AWESOME!
We need to get our priorities straight. Who's we? CHRISTIANS! I have had it up to here (pointing to head) with Christians and churches with warped priorities. We have become so consumed with silly things that if Jesus was to come into our churches we would pray that God would help him to conform to us.
"Why can't that guy just be like everybody else? Why does he have to make a spectacle of himself?"
I can actually hear people saying this about our Savior if he was to pop into one of services as a stranger.
I have recently had to deal with some severe Christian immaturity and it gives me a completely new sense of appreciation for Jesus and his life on earth. I had a really bad morning and spent the remainder of the afternoon praying and reading about Jesus pre-crucifixion prayers up until his ascension into Heaven.
Jesus was the Son of God and he had Priests coming up to him and telling him he was doing wrong by God. If you were Him, wouldn't you have wanted to scream,
"OF COURSE I"M RIGHT BY GOD, I AM GOD!"
The Pharisees are still so present in todays society. Being in the Salvation Army, it scares me to death how quick we are to condemn anything that isn't traditionally army. I've actually heard people pretty much say,
"Well the reason we don't do things the way Jesus commanded is because William Booth had an idea to do it a different way."
I love Willy but Are you serious?!? That is so scary to me it's not even funny.
We need to reprioritize. Are we more concerned with the heart or the uniform? Are we going to keep all people accountable or only the ones that we feel comfortable confronting? Are we going to focus on the Word or on the tradition, because God's word can be applied to every era, it never gets old and it's never going to be outdated, but our tradition is. You may be second, third, fourth generation Salvationist, you may have been in the Army for years, but the people you are trying to reach in the unchurched world have not. I'm getting off on another tangent all together but I am spiritually frustrated and I want to scream!
This is the first time that I have made denominational decisions based souly on what my convictions are from the word. In the past I have wanted to seek out other denominations because I was angry or being selfish but God has brought me to a place where I am running my life's decisions through his word and it alone, because it is really the one thing that I can be sure of. I know that God is leading me to a new place and I am really excited about that. I don't want these writings to sound like the ventilation of an angry Salvationist because there is nothing new about that. Instead I plead with anyone who reads this to re-prioritize. What's more important? And when you discover what it is, rely on God's strength to usher you through because if I have learned anything about doing God's will, it is usually going to be hard, unpopular and challenging. Also, expect more from your Christian peers. The bible says that 'Iron sharpens Iron.." And we need to do that for eachother. Don't just keep accountable those people who are easier to come down on then others. Help other people be all that they can be by lovingly bringing your concerns to them about their spiritual lives. It's so important.
I don't know if anything I've said has flowed together at all and I don't even know if it's making any sense to anybody. I just want to send out a thank you to the people who call and write and encourage me with prayer and assure me that I'm loved. Whenever I want to cry, laugh, rejoice or vent, I confide in you and you are the people who get me through and I thank God for you.
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Friday, August 19, 2005
Sick-ee-poo
Florida is miserable in the summer time. It's too darn hot!
Speaking of which, it turns out that my husband has Pneumonia! Who gets Pneumonia in Florida in August! Craziness. Keep him in your prayers.
I am so hungry right now. I just bought Jason a chocolate cake. He's been craving one. Sympathy cravings for me. What a sweet heart...
Ever since this whole Pneumonia thing happened he's been refering to himself as, "Dying husband." For example...
"Kathy, would you mind pouring a drink for your dying husband?"
"Kathy, would you mind making dinner for your dying husband?"
Kathy, do you know what would make your dying husband's last days on earth really great? CHOCOLATE CAKE!"
As funny as he is, his cough is pretty bad. We'll be keeping a close eye on it. Where he has Asthma he is at a higher risk than the normal Joe. Poor baby. He never gets sick.
God's love has been very real and evident in our relationship these past few days. We've both been feeling awful but trying equally hard to take care of the other...I play the "Pregnant Wife" card almost as much as he plays the "Dying Husband" card. We've found yet another appreciation for eachother. I think the marriage vows should read, "...In sickness and in health. Even when you're both sick at the same time."
Speaking of which, it turns out that my husband has Pneumonia! Who gets Pneumonia in Florida in August! Craziness. Keep him in your prayers.
I am so hungry right now. I just bought Jason a chocolate cake. He's been craving one. Sympathy cravings for me. What a sweet heart...
Ever since this whole Pneumonia thing happened he's been refering to himself as, "Dying husband." For example...
"Kathy, would you mind pouring a drink for your dying husband?"
"Kathy, would you mind making dinner for your dying husband?"
Kathy, do you know what would make your dying husband's last days on earth really great? CHOCOLATE CAKE!"
As funny as he is, his cough is pretty bad. We'll be keeping a close eye on it. Where he has Asthma he is at a higher risk than the normal Joe. Poor baby. He never gets sick.
God's love has been very real and evident in our relationship these past few days. We've both been feeling awful but trying equally hard to take care of the other...I play the "Pregnant Wife" card almost as much as he plays the "Dying Husband" card. We've found yet another appreciation for eachother. I think the marriage vows should read, "...In sickness and in health. Even when you're both sick at the same time."
Friday, August 12, 2005
Doors
Life has been pretty crazy these past couple of weeks. Ever since we heard that Baby Boo was coming along we've been eagerly trying to figure out our next move. I, unlike alot of women, feel convicted to stay home when the baby is born. I know, I know, call me 1950's but those moments are so precious and I was raised by a stay-at-home-mom and I think I turned out pretty good. We've been exploring many options as to how to make this scenerio work and we're still pretty much in the dark as to what God's plan is for us. I have no doubt that this baby has come at the PERFECT time, because within the confines of a godly marriage that's how God works and it has always been my prayer that God would bless us with Children in His time and not my own, so I don't doubt the timing. This in turn helps me to not doubt the future. God placed this child within me and now he is going to place a future before me. A day or two this week my husband and I fell back into our old ways of thinking, wondering how 'WE' were going to do this and getting frustrated with our present lack of options but after seeking the counsel of several friends, God reminded us once again that there is stuff in the works that we can't see and that we need to pray in expectancy for the future. Which leads me to explain a very blessed turn of events:
We've been praying for God to shut all doors that need shutting and to open the door that needs opening and then to push us through it. While living here in Tallahassee we've had the priviledge of getting to know many wonderful people. We've also developed leaps and bounds in our Christian walk and our understanding of the scriptures. God has led us to discover hidden truths in his word that have literally transformed our lives and our thinking. We serve a powerful God! We've also had the priviledge of joining two church families. Some people may automatically be opposed to this, especially because one of the church's is our place of employment, but Jason and I have been SO blessed to have both of these entities in our lives.
The Salvation Army of course has been a blessing. The tiny congregation and the potential of the future there have been both motivating and inspirational. We love the mission of the Army and the history of the Army. We love what the Army is and we dream of what the Army could be. Through the Army we've been able to help people's physical needs, start new ministries and exercise our spiritual gifts. Although our job does not require us to attend the Corps, we choose to attend because of our deep admiration for the Army. On Wednesday nights we have been attending Lifechurch. Polar opposite atmospheres and yet when linked can bring such fulfillment to ones life. Lifechurch is a branch of the Penticostal church but it is the most biblically, balanced church I have ever attended. I've always been one to be over-cautious about emotionalism and 'putting on a show' almost to the point where I wouldn't have seen the power of God working through someone if they punched me in the face with it. But now I discern using scripture as my guide. So to make a LONG story short, attending both of these churchs has helped my husband and I to grow leaps and bounds in the Lord. And for those of you who are wondering, no, it's not wrong. Our commitment levels to both churchs have been clearly stated therefore we are dependable and held accountable by each plus if a church is going to get angry at us for growing stronger in Christ, then there is a problem. Denominational fueds....Grrrr...almost as ridiculous as The Salvation Army vs. The Red Cross but I'll save that rave for another time.
ANYWAY, God has been opening some serious doors for Jason to minister in Lifechurch. He's been called upon for several weeks in a row to conduct the services there while the head pastor is ill and the associate pastor has a family emergency. This is a huge deal given that Lifechurch has 750 attendees. Under the blessing of our Corps Officer, he has taken on the responsibility of leading back to back services at Lifechurch this coming Sunday. Pray for him and for whatever the future may bring in this ministry. Since the SAMS positions hold 0 stability (given that they are only 2 years in duration) we are going to need God to lead us onward. Perhaps we are to work securlarly, volunteering at our two awesome churchs. Maybe God is leading us into a different kind of ministry in which is name will be glorified and our experience in The Army will make us well equipped. Either way, we're open and ready for where he leads us.
Alot of times Salvationists assume that if people leave the Army it is because they are 'falling away' from God. I assure you that if Jason and I ever do attend another church that will not be the case. We praise God for our experiences in the Army, but we must go where he sends us whether that is to the Army or somewhere completely different.
Wow this is long! I guess I had alot to say! If Anyone actually made it to the end of this, please leave a comment. I need encouragement!
LOVE.
We've been praying for God to shut all doors that need shutting and to open the door that needs opening and then to push us through it. While living here in Tallahassee we've had the priviledge of getting to know many wonderful people. We've also developed leaps and bounds in our Christian walk and our understanding of the scriptures. God has led us to discover hidden truths in his word that have literally transformed our lives and our thinking. We serve a powerful God! We've also had the priviledge of joining two church families. Some people may automatically be opposed to this, especially because one of the church's is our place of employment, but Jason and I have been SO blessed to have both of these entities in our lives.
The Salvation Army of course has been a blessing. The tiny congregation and the potential of the future there have been both motivating and inspirational. We love the mission of the Army and the history of the Army. We love what the Army is and we dream of what the Army could be. Through the Army we've been able to help people's physical needs, start new ministries and exercise our spiritual gifts. Although our job does not require us to attend the Corps, we choose to attend because of our deep admiration for the Army. On Wednesday nights we have been attending Lifechurch. Polar opposite atmospheres and yet when linked can bring such fulfillment to ones life. Lifechurch is a branch of the Penticostal church but it is the most biblically, balanced church I have ever attended. I've always been one to be over-cautious about emotionalism and 'putting on a show' almost to the point where I wouldn't have seen the power of God working through someone if they punched me in the face with it. But now I discern using scripture as my guide. So to make a LONG story short, attending both of these churchs has helped my husband and I to grow leaps and bounds in the Lord. And for those of you who are wondering, no, it's not wrong. Our commitment levels to both churchs have been clearly stated therefore we are dependable and held accountable by each plus if a church is going to get angry at us for growing stronger in Christ, then there is a problem. Denominational fueds....Grrrr...almost as ridiculous as The Salvation Army vs. The Red Cross but I'll save that rave for another time.
ANYWAY, God has been opening some serious doors for Jason to minister in Lifechurch. He's been called upon for several weeks in a row to conduct the services there while the head pastor is ill and the associate pastor has a family emergency. This is a huge deal given that Lifechurch has 750 attendees. Under the blessing of our Corps Officer, he has taken on the responsibility of leading back to back services at Lifechurch this coming Sunday. Pray for him and for whatever the future may bring in this ministry. Since the SAMS positions hold 0 stability (given that they are only 2 years in duration) we are going to need God to lead us onward. Perhaps we are to work securlarly, volunteering at our two awesome churchs. Maybe God is leading us into a different kind of ministry in which is name will be glorified and our experience in The Army will make us well equipped. Either way, we're open and ready for where he leads us.
Alot of times Salvationists assume that if people leave the Army it is because they are 'falling away' from God. I assure you that if Jason and I ever do attend another church that will not be the case. We praise God for our experiences in the Army, but we must go where he sends us whether that is to the Army or somewhere completely different.
Wow this is long! I guess I had alot to say! If Anyone actually made it to the end of this, please leave a comment. I need encouragement!
LOVE.
Friday, August 05, 2005
Monday, August 01, 2005
Cleaning my Apartment
I just finished cleaning my apartment. I've been feeling terrible and FINALLY tonight there was just enough of a break in the nausia to get some much needed house work accomplished. I even cleaned out the garbage disposal. Ick! I organized the medicine cabinet in the bathroom and my bedroom dresser actually has a top to it now! Amazing. I have been embracing the realm of morning sickness this past week. It's been terrible. I mean I was nautious before, but this is just insane! I miss food. I miss loving it and wanting it. I miss watching commercials for it and drooling. Now I watch fast food commercials in disgust. I can't wait till month 4. They say life will be so much better than.
I have somehow developed a sinus problem over the last few days as well. Sinus headaches, runny nose, cough and tonight I am developing a sore throat. Not cool.
This evening my husband and I were able to fit on the couch together and take a nap. We had a pretty good set up. Usually we can never arrange ourselves comfortably but we slept like babies for about an hour. It was nice.
This week him and I are hosting Junior Soldier Day Camp at our Corps. The kids come everyday and learn a lesson, therefore knocking out five lessons in one week. Today went well. They are so LOUD. I think our entire youth group needs hearing aids.
We are leaving for Colorado in less than two weeks for the National Seminar on Evangelism. We went to this seminar last year and didn't particularly enjoy the content of the seminar, but the surroundings are incredible! We did so much hiking and sight seeing and we saw Josh Groban at The Red Rocks Amphitheatre. It was a great get away. This year we need to go as a job requirement. Basically we take an entire week to study a Salvation Track called, "Got Life?" And then in the mid-end of the week we all go out in two's to attack the neighborhood for Jesus. I'm not a huge (please don't hit me) believer in Door-to-Door Evangelism or it's effectiveness. But in saying that, there were several people who gave their lives to Christ last year through the ministry. It's just that every year they go to the same neighborhood and the Salvationist Attack has almost become a joke now to the residents there. I argue with myself all the time about whether it is a positive thing or not. On one hand we are asking people to conform to a God they know nothing about and asking them to trust us even though we're strangers and we're doing by invading their home and their family enviornment. In the end, we can't really maintain a relationship with them and leave them high and dry. The 48 hours after a person accepts Christ is the most crucial for follow up, support and discipleship because Satan gains a giant foot hold after that spiritual high.
On the other hand, prayer is our most powerful tool and we do alot of that at the seminar. There is a prayer walk on the streets where the Evangelism will take place and there is unbelievable possibility in that. Once someone accepts Christ they are given the names of the local officers and the church address and the tracks are pretty easy to follow. I don't know. I'm still wrestling. Let me know what you think.
Well I'm not feeling too hot at the moment. Pray for my belly and for Baby Boo (our nickname for Baby Stock)
I have somehow developed a sinus problem over the last few days as well. Sinus headaches, runny nose, cough and tonight I am developing a sore throat. Not cool.
This evening my husband and I were able to fit on the couch together and take a nap. We had a pretty good set up. Usually we can never arrange ourselves comfortably but we slept like babies for about an hour. It was nice.
This week him and I are hosting Junior Soldier Day Camp at our Corps. The kids come everyday and learn a lesson, therefore knocking out five lessons in one week. Today went well. They are so LOUD. I think our entire youth group needs hearing aids.
We are leaving for Colorado in less than two weeks for the National Seminar on Evangelism. We went to this seminar last year and didn't particularly enjoy the content of the seminar, but the surroundings are incredible! We did so much hiking and sight seeing and we saw Josh Groban at The Red Rocks Amphitheatre. It was a great get away. This year we need to go as a job requirement. Basically we take an entire week to study a Salvation Track called, "Got Life?" And then in the mid-end of the week we all go out in two's to attack the neighborhood for Jesus. I'm not a huge (please don't hit me) believer in Door-to-Door Evangelism or it's effectiveness. But in saying that, there were several people who gave their lives to Christ last year through the ministry. It's just that every year they go to the same neighborhood and the Salvationist Attack has almost become a joke now to the residents there. I argue with myself all the time about whether it is a positive thing or not. On one hand we are asking people to conform to a God they know nothing about and asking them to trust us even though we're strangers and we're doing by invading their home and their family enviornment. In the end, we can't really maintain a relationship with them and leave them high and dry. The 48 hours after a person accepts Christ is the most crucial for follow up, support and discipleship because Satan gains a giant foot hold after that spiritual high.
On the other hand, prayer is our most powerful tool and we do alot of that at the seminar. There is a prayer walk on the streets where the Evangelism will take place and there is unbelievable possibility in that. Once someone accepts Christ they are given the names of the local officers and the church address and the tracks are pretty easy to follow. I don't know. I'm still wrestling. Let me know what you think.
Well I'm not feeling too hot at the moment. Pray for my belly and for Baby Boo (our nickname for Baby Stock)
Monday, July 25, 2005
Baby on the way
Jason and I are very excited about our growing fetus! We've become very happy about the idea of being parents and are realizing that we're more ready than we thought we were. It's such a great and motivating feeling to be planning our lives around the life of someone so precious and dear. Suddenly the future is very important, complacency can be no more and we're focused and purpose driven. Being pregnant hasn't been too miserable thus far. I've been very tired and feel a little naustious everyday but I am nowhere near the horror stories I have heard from pregnant ladies of the past. Praise God for that. Jason is doing very well. The future although it is exciting is still very scary and nerve wrecking, but we're doing much better than I ever thought we would do under these unexpected circumstances. We're more focused on the blessing than the hurdles and we know that God has this in his hands.
