After 6 wonderful years of bligityblogging, I am moving over to www.kathystock.com
If you're looking for information on my music, public speaking or just want to catch the same heart felt stories, ramblings and writings you've experienced here, you can catch all at my new home.
Thank you for reading my stuff and I look forward to seeing you at www.kathystock.com
Monday, July 26, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
The Prophet
My husband, Jason is a fitness director at a local gym. He runs the personal training department, does a little training himself and focuses mainly on selling personal training packages. He loves helping, training, teaching, motivating and education people in the areas of health and wellness. He finds great joy in bringing life saving tools to the morbidly obese and unhealthy people he sees on a regular basis but he hates the fact that money stops so many from taking advantage of the services they so desperately need. Every day he says, "I love what I do...I just wish I could do it for free."
One of the trainers he works with is a young woman with a heart for God and a masters in Theology. They have random conversations about faith and belief in the bible. One day, during one of these conversations, she mentioned that her father was a prophet.
Jay was very intrigued by this and was eager to tell me all about it. That Saturday, this woman's father called Jason and asked if he could come and visit us. I was a bit nervous but I do believe in prophetic gifts...I also believe that there are a lot of crazies who come in the name of the lord so I was rightfully guarded.
Ten minutes later, he arrived. He was probably in his 60's and he had a blue tooth in one of his ears.
He came in and sat down. He asked us questions about ourselves...I mentioned that I had written a book and he asked to see it. When I gave it to him he said, "Do you mind if I take a moment to read this?" and he proceeded to 'speed read' the entire book in front of us in about 2 minutes. He said he had trained for 6 weeks to be a speed reader and he had mastered the art. I wasn't convinced he wasn't a kook at this point.
He then told us about himself. How he is from California, he's a double doctorate in theology, he was raised in the Catholic church and could speak five languages. He was definitely one of the most interesting people I have ever met. He then spoke about us as if he knew us. He wasn't ultra specific but what he did say was very applicable.
He told us that whatever God has put in us to do with our lives, He meant for us to do it together...that we were to work with one another....that God has given Jason a help mate in me and that He had given me a protector and provider in Jason. It was true. We've always had a strong desire to do ministry with one another. We play directly off of each other's strengths and weaknesses...he wasn't saying anything shocking or surprising...the only thing shocking was that he knew it.
He stayed with us for two hours and convinced me that although he may be a bit more...how shall we say...'free spirited' than I am, he was definitely a biblical Christian who knew God's word upside down and backwards and believed it passionately to be true.
He asked if he could pray for us individually. Jay accepted. I declined. Trust issues...read my previous post to catch up on that ;)....but he graciously understood my concern and assured me his feelings weren't hurt or offended. He invited us to his church which meets at 6pm on Sunday evenings and we decided to go this past Sunday.
He encouraged us to bring the children however I didn't feel comfortable bringing them into an unknown spiritual environment without knowing it was 'safe' myself. One off the wall, un-orderly Christian experience would probably scar Caden for life.
We showed up and instead of a church building, it was more like an office. We walked in and there were about 15 people there, smiling and greeting us....we were evidently the first new comers they had encountered in a long time...if, ever.
I was really nervous when I saw this...wondering when the snakes were going to come out...
They began to sing...an older woman played the guitar and they sang song after song...mostly southern gospel choruses that brought back memories of my parents Gaither videos....(shutter)....just kidding, Dad ;)
They prayed in tongues and lifted their hands...there was no 'order of service', worship leader or regimented schedule...just a freeing gathering of people who love God and who seemingly loved each other.
It was actually really nice.
It was a pretty calm evening...everyone spoke calmly and gently...several people stood and spoke prophetically...there was a common theme to the prophesies...how God who was faithful to begin a good work would be faithful to complete it...that courage was needed to walk down the path He has pre-destined for us...it was all about embracing His direction with boldness...
Afterward, everyone swarmed us and made us feel really welcome. They assured us there were no snakes hiding in the back and amidst their laughter, I felt much better. They invited us to come back and bring the babies and we may just do that.