My dog (who I refer to has doggy-roo) is hilarious. She just ripped one of her pillows apart and spread the innards all over the living room floor. Although she chews things up, eats way too much, requires outside maintenance and sheds so much that shes broken two vacuum cleaners, she is an awesome dog and I am so glad she's in our lives. And to think she was on the chopping block at the animal shelter!
Shhhhhh, don't tell her that. She doesn't know how close things came!
Well I should go and watch some mind numbing television. Until next time....BYE
My dog (who I refer to has doggy-roo) is hilarious. She just ripped one of her pillows apart and spread the innards all over the living room floor. Although she chews things up, eats way too much, requires outside maintenance and sheds so much that shes broken two vacuum cleaners, she is an awesome dog and I am so glad she's in our lives. And to think she was on the chopping block at the animal shelter!
Shhhhhh, don't tell her that. She doesn't know how close things came!
Well I should go and watch some mind numbing television. Until next time....BYE
Thursday, July 21, 2005
Guess who's going to have a baby?
ME
Baby Stock will be here around March 19th
...We can't wait to meet you Baby!
Baby Stock will be here around March 19th
...We can't wait to meet you Baby!
Sunday, July 17, 2005
Disaster Work
We just got back from a crazy week in Pensacola, Florida. Hurricane Dennis came up through that area and knocked out homes and power lines everywhere so the Salvation Army was sent there first thing Monday morning. Jason and I took the Tallahassee canteen and hit the road with the S. Army convoy.
The rest of the week consisted of LONG hours, grueling work and lots of sweat. I have to say it was one of the most rewarding things I've done in a long time. It was the way practical Christianity should be. Heart to God, hand to man. We saw hungry people and we fed them. They asked for food and we gave it to them. There was no red tape, no middle man, and for a week I fell back in love with The Salvation Army. The one that has a heart for people and cares more about the needs than the Burocracy. It was good stuff. There were only two people the entire week who cussed us out for not providing a prompt enough free meal but those who were thankful and precious far out numbered the mean and ugly. We had volunteers walk off the street to help us in our canteen. They brought us icecream and snacks and displayed the beautiful heart of Christ. Then we went to the town of Milton, where the worlds most amazing people live. These people had their town blasted away by the storm and still remained honest, friendly, and welcoming. I LOVE MILTON. I wanna get a shirt that says that.
The last night the Disaster crew ate out at Outback Steak House and much to our suprise, the family that had been sitting next to us paid 50 bucks towards our meal, but they wanted to leave before we knew about it.
I saw so much Jesus in people awakened by this natural disaster. And we wonder why God does things like that...
On Saturday we returned home with full hearts and a much needed appreciation for mankind. It was a wonderful week.
The rest of the week consisted of LONG hours, grueling work and lots of sweat. I have to say it was one of the most rewarding things I've done in a long time. It was the way practical Christianity should be. Heart to God, hand to man. We saw hungry people and we fed them. They asked for food and we gave it to them. There was no red tape, no middle man, and for a week I fell back in love with The Salvation Army. The one that has a heart for people and cares more about the needs than the Burocracy. It was good stuff. There were only two people the entire week who cussed us out for not providing a prompt enough free meal but those who were thankful and precious far out numbered the mean and ugly. We had volunteers walk off the street to help us in our canteen. They brought us icecream and snacks and displayed the beautiful heart of Christ. Then we went to the town of Milton, where the worlds most amazing people live. These people had their town blasted away by the storm and still remained honest, friendly, and welcoming. I LOVE MILTON. I wanna get a shirt that says that.
The last night the Disaster crew ate out at Outback Steak House and much to our suprise, the family that had been sitting next to us paid 50 bucks towards our meal, but they wanted to leave before we knew about it.
I saw so much Jesus in people awakened by this natural disaster. And we wonder why God does things like that...
On Saturday we returned home with full hearts and a much needed appreciation for mankind. It was a wonderful week.
Sunday, July 10, 2005
Friday, July 08, 2005
What a Stinky Day!
Man, God is really using this week to drive me to my knees.
Allow me to vent:
I went to have a catscan done this week on my neck and it turns out that there is something there but they won't know what it is for a couple of days. Fortunatly there are 100 non-scary things that it could be and only one scary thing, so my odds are good. I'm not too concerned about that, but if you could, keep it in your prayers.
This morning I decided to go to work a way that I never go. I even found myself wondering, "Why am I going this way?" But I continued on. I'm a good driver and I assume that everyone around me is as well, so I manuvered my way into a tight spot in the lane next to me and proceeded to slow and turn up the following street when the person behind me RAMMED me from behind, sending me flying. I'm going to be REALLY sore tomorrow and my car is pretty much demolished. I couldn't get the door opened so I had to crawl out the other side and the woman who hit me was SO mean and that hurt more than the flinging of my body against my steering wheel. I'm fine. Damaged pride and a fear of a lawsuit on my hands, but I'm fine. The woman is blaming me for everything and she wasn't nice to deal with so we'll what happens.
LASTLY, there's a hurricane coming straight for us.
I have to go, but keep Kathy in prayer this week, as well as the Panhandel of Florida. God is working something big in me! I hope I don't perish before it comes to pass!
Allow me to vent:
I went to have a catscan done this week on my neck and it turns out that there is something there but they won't know what it is for a couple of days. Fortunatly there are 100 non-scary things that it could be and only one scary thing, so my odds are good. I'm not too concerned about that, but if you could, keep it in your prayers.
This morning I decided to go to work a way that I never go. I even found myself wondering, "Why am I going this way?" But I continued on. I'm a good driver and I assume that everyone around me is as well, so I manuvered my way into a tight spot in the lane next to me and proceeded to slow and turn up the following street when the person behind me RAMMED me from behind, sending me flying. I'm going to be REALLY sore tomorrow and my car is pretty much demolished. I couldn't get the door opened so I had to crawl out the other side and the woman who hit me was SO mean and that hurt more than the flinging of my body against my steering wheel. I'm fine. Damaged pride and a fear of a lawsuit on my hands, but I'm fine. The woman is blaming me for everything and she wasn't nice to deal with so we'll what happens.
LASTLY, there's a hurricane coming straight for us.
I have to go, but keep Kathy in prayer this week, as well as the Panhandel of Florida. God is working something big in me! I hope I don't perish before it comes to pass!
Friday, July 01, 2005
Happy Canada Day!
Happy Canada day! The fabulous day that our nation was formed. I bought materials to make Canada cookies but I never got around to it. I celebrated by going to the doctor to get a lump in my neck checked out. He said it was shaped like a Maple Leaf!! Just kidding. That would have been awesome though.
I have to get some blood work done tomorrow and I have to get a Catscan on Thursday just to make sure it's all good. The dr. thinks it's nothing serious so I'm not too worried about it. Keep it all in prayer though if you have time.
Jason's parents are coming in from NY tomorrow. They'll be here until Tuesday. I'm excited. We rarely get to see them so it'll be good.
I've been thinking alot lately about the ridiculous competition between denominations of the Christian church. Isn't it funny how church's look at eachother as though they are competitors in a race for stats and correct docterine? I've actually heard people within non-profit, God centered ministries refer to other non-profit, God centered ministries as 'The Competition.' I celebrate denominational diversity. I think denominations are fabulous. I think it's ridiculous to think that everyone should be able to find everything they need at one church. If that was the case, we'd have one big ol' church. What about the people who need to be in tiny church's to feel safe and loved? Everyone is different and everyone needs different things. We need to praise God for leading people to places where they fit. If that's not your church, big deal!
Don't know why that's been on my mind lately...it just has...
BYE
I have to get some blood work done tomorrow and I have to get a Catscan on Thursday just to make sure it's all good. The dr. thinks it's nothing serious so I'm not too worried about it. Keep it all in prayer though if you have time.
Jason's parents are coming in from NY tomorrow. They'll be here until Tuesday. I'm excited. We rarely get to see them so it'll be good.
I've been thinking alot lately about the ridiculous competition between denominations of the Christian church. Isn't it funny how church's look at eachother as though they are competitors in a race for stats and correct docterine? I've actually heard people within non-profit, God centered ministries refer to other non-profit, God centered ministries as 'The Competition.' I celebrate denominational diversity. I think denominations are fabulous. I think it's ridiculous to think that everyone should be able to find everything they need at one church. If that was the case, we'd have one big ol' church. What about the people who need to be in tiny church's to feel safe and loved? Everyone is different and everyone needs different things. We need to praise God for leading people to places where they fit. If that's not your church, big deal!
Don't know why that's been on my mind lately...it just has...
BYE
Friday, June 24, 2005
Where Is Everybody?
HEY! Have I not made it perfectly clear that 0 comments makes me sad and depressed! Come on people! Don't slack off just because it's summer! I just miss everyone..sniff sniff...That's all.
Summer has brought with it a period of dryness in almost every area of my life. My surroundings are, of course, very dry seeing as how it is 100 degrees everyday. The soil and sod have literally turned to sand and dust. It amazes me that vegetation can survive here. Physically I have fallen off of the exercise horse. I was doing so well, getting up early, at the gym by 7:00am and then off to work by 9:00am. I felt really good. Then I blew a tire on my car and during the waiting period my routine got shaken up. It's been really hard to get back into the groove. Spiritually I've been pretty docile. In the world's of ups and downs this would be a down but not for any particular reason. Just feeling suspended in complacency. I'm not even really depressed or upset or anything, just feeling really lazy. I've never really consider how strong the enemy is until I go through times like these. My life is great. I have blessings all around me. I have a husband who loves me, a job that supports me, friends and family who care about me and first and foremost a God who created me in love and wants to be with me daily. I know logically all of the arguments and cliches one says to another when experiencing dry times. I know what I need to do to shake the dryness and it's as simple as sitting in the presence of God and being regenerated. And even though I've never had a negative experience sitting in God's presence, I still do everything in my power to avoid it during these times of dryness. I'll get on the computer instead of reading my bible. I'll play my keyboard instead of pray to God. This is why the enemy is much more present in life than I thought, whispering to us that somehow spending time with our heavenly Father is a negative thing! And we buy it! I've been reading the book, "The Screwtape Letters" by C.S Lewis. Now I realize it is a fiction compilation and not to be taken as accurate accounts of demon conversation, however it is very interesting to observe areas in life where the devil could be placing his foot. The book says that the devil loves two types of people: Those who are overly interested in him to the point of obsession and those who don't believe him. He can do just as much evil in the life of someone who claims he isn't there as he can in the life of someone who worships him!
Now I'm not one who likes to blame the devil for everything. I am the one who ultimately makes the decisions about my life. But it's been an interesting enlightenment during this time of dryness to pinpoint why I feel the way I feel. It gives me motivation to kick the habit of complacency because I don't want Satan to succeed in my life. So if you're reading this whisper a little prayer on behalf of those who are experiencing dryness. It is not backsliding or caused by life's troubles. In fact the most passionate times I have spent with the Lord have been when he is all I have and everything else is falling apart. Dryness tends to seep into my life when everything is just fine. Not great, not bad, but fine. When we have enough money to live but not enough to do anything else. When work has become ritualistically normal and life is just kind of bobbing along, uneventful.
"There must be more than this, Spirit of God come breathe within.
There must be more than this Spirit of God we wait for you.
Fill us anew we pray, fill us anew we pray.
Consuming fire, fan into flame a passion for Your name.
Spirit of God, fall in this place.
Lord have Your way, Lord have Your way with us."
- Tim Hughes, 'Consuming Fire'
Summer has brought with it a period of dryness in almost every area of my life. My surroundings are, of course, very dry seeing as how it is 100 degrees everyday. The soil and sod have literally turned to sand and dust. It amazes me that vegetation can survive here. Physically I have fallen off of the exercise horse. I was doing so well, getting up early, at the gym by 7:00am and then off to work by 9:00am. I felt really good. Then I blew a tire on my car and during the waiting period my routine got shaken up. It's been really hard to get back into the groove. Spiritually I've been pretty docile. In the world's of ups and downs this would be a down but not for any particular reason. Just feeling suspended in complacency. I'm not even really depressed or upset or anything, just feeling really lazy. I've never really consider how strong the enemy is until I go through times like these. My life is great. I have blessings all around me. I have a husband who loves me, a job that supports me, friends and family who care about me and first and foremost a God who created me in love and wants to be with me daily. I know logically all of the arguments and cliches one says to another when experiencing dry times. I know what I need to do to shake the dryness and it's as simple as sitting in the presence of God and being regenerated. And even though I've never had a negative experience sitting in God's presence, I still do everything in my power to avoid it during these times of dryness. I'll get on the computer instead of reading my bible. I'll play my keyboard instead of pray to God. This is why the enemy is much more present in life than I thought, whispering to us that somehow spending time with our heavenly Father is a negative thing! And we buy it! I've been reading the book, "The Screwtape Letters" by C.S Lewis. Now I realize it is a fiction compilation and not to be taken as accurate accounts of demon conversation, however it is very interesting to observe areas in life where the devil could be placing his foot. The book says that the devil loves two types of people: Those who are overly interested in him to the point of obsession and those who don't believe him. He can do just as much evil in the life of someone who claims he isn't there as he can in the life of someone who worships him!
Now I'm not one who likes to blame the devil for everything. I am the one who ultimately makes the decisions about my life. But it's been an interesting enlightenment during this time of dryness to pinpoint why I feel the way I feel. It gives me motivation to kick the habit of complacency because I don't want Satan to succeed in my life. So if you're reading this whisper a little prayer on behalf of those who are experiencing dryness. It is not backsliding or caused by life's troubles. In fact the most passionate times I have spent with the Lord have been when he is all I have and everything else is falling apart. Dryness tends to seep into my life when everything is just fine. Not great, not bad, but fine. When we have enough money to live but not enough to do anything else. When work has become ritualistically normal and life is just kind of bobbing along, uneventful.
"There must be more than this, Spirit of God come breathe within.
There must be more than this Spirit of God we wait for you.
Fill us anew we pray, fill us anew we pray.
Consuming fire, fan into flame a passion for Your name.
Spirit of God, fall in this place.
Lord have Your way, Lord have Your way with us."
- Tim Hughes, 'Consuming Fire'
Sunday, June 19, 2005
Happy Father's Day Dad!
My dad is a faithful reader and I am a horrible mail-er SO I decided to post my father's day greeting rather than buy a card and forget to send it.
Happy father's Day Dad! You're the greatest! Sorry I can't be there. You're awesome.
Thank you for refining my brain and for guiding me through at least 18 years of Howard Smith's Seminary School. I say that not to make fun, but instead to thank you. As I go through life I thank God daily that I didn't have to learn alot of life's lessons the hard way and that I am mature in my spirituality because of you. You did exactly what God called you to do as the leader of our family. You raised me in the way I should go, and you trained me to be a God-fearing person. Due to your example I have chosen a godly husband who from time to time reminds me of you and who will guide me and our family to a life of holiness just as you did for us.
Thank you.
You may now add this entry to my file and date it Father's Day 2005. Heehee.
Happy father's Day Dad! You're the greatest! Sorry I can't be there. You're awesome.
Thank you for refining my brain and for guiding me through at least 18 years of Howard Smith's Seminary School. I say that not to make fun, but instead to thank you. As I go through life I thank God daily that I didn't have to learn alot of life's lessons the hard way and that I am mature in my spirituality because of you. You did exactly what God called you to do as the leader of our family. You raised me in the way I should go, and you trained me to be a God-fearing person. Due to your example I have chosen a godly husband who from time to time reminds me of you and who will guide me and our family to a life of holiness just as you did for us.
Thank you.
You may now add this entry to my file and date it Father's Day 2005. Heehee.
Saturday, June 18, 2005
'YAWN'
I'm really tired right now. It's like 4:51 on Saturday afternoon, but I am DOG TIRED for no reason at all. I slept really good last night, but for some reason I'm draggin my feet.
We just got back from a church youth-trip. It was fun. Jay is off riding a bike somewhere. He's taken up this habit of riding this bike where your feet get strapped in to the pedals so you have to do this wierd twisty move in order to get them out when you stop your bike. Needless to say his legs are scratched to pieces from not twisting his foot fast enough and falling helplessly to one side. This is why I am at home blogging and not joining in the 'make myself defenseless to the dirt' fun.
He's home! just walked in, in one piece...Thank you Lord.
We just got back from a church youth-trip. It was fun. Jay is off riding a bike somewhere. He's taken up this habit of riding this bike where your feet get strapped in to the pedals so you have to do this wierd twisty move in order to get them out when you stop your bike. Needless to say his legs are scratched to pieces from not twisting his foot fast enough and falling helplessly to one side. This is why I am at home blogging and not joining in the 'make myself defenseless to the dirt' fun.
He's home! just walked in, in one piece...Thank you Lord.
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
Devotional Book For Tallahassee
For the past couple of weeks, I have dedicated myself to preparing a month long devotional book to address the specific needs of our Corps here in Tallahassee. It is a study on the book of Nehemiah, since we are attempting to change the entire face and structure of our church here in town. I'm going to post a couple of the entries on my blog just to see what people think. The corps will hopefully begin using it for the first week of July. Here's how the book starts off. (anyone requesting a copy please let me know, there's a limited suplpy) HAHA!
"Let The Re-building Begin!"
Scripture: "I also told them about the gracious hand of my God upon me and what the king had said to me. They replied, 'Let us start rebuilding.' So they began this good work."
- Nehemiah 2:18
There is no better story then the story of Nehemiah to reflect what is happening to the Tallahassee Corps right now. This book of the bible is littered with examples of leadership, vision, opposition, submission, perseverance, repentance and revival. Phew! That's a lot of themes for one little book! Let's have a short history lesson:
This book takes place during 445 BC and shows the third and final exile to Jerusalem. Zerrubabel (a great grandfather of Jesus) led the first return in 538 BC and Ezra led the second return in 458 BC. Thirteen years later a wealthy man by the name of (you guessed it) Nehemiah, felt God telling him to lead the third exile to Jerusalem and to rebuild the walls around that city. Why was rebuilding the wall so important you might ask?
The wall around Jerusalem represented more than just a structure. It acted as protection, as shelter and as a symbol of unity within that city. The wall provided a place for God's chosen people to grow spiritually together. Within those walls a place of prayer would exists and everyone within those walls would have the same beliefs about God and his direction. It was a special place, a place of God. Sounds like a church to me!
Nehemiah had been hearing people say that the wall could not be rebuilt, that the opposition was too strong and that the mess was too big. They just didn't know where to start.
God tugged at Nehemiah's heart and placed a passion inside of him to lead the movement back to Jerusalem. It wasn't easy, but he left his great paying job with the government and with permission from the King began leading the reconstruction of the wall.
You would think that Nehemiah would have no problem doing this and that everything would be a piece of cake. After all, it was God's plan. He actually ran into many trials and tribulations both outside of the city and inside of it, but he kept his cool. He addressed every problem in the same way. Nehemiah's pattern for success went a little like this.
Recognize the problem - Pray - Act
This is one of the things that made Nehemiah so incredible at leading and delegating. He would see the problems for what they really were and then he would take them to the Lord in prayer. After praying, he would take immediate action. His leadership, passion, obedience and consistency paid off in the end. Through God's strength they completed the "impossible" re-construction of the Jerusalem wall in 52 days!
Pray that God will lay His will upon your heart. If you are a member of this Corps, God has a purpose and a plan here for you! Pray that He will open your heart and give you a passion to rebuild the Salvation Army of Tallahassee. Maybe even in 52 days! You never know! It will not be easy, in fact Satan will find many ways to get us down but God is bigger than all things. Never forget that. Join us as we dive further in Nehemiah. Have a blessed day!
"Let The Re-building Begin!"
Scripture: "I also told them about the gracious hand of my God upon me and what the king had said to me. They replied, 'Let us start rebuilding.' So they began this good work."
- Nehemiah 2:18
There is no better story then the story of Nehemiah to reflect what is happening to the Tallahassee Corps right now. This book of the bible is littered with examples of leadership, vision, opposition, submission, perseverance, repentance and revival. Phew! That's a lot of themes for one little book! Let's have a short history lesson:
This book takes place during 445 BC and shows the third and final exile to Jerusalem. Zerrubabel (a great grandfather of Jesus) led the first return in 538 BC and Ezra led the second return in 458 BC. Thirteen years later a wealthy man by the name of (you guessed it) Nehemiah, felt God telling him to lead the third exile to Jerusalem and to rebuild the walls around that city. Why was rebuilding the wall so important you might ask?
The wall around Jerusalem represented more than just a structure. It acted as protection, as shelter and as a symbol of unity within that city. The wall provided a place for God's chosen people to grow spiritually together. Within those walls a place of prayer would exists and everyone within those walls would have the same beliefs about God and his direction. It was a special place, a place of God. Sounds like a church to me!
Nehemiah had been hearing people say that the wall could not be rebuilt, that the opposition was too strong and that the mess was too big. They just didn't know where to start.
God tugged at Nehemiah's heart and placed a passion inside of him to lead the movement back to Jerusalem. It wasn't easy, but he left his great paying job with the government and with permission from the King began leading the reconstruction of the wall.
You would think that Nehemiah would have no problem doing this and that everything would be a piece of cake. After all, it was God's plan. He actually ran into many trials and tribulations both outside of the city and inside of it, but he kept his cool. He addressed every problem in the same way. Nehemiah's pattern for success went a little like this.
Recognize the problem - Pray - Act
This is one of the things that made Nehemiah so incredible at leading and delegating. He would see the problems for what they really were and then he would take them to the Lord in prayer. After praying, he would take immediate action. His leadership, passion, obedience and consistency paid off in the end. Through God's strength they completed the "impossible" re-construction of the Jerusalem wall in 52 days!
Pray that God will lay His will upon your heart. If you are a member of this Corps, God has a purpose and a plan here for you! Pray that He will open your heart and give you a passion to rebuild the Salvation Army of Tallahassee. Maybe even in 52 days! You never know! It will not be easy, in fact Satan will find many ways to get us down but God is bigger than all things. Never forget that. Join us as we dive further in Nehemiah. Have a blessed day!
Sunday, June 12, 2005
How could I not?
Ok, so a very close follow up to my last entry. For the past little while I have been dealing with feelings of anger and bitterness and I was asking how in the world do you just stop feeling angry. Well I went to a bible study tonight with some new friends that jason and I have met. It was a great time hanging out with new people but when we started to diving into the word, we began discussing the topic of Jesus on the cross. All of a sudden it dawned on me, due to the Holy Spirit I'm sure, because I've heard this story and concept before but it really hit home tonight. This entire time I've wondered how Jesus forgave those people who hurt him so badly. I've known in my head that Jesus suffered so much more than I can ever know, but I was not letting that knowledge impact my life. The leader of the bible study brought up the parable of the Man in debt, who owed a huge debt to the king. When the king asked for his money (which the man was no where near having) the man pleaded with him for mercy. The king felt moved in his heart and forgave the man his entire debt. What a blessing! The desperate feeling of being broke financially suddenly was lifted from his shoulders! That same day he sees someone who owes him a small amount of money and he grabs him and demands for his money. I think to myself whenever I read this parable, "How dare he turn around and not give the same curtosy to someone else! What a monster! He should be thankful and return the favor he was given!"
What a slap in my face tonight. Jesus forgave me, bore my sin, my shame and suffered longer and harder for me then I will ever have to come close to enduring. The question which I used as the title of my last entry was 'HOW?' In actuality the question should be 'HOW COULD I NOT?' How could I not forgive my neighbor? Sure they hurt me and continue to hurt me, sure they havn't asked for forgiveness, sure life is not fair, sure we get the rotten end of the stick sometimes, but I don't even deserve the blessings I have, why should I assume to deserve more! God has given me an amazing husband, family and friends (even though they may not be close by, their still amazing) He has given me health, happiness, secuirty and unbelievable LOVE. I have blessings coming out of my ears AND i am forgiven for my shortcomings, whenever I call upon the Lord. A corps officer once said to me, "Why do you need to forgive people when they havn't asked? Jesus doesn't." I could not disagree more! Jesus did! And continues to have an aboudning amount of mercy and grace and LOVE for all of us, the best of the best and the worst of the worst. Unforgiveness hurts me more than it hurts anyone else. Worst of all, it hurts my relationship with God.
So how do I forgive? I JUST DO IT! Because what Jesus did for me and for the people who crucified him causes anything that I endure to pale in comparison and its very freeing to know that Jesus knows, loves, cares and forgives! I need to be done with thinking about these people and situations negatively. I need to tell myself that I am not mad anymore, that I have forgiven them and not allow any type of negativity to enter my brain. I am choosing this day not to dwell on it anymore, and to observe any negative thought as though it is foreign and needs to be thrown out of my brain.
So i've been on this high for approximatly an hour and I thank God for it, praying that I wil maintain this understanding of undeserved forgiveness. That is one element of true Christianity.
Gotta go walk the dog. Even though she doesn't deserve it because she chewed up my hair elastic. That's the power of Love.
What a slap in my face tonight. Jesus forgave me, bore my sin, my shame and suffered longer and harder for me then I will ever have to come close to enduring. The question which I used as the title of my last entry was 'HOW?' In actuality the question should be 'HOW COULD I NOT?' How could I not forgive my neighbor? Sure they hurt me and continue to hurt me, sure they havn't asked for forgiveness, sure life is not fair, sure we get the rotten end of the stick sometimes, but I don't even deserve the blessings I have, why should I assume to deserve more! God has given me an amazing husband, family and friends (even though they may not be close by, their still amazing) He has given me health, happiness, secuirty and unbelievable LOVE. I have blessings coming out of my ears AND i am forgiven for my shortcomings, whenever I call upon the Lord. A corps officer once said to me, "Why do you need to forgive people when they havn't asked? Jesus doesn't." I could not disagree more! Jesus did! And continues to have an aboudning amount of mercy and grace and LOVE for all of us, the best of the best and the worst of the worst. Unforgiveness hurts me more than it hurts anyone else. Worst of all, it hurts my relationship with God.
So how do I forgive? I JUST DO IT! Because what Jesus did for me and for the people who crucified him causes anything that I endure to pale in comparison and its very freeing to know that Jesus knows, loves, cares and forgives! I need to be done with thinking about these people and situations negatively. I need to tell myself that I am not mad anymore, that I have forgiven them and not allow any type of negativity to enter my brain. I am choosing this day not to dwell on it anymore, and to observe any negative thought as though it is foreign and needs to be thrown out of my brain.
So i've been on this high for approximatly an hour and I thank God for it, praying that I wil maintain this understanding of undeserved forgiveness. That is one element of true Christianity.
Gotta go walk the dog. Even though she doesn't deserve it because she chewed up my hair elastic. That's the power of Love.
HOW?
I have a problem. A new and negative monster is rearing its ugly head in my life. I've never had to deal with this before because I have never felt this way until now. My actions don't really portray how I've been feeling (at least I don't think they have) and my husband (bless his heart) is really the only one up until now that has known about this new struggle, but I've decided to just lay it all out on the table. You can't change what you don't acknowledge - Dr. Phil
Lately I am finding that I am extremely negative and angry at everyone and everything. Well, not everyone and everything, but alot of people and alot of things. Anyone who is close to me knows some of the struggles that Jason and I have been going through, both long term and short term. I still believe that God is shaping us for something important and has placed us in various situations to test our strength and reliance on him and through that we have been striving for holiness in a way we never have before. I have alot of head knowledge as to what is important. For instance, God's opinion is more important than people's opinions. That's been a hard one for me to swallow. I know it's true, but being someone who wants everyone's approval, I havn't known how to deal (especially lately) with different personal struggles in my life. I didn't see it happening, but I have become very angry inside. Over and over in my head I play out scenerios in which people have hurt me or Jason and I get more and more mad and annoyed and bitter. I'm glad I recognize this, and I have taken several steps to stop feeling and thinking this way, but it's been really hard to let things go lately. I'm NOT a confrontational person at all, so I find myself telling people what I think and how I feel when their not actually around, in my head. I get fired up at people and they have no idea I'm even mad! I hate feeling this way, mostly because it hurts me and my relationship with God and gets nothing accomplished. I have prayed about it over and over, "God I don't want this, I give it to you I submit it to you, I am no good when I feel and think this way, I don't want it anymore, please take it from me." and within seconds I am back to thinking and fuming about what I just 'gave' to God, meaning I snatched it back without even recognizing it! It's almost subconsious. I don't even know I am dwelling on it until after 5 minutes of dwelling on it. I havn't been acting on these feelings because like I said, I'm not confrontational. It's more an inner rage that is silent but deadly. It's nothing violent or psychotic or anything (don't call the authorities, I'm ok!) in fact if I wasn't a christian it wouldn't be something that worried me, but the fact is that I am putting division between myself and God when I feel and think this way. I just want justice. More so for Jason than myself. If I was ever kicked in the face half as many times as he has been I'd still be on the ground, crying. That man is one of the strongest human beings on the planet. He has been just beaten down when he does the wrong things and the right things. He just never catches a break and he is so deserving having overcome all that he has overcome in his life.
I guess this is a time when I need more than ever to be sensitive to God's leading and I am so comsumed with 'self' that I don't know how to deal with some things that have come up in my life. Am I suppose to perservere or is God telling me to make a step of faith? Are we in the right place going through God ordained struggles or are we in the wrong place, frustrated by being out of God's will? Who knows.
All I know is that I need your prayers to overcome this battle with anger. I guess its a matter of unforgiveness. I'm unable to let things go and forgive people who havn't asked for forgiveness. That's one of the biggest things I think Jesus ever had to do. Was forgive the people who cheered for his death when he didn't deserve it and they didn't ask for forgiveness.
This is why I want so badly to be more and more like Christ. That kind of holiness is just incredible.
Lately I am finding that I am extremely negative and angry at everyone and everything. Well, not everyone and everything, but alot of people and alot of things. Anyone who is close to me knows some of the struggles that Jason and I have been going through, both long term and short term. I still believe that God is shaping us for something important and has placed us in various situations to test our strength and reliance on him and through that we have been striving for holiness in a way we never have before. I have alot of head knowledge as to what is important. For instance, God's opinion is more important than people's opinions. That's been a hard one for me to swallow. I know it's true, but being someone who wants everyone's approval, I havn't known how to deal (especially lately) with different personal struggles in my life. I didn't see it happening, but I have become very angry inside. Over and over in my head I play out scenerios in which people have hurt me or Jason and I get more and more mad and annoyed and bitter. I'm glad I recognize this, and I have taken several steps to stop feeling and thinking this way, but it's been really hard to let things go lately. I'm NOT a confrontational person at all, so I find myself telling people what I think and how I feel when their not actually around, in my head. I get fired up at people and they have no idea I'm even mad! I hate feeling this way, mostly because it hurts me and my relationship with God and gets nothing accomplished. I have prayed about it over and over, "God I don't want this, I give it to you I submit it to you, I am no good when I feel and think this way, I don't want it anymore, please take it from me." and within seconds I am back to thinking and fuming about what I just 'gave' to God, meaning I snatched it back without even recognizing it! It's almost subconsious. I don't even know I am dwelling on it until after 5 minutes of dwelling on it. I havn't been acting on these feelings because like I said, I'm not confrontational. It's more an inner rage that is silent but deadly. It's nothing violent or psychotic or anything (don't call the authorities, I'm ok!) in fact if I wasn't a christian it wouldn't be something that worried me, but the fact is that I am putting division between myself and God when I feel and think this way. I just want justice. More so for Jason than myself. If I was ever kicked in the face half as many times as he has been I'd still be on the ground, crying. That man is one of the strongest human beings on the planet. He has been just beaten down when he does the wrong things and the right things. He just never catches a break and he is so deserving having overcome all that he has overcome in his life.
I guess this is a time when I need more than ever to be sensitive to God's leading and I am so comsumed with 'self' that I don't know how to deal with some things that have come up in my life. Am I suppose to perservere or is God telling me to make a step of faith? Are we in the right place going through God ordained struggles or are we in the wrong place, frustrated by being out of God's will? Who knows.
All I know is that I need your prayers to overcome this battle with anger. I guess its a matter of unforgiveness. I'm unable to let things go and forgive people who havn't asked for forgiveness. That's one of the biggest things I think Jesus ever had to do. Was forgive the people who cheered for his death when he didn't deserve it and they didn't ask for forgiveness.
This is why I want so badly to be more and more like Christ. That kind of holiness is just incredible.
Thursday, June 09, 2005
LOUD SCREAM AHHHHHHH!
WARNING! Bad day ramblings coming up...(Content may be extremely negative)
I am so tired. I need a vacation! I say this partly in jest because I just got back from Vacation. It was such a great time. I hated that Jay couldn't come but It was amazing to be submerged into an environment of family and friends who love me. Gosh I miss that. I thank God that Jay loves me more than a multitude of people ever could, but there's something nice about having a plethora of friends. It was so great to hang out with my family again. My parents moved out of our childhood home the day after I flew out. It was great to be there one last time. I can't wait till they come here in December! FUN FUN! The CWJ crowd flew out on tuesday. Man I wish I could go for a week to camp in NC. I hope you guys have an amazing summer! Hope the drama-mometer isn't exploding! Gadzooks....
Coming back to Tallahassee showed me how different life in Newfoundland really is, and how that magical place just doesn't exist anywhere else. I thank God for it, and for all of the people there. I would give anything to transplant you all here. Thank you for loving Jay and I and missing us both. You are awesome friends. PLEASE COME SEE ME!
Monday it was back to work as usual. It was as if I never left...literally. I don't think anyone noticed I was gone to tell you the truth! Ha!Ha!
Well the cleaning lady, Hazel welcomed me back...she is the cutest little thing!
My amazing husband greeted me at the airport with a much needed hug and a bouquet of flowers. He is incredible. I missed him a disgusting amount.
Everyone was bummed that you didn't come home Jay! YOU ARE LOVED! Never forget that!