So, all in all, our experience with 'the prophet' was an interesting and enlightening one. Just goes to show, you can't judge a book by it's cover...unless of course, you're a prophet ;)
One of the trainers he works with is a young woman with a heart for God and a masters in Theology. They have random conversations about faith and belief in the bible. One day, during one of these conversations, she mentioned that her father was a prophet.
Jay was very intrigued by this and was eager to tell me all about it. That Saturday, this woman's father called Jason and asked if he could come and visit us. I was a bit nervous but I do believe in prophetic gifts...I also believe that there are a lot of crazies who come in the name of the lord so I was rightfully guarded.
Ten minutes later, he arrived. He was probably in his 60's and he had a blue tooth in one of his ears.
He came in and sat down. He asked us questions about ourselves...I mentioned that I had written a book and he asked to see it. When I gave it to him he said, "Do you mind if I take a moment to read this?" and he proceeded to 'speed read' the entire book in front of us in about 2 minutes. He said he had trained for 6 weeks to be a speed reader and he had mastered the art. I wasn't convinced he wasn't a kook at this point.
He then told us about himself. How he is from California, he's a double doctorate in theology, he was raised in the Catholic church and could speak five languages. He was definitely one of the most interesting people I have ever met. He then spoke about us as if he knew us. He wasn't ultra specific but what he did say was very applicable.
He told us that whatever God has put in us to do with our lives, He meant for us to do it together...that we were to work with one another....that God has given Jason a help mate in me and that He had given me a protector and provider in Jason. It was true. We've always had a strong desire to do ministry with one another. We play directly off of each other's strengths and weaknesses...he wasn't saying anything shocking or surprising...the only thing shocking was that he knew it.
He stayed with us for two hours and convinced me that although he may be a bit more...how shall we say...'free spirited' than I am, he was definitely a biblical Christian who knew God's word upside down and backwards and believed it passionately to be true.
He asked if he could pray for us individually. Jay accepted. I declined. Trust issues...read my previous post to catch up on that ;)....but he graciously understood my concern and assured me his feelings weren't hurt or offended. He invited us to his church which meets at 6pm on Sunday evenings and we decided to go this past Sunday.
He encouraged us to bring the children however I didn't feel comfortable bringing them into an unknown spiritual environment without knowing it was 'safe' myself. One off the wall, un-orderly Christian experience would probably scar Caden for life.
We showed up and instead of a church building, it was more like an office. We walked in and there were about 15 people there, smiling and greeting us....we were evidently the first new comers they had encountered in a long time...if, ever.
I was really nervous when I saw this...wondering when the snakes were going to come out...
They began to sing...an older woman played the guitar and they sang song after song...mostly southern gospel choruses that brought back memories of my parents Gaither videos....(shutter)....just kidding, Dad ;)
They prayed in tongues and lifted their hands...there was no 'order of service', worship leader or regimented schedule...just a freeing gathering of people who love God and who seemingly loved each other.
It was actually really nice.
It was a pretty calm evening...everyone spoke calmly and gently...several people stood and spoke prophetically...there was a common theme to the prophesies...how God who was faithful to begin a good work would be faithful to complete it...that courage was needed to walk down the path He has pre-destined for us...it was all about embracing His direction with boldness...
Afterward, everyone swarmed us and made us feel really welcome. They assured us there were no snakes hiding in the back and amidst their laughter, I felt much better. They invited us to come back and bring the babies and we may just do that.
So, all in all, our experience with 'the prophet' was an interesting and enlightening one. Just goes to show, you can't judge a book by it's cover...unless of course, you're a prophet ;)
Friday, July 02, 2010
Trust
I don't trust people. I don't say that to sound jaded or cynical...I'm not bitter or overcome with resentment and unforgiveness...I just don't trust people because, well, their not Jesus. I've learned that Jesus is the only one who can be trusted not to hurt me and He is the only one who can be trusted to define me and since scripture doesn't tell us that we need to trust everyone, or even anyone but God, I simply don't.
Now, I trust my husband to be faithful to me and to be the man he has promised he would be when he married me. He has spent our entire relationship proving himself trustworthy and providing for my every need, physical and emotional. But, at the end of the day, he is a human being and there have been moments when we've let each other down, but I trust him to stand by me no matter what so I am able to be vulnerable with him.