Well this didn't turn out to be very negative at all....thats what remembering Newfoundland can do! It can change your day for the better!
Thank you Newfoundland for being outrageously cool. Can't wait to see you again!
I am so tired. I need a vacation! I say this partly in jest because I just got back from Vacation. It was such a great time. I hated that Jay couldn't come but It was amazing to be submerged into an environment of family and friends who love me. Gosh I miss that. I thank God that Jay loves me more than a multitude of people ever could, but there's something nice about having a plethora of friends. It was so great to hang out with my family again. My parents moved out of our childhood home the day after I flew out. It was great to be there one last time. I can't wait till they come here in December! FUN FUN! The CWJ crowd flew out on tuesday. Man I wish I could go for a week to camp in NC. I hope you guys have an amazing summer! Hope the drama-mometer isn't exploding! Gadzooks....
Coming back to Tallahassee showed me how different life in Newfoundland really is, and how that magical place just doesn't exist anywhere else. I thank God for it, and for all of the people there. I would give anything to transplant you all here. Thank you for loving Jay and I and missing us both. You are awesome friends. PLEASE COME SEE ME!
Monday it was back to work as usual. It was as if I never left...literally. I don't think anyone noticed I was gone to tell you the truth! Ha!Ha!
Well the cleaning lady, Hazel welcomed me back...she is the cutest little thing!
My amazing husband greeted me at the airport with a much needed hug and a bouquet of flowers. He is incredible. I missed him a disgusting amount.
Everyone was bummed that you didn't come home Jay! YOU ARE LOVED! Never forget that!
Well this didn't turn out to be very negative at all....thats what remembering Newfoundland can do! It can change your day for the better!
Thank you Newfoundland for being outrageously cool. Can't wait to see you again!
Sunday, May 22, 2005
0 comments makes me sad! Going home makes me happy!
No comments = low self-esteem...think about that 'friends.' heehee
I am listening to the Army's new 'Transmission' C.D. Desmond you're awesome. I am privaledged to have boogied with you in the 'Blind Beggars'. I have some rough copies of Youth Councils 2002...crazy man. Crazy.
So I am going home to Newfoundland in 5 days. OH MY GOSH I am freaking out excited. I am going to squish my little mommy when I see her and eat drumsticks with my dad. They're the greatest. It's going to be kind of surreal going home this time, it'll be the last time I visit the house that I grew up in. I'm really excited for my parents, this is an exciting chapter in their lives. Time to party in retirement. Go mom and dad! Don't go TOO crazy!
Going home is such a great time. Especially this time cause we're all going to be congregated at Nevin and Sarah's wedding, who I might add, were hooked up by...moi.
Usually when I come home I am trying like crazy to get everyone under one roof, and I always end up missing someone, but thanks to Nevin and Sarah getting hitched, I don't even have to arrange the party! I can't wait! I missed way too many weddings so I am blessed to be going to this one. Even Matt Fudge is going to be there. CRAZY! I am going to see people I have not seen in like 3 years. Madness. I am stoked! I also can't wait to see my little bainer and to cruise around in her hot car! Amy if you're reading this...get to baking those cookies. I've missed out on WAY too many batches this year.
Jason can't come home with me unfortunatly. Someone's gotta bring home the bacon! I really wish he could come, but the wedding and all the catching up with old friends would be very tiring and montonous for him. I LOVE social gatherings, Jason not so much. I guess if one good thing comes from me going without him it is that I can submerge myself into a sea of old faces without him wanting to run for the door. It can be pretty intimidating going to Newfoundland as a non-newf, married to a newf. Anyone reading this from tallahassee, keep the poor boy company. I will miss him dearly.
Oh my..I need to go to the Richmond's house and wash my clothes..Thanks Carey!
I CAN NOT WAIT TILL FRIDAY! AHHHHHHH!
I am listening to the Army's new 'Transmission' C.D. Desmond you're awesome. I am privaledged to have boogied with you in the 'Blind Beggars'. I have some rough copies of Youth Councils 2002...crazy man. Crazy.
So I am going home to Newfoundland in 5 days. OH MY GOSH I am freaking out excited. I am going to squish my little mommy when I see her and eat drumsticks with my dad. They're the greatest. It's going to be kind of surreal going home this time, it'll be the last time I visit the house that I grew up in. I'm really excited for my parents, this is an exciting chapter in their lives. Time to party in retirement. Go mom and dad! Don't go TOO crazy!
Going home is such a great time. Especially this time cause we're all going to be congregated at Nevin and Sarah's wedding, who I might add, were hooked up by...moi.
Usually when I come home I am trying like crazy to get everyone under one roof, and I always end up missing someone, but thanks to Nevin and Sarah getting hitched, I don't even have to arrange the party! I can't wait! I missed way too many weddings so I am blessed to be going to this one. Even Matt Fudge is going to be there. CRAZY! I am going to see people I have not seen in like 3 years. Madness. I am stoked! I also can't wait to see my little bainer and to cruise around in her hot car! Amy if you're reading this...get to baking those cookies. I've missed out on WAY too many batches this year.
Jason can't come home with me unfortunatly. Someone's gotta bring home the bacon! I really wish he could come, but the wedding and all the catching up with old friends would be very tiring and montonous for him. I LOVE social gatherings, Jason not so much. I guess if one good thing comes from me going without him it is that I can submerge myself into a sea of old faces without him wanting to run for the door. It can be pretty intimidating going to Newfoundland as a non-newf, married to a newf. Anyone reading this from tallahassee, keep the poor boy company. I will miss him dearly.
Oh my..I need to go to the Richmond's house and wash my clothes..Thanks Carey!
I CAN NOT WAIT TILL FRIDAY! AHHHHHHH!
Saturday, May 21, 2005
Can't Sleep
Can't sleep tonight. Partially because I WAY over slept this morning, partially because I am fidgity. I just can't lie still tonight, yet I am so tired. Isn't that wierd? How you can be exhausted but unable to sleep. It stinks. Luckily, this is not a habit for me, just a once in a while thing. So I figured I would use this time to write a blog entry, since nothing and no one is needing my attention, except for a re-run of Rosanne, which I am not at all interested in...she is an annoying woman.
So....what to write about. We went to see a movie tonight called, "Crash" It was very good. It was about a variety of people of different cultures and backgrounds who all live and somehow come in contact with eachother in Los Angelos, CA. It was interesting to see how they stereotyped eachother based on age, gender, race, occupation and religion. It was also interesting because every character was both the good guy and the bad guy. It kind of caused the audience to have mercy on all parties involved no matter what good or evil things they did through out the film. It gave the watcher the benefit of seeing the whole story. I really liked it. Two thumbs up!
What else...Mmmm i figured out as of recently that getting married completely upsets your circadian rhythm. I don't know if I spelt that right, but it is the rhythm that your body has of sleeping. As a single person, I did my devotions before bed and prayed after the lights were out by whispering to God all alone in my room. I would then turn on the tv on mute or the radio on low so that I would have some sound to fall asleep to. Once I got married, I had to begin doing my devotions with jason at night before bed, but my personal time with God has become a morning ritual, which I think serves me better spiritually anyway. But at night I find it really hard to get to sleep without some noise in the room, where as Jason falls asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow. Having a tv in the room or having the radio on would disturb him where as for me it would usher me into sleep. It always takes me a really long time to wind down at night even when I am dog tired. My mind races, not worrying really, but just planning and thinking and recalling events, so then when I do fall asleep I dream vividly all night long. Sometimes I dream that I am running around all night, really busy, so when I wake up I am exhausted. Other times I dream that someone around me did something horrible, and I wake up the next morning really mad at them for the rest of the day. Either way I always wake up feeling more tired than when I went to bed. I want to take part in a sleep study sometime. Maybe I'll find out something interesting about my sleep pattern.
Well, I have suddenly become EXTREMELY boring, so I am going to go try and get some sleep! Thanks for suffering through this entry. HEEHEE!
So....what to write about. We went to see a movie tonight called, "Crash" It was very good. It was about a variety of people of different cultures and backgrounds who all live and somehow come in contact with eachother in Los Angelos, CA. It was interesting to see how they stereotyped eachother based on age, gender, race, occupation and religion. It was also interesting because every character was both the good guy and the bad guy. It kind of caused the audience to have mercy on all parties involved no matter what good or evil things they did through out the film. It gave the watcher the benefit of seeing the whole story. I really liked it. Two thumbs up!
What else...Mmmm i figured out as of recently that getting married completely upsets your circadian rhythm. I don't know if I spelt that right, but it is the rhythm that your body has of sleeping. As a single person, I did my devotions before bed and prayed after the lights were out by whispering to God all alone in my room. I would then turn on the tv on mute or the radio on low so that I would have some sound to fall asleep to. Once I got married, I had to begin doing my devotions with jason at night before bed, but my personal time with God has become a morning ritual, which I think serves me better spiritually anyway. But at night I find it really hard to get to sleep without some noise in the room, where as Jason falls asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow. Having a tv in the room or having the radio on would disturb him where as for me it would usher me into sleep. It always takes me a really long time to wind down at night even when I am dog tired. My mind races, not worrying really, but just planning and thinking and recalling events, so then when I do fall asleep I dream vividly all night long. Sometimes I dream that I am running around all night, really busy, so when I wake up I am exhausted. Other times I dream that someone around me did something horrible, and I wake up the next morning really mad at them for the rest of the day. Either way I always wake up feeling more tired than when I went to bed. I want to take part in a sleep study sometime. Maybe I'll find out something interesting about my sleep pattern.
Well, I have suddenly become EXTREMELY boring, so I am going to go try and get some sleep! Thanks for suffering through this entry. HEEHEE!
Sunday, May 15, 2005
What I've learned from reading the bible and watching COPS
If I was a lawyer fighting a battle for someone in court, I would need to have proof. Actual, physical evidence in order to plead my case. I would need facts, undeniable truth to show the jury that I was telling them accurate information.
Jason and I watch COPS every Saturday night. This show is crazy! They catch people red-handed in the act of some illegal activity and these criminals will say up right and center that they did not do it. "I might be in a stolen car officer, but I didn't steal it. My friend let me borrow it. I can't remember his name or when he let me have it, but that's the truth!"
The thing that blows my mind is that before the show begins a voice comes on and says, "All suspects are innoncent until PROVEN guilty." The person may have stolen 6000 cars over the weekend, but the truth is that unless someone has some evidence, and some hard core, tangible, facts, and an eye witness, that man will walk away without a conviction.
In the same way, if I don't allow my heavenly Father to present himself fully in my life and ministry, in a factual, tangible way, and If I can't honestly bear witness to his power, people are going to walk away without a spiritual conviction.
We live in a world of skeptical thinkers. People who need facts and evidence, pros and cons, in order to weigh decisions and conform or not conform to certain ideas of life. What blows me away is that we as Christians expect to win souls for Christ by presenting them idle words about a God that we tell them they can not see, touch, feel or hear. We expect them to give their lives in surrender to someone they may have only heard of once, just because we've told them to. We assure them it's a good decision, that life will be better, that God loves them and that he is all powerful and real and they say 'prove it.' Unfortunatly, the last time that alot of us have had an actual physical, spitirual, mental and emotional encounter with God was during our Salvation moment.
I grew up in a Christian home, and was told that I uttered the words "Jesus, come into my heart," when I was three years old, but of course I don't remember that moment. I've grown in my Salvation, daily having my relationship with Christ become more real and intimate. The problem is that I, for a long time, thought that I had missed what everyone else got to experience. I often coveted the people who had a radical Salvation experience, and I use to think it would almost be better to have tasted a life without Christ so that I could have that moment, that one moment where God shows himself to his people, and fully know the beauty of a life with Christ. I guess I thought that at that moment of Salvation, God did something within a person that I would never experience or understand. I realize now how big of a lie this is.
In Exodus, God sends Moses to the Israelite people, his own God fearing people, to tell them God was going to do awesome things and set them free. He convinced them to follow his leading not through mere words, but through the signs and wonders that God enabled him to show them. He turned a staff into a snake and then reversed the process again. He showed them his deseased hand and they watched him heal it before their very eyes. Once they saw this, they followed him. Now the Israelites aren't really highlighted in scripture as being the easiest crowd to convince. They doubted God after the ten plagues, the parting of the Red Sea, Manna from Heaven and the celestial creation of the ten commandment Tablets. But we expect people to follow God by words alone.....interesting.
Jason and I are being led, by God, to a new understanding of Christianity. Often times our churches conflict with the one we serve. Our churches appear powerless, but God is powerful. Our churches move slowly, God is radical and miraculous and can change everything in a moment. Our churches are often times run by means of popularity, God says please me not man.
God is not going to do anything to hurt us. It's time we not only believe that he can do radical things, but that we start putting ourselves out there in faith, believing and expecting them to happen, right now.
As an Evangelist, I am trying to convince a world without Christ that he is the answer, and I'm tired of doing that with my fingers crossed hoping they'll get it. Instead I choose to go out, scared to death more than likely, and expect God to convince people through me that he is alive, real, loving, powerful, the one and only God and I am not going to limit him to just my words alone. If you are sensing God moving you towards a radical new relationship with him, it's not going to be easy. You will in fact be persecuted by the people you least expected would persecute you, but don't loose heart.
"Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness sake, For thiers is the Kingdom of Heaven" Matthew 5:10
"Bad boys, bad boys, watcha gonna do....."
Jason and I watch COPS every Saturday night. This show is crazy! They catch people red-handed in the act of some illegal activity and these criminals will say up right and center that they did not do it. "I might be in a stolen car officer, but I didn't steal it. My friend let me borrow it. I can't remember his name or when he let me have it, but that's the truth!"
The thing that blows my mind is that before the show begins a voice comes on and says, "All suspects are innoncent until PROVEN guilty." The person may have stolen 6000 cars over the weekend, but the truth is that unless someone has some evidence, and some hard core, tangible, facts, and an eye witness, that man will walk away without a conviction.
In the same way, if I don't allow my heavenly Father to present himself fully in my life and ministry, in a factual, tangible way, and If I can't honestly bear witness to his power, people are going to walk away without a spiritual conviction.
We live in a world of skeptical thinkers. People who need facts and evidence, pros and cons, in order to weigh decisions and conform or not conform to certain ideas of life. What blows me away is that we as Christians expect to win souls for Christ by presenting them idle words about a God that we tell them they can not see, touch, feel or hear. We expect them to give their lives in surrender to someone they may have only heard of once, just because we've told them to. We assure them it's a good decision, that life will be better, that God loves them and that he is all powerful and real and they say 'prove it.' Unfortunatly, the last time that alot of us have had an actual physical, spitirual, mental and emotional encounter with God was during our Salvation moment.
I grew up in a Christian home, and was told that I uttered the words "Jesus, come into my heart," when I was three years old, but of course I don't remember that moment. I've grown in my Salvation, daily having my relationship with Christ become more real and intimate. The problem is that I, for a long time, thought that I had missed what everyone else got to experience. I often coveted the people who had a radical Salvation experience, and I use to think it would almost be better to have tasted a life without Christ so that I could have that moment, that one moment where God shows himself to his people, and fully know the beauty of a life with Christ. I guess I thought that at that moment of Salvation, God did something within a person that I would never experience or understand. I realize now how big of a lie this is.
In Exodus, God sends Moses to the Israelite people, his own God fearing people, to tell them God was going to do awesome things and set them free. He convinced them to follow his leading not through mere words, but through the signs and wonders that God enabled him to show them. He turned a staff into a snake and then reversed the process again. He showed them his deseased hand and they watched him heal it before their very eyes. Once they saw this, they followed him. Now the Israelites aren't really highlighted in scripture as being the easiest crowd to convince. They doubted God after the ten plagues, the parting of the Red Sea, Manna from Heaven and the celestial creation of the ten commandment Tablets. But we expect people to follow God by words alone.....interesting.
Jason and I are being led, by God, to a new understanding of Christianity. Often times our churches conflict with the one we serve. Our churches appear powerless, but God is powerful. Our churches move slowly, God is radical and miraculous and can change everything in a moment. Our churches are often times run by means of popularity, God says please me not man.
God is not going to do anything to hurt us. It's time we not only believe that he can do radical things, but that we start putting ourselves out there in faith, believing and expecting them to happen, right now.
As an Evangelist, I am trying to convince a world without Christ that he is the answer, and I'm tired of doing that with my fingers crossed hoping they'll get it. Instead I choose to go out, scared to death more than likely, and expect God to convince people through me that he is alive, real, loving, powerful, the one and only God and I am not going to limit him to just my words alone. If you are sensing God moving you towards a radical new relationship with him, it's not going to be easy. You will in fact be persecuted by the people you least expected would persecute you, but don't loose heart.
"Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness sake, For thiers is the Kingdom of Heaven" Matthew 5:10
"Bad boys, bad boys, watcha gonna do....."
Friday, May 13, 2005
Salvation, salvation, salvation!