I trust my parents to always be there for me, no matter how old I am or what I've done/do, I can trust in their love and support.I trust in it even more so now that I know what it means to be a parent. I hope my children can always trust the same of me.
Outside of these relationships, I find it very difficult to trust people...particularly women. I have some of the most amazing female friends on the planet, yet there is a part of me that is closed off from deepening those relationships because...well...I don't trust people.
I've realized this about myself over the last few years but more so recently when I began taking an active role in a women's ministry at my church. I felt this strong desire to see women in real, authentic, healthy relationships with one another where they could feel safe and be honest...I'm starting to realize, I need to work on this very thing!
In college (or University as it's known to the folks north of the border), I was one of the guys. I organized nacho night at don Cherry's Sports Bar, I watched WWE religiously and wrestled with my guy friends...and I mean wrestled...seriously, Cliff Perry showed me no mercy :)...my guy friends were some of the deepest and real that I had for a long time and they were straight up legit. I didn't play games to get their attention and they didn't have ulterior motives with me. We were just friends and it was awesome.
But when you get married and have babies, it's no longer appropriate to be one of the guys...then you kind of come across as a hussy...and that's certainly not the persona I want to run with. I'll be honest, it was difficult for me to navigate the realm of female friendships. I only had two or three female friends that I felt truly connected with and none of us lived near each other. Luckily, I have been introduced to and have become connected with some AMAZING women over the last couple of years. Fun women with hearts for God and good heads on their shoulders...women who are a lot like me...and it's been a huge blessing to have that kind of support system in a city so far from home.
This brings me back to my trust problem...I'm working on deepening and strengthening these relationships in my life by being a good listener and a real friend...but the area I have to work on the most is opening myself up to trust people who have already proven themselves trustworthy. I can't judge future and present relationships by past relationships that hurt my heart. It's not fair to the people God has given me to share life with and it's not fair to myself.
I was talking to my dear friend, Kris Spell this morning about this very thing and I mentioned how I think I might just be cautious and how that's a smart way to be...she then put me in my place by saying, "Cautious is one thing...closed is another." Tu Chez.
I don't want to be closed off to becoming a better person through the people around me...and if anyone is reading this with the same issue and desire to change it, (and you live in Tallahassee), get involved with For Women Only at genesischurch.tv and we'll figure this thing out together.
"It is better to be in chains with friends , than to be in a garden with strangers."
-Persian Proverb
Now, I trust my husband to be faithful to me and to be the man he has promised he would be when he married me. He has spent our entire relationship proving himself trustworthy and providing for my every need, physical and emotional. But, at the end of the day, he is a human being and there have been moments when we've let each other down, but I trust him to stand by me no matter what so I am able to be vulnerable with him.
I trust my parents to always be there for me, no matter how old I am or what I've done/do, I can trust in their love and support.I trust in it even more so now that I know what it means to be a parent. I hope my children can always trust the same of me.
Outside of these relationships, I find it very difficult to trust people...particularly women. I have some of the most amazing female friends on the planet, yet there is a part of me that is closed off from deepening those relationships because...well...I don't trust people.
I've realized this about myself over the last few years but more so recently when I began taking an active role in a women's ministry at my church. I felt this strong desire to see women in real, authentic, healthy relationships with one another where they could feel safe and be honest...I'm starting to realize, I need to work on this very thing!
In college (or University as it's known to the folks north of the border), I was one of the guys. I organized nacho night at don Cherry's Sports Bar, I watched WWE religiously and wrestled with my guy friends...and I mean wrestled...seriously, Cliff Perry showed me no mercy :)...my guy friends were some of the deepest and real that I had for a long time and they were straight up legit. I didn't play games to get their attention and they didn't have ulterior motives with me. We were just friends and it was awesome.
But when you get married and have babies, it's no longer appropriate to be one of the guys...then you kind of come across as a hussy...and that's certainly not the persona I want to run with. I'll be honest, it was difficult for me to navigate the realm of female friendships. I only had two or three female friends that I felt truly connected with and none of us lived near each other. Luckily, I have been introduced to and have become connected with some AMAZING women over the last couple of years. Fun women with hearts for God and good heads on their shoulders...women who are a lot like me...and it's been a huge blessing to have that kind of support system in a city so far from home.