Ok, so I know we're in The Salvation Army, but man, we need to focus on the whole picture here people! We as the "SALVATION" Army are very concerned and commited to the saving of lost souls, as well we should be, because everyone needs to know God in order to be his child and eventually spend eternity with him in paradise...or as many like to say, they need to know God so they don't BURN IN HELL....but what about life after Salvation? I'm talking about a little word called GROWTH. Spiritual growth. I wish we were called "The Salvation and Beyond Army" where we seek the lost and then remain committed to them being discipled growing spiritually and experiencing God's power. If you're like me and you've been saved since you were a child, you've probably forgotten that God wants to have power in your life everyday! Not just at your moment of Salvation. God is powerful. Part of me forgot that.
I have alot to say, but I have to go eat Thai food....
More Later....
I have alot to say, but I have to go eat Thai food....
More Later....
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Anticipation
I'm so anxious! In a good way, I am counting down the days for alot of things!
First I find that I am counting down the days till I can go back to Life Church. I've never really been that way about church before and it has nothing to do with social reasons or how great the worship team sounds or anything like that. Through God's word in that place I am sensing for the first time in a long time the awesome power of God. The leadership there is incredible and I feel so comfortable being led by the Pastor. There is power there, and the great thing is that God's power is not limited to certain denominations like we sometimes think. God can blow the roof off of any congregation with his amazing spirit. There needs to be some evidence of God's power in our lives, cause when the Holy Spirit baptizes your soul, there is power in that! You take on gifts and attributes that you never had before and God's will can be accomplished through you. For the first time in a long time I am not a spectator at church. It's been hard, but I am finally entering into a time of true worship when I am within God's sactuary, focusing just on him and not on music, people or most importantly, myself. It's hard to block yourself out and make honoring God your lifestyle but I am starting to see how I accomplish nothing living for my own agenda. God is so much greater and so much bigger than anything that can come my way. I've always sung that and heard that and said that, but I don't know that I've conceived that. That's big time stuff.
I read alot on people's blogs about worship and defining it correctly and how people are getting it wrong. God is going to take care of that by re-directing people. For a long time I had missed the boat on what worship truly is and it was through biblical truth and conviction of the Holy Spirit that led me to desire more and make my life about God and not about me. So if you have tapped into a lifestyle of worship, praise God for it and pray for others to tap into the same thing. Because Desmond you're right, arguing about it gets nowhere when two people have completely different definitions of what Worship is. I urge anyone who is bored in their Christian walk to dig deeper into God's word. There are amazing things in there and don't say you know it all, cause even in Heaven God is going to amaze us and astound us everyday with his awesomeness. If you are daily walking with your Lord you are going to develop a deeper and deeper relationship and it's impossible to get bored with that. Don't be afraid. Pray for God's power in your life and watch him use you to change the world!
First I find that I am counting down the days till I can go back to Life Church. I've never really been that way about church before and it has nothing to do with social reasons or how great the worship team sounds or anything like that. Through God's word in that place I am sensing for the first time in a long time the awesome power of God. The leadership there is incredible and I feel so comfortable being led by the Pastor. There is power there, and the great thing is that God's power is not limited to certain denominations like we sometimes think. God can blow the roof off of any congregation with his amazing spirit. There needs to be some evidence of God's power in our lives, cause when the Holy Spirit baptizes your soul, there is power in that! You take on gifts and attributes that you never had before and God's will can be accomplished through you. For the first time in a long time I am not a spectator at church. It's been hard, but I am finally entering into a time of true worship when I am within God's sactuary, focusing just on him and not on music, people or most importantly, myself. It's hard to block yourself out and make honoring God your lifestyle but I am starting to see how I accomplish nothing living for my own agenda. God is so much greater and so much bigger than anything that can come my way. I've always sung that and heard that and said that, but I don't know that I've conceived that. That's big time stuff.
I read alot on people's blogs about worship and defining it correctly and how people are getting it wrong. God is going to take care of that by re-directing people. For a long time I had missed the boat on what worship truly is and it was through biblical truth and conviction of the Holy Spirit that led me to desire more and make my life about God and not about me. So if you have tapped into a lifestyle of worship, praise God for it and pray for others to tap into the same thing. Because Desmond you're right, arguing about it gets nowhere when two people have completely different definitions of what Worship is. I urge anyone who is bored in their Christian walk to dig deeper into God's word. There are amazing things in there and don't say you know it all, cause even in Heaven God is going to amaze us and astound us everyday with his awesomeness. If you are daily walking with your Lord you are going to develop a deeper and deeper relationship and it's impossible to get bored with that. Don't be afraid. Pray for God's power in your life and watch him use you to change the world!
Sunday, May 08, 2005
I'm cheating on the blogger!
I have decided to also have a Xanga, in order to better communicate with the Salvationists of Florida. I was reluctant, but due to a frustrating blogger experience in which I could not upload photos quickly and easily, I decided to give xanga a try. Don't worry, I will post faithfully here as well.
My secondary page is
www.xanga.com/kathyunplugged
Enjoy!
My secondary page is
www.xanga.com/kathyunplugged
Enjoy!
Saturday, May 07, 2005
Transformation
God has been answering my prayers in an amazing way. I don't actually know how to document this on my blog but, my well trained Christian brain is being blown away and opened up to sides of God that I had forgotten about. When we first settled into Tallahassee, Jason and I knew that for our spiritual well-being (and our sanity) we had to find something outside of the Corps to plug into. We tried several different bible studies with people outside of the Salvation Army, but nothing was really fitting for us. We began watching this minister who was being broadcasted from some church here in Tallahassee on television sometimes. We'd be flicking through the channels and see him speaking so we would stop and be taken in by it. We found that every time we heard him speak, we were motivated and convicted to change for the better and strive for holiness. Jason decided to get together with this guy so that we could forge ministries and get to know eachother a little better. They got together and Jason decided to go to the early service at his church before the sunday morning meeting at the Salvation Army. He attended a few times alone, because I was teaching sunday school an was unable to go and he loved every minute of it. He would then come to the Corps completely renewed and in a worshipful state of mind. I decided one Wednesday night to go with him and I sat through a worship service where people were raising their hands and going forward and crying and being very charismatic. I sat there and prayed silently to myself, "God show yourself to me, speak to me audibly so I will know where I am suppose to go and what I am suppose to do with my life once this position at the army is all over." At that moment the preacher (Brian) said, "someone here is wondering what they are suppose to do and where they are suppose to go." and he continued to talk directly to me answering every prayer that I had prayed in that moment. Needless to say, i was freaked out and I left the service that night not wanting to return. I'm not one for the group stuff. I like to pray and worship alone....this was what I said to Jason this past Wednesday when he wanted to go back to the church to their Wednesday night worship service. I was tempted not to go, but I decided I would try it again. We got there and Pastor Brian began to preach a sermon that was completely and utterly directed at Jason and I. He made a biblical argument for all of my excuses about worship and not being "too out there." I felt really convicted and my heart began to beat out of my chest. He then called that for anyone who wanted to find more of God to come forward. Jason and I went up and I began to cry uncontrollably. Now anyone who knows me, knows that I do not do the crying thing. I look at it as weakness and I don't like attention unless I'm doing stand-up comedy, so this was beyond my own doing, it was a God thing. I let go of my fear of rejection and looking like a fool and I stood there praying out loud, "Father, there must be more than this. I know you're bigger than what I've experienced. Speak to me like you did to the people in the bible." So while I am praying the pastor goes to Jason and begins praying over him and before long Jason has experienced this crazy, supernatural thing and he begins yelling and screaming. This freaked me out. he sounded like he was in pain! But I trusted God with him and I kept praying. The Pastor then came to me, laid his hands on my head and began praying over me, which then turned into him prophesying over me AGAIN! He answered all of my prayers, through the power of God a second time, telling me things he could never have known about me and telling me where God is going to lead me in the future. I was blown away. I felt the power of God that night, for the first time in a long time. The next day I was a mess. I felt embarassed and stupid and ashamed. I was confused and I was actually afraid of the power that I had experienced. We met with the Pastor for lunch and he answered all of our questions and just really showed us that he cared about us for no other reason but that he jus did. He didn't have any alterior motives and in fact told us that no matter if we ever came to his church again, he wanted to have a relationships with us and would be there for us whenever. Christ's love is an amazing thing. It really makes all the difference. It's all about relationsips!
So to make a REALLY long story short, I have learned many things. That God is much more powerful and "super" natural then we, especially in the Salvation Army, give him credit as being. That we shouldn't grind our teeth and wait for heaven to experience God, we can do it right now. That our church will never have power unless we pray for it TOGETHER and stop being afraid of the Holy Spirit. That the great commission comands us to go out and make disciples and through the Holy Spirit we will lead people to Christ through the POWER of God (healing, preaching, prophesy, driving out demons, etc.)That God did not send Moses to his people powerless to convince them that God was with them, but he had signs and miracles to show them that God was there, otherwise they wouldn't have believed, so why do we walk around and try to convince people to believe a God they can't see, touch, feel or hear? The truth is we CAN experience God, and if we are not, it's because we have created a seperation between ourselves and him. Man, I'm so excited to go to church tomorrow, and I havn't felt that way in a long, long time.
Thank you God.
So to make a REALLY long story short, I have learned many things. That God is much more powerful and "super" natural then we, especially in the Salvation Army, give him credit as being. That we shouldn't grind our teeth and wait for heaven to experience God, we can do it right now. That our church will never have power unless we pray for it TOGETHER and stop being afraid of the Holy Spirit. That the great commission comands us to go out and make disciples and through the Holy Spirit we will lead people to Christ through the POWER of God (healing, preaching, prophesy, driving out demons, etc.)That God did not send Moses to his people powerless to convince them that God was with them, but he had signs and miracles to show them that God was there, otherwise they wouldn't have believed, so why do we walk around and try to convince people to believe a God they can't see, touch, feel or hear? The truth is we CAN experience God, and if we are not, it's because we have created a seperation between ourselves and him. Man, I'm so excited to go to church tomorrow, and I havn't felt that way in a long, long time.
Thank you God.
Monday, May 02, 2005
Ode to Cuddles
Friday, April 29th, 2005, the world said good-bye to a good and faithful friend. Cuddles Smith, our family dog since 1990, past away peacefully at Baccaleu Trail Animal Hospital. Cuddles was seriously more like a brother than a dog. I often accused my mother of loving him more than she loved me (which of course was not true but would make us all laugh) She would often confuse our names the way parents do with their children. She'd call me cuddles and cuddles Kathy. It was quite confusing for both of us.
Cuddles was a terrier mix, who barked like a savage anytime someone came to or exited from our home. He was our guard dog, who looked like a shrunken sheep dog protecting his flock. Veterinarians all over the world would disapprove of Cuddles very human-like diet. Every morning my mother would make him toast and coffee. That dog loved his coffee and would often whimper and beg until she made him a cup with cream and sugar. He loved Italian food. Spaghetti, lasagna, you name it. Mom would have to catch him when he was finished eatting it because if not he would run to the light colored carpet in the living room to wipe the tomato sauce from his beard. He loved his toys and understood three things.
#1) "Cuddles, where is your toy?" he would run and find it and bring it to you for a rousing game of fetch.
#2)"Dad's home!" He would run to the window and wag his tail expectantly for his Father to come in the drive way. From a 1/2 a mile away, Cuddles could see our car, recognize it, and begin barking his head of with excitement.
#3) last but not least was his name or anything that started with a 'C'. If I yelled, "cabbage," he'd come running. He didn't have alot going on upstairs, but he was precious to our family.
Mom noticed that he wasn't doing very well and so she brought him to the vet Friday morning. They did an X-ray and discovered that his lungs were taken over by cancer. There was nothing they could do, so they held him as he was put to sleep. That day they burried him beneath the honey suckle tree in our yard with all of his favorite toys. He was a good dog who lived a very long and beautiful life. He was spoiled rotten with love and attention. Part of me truly believes that all dogs go to heaven, and when Melissa and I were little we made sure that all of our animals accepted Christ. We even put their paws together as though they were praying. Some may say that's blasphemy, but when I was 7 and Melissa was 10, we were very concerned about the spiritual welfare of our animals.
If you're an animal lover and you can empathize with this situation, whisper a little prayer for the Smith Family in Green's Harbour, Newfoundland. We've lost a very important member of our family who will forever be remembered and missed.
Cuddles Smith
1990-2005
Cuddles was a terrier mix, who barked like a savage anytime someone came to or exited from our home. He was our guard dog, who looked like a shrunken sheep dog protecting his flock. Veterinarians all over the world would disapprove of Cuddles very human-like diet. Every morning my mother would make him toast and coffee. That dog loved his coffee and would often whimper and beg until she made him a cup with cream and sugar. He loved Italian food. Spaghetti, lasagna, you name it. Mom would have to catch him when he was finished eatting it because if not he would run to the light colored carpet in the living room to wipe the tomato sauce from his beard. He loved his toys and understood three things.
#1) "Cuddles, where is your toy?" he would run and find it and bring it to you for a rousing game of fetch.
#2)"Dad's home!" He would run to the window and wag his tail expectantly for his Father to come in the drive way. From a 1/2 a mile away, Cuddles could see our car, recognize it, and begin barking his head of with excitement.
#3) last but not least was his name or anything that started with a 'C'. If I yelled, "cabbage," he'd come running. He didn't have alot going on upstairs, but he was precious to our family.
Mom noticed that he wasn't doing very well and so she brought him to the vet Friday morning. They did an X-ray and discovered that his lungs were taken over by cancer. There was nothing they could do, so they held him as he was put to sleep. That day they burried him beneath the honey suckle tree in our yard with all of his favorite toys. He was a good dog who lived a very long and beautiful life. He was spoiled rotten with love and attention. Part of me truly believes that all dogs go to heaven, and when Melissa and I were little we made sure that all of our animals accepted Christ. We even put their paws together as though they were praying. Some may say that's blasphemy, but when I was 7 and Melissa was 10, we were very concerned about the spiritual welfare of our animals.
If you're an animal lover and you can empathize with this situation, whisper a little prayer for the Smith Family in Green's Harbour, Newfoundland. We've lost a very important member of our family who will forever be remembered and missed.
Cuddles Smith
1990-2005
Thursday, April 21, 2005
Holy Ghost Moment
bonjour friends!
Well last night was a great night! Jason and I went to a local university called Florida A & M University (FAMU). Veronica, a young adult at our corps and a student at FAMU invited us to sit on an answering panel with other pastors and church officials for a Religious Question and Answer session for students. Basically students would ask us anything they wanted about Christianity and religion in general and we would try our best to answer their questions and concerns. So we showed up at about 6:15, and it was suppose to start at 6:30. We went inside and met with three other people and waited for the happenings to begin. Well, one other person showed up which made the grand total, 6. All of which were on the answer panel. No students had showed up. So we decided to just introduce ourselves and then have prayer for FAMU and the city of Tallahassee. We gathered around and by the end of our prayer session (which lasted about 45 minutes) there were about 20 people there, all of whom were pastors and church officials who had come to answer questions. We prayed hard and God was very evidently in our midst. After our prayer time, we pulled over a podium and the pastors began to preach the words that God had laid on their hearts. It was amazing, because it was as though they had come there completely prepared to preach sermons on faith and prayer and evangelism. Their words were incredible! Then we pulled over the piano and started to sing songs and praise God together some more. We had testimonies and prayer and it was the most amazing experience. God totally had his way. It was as though we were old friends who had planned to come together and lift eachother up, pray, praise and preach. It was amazing, absolutly amazing. Through it I also made some much needed contacts with the different schools. I met a man who was involved heavily with "The Navigators" at Florida State University, and he is really excited about partnering with the Salvation Army. I also met the co-ordinator for "Jam 4 Jesus" at FAMU and joined her group! AND, Jason and I booked ourselves at three different church's to conduct services centered around evangelism. So it was the most productive night I've had since I've come to Tallahassee and it was all ordained and brought together by God. I've just been trying really hard to maintain a positive attitude of expectancy, thanking God in advance for his glorious blessings and its proving to be the best way to live. When you rely on God to meet your needs you don't have to worry, you don't have to waste time complaining or brainstorming ways out of your own problems, and you really don't have to work very hard to get his work done, cause he puts you in the right place at the right time and meets all of your needs.
Praise God. It was an incredible night!
Well last night was a great night! Jason and I went to a local university called Florida A & M University (FAMU). Veronica, a young adult at our corps and a student at FAMU invited us to sit on an answering panel with other pastors and church officials for a Religious Question and Answer session for students. Basically students would ask us anything they wanted about Christianity and religion in general and we would try our best to answer their questions and concerns. So we showed up at about 6:15, and it was suppose to start at 6:30. We went inside and met with three other people and waited for the happenings to begin. Well, one other person showed up which made the grand total, 6. All of which were on the answer panel. No students had showed up. So we decided to just introduce ourselves and then have prayer for FAMU and the city of Tallahassee. We gathered around and by the end of our prayer session (which lasted about 45 minutes) there were about 20 people there, all of whom were pastors and church officials who had come to answer questions. We prayed hard and God was very evidently in our midst. After our prayer time, we pulled over a podium and the pastors began to preach the words that God had laid on their hearts. It was amazing, because it was as though they had come there completely prepared to preach sermons on faith and prayer and evangelism. Their words were incredible! Then we pulled over the piano and started to sing songs and praise God together some more. We had testimonies and prayer and it was the most amazing experience. God totally had his way. It was as though we were old friends who had planned to come together and lift eachother up, pray, praise and preach. It was amazing, absolutly amazing. Through it I also made some much needed contacts with the different schools. I met a man who was involved heavily with "The Navigators" at Florida State University, and he is really excited about partnering with the Salvation Army. I also met the co-ordinator for "Jam 4 Jesus" at FAMU and joined her group! AND, Jason and I booked ourselves at three different church's to conduct services centered around evangelism. So it was the most productive night I've had since I've come to Tallahassee and it was all ordained and brought together by God. I've just been trying really hard to maintain a positive attitude of expectancy, thanking God in advance for his glorious blessings and its proving to be the best way to live. When you rely on God to meet your needs you don't have to worry, you don't have to waste time complaining or brainstorming ways out of your own problems, and you really don't have to work very hard to get his work done, cause he puts you in the right place at the right time and meets all of your needs.