This brings me back to my trust problem...I'm working on deepening and strengthening these relationships in my life by being a good listener and a real friend...but the area I have to work on the most is opening myself up to trust people who have already proven themselves trustworthy. I can't judge future and present relationships by past relationships that hurt my heart. It's not fair to the people God has given me to share life with and it's not fair to myself.
I was talking to my dear friend, Kris Spell this morning about this very thing and I mentioned how I think I might just be cautious and how that's a smart way to be...she then put me in my place by saying, "Cautious is one thing...closed is another." Tu Chez.
I don't want to be closed off to becoming a better person through the people around me...and if anyone is reading this with the same issue and desire to change it, (and you live in Tallahassee), get involved with For Women Only at genesischurch.tv and we'll figure this thing out together.
"It is better to be in chains with friends , than to be in a garden with strangers."
-Persian Proverb
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Caden and the Mullet Toss
Caden took part in the St. George Island Annual Mullet Toss. Here are his skillz.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Happy Father's Day
Everyone in my family knows that I am (and ridicules me for being) terrible with mailing cards on time, if at all, for special occasions. Luckily, my mother was here on Mother's Day so she got her present a day early but alas, this Father's day, both my father and father-in-laws cards are still nestled in the diaper bag pocket, yet to make it to the post office.
I know. I'm awful.
Lucky for me, there's modern technology and I will use it to send my gratitude and love to the men in our lives.
We were just able to spend a lovely week at the beach with Jay's step-dad...AKA: Grandpa. Grandpa is fun and caring...he is also a baby whisperer. He has this incredible ability to calm any baby in any situation. He has been an amazing father to Jason, a wonderful father-in-law to me and a lovely grandpa to the kiddos. Thanks for everything you are and everything you do. Your card will be there, someday. It's more fun that way, because it'll be a lovely surprise. ;)
I haven't seen my dad in about a year and it may be another year before I see him again. That's tough for me, because he's a pretty awesome guy to be around. My dad is a scholar of life, who studies daily with the intensity of a masters student during finals, but he does it purely for the enjoyment of self enrichment. He is a brilliant, deep soul who tells the driest jokes you've ever heard and puts ketchup on everything. Seriously, everything.
My dad has been an example of forgiveness and transformation in my life. I remember little about my father before he accepted Christ but I know that he became a radically different man and it's because of his decision to follow Jesus that I am the woman I am now. I hope that I can be the example of discipleship to my children the way he has been to me. Waking early to meditate on the words of a worn out bible, duct taped together and falling apart from overuse. Always asking forgiveness when necessary. Pouring scripture into our ears to the point of nauseam. I'm better because of you. Thanks for being my dad. It is through your example that I was able to find and marry a man who is an incredible husband and father...I knew what to look for based on your example.
Your card will be an even greater surprise because it will arrive about two weeks after it's mailed, given your geographical distance...but oh, what a glorious day at the post office that will be :)
Happy Father's Day!
I know. I'm awful.
Lucky for me, there's modern technology and I will use it to send my gratitude and love to the men in our lives.
We were just able to spend a lovely week at the beach with Jay's step-dad...AKA: Grandpa. Grandpa is fun and caring...he is also a baby whisperer. He has this incredible ability to calm any baby in any situation. He has been an amazing father to Jason, a wonderful father-in-law to me and a lovely grandpa to the kiddos. Thanks for everything you are and everything you do. Your card will be there, someday. It's more fun that way, because it'll be a lovely surprise. ;)
I haven't seen my dad in about a year and it may be another year before I see him again. That's tough for me, because he's a pretty awesome guy to be around. My dad is a scholar of life, who studies daily with the intensity of a masters student during finals, but he does it purely for the enjoyment of self enrichment. He is a brilliant, deep soul who tells the driest jokes you've ever heard and puts ketchup on everything. Seriously, everything.