Praise God. It was an incredible night!
Thursday, April 14, 2005
God wants to fill me with Wine....but I'm a Salvationist!
I'm reading this great book by Joel Osteen called "You're best life, NOW!"
I LOVE IT! It's really opening my eyes and showing me a side of God that I have forgotten about. The part of God that truly wants the best for me and wants me to be happy. I have had a saying for the past little while. "I think God has called me to a job that I'm not going to like." I'm starting to realize how wrong I am and how I have completed forgotten about the character of the God that I serve. God wants to bless me more than I could ever dream, and If I could see all that God has in store for me, it would blow my mind! I love God, and I've never stopped loving him, but I think part of me forgot why I love him. I love him because of who he is. He is Love. I love him because of his amazing character and his nature as my creator. I don't love him for what he's done, but I love him because of what motivates him to be so amazing and incredible. (thanks des, you're blog opened my eyes to that) I've also come to the realization that I need to start expecting great things to happen to me. In the book I've been reading, Osteen refers to a passage of scripture in which Jesus says, "You can't pour new wine into old wineskins." I've read this passage before and it never really sunk into my brain. But I now realize what Jesus was saying. When new wine is poured into a wineskin, the wineskin stretches out and looses its tightness. If you pour new wine into an old wineskin, the wineskin will burst, because it will have no more room to expand. Jesus is not going to pour blessings and fresh ideas into old attitudes. I've had a pesimistic attitude and I have expected that life is going to be hard. I've been meditating on the fact that we don't make alot of money, that getting a home is going to be nearly impossible for us anytime in the near future, that my job isn't going the way I want it to, and I've been dwelling on the impossibilities of my situations instead of praying expectantly that God is going to pour new wine into my life. I have made the decision to change my thinking, and I know that through this, God is going to change my life. I had fallen into the habit of feeling guilty all the time. I've tricked myself into thinking that every decision I make is the wrong one and that God is going to smite me because of it. I feel very freed by this renewel of my mind. It's a truth that I have known all my life but had lost grasp of. We say "God loves us" all the time, but if we really thought about that and believed it, then we would have no trouble tithing, our attitudes would be nothing short of excited and positive all the time, and spreading the gospel would be unavoidable for us. GOD LOVES US! And he wants to bless us. Not because we deserve it, but because he is just that crazy about us.
So I would like to publically thank God for my incredible job that fits me to a tee, the beautiful home I am going to own, the raise I'm going to receive at work, the joy I am going to maintain in my life, the Greencard I will soon hold in my hand, the unbelievable tangible and spiritual blessings that he is going to bestow upon me, because I have asked, I believe and I am his child. Some of you may be thinking, "What if nothing happens Kathy, what if you get your hopes up and nothing happens for you?"
I say, What if something does happen? Spending my life in eager expectancy, constantly thanking God is so much better than living it down in the dumps, not getting my hopes up. I say get your hopes up as high as you can get em' and thank God in advance for his incredible moving in your life. Get rid of the old attitude and choose to have a better one.
Do that, and Jesus will fill you with new wine, even if you're a Salvationist.
I LOVE IT! It's really opening my eyes and showing me a side of God that I have forgotten about. The part of God that truly wants the best for me and wants me to be happy. I have had a saying for the past little while. "I think God has called me to a job that I'm not going to like." I'm starting to realize how wrong I am and how I have completed forgotten about the character of the God that I serve. God wants to bless me more than I could ever dream, and If I could see all that God has in store for me, it would blow my mind! I love God, and I've never stopped loving him, but I think part of me forgot why I love him. I love him because of who he is. He is Love. I love him because of his amazing character and his nature as my creator. I don't love him for what he's done, but I love him because of what motivates him to be so amazing and incredible. (thanks des, you're blog opened my eyes to that) I've also come to the realization that I need to start expecting great things to happen to me. In the book I've been reading, Osteen refers to a passage of scripture in which Jesus says, "You can't pour new wine into old wineskins." I've read this passage before and it never really sunk into my brain. But I now realize what Jesus was saying. When new wine is poured into a wineskin, the wineskin stretches out and looses its tightness. If you pour new wine into an old wineskin, the wineskin will burst, because it will have no more room to expand. Jesus is not going to pour blessings and fresh ideas into old attitudes. I've had a pesimistic attitude and I have expected that life is going to be hard. I've been meditating on the fact that we don't make alot of money, that getting a home is going to be nearly impossible for us anytime in the near future, that my job isn't going the way I want it to, and I've been dwelling on the impossibilities of my situations instead of praying expectantly that God is going to pour new wine into my life. I have made the decision to change my thinking, and I know that through this, God is going to change my life. I had fallen into the habit of feeling guilty all the time. I've tricked myself into thinking that every decision I make is the wrong one and that God is going to smite me because of it. I feel very freed by this renewel of my mind. It's a truth that I have known all my life but had lost grasp of. We say "God loves us" all the time, but if we really thought about that and believed it, then we would have no trouble tithing, our attitudes would be nothing short of excited and positive all the time, and spreading the gospel would be unavoidable for us. GOD LOVES US! And he wants to bless us. Not because we deserve it, but because he is just that crazy about us.
So I would like to publically thank God for my incredible job that fits me to a tee, the beautiful home I am going to own, the raise I'm going to receive at work, the joy I am going to maintain in my life, the Greencard I will soon hold in my hand, the unbelievable tangible and spiritual blessings that he is going to bestow upon me, because I have asked, I believe and I am his child. Some of you may be thinking, "What if nothing happens Kathy, what if you get your hopes up and nothing happens for you?"
I say, What if something does happen? Spending my life in eager expectancy, constantly thanking God is so much better than living it down in the dumps, not getting my hopes up. I say get your hopes up as high as you can get em' and thank God in advance for his incredible moving in your life. Get rid of the old attitude and choose to have a better one.
Do that, and Jesus will fill you with new wine, even if you're a Salvationist.
Saturday, April 09, 2005
Good-bye Hair
I got my hair all cut off yesterday. It was down my back and now it barely touches my shoulders. I love it! I woke up yesterday in a pretty down mood and decided, "That's it! I'm going to get my hair cut!" It was a bold move for me, because I have been growing it out long for over a year, but I wasn't doing anything with it. I'd just wake up every morning, shower, and put it back in a pony tail. I wasn't using the hair that I grew so what was the point in having it weigh me down. Mmmm..Sounds like a spiritual analogy...Maybe for another time!
I went to a salon I had never been to before, in the mall close to my apartment. I walked in and said, "I want to chop my hair off." They checked the schedule and told me that a woman named Judy would cut my hair in 20 minutes. So I waited, and I prayed that Judy wouldn't ruin my head. Like I said, it was a big step and I wanted someone who really knew what they were doing. So about 35 minutes went by, and out walks this little woman in her 60's with a limp and she says, "Kathy Stock?"
I WAS SCARED TO DEATH! All around me were these young, trendy, hair dressers with fabulous hair and styles and I got grandma?!
So she asked me what I wanted done, and I began to tell her. She interrupted me and began to describe what she thought I wanted, and honestly, she was right on the money. We started going through the whole routine of washing and cutting and chatting. I told her I worked for the Salvation Army as an Evangelist and she went on to tell me that a good friend of hers was on the Advisory Board and that she was familiar with what we did. She then went on to tell me how her Salon Chair is her ministry, and that many people who have sat in that chair have listened intently to her share the gospel. She told me of struggles she had in her life and how God always saw her through. I told her I was new to Tallahassee and she gave me many words of encouragement. This woman at the hair salon was doing the job that I am paid to do, and she was doing it on me! She spent a lot of time on my hair, styling it and showing me different techniques, and when it was all over she didn't charge me for hardly anything. When I went to the counter and saw how little I had to pay she looked at me and said, "Welcome to Tallahassee." I hugged her and told her that I felt like God had made a divine appointment for me that day. It was a blessing at a much needed time, wrapped up in the kindness of a little 64 year old lady with a limp. My hair came out exactly how I wanted it too!
I've been in a bit of a funk lately. Everything has been weighing on me and I've been feeling so sorry for myself. Do you ever have one of those really bad attitudes that you know stinks but you just can't shake it? That's been me. I don't feel like I'm very good at my job, I don't have any passion or drive to do much of anything, I feel completely worn out and I haven't really been doing anything. I know that a lot of what I am feeling emotionally is effected by the mono and how I feel physically, but I hate using that as a crutch. At night, Jay has been working at the Homeless Coalition and I've been coming home alone. At first I loved having the time to myself, but the other night I realized that even if I did want to go out and do something with someone, I've got no one to call, and so I started getting pouty about that. "Boo Hoo I have no friends."
When I woke up and decided to get my hair cut, I wanted the change to reflect a change in attitude and direction and lifestyle. I don't know if that would have happened if I didn't meet Judy that day.
It's funny how God gives you what you need in places you wouldn't expect.
I went to a salon I had never been to before, in the mall close to my apartment. I walked in and said, "I want to chop my hair off." They checked the schedule and told me that a woman named Judy would cut my hair in 20 minutes. So I waited, and I prayed that Judy wouldn't ruin my head. Like I said, it was a big step and I wanted someone who really knew what they were doing. So about 35 minutes went by, and out walks this little woman in her 60's with a limp and she says, "Kathy Stock?"
I WAS SCARED TO DEATH! All around me were these young, trendy, hair dressers with fabulous hair and styles and I got grandma?!
So she asked me what I wanted done, and I began to tell her. She interrupted me and began to describe what she thought I wanted, and honestly, she was right on the money. We started going through the whole routine of washing and cutting and chatting. I told her I worked for the Salvation Army as an Evangelist and she went on to tell me that a good friend of hers was on the Advisory Board and that she was familiar with what we did. She then went on to tell me how her Salon Chair is her ministry, and that many people who have sat in that chair have listened intently to her share the gospel. She told me of struggles she had in her life and how God always saw her through. I told her I was new to Tallahassee and she gave me many words of encouragement. This woman at the hair salon was doing the job that I am paid to do, and she was doing it on me! She spent a lot of time on my hair, styling it and showing me different techniques, and when it was all over she didn't charge me for hardly anything. When I went to the counter and saw how little I had to pay she looked at me and said, "Welcome to Tallahassee." I hugged her and told her that I felt like God had made a divine appointment for me that day. It was a blessing at a much needed time, wrapped up in the kindness of a little 64 year old lady with a limp. My hair came out exactly how I wanted it too!
I've been in a bit of a funk lately. Everything has been weighing on me and I've been feeling so sorry for myself. Do you ever have one of those really bad attitudes that you know stinks but you just can't shake it? That's been me. I don't feel like I'm very good at my job, I don't have any passion or drive to do much of anything, I feel completely worn out and I haven't really been doing anything. I know that a lot of what I am feeling emotionally is effected by the mono and how I feel physically, but I hate using that as a crutch. At night, Jay has been working at the Homeless Coalition and I've been coming home alone. At first I loved having the time to myself, but the other night I realized that even if I did want to go out and do something with someone, I've got no one to call, and so I started getting pouty about that. "Boo Hoo I have no friends."
When I woke up and decided to get my hair cut, I wanted the change to reflect a change in attitude and direction and lifestyle. I don't know if that would have happened if I didn't meet Judy that day.
It's funny how God gives you what you need in places you wouldn't expect.
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
Jay on the World Wide Web
Hey Everyone
My brilliant husband who is usually not a fan of computers or anything they do, has begun putting his amazing thoughts down in blog form!
(I like to think I had a little hand in the inspiration process!)
You should definatly check it out! You can get to it by clicking on his sexy name on the side of this screen.
Make sure you leave him lots of comments!!
Yesterday was the 2 year anniversary of our engagement...feel's like forever ago! I guess most newly weds don't move three times and settle in two diiferent countries in their first year and a half of marriage.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger...and adds mileage to your Tacoma!
Through everything we've grown stronger as a unit, and I've watched my husband change and become more and more incredible everyday. Since coming to Tallahassee he has done so much for the Lord's kingdom. The corps here has seen about 30 new people over the past three months. Some have stayed, some have decided that our church is not for them (which is fine. I praise God for the many biblical demonations in the world) but 99.9% of everyone new who has walked through our doors has done so because of God working through Jason. I was sitting at the piano one Sunday when we were particularly littered with new faces, and I could point to just about all of them and say how Jason's outreach had brought them to church. He's become the master of relationships and relating to people from all walks of life. Blows my mind!
I praise God for the work that he is doing through this guy. It's funny how Jason's past of bad decisions and at times, devastation, has made him able to relate with anyone, anywhere, anytime. God's work through him is literally changing our city.
I'm feeling alot better, and I now have health insurance. Great timing. The fatigue part of this whole sickness is very inconvenient. I may hang a hammock on the end of my desk at work.
Anyway, Check out Jay's blog. It's great!
My brilliant husband who is usually not a fan of computers or anything they do, has begun putting his amazing thoughts down in blog form!
(I like to think I had a little hand in the inspiration process!)
You should definatly check it out! You can get to it by clicking on his sexy name on the side of this screen.
Make sure you leave him lots of comments!!
Yesterday was the 2 year anniversary of our engagement...feel's like forever ago! I guess most newly weds don't move three times and settle in two diiferent countries in their first year and a half of marriage.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger...and adds mileage to your Tacoma!
Through everything we've grown stronger as a unit, and I've watched my husband change and become more and more incredible everyday. Since coming to Tallahassee he has done so much for the Lord's kingdom. The corps here has seen about 30 new people over the past three months. Some have stayed, some have decided that our church is not for them (which is fine. I praise God for the many biblical demonations in the world) but 99.9% of everyone new who has walked through our doors has done so because of God working through Jason. I was sitting at the piano one Sunday when we were particularly littered with new faces, and I could point to just about all of them and say how Jason's outreach had brought them to church. He's become the master of relationships and relating to people from all walks of life. Blows my mind!
I praise God for the work that he is doing through this guy. It's funny how Jason's past of bad decisions and at times, devastation, has made him able to relate with anyone, anywhere, anytime. God's work through him is literally changing our city.
I'm feeling alot better, and I now have health insurance. Great timing. The fatigue part of this whole sickness is very inconvenient. I may hang a hammock on the end of my desk at work.
Anyway, Check out Jay's blog. It's great!
Running from the Devil
Since my last entry, I sat down with God and had a good talk. But then when I was done talking, I listened. I began to think new thoughts, which I know were placed in my brain by God. While speaking to him I kept repeating how I don't know how people live without him. I literally have no clue how people can walk around this world and not have Christ. I'd be a basket case! God showed me how that truth needs to be my inspiration in life. Spreading the gospel, not primarily so that people don't "BURN IN THE LAKE OF FIRE FOR ETERNITY" (eeek) but so that they don't have to live another second without Jesus. People are not walking around this world thinking, "How do I keep myself from burning forever when I die?" but instead they are thinking, "What's my purpose? Why am I so lonely? What does this all mean?"
The great thing about someone accepting Christ is that they can know Him and be with Him, live with purpose and eventually meet Him face to face. This approach to evangelism is so much more effective than, "Hey you, accept Christ or you're gonna burn and I don't want your blood on my hands, so since this all about me and you not burning, better commit to this guy you know nothing about."
Now that I have rekindled this understanding of spreading the gospel, I will be a more effective witness and light for Jesus Christ. I guess it's simply like choosing between saying, "Come to Jesus and live!" or, "Come to Jesus or DIE!"
I choose option A.
My husband is a phenomenal salesman. He ranked among the top sales people in the company he use to work for. He says the reason why he was good at his job was because he believed in what he was selling and he was passionate about it. There were some pieces of equipment in his store that he thought were garbage, and had alot of trouble selling them. He just didn't believe in them. He found it easier to sell more high-end, expensive stuff that he knew was top of the line. He focused his energy on telling the customer about the positive benefits of the good equipment. It's easier to use, low maintenance, longer life, safer, delivers better results. He didn't stand there and say, "You should buy this treadmill, because the other one you were looking at is built poorly, it's going to tear up your shoes, it won't last very long, the motor stinks, it's not safe.....blah, blah, blah."
This technique would leave the customer knowing nothing about the treadmill Jason was trying to sell, but instead they would have a head full of negativity and their time would be wasted. A customer doesn't stick around a store very long, so the sales approach has to be positive, effective and informative about what they should do and the positive effect it will have on their lives. It helps if the person can speak from personal experience.
I think we as Christians, especially as Salvationists, spend alot of time focusing on 'hell avoidance.' It is true that you can not get to heaven except by the Son of God, but do we want to scare a bunch of people into Salvation or do we want to attract people to unconditional love, forgiveness, peace and joy? People today associate Fire and Brimstone preaching with a cold and out-to-lunch church that just wants to be right. I say we show people Jesus so they can know whether or not they want to know this man and allow him to rule their lives. You and I know that if they can REALLY see Jesus in us and through us, they won't be able to say anything but, "Yes, I want to know this man, I want to love this man, and I someday want to meet this man named Jesus."
People want Jesus, and alot of them are already living in their own personal hell. Let's show them the light instead of making them afraid of the dark. That way we will see Christians who not only despise sin, but love Jesus Christ more than anything.
The great thing about someone accepting Christ is that they can know Him and be with Him, live with purpose and eventually meet Him face to face. This approach to evangelism is so much more effective than, "Hey you, accept Christ or you're gonna burn and I don't want your blood on my hands, so since this all about me and you not burning, better commit to this guy you know nothing about."
Now that I have rekindled this understanding of spreading the gospel, I will be a more effective witness and light for Jesus Christ. I guess it's simply like choosing between saying, "Come to Jesus and live!" or, "Come to Jesus or DIE!"
I choose option A.
My husband is a phenomenal salesman. He ranked among the top sales people in the company he use to work for. He says the reason why he was good at his job was because he believed in what he was selling and he was passionate about it. There were some pieces of equipment in his store that he thought were garbage, and had alot of trouble selling them. He just didn't believe in them. He found it easier to sell more high-end, expensive stuff that he knew was top of the line. He focused his energy on telling the customer about the positive benefits of the good equipment. It's easier to use, low maintenance, longer life, safer, delivers better results. He didn't stand there and say, "You should buy this treadmill, because the other one you were looking at is built poorly, it's going to tear up your shoes, it won't last very long, the motor stinks, it's not safe.....blah, blah, blah."
This technique would leave the customer knowing nothing about the treadmill Jason was trying to sell, but instead they would have a head full of negativity and their time would be wasted. A customer doesn't stick around a store very long, so the sales approach has to be positive, effective and informative about what they should do and the positive effect it will have on their lives. It helps if the person can speak from personal experience.
I think we as Christians, especially as Salvationists, spend alot of time focusing on 'hell avoidance.' It is true that you can not get to heaven except by the Son of God, but do we want to scare a bunch of people into Salvation or do we want to attract people to unconditional love, forgiveness, peace and joy? People today associate Fire and Brimstone preaching with a cold and out-to-lunch church that just wants to be right. I say we show people Jesus so they can know whether or not they want to know this man and allow him to rule their lives. You and I know that if they can REALLY see Jesus in us and through us, they won't be able to say anything but, "Yes, I want to know this man, I want to love this man, and I someday want to meet this man named Jesus."
People want Jesus, and alot of them are already living in their own personal hell. Let's show them the light instead of making them afraid of the dark. That way we will see Christians who not only despise sin, but love Jesus Christ more than anything.
Saturday, April 02, 2005
Late Night Ramblings
It's really late. Well, late for me anyways. I can't sleep tonight, which is wierd cause I've done nothing but sleep for a really long time. I guess it's all catching up with me. I've got lots of things on my mind tonight. I feel awful that I've missed so much work, even though I know I was physically unable to go. I've always had this problem of wanting everyone around me to be OK with my life and my decisions. It's wierd and it is the number one thing that I would change about myself. I find myself wanting to go around and justify to everyone just how sick I was and how I really needed the rest so people won't think that I am lazy or weak. I talked to my friend Johnny about this problem and he gave me some wonderful pearls of wisdom. He said, "Kathy, there are people in this world who if you pooped out Gold for them, they'd complain because you had to poop it out."
As 'stinky' as this analogy may be, he was absolutly right. I just wish there was a way to please everyone, all of the time and still be happy yourself. But I guess there's only one perfect place and it's in another realm.
Another thought that I am wrestling with is about the Salvation Army. I guess I've been a bit discouraged by it even though the corps in Tallahassee is growing leaps and bounds. As a young Salvationist, the last thing that I want to be is an Army basher. There's too much of that going on already. I am a firm believer that problems shouldn't be brought up unless there are solutions to follow and that people shouldn't complain abou something if their not going to get their hands dirty to fix it. Since coming to the Army in America, I've learned many things. It is a VERY different Army than I am use to, a much more difficult one to be a part of in all honesty, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Anything worth being a part of is worth fighting for. The mission and the history and the drive of people to spread the gospel are why I became a soldier however, I've been hurt more by people in the Army then in any other walk of life, which is why I praise God that I have learned early on that the Army is not what I have a problem with, but it is the people and the decisions. Like any organization, the Army can not be run by hampsters, so if I choose to be a member of this 'movement' I must make peace with those who run it. There my friends, lies my problem. I have been having a grim outlook lately as to where the Army is being taken. There is much 'talk' and much good intention to bring the Army back and make it about the people again, but the talk is much bigger than the movement. I know that God is raising up a new Army. I've seen indivduals from different parts of North America develop the same passions and drives for an evangelistic Army, and the only way it is possible for all of these strangers to share the same passion is The Holy Spirit. I'm encouraged by what I see Salvationists discovering and the steps that are being made towards a radical and Hazardous church that really 'impacts' the world for God. I guess I'm overwhelmed by how much work there is to be done and how the ripple effect that I see occuring in the waters of the Army are so small. I guess I want a 6 second ABS kind of Army. A 6 second Army. I want change NOW! The Army is such a burocracy that those on the front lines have very little to no voice yet they are the ones with the vision and the drive for an effective Army. People tell Jason and I all the time that our thoughts and fears and annoyances with this 'establishment' are exactly why we need to stick with it and come into a position where we can make decisions to change it for the better, but alot of the time our discouragement outweighs our drive and we wonder if we are in the right denomination. Here is what I have learned from writing all of these thoughts down. (this is why I blog...i learn alot more about myself)
1) I don't have a problem with "The Salvation Army", I have a problem with where people have taken it and where it will inevidably end up if our focus remains "country club" and not "reaching people, anyway possible."
2) I need am completely committed to my job as a Salvation Army Mission Specialist here in Tallahassee because this position allows me the unique privelege of being paid to tell people about Jesus and that's it! I'm not an assistant or a youth worker or a music director...I am literally paid to tell people about Christ and invite them to church and it is working! The numbers speak for themselves! Praise God!
3) I need to continue to PRAY long and hard for this Army, my role in it, the movement that is taking place, the leadership that is established and my prayer will be just as that of William Booth. I can't remember the General's exact words, but he said that if the Army stopped doing what it was raised up to do he would pray that God would put an end to it. More famously, William Booth said the following:
"While women weep as they do now, I’ll fight; while little children go hungry as they do now, I’ll fight; while men go to prison, in and out, in and out, as they do now, I’ll fight; while there is a drunkard left, while there is a poor lost girl on the streets, while there remains one dark soul without the light of God, I’ll fight – I’ll fight to the very end."
I believe we need to pick our battles, and people are worth fighting for...every single time. I hope and pray that over the next 20 months of my employment with The Salvation Army that I will see an Army that actually fights, that takes more time to make relationships with the unsaved from every walk of life, that DOES just as much as it SAYS and spends more money on meeting the physical needs of the poor than it does on 'US' stuff like retreats and hand scanners at DHQ. Show me that Army and I will fight in it, either way I'll fight the good fight of faith and try my best to share Jesus with everyone I meet. I'm thankful that God has placed us here with fresh new leaders and so much ground work to be done.
Wow this is a really long winded and slightly controversial entry for me. Hope I didn't come across as being too whinny...just had to get all of that off my chest.
To end on a positive note...MY THROAT IS NORMAL SIZE AGAIN! WAHOO! I hope I can spread Jesus without spreading Mono.
As 'stinky' as this analogy may be, he was absolutly right. I just wish there was a way to please everyone, all of the time and still be happy yourself. But I guess there's only one perfect place and it's in another realm.
Another thought that I am wrestling with is about the Salvation Army. I guess I've been a bit discouraged by it even though the corps in Tallahassee is growing leaps and bounds. As a young Salvationist, the last thing that I want to be is an Army basher. There's too much of that going on already. I am a firm believer that problems shouldn't be brought up unless there are solutions to follow and that people shouldn't complain abou something if their not going to get their hands dirty to fix it. Since coming to the Army in America, I've learned many things. It is a VERY different Army than I am use to, a much more difficult one to be a part of in all honesty, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Anything worth being a part of is worth fighting for. The mission and the history and the drive of people to spread the gospel are why I became a soldier however, I've been hurt more by people in the Army then in any other walk of life, which is why I praise God that I have learned early on that the Army is not what I have a problem with, but it is the people and the decisions. Like any organization, the Army can not be run by hampsters, so if I choose to be a member of this 'movement' I must make peace with those who run it. There my friends, lies my problem. I have been having a grim outlook lately as to where the Army is being taken. There is much 'talk' and much good intention to bring the Army back and make it about the people again, but the talk is much bigger than the movement. I know that God is raising up a new Army. I've seen indivduals from different parts of North America develop the same passions and drives for an evangelistic Army, and the only way it is possible for all of these strangers to share the same passion is The Holy Spirit. I'm encouraged by what I see Salvationists discovering and the steps that are being made towards a radical and Hazardous church that really 'impacts' the world for God. I guess I'm overwhelmed by how much work there is to be done and how the ripple effect that I see occuring in the waters of the Army are so small. I guess I want a 6 second ABS kind of Army. A 6 second Army. I want change NOW! The Army is such a burocracy that those on the front lines have very little to no voice yet they are the ones with the vision and the drive for an effective Army. People tell Jason and I all the time that our thoughts and fears and annoyances with this 'establishment' are exactly why we need to stick with it and come into a position where we can make decisions to change it for the better, but alot of the time our discouragement outweighs our drive and we wonder if we are in the right denomination. Here is what I have learned from writing all of these thoughts down. (this is why I blog...i learn alot more about myself)
1) I don't have a problem with "The Salvation Army", I have a problem with where people have taken it and where it will inevidably end up if our focus remains "country club" and not "reaching people, anyway possible."
2) I need am completely committed to my job as a Salvation Army Mission Specialist here in Tallahassee because this position allows me the unique privelege of being paid to tell people about Jesus and that's it! I'm not an assistant or a youth worker or a music director...I am literally paid to tell people about Christ and invite them to church and it is working! The numbers speak for themselves! Praise God!
3) I need to continue to PRAY long and hard for this Army, my role in it, the movement that is taking place, the leadership that is established and my prayer will be just as that of William Booth. I can't remember the General's exact words, but he said that if the Army stopped doing what it was raised up to do he would pray that God would put an end to it. More famously, William Booth said the following:
"While women weep as they do now, I’ll fight; while little children go hungry as they do now, I’ll fight; while men go to prison, in and out, in and out, as they do now, I’ll fight; while there is a drunkard left, while there is a poor lost girl on the streets, while there remains one dark soul without the light of God, I’ll fight – I’ll fight to the very end."
I believe we need to pick our battles, and people are worth fighting for...every single time. I hope and pray that over the next 20 months of my employment with The Salvation Army that I will see an Army that actually fights, that takes more time to make relationships with the unsaved from every walk of life, that DOES just as much as it SAYS and spends more money on meeting the physical needs of the poor than it does on 'US' stuff like retreats and hand scanners at DHQ. Show me that Army and I will fight in it, either way I'll fight the good fight of faith and try my best to share Jesus with everyone I meet. I'm thankful that God has placed us here with fresh new leaders and so much ground work to be done.
Wow this is a really long winded and slightly controversial entry for me. Hope I didn't come across as being too whinny...just had to get all of that off my chest.
To end on a positive note...MY THROAT IS NORMAL SIZE AGAIN! WAHOO! I hope I can spread Jesus without spreading Mono.
Thursday, March 31, 2005
Feeling so much better today!
PRAISE THE LORD! Things weren't looking good, but you're thoughts and prayers got me through the darkness and into the light! WAHOO! I can talk and I don't sound like my voicebox is being crushed! Hopefully I will be back to work on Monday. Good thing too cause we're starvin over here! (kidding)
This is a quickee, just wanted to let my friends know that I am ALIVE! Thank you to people who called and left messages of hope. I was pretty down. I leave you with a quote:
"...the goal of education and formation for the ministry
is continually to recognize the Lord's voice,
his face, and his touch in every person we meet."
(Henri Nouwen)
This is a quickee, just wanted to let my friends know that I am ALIVE! Thank you to people who called and left messages of hope. I was pretty down. I leave you with a quote:
"...the goal of education and formation for the ministry
is continually to recognize the Lord's voice,
his face, and his touch in every person we meet."
(Henri Nouwen)
Monday, March 28, 2005
Mono = House Arrest
On St. Patricks Day (March 17th) I developed a fever. I took it easy for the next couple of days, waking up on Sunday to find that my glands were very swollen and puffy. On Monday, my husband took me to the doctor, where Dr. Peters prescribed pencillian and plenty of rest. In the days to follow, my throat became more and more swelled until breathing and swallowing had become somewhat difficult. Saturday we returned to the doctors office where they administered a Mono test and guess what? I Passed with flying colours. They gave me a shot in my right cheek (not the one on my face) and told me that I would have to wait it out for the next 6 weeks.
Needless to say, I spent Easter morning alone at home and i've been in alot of pain for the past few days. Today the doctor called in some Codeine for me, and that has made today very enjoyable.
I feel terrible about missing so much work. This is such a crucial time for my student ministry and there was so much I had planned to do. I was very excited about getting out into the community in the next couple of weeks. Things had been kind of at a stand still for a while because I didn't have a car, but then God supplied that need. I was so excited about getting on campus and promoting the SASF, starting 'Sunday's Cool' and really pounding the pavement. I guess I can still do that stuff if I hollar, "Unclean!Unclean!" everywhere I go. I miss civilization.
I don't know what I would do without Jason. Part of me has been trying to figure out where I contracted this illness. I just pray that whoever I caught it from is receiving the same love, affection and care that I am from my amazing husband. I really don't know what I would do or where I would be without him.
I'd like to solicite prayer if I could. I've been feeling really bad physically and God has taken me pretty far just in the past couple of days. Also, pray that Jason nor anyone else around me gets what I have. I wouldn't wish this on man or beast. Melissa, I would publically like to apologize to you for making fun of you when you had Mono way back in the day. This is no fun. Thanks for calling the other day. I love hearing from you.
That's it till next time. Leave me a comment. Do it!
Needless to say, I spent Easter morning alone at home and i've been in alot of pain for the past few days. Today the doctor called in some Codeine for me, and that has made today very enjoyable.
I feel terrible about missing so much work. This is such a crucial time for my student ministry and there was so much I had planned to do. I was very excited about getting out into the community in the next couple of weeks. Things had been kind of at a stand still for a while because I didn't have a car, but then God supplied that need. I was so excited about getting on campus and promoting the SASF, starting 'Sunday's Cool' and really pounding the pavement. I guess I can still do that stuff if I hollar, "Unclean!Unclean!" everywhere I go. I miss civilization.
I don't know what I would do without Jason. Part of me has been trying to figure out where I contracted this illness. I just pray that whoever I caught it from is receiving the same love, affection and care that I am from my amazing husband. I really don't know what I would do or where I would be without him.
I'd like to solicite prayer if I could. I've been feeling really bad physically and God has taken me pretty far just in the past couple of days. Also, pray that Jason nor anyone else around me gets what I have. I wouldn't wish this on man or beast. Melissa, I would publically like to apologize to you for making fun of you when you had Mono way back in the day. This is no fun. Thanks for calling the other day. I love hearing from you.
That's it till next time. Leave me a comment. Do it!
Friday, March 25, 2005
Good Friday
Good Friday. I am never satisfied with the way that I observe this day each year. How in the world do you observe such an occasion correctly? How do you give it the respect and the honor it deserves?
After observing "The Passion of The Christ" last year (during its overwhelming fame and controversy)I was deeply moved. I don't want to say that the movie 'changed my life' because Jesus did that far before the movie came out, however it did make it easier for my mind to wrap around the feelings and emotions of the people in those days. Mostly, in the middle of bawling like a baby, I felt a strange amount of relief, that I felt so much pain for my Lord. Sometimes it's easy to talk about the sacrifice that Jesus made for us as though there are words to describe it. Before witnessing this film last year, I was afraid what I might feel. What if I wasn't moved? What if I didn't feel? What if I didn't fit the mold of the other Christians around me who saw it and felt such emotion? Instead I found myself in the middle of the theater, in anguish, wanting to scream, "STOP IT!" at the top of my lungs. No film has ever impacted me like that and no film ever will after. Which leads me to the present Good Friday, which I find myself in the middle of. I am feeling sick (strep throat) which automatically puts me in a position where I am thinking about myself and how bad I feel. Having recognized this early in the day I've decided to knock that off.