My dad has been an example of forgiveness and transformation in my life. I remember little about my father before he accepted Christ but I know that he became a radically different man and it's because of his decision to follow Jesus that I am the woman I am now. I hope that I can be the example of discipleship to my children the way he has been to me. Waking early to meditate on the words of a worn out bible, duct taped together and falling apart from overuse. Always asking forgiveness when necessary. Pouring scripture into our ears to the point of nauseam. I'm better because of you. Thanks for being my dad. It is through your example that I was able to find and marry a man who is an incredible husband and father...I knew what to look for based on your example.
Your card will be an even greater surprise because it will arrive about two weeks after it's mailed, given your geographical distance...but oh, what a glorious day at the post office that will be :)
Happy Father's Day!
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Don't Leave
I know I have done a very poor job of maintaining this blog lately…it’s midnight right now and although I should be sleeping, I am writing because it’s the only chance I’ve had to do so in a while. I miss it.
I’ve been in the midst of raising two boys (one of which is a newborn baby), promoting a book, selling a house (we’re getting closer and closer each day but the paperwork has been INSANE), obtaining greencard status for Jay in Canada (which also requires an insane amount of time consuming paperwork), helping to create a women’s ministry and sustain my prayer life, home, relationships and sanity in the process.
I’m not complaining…promise. Just justifying my online absence has of late…and begging you to stick around…keep checking in. I promise, my writing will become more interesting and consistent when I figure out how to add the blogging plate the the rest of the ones I’m spinning.
I love to write and am excited about what’s happening with the book and what’s to come when I have more time to focus on arranging speaking engagements and marketing…but for right now, I am spending the summer enjoying Caden before he starts school, getting to know Preston as he grows and changes at an insanely fast pace and enjoying the blessings around me.
In the mean time, like i said, please, don’t leave.
I’ve been in the midst of raising two boys (one of which is a newborn baby), promoting a book, selling a house (we’re getting closer and closer each day but the paperwork has been INSANE), obtaining greencard status for Jay in Canada (which also requires an insane amount of time consuming paperwork), helping to create a women’s ministry and sustain my prayer life, home, relationships and sanity in the process.
I’m not complaining…promise. Just justifying my online absence has of late…and begging you to stick around…keep checking in. I promise, my writing will become more interesting and consistent when I figure out how to add the blogging plate the the rest of the ones I’m spinning.
I love to write and am excited about what’s happening with the book and what’s to come when I have more time to focus on arranging speaking engagements and marketing…but for right now, I am spending the summer enjoying Caden before he starts school, getting to know Preston as he grows and changes at an insanely fast pace and enjoying the blessings around me.
In the mean time, like i said, please, don’t leave.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Sour Milk
That's what I smell like most of the time. But hey, that's what I signed up for...and I'd do it again in a heartbeat. I very much enjoy being a mother of two...I think it suits me...once Caden became super independent and my book was written/submitted, I became a bit bored. I worked a little over the winter at the Episcopal church but when that ended, I found my pregnant-self often bored, complacent and lonely with not much to do but swell.
Having a baby forces you out of complacency...and having a 4 year old, vying for your attention while you're watching the baby, adds to the chaos...and I like it. I like being needed...I like having boys to pour into and take care of. I like knowing that my job is important and making a difference in at least 2-3 lives, each day.
It isn't all that glamourous and certainly not considered labor intensive by many of the world's standards...but I know at the end of the day that I've put in some serious time and that I love my job.
Preston is sleeping 10 hours straight at night...not kidding...the boy is 6 weeks old and gets a better night sleep than the rest of us. He is healthy, happy and strong.
Caden is a handfull and a half but when he's not in time out for hurting the cat, he's making me laugh and helping me around the house.
Life is good...all around...there are stresses, points of anxiety, areas of grey...but for the most part, I couldn't imagine being more blessed than I am now.
I am actively thinking about my next book. I'm going to start referring to myself as an 'author' and 'stay at home mom' instead of just the latter. I'll have a silent satisfaction as I list my occupations on future medical forms and the like...it's amazing to be in the midst of becoming something you've always wanted to be...it's exciting to see God's hand and plan at work...it's insane to think about how it all came about.
I'm happy, I'm blessed, I'm excited, I'm overwhelmed (in a good way) and I smell like sour milk.