I've been looking at the world around me and I am having a similar feeling today as I did a year ago in the theater. I want to scream, "STOP IT!"
I've been very angry this morning because from my couch the world is not observing the death of my Savior. It's still going at the same speed and doing the same things. Sports are still on TV and people are still going to see the new Friday movies. We have about 50 something channels I guess, and not one of them said anything about the passing of my Lord. I was mortified.
My husband had taken our Dog to the park. When he got home I shared with him my sadness as to Good Friday and the lack of respect it receives from the world, basing my opinion only on the media. Turns out, Jason met up with a few Christian friends at a coffee shop in the middle of the park. He said to me, "This morning in the coffee shop, it seemed as though everyone around me was talking about God. Either how much they loved him, or how mad they were at him or how much they didn't understand him."
He even ended up talking about Christ with a homosexual man who was desperately searching for something to believe in. So what have I learned...
I've learned that the only way to celebrate someone's life is to embrace their legacy and their reason for living. Jesus made it quite obvious to us what he wanted us to do (this was after he had died, risen again and hung out on earth for a little while.) He gave us the great commission, and even if though the world tries to tell us all that God isn't real and isn't a subject of interest, a coffee shop in the middle of Tallahassee where my husband can take our Dog and enjoy a cup of Joe, tells me other wise. Jesus is alive and people desperately need Him.
"The Passion of The Christ."
After observing "The Passion of The Christ" last year (during its overwhelming fame and controversy)I was deeply moved. I don't want to say that the movie 'changed my life' because Jesus did that far before the movie came out, however it did make it easier for my mind to wrap around the feelings and emotions of the people in those days. Mostly, in the middle of bawling like a baby, I felt a strange amount of relief, that I felt so much pain for my Lord. Sometimes it's easy to talk about the sacrifice that Jesus made for us as though there are words to describe it. Before witnessing this film last year, I was afraid what I might feel. What if I wasn't moved? What if I didn't feel? What if I didn't fit the mold of the other Christians around me who saw it and felt such emotion? Instead I found myself in the middle of the theater, in anguish, wanting to scream, "STOP IT!" at the top of my lungs. No film has ever impacted me like that and no film ever will after. Which leads me to the present Good Friday, which I find myself in the middle of. I am feeling sick (strep throat) which automatically puts me in a position where I am thinking about myself and how bad I feel. Having recognized this early in the day I've decided to knock that off.
I've been looking at the world around me and I am having a similar feeling today as I did a year ago in the theater. I want to scream, "STOP IT!"
I've been very angry this morning because from my couch the world is not observing the death of my Savior. It's still going at the same speed and doing the same things. Sports are still on TV and people are still going to see the new Friday movies. We have about 50 something channels I guess, and not one of them said anything about the passing of my Lord. I was mortified.
My husband had taken our Dog to the park. When he got home I shared with him my sadness as to Good Friday and the lack of respect it receives from the world, basing my opinion only on the media. Turns out, Jason met up with a few Christian friends at a coffee shop in the middle of the park. He said to me, "This morning in the coffee shop, it seemed as though everyone around me was talking about God. Either how much they loved him, or how mad they were at him or how much they didn't understand him."
He even ended up talking about Christ with a homosexual man who was desperately searching for something to believe in. So what have I learned...
I've learned that the only way to celebrate someone's life is to embrace their legacy and their reason for living. Jesus made it quite obvious to us what he wanted us to do (this was after he had died, risen again and hung out on earth for a little while.) He gave us the great commission, and even if though the world tries to tell us all that God isn't real and isn't a subject of interest, a coffee shop in the middle of Tallahassee where my husband can take our Dog and enjoy a cup of Joe, tells me other wise. Jesus is alive and people desperately need Him.
"The Passion of The Christ."
Sunday, March 20, 2005
Fevers are a good thing
Hello there comrads!
This entry probably will not have a point or purpose except to give me something to do, because this is my 4th consecutive day locked in my apartment. I have this weird quickly rising and droping fever thing that just won't quit. One minute, 102...next minute, 98.6...one minute, freezing(brr)....next minute, sweating (PHEW!) It's been a pretty miserable last couple of days, but i've learned alot about fevers, given that i've had a plethora of time on my hands.
For example:
1) Fevers are a good thing. At least ones that are as low as mine. It means that my body is trying to fight something off before it can hurt me, like a virus or a bacteria. THANKS BODY!
2) You should not cover up when you have a fever but should instead wear cool clothes and only cover yourself in a sheet. I didn't know that before! It's really been the oddest sickness i've ever had.
We threw a St. Patricks day party at the local homeless shelter on Thursday. I went regardless of my feeling under the weather and it turned out to be WONDERFUL. We decorated and served green cake, icecream, cookies and even tea! It was great fun and we had ALOT more people then we anticipated which is always nice! We ran out of pretty much everything but no one seemed to mind. I had Newfoundland music playing in the background and two people started to do a jig! It reminded me so much of home. It was awesome. Praise God for his amazingness! I believe he was there doing a jig too!
I could not go to church today. That's not a good thing. Ya know how some mornings you wake up and you really don't want to go to church...well this morning I woke up and really wanted to go, but I feel pretty gross. Keep Kathy in your prayers!
What else is new...Mmmm, well COPS was a "Tazed and Confused" episode last night. Always a classic. Jay and I rented the movie "RAY." I always wonder how accurate biographical movies like that are. It was good. My dog ate a pen. I saw it this morning...outside...if ya know what I mean. HAHA!
Well since this is going nowhere fast I am going to go lie down. But in closing may I just say that my husband has done nothing but wait on me hand and foot. He has been taking SUCH good care of me. He's been up at all hours of the night with me and he has gone to the store to get me juce at ridiculous times. He has put many cold cloths on my head and thermometers in my mouth these past couple of days. He even cancelled going on a fishing trip so that he could stay home and be with me.
He is my angel and I love him more than anyone could ever fathom.
If you have read this entry, please leave a 'poor baby' comment so that I may feel better knowing that I am being pitied. Heehee.
LOVE!
-Kathy
This entry probably will not have a point or purpose except to give me something to do, because this is my 4th consecutive day locked in my apartment. I have this weird quickly rising and droping fever thing that just won't quit. One minute, 102...next minute, 98.6...one minute, freezing(brr)....next minute, sweating (PHEW!) It's been a pretty miserable last couple of days, but i've learned alot about fevers, given that i've had a plethora of time on my hands.
For example:
1) Fevers are a good thing. At least ones that are as low as mine. It means that my body is trying to fight something off before it can hurt me, like a virus or a bacteria. THANKS BODY!
2) You should not cover up when you have a fever but should instead wear cool clothes and only cover yourself in a sheet. I didn't know that before! It's really been the oddest sickness i've ever had.
We threw a St. Patricks day party at the local homeless shelter on Thursday. I went regardless of my feeling under the weather and it turned out to be WONDERFUL. We decorated and served green cake, icecream, cookies and even tea! It was great fun and we had ALOT more people then we anticipated which is always nice! We ran out of pretty much everything but no one seemed to mind. I had Newfoundland music playing in the background and two people started to do a jig! It reminded me so much of home. It was awesome. Praise God for his amazingness! I believe he was there doing a jig too!
I could not go to church today. That's not a good thing. Ya know how some mornings you wake up and you really don't want to go to church...well this morning I woke up and really wanted to go, but I feel pretty gross. Keep Kathy in your prayers!
What else is new...Mmmm, well COPS was a "Tazed and Confused" episode last night. Always a classic. Jay and I rented the movie "RAY." I always wonder how accurate biographical movies like that are. It was good. My dog ate a pen. I saw it this morning...outside...if ya know what I mean. HAHA!
Well since this is going nowhere fast I am going to go lie down. But in closing may I just say that my husband has done nothing but wait on me hand and foot. He has been taking SUCH good care of me. He's been up at all hours of the night with me and he has gone to the store to get me juce at ridiculous times. He has put many cold cloths on my head and thermometers in my mouth these past couple of days. He even cancelled going on a fishing trip so that he could stay home and be with me.
He is my angel and I love him more than anyone could ever fathom.
If you have read this entry, please leave a 'poor baby' comment so that I may feel better knowing that I am being pitied. Heehee.
LOVE!
-Kathy
Monday, March 14, 2005
Love Inclusively. That's what I'm talkin about!
Hey everyone if anyone reads this...(lately I'm not sure) but either way it's great therapy for me! If you have not read my previous entry, please do and let me know what you think. I'm in the middle of studying God's will and what it is. I need any insight, book recommendations, inspirational quotes, a smack up the side of the head, anything that may aid the situation.
I wanted to give any SAMS people who read this and update as to what's going on in the Tallahassee Corps. OH MY GOSH! God is moving like a mighty force throughout this crazy town. Well, first of all, we love it here. We love the town, we love our new friends, we love that its 30 degrees (Celsius) in March...We love Tallahassee. But above and beyond that, we love that God has chosen us to be apart of his re-facing the army here in this town. On our first Sunday here, there were about 10 adults in the congregation and about 20 children. What a beautiful sea of children the army has here. They are AMAZING kids too. So warm and welcoming. They'd rather minister in a nursing home then go to the movies...But I'm getting side tracked by their coolness. Yesterday we had a little over 60 people in church! AH! God is just blessing this corps like crazy and the best part is, people are coming here from literally ALL walks of life. We have a large group of professional business people, we have homeless from the Shelter and the new HOPE community center, we have young families and some elderly. IT"S CRAZY! And we are all worshipping our God together. It's almost becoming this surreal utopia worship center where all people gather together. Now don't get me wrong, change always brings a little growing pains, but this past Sunday was an overwhelming experience for me because people seemed to leave their skepticism and their discomforts and their uncertainties at the door and we all just came together in His name. We had people here who had not been here in several months, and 10-12 who were here for the very first time. One was a family of 8 who are the most precious people you could ever imagine. It's been insane! It's been such a blessing for Jason and I to #1) invite people to church #2) have them show up and #3) Get paid to do it. Sometimes I feel guilty, but I know I should just feel blessed because having the time and ability to create these relationships is what God is blessing and the corps IS growing. PRAISE GOD! Our Tuesday night youth programs are growing too. I ask that you pray for the new members of our corps, that we may effectively meet their needs and fulfill the mission of the Southern Territory, "Salvationists of the Southern Territory USA are answering God's call to make radical followers of Jesus Christ who love inclusively, serve helpfully and disciple effectively in the communities where they live." I think I may have mixed up the order of the verbs but you know what I mean!
Yesterday after our amazing day in church, we had a potluck with all of the people, eating together and getting to know each other. Then Jason and I went to the beach with our dog and we took pictures of alligators. There's a sentence I thought I'd never say! Hey if you read this, leave me a comment to boost my self esteem. I determine my self-worth by my blogspot comments...Sniff sniff...
Ok, Ok maybe not but I'd love to know who reads this. Take care!
I wanted to give any SAMS people who read this and update as to what's going on in the Tallahassee Corps. OH MY GOSH! God is moving like a mighty force throughout this crazy town. Well, first of all, we love it here. We love the town, we love our new friends, we love that its 30 degrees (Celsius) in March...We love Tallahassee. But above and beyond that, we love that God has chosen us to be apart of his re-facing the army here in this town. On our first Sunday here, there were about 10 adults in the congregation and about 20 children. What a beautiful sea of children the army has here. They are AMAZING kids too. So warm and welcoming. They'd rather minister in a nursing home then go to the movies...But I'm getting side tracked by their coolness. Yesterday we had a little over 60 people in church! AH! God is just blessing this corps like crazy and the best part is, people are coming here from literally ALL walks of life. We have a large group of professional business people, we have homeless from the Shelter and the new HOPE community center, we have young families and some elderly. IT"S CRAZY! And we are all worshipping our God together. It's almost becoming this surreal utopia worship center where all people gather together. Now don't get me wrong, change always brings a little growing pains, but this past Sunday was an overwhelming experience for me because people seemed to leave their skepticism and their discomforts and their uncertainties at the door and we all just came together in His name. We had people here who had not been here in several months, and 10-12 who were here for the very first time. One was a family of 8 who are the most precious people you could ever imagine. It's been insane! It's been such a blessing for Jason and I to #1) invite people to church #2) have them show up and #3) Get paid to do it. Sometimes I feel guilty, but I know I should just feel blessed because having the time and ability to create these relationships is what God is blessing and the corps IS growing. PRAISE GOD! Our Tuesday night youth programs are growing too. I ask that you pray for the new members of our corps, that we may effectively meet their needs and fulfill the mission of the Southern Territory, "Salvationists of the Southern Territory USA are answering God's call to make radical followers of Jesus Christ who love inclusively, serve helpfully and disciple effectively in the communities where they live." I think I may have mixed up the order of the verbs but you know what I mean!
Yesterday after our amazing day in church, we had a potluck with all of the people, eating together and getting to know each other. Then Jason and I went to the beach with our dog and we took pictures of alligators. There's a sentence I thought I'd never say! Hey if you read this, leave me a comment to boost my self esteem. I determine my self-worth by my blogspot comments...Sniff sniff...
Ok, Ok maybe not but I'd love to know who reads this. Take care!
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
I need guidance...
Hi friends. Today's entry is a desperate cry for spiritual knowledge. I am finding myself completely perplexed as to ...Drum roll please......GOD'S WILL. What exactly is it? I know that God has called us to many things and scripture is filled with answers and direction as to what God wants us to do, but I want to know what God wants me to be. Specifically. So here's where I'm at: I love God, with all my heart. I would live a life of pure torture if he asked me to. If I knew that God wanted me to do something, regardless of my feelings, I would do it. I can truly say that I would. The issue is not my dedication or my willingness to obey and follow, but instead it is my lack of clarity and my second guessing everything. "Is that God, or is it me?," "Is this just how I am feeling today, or is it God trying to tell me something?" AH!
So here's my question(s):
-Does God call us to be specific things (ie: Doctors, Lawyers, business owners, Salvation Army Officers) or does he give us likes and dislikes, passions and talents to guide our way to what he wants us to be?
-If God's will is occupation specific, how in the world do you determine between God's will and our feelings?
- If God's will is occupationally and situationally specific, how does our free will come into play?
Okay. That's pretty much it for the questions. Please, anybody, leave your input and suggestions.
Life is great. We're nestling well into this city. There was a huge storm and Tornado warning last night which scared my newfie pants off but today it is sunny and beautiful again. Similar to life I suppose.
I've been studying Genesis lately in detail because I am trying to teach my pre-teen bible class the old testament in chronological order. I've found I almost learn more as a teacher then I do as a student. I've been studying Genesis for my Sunday scholar's and Deuteronomy for myself. Those silly Israelites.
Due to the SAMS ministry and God's spirit moving through it, we are going to have 20 people here this coming Sunday who had not even heard of The 'church' side of the Army two months ago. God is working amazing miracles through my husband who, everyday astounds me with his depth and his love for people. We have a family of 8 coming to our church this Sunday for the first time.
Pray for Tallahassee. God is moving, fast and furious.
So here's my question(s):
-Does God call us to be specific things (ie: Doctors, Lawyers, business owners, Salvation Army Officers) or does he give us likes and dislikes, passions and talents to guide our way to what he wants us to be?
-If God's will is occupation specific, how in the world do you determine between God's will and our feelings?
- If God's will is occupationally and situationally specific, how does our free will come into play?
Okay. That's pretty much it for the questions. Please, anybody, leave your input and suggestions.
Life is great. We're nestling well into this city. There was a huge storm and Tornado warning last night which scared my newfie pants off but today it is sunny and beautiful again. Similar to life I suppose.
I've been studying Genesis lately in detail because I am trying to teach my pre-teen bible class the old testament in chronological order. I've found I almost learn more as a teacher then I do as a student. I've been studying Genesis for my Sunday scholar's and Deuteronomy for myself. Those silly Israelites.
Due to the SAMS ministry and God's spirit moving through it, we are going to have 20 people here this coming Sunday who had not even heard of The 'church' side of the Army two months ago. God is working amazing miracles through my husband who, everyday astounds me with his depth and his love for people. We have a family of 8 coming to our church this Sunday for the first time.
Pray for Tallahassee. God is moving, fast and furious.
Thursday, March 03, 2005
I can't wait to give God a hug!
Lately I've found myself fantisizing about heaven. Not to worried, I am quite content being alive, but I've just been trying to fathom the coolness of heaven. I've found myself praying and thinking, 'when I get to heaven i am not going to ask God all of the burning questions that my mortal head can't wrap around, instead I simply want to fall on my face, worship and i really, really want a God hug.' How awesome would a hug from the Father be? My eyes tear up just thinking about such an amazing embrace and the mere thought of it overwhelms me! So I can't even think about meeting with the saints, the streets of gold, mansions in glory and endless delight, because if I did i wouldn't be able to function in my day to day tasks. Instead, I will think about my God hug, because everytime I do, everything around me becomes beautiful and I feel at peace.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)