NOTE: My book is available for ordering. Check out the side link to order now!
Having a baby forces you out of complacency...and having a 4 year old, vying for your attention while you're watching the baby, adds to the chaos...and I like it. I like being needed...I like having boys to pour into and take care of. I like knowing that my job is important and making a difference in at least 2-3 lives, each day.
It isn't all that glamourous and certainly not considered labor intensive by many of the world's standards...but I know at the end of the day that I've put in some serious time and that I love my job.
Preston is sleeping 10 hours straight at night...not kidding...the boy is 6 weeks old and gets a better night sleep than the rest of us. He is healthy, happy and strong.
Caden is a handfull and a half but when he's not in time out for hurting the cat, he's making me laugh and helping me around the house.
Life is good...all around...there are stresses, points of anxiety, areas of grey...but for the most part, I couldn't imagine being more blessed than I am now.
I am actively thinking about my next book. I'm going to start referring to myself as an 'author' and 'stay at home mom' instead of just the latter. I'll have a silent satisfaction as I list my occupations on future medical forms and the like...it's amazing to be in the midst of becoming something you've always wanted to be...it's exciting to see God's hand and plan at work...it's insane to think about how it all came about.
I'm happy, I'm blessed, I'm excited, I'm overwhelmed (in a good way) and I smell like sour milk.
NOTE: My book is available for ordering. Check out the side link to order now!
Friday, May 21, 2010
Life
Life doesn't leave much time for writing these days...something I miss during the craziness of being a mom of multiple children...but I figured I would take a few minutes while both boys are sleeping to let everyone know how things are going. They are going great.
Preston is an incredible little boy who weighs 10 lbs and 13 ozs already and sleeps really well at night. He has started smiling and cooing and making facial expressions and can hold his head better than any baby his age I have ever witnessed. I think he'll be walking and eating steak by 4 months :)
Caden has adjusted marvelously to life as a big brother. I couldn't be more proud of him. He started school, 3 afternoons a week and will transition into full-time preK in August. I can't believe he's going to real school this fall...it's a bit insane that time goes by so quickly.
I am feeling fantastic. No post-pardum whatsoever...I figure it's because I just don't have time to be sad :)
My first book was released in May and is available for pre-order now. I'll be posting more about ordering it in the near future, once someone teaches me how to set up a website, etc. This is all so brand new to me...and with a newborn, starting a business and promoting my first work is a bit of a daunting task...but it's one I take on humbly and graciously.
Jay transitioned into a new roll at his work place, taking over the management of the personal training and fitness side of things instead of managing the facility. He is LOVING it. It's such an amazing fit for him and it's revealing so much about what he loves to do and what God has gifted him to be. He's also kicking some serious tail with selling PT which is comforting for the pocket book :)
The best part is that he is no longer on call or expected to work weekends...and he works 8-12 and 4-8, Monday through Friday, with a chunk of time off in the afternoon to hang out with us. I couldn't be more thrilled.
...so life is busy, but better than I could ever ask for...and it stops for no one...so I must run and get the boys ready, bring Caden to school, feed Preston, run some errands...etc, etc, etc.
Stay tuned. I promise, I'm still here :)
Preston is an incredible little boy who weighs 10 lbs and 13 ozs already and sleeps really well at night. He has started smiling and cooing and making facial expressions and can hold his head better than any baby his age I have ever witnessed. I think he'll be walking and eating steak by 4 months :)
Caden has adjusted marvelously to life as a big brother. I couldn't be more proud of him. He started school, 3 afternoons a week and will transition into full-time preK in August. I can't believe he's going to real school this fall...it's a bit insane that time goes by so quickly.
I am feeling fantastic. No post-pardum whatsoever...I figure it's because I just don't have time to be sad :)
My first book was released in May and is available for pre-order now. I'll be posting more about ordering it in the near future, once someone teaches me how to set up a website, etc. This is all so brand new to me...and with a newborn, starting a business and promoting my first work is a bit of a daunting task...but it's one I take on humbly and graciously.
Jay transitioned into a new roll at his work place, taking over the management of the personal training and fitness side of things instead of managing the facility. He is LOVING it. It's such an amazing fit for him and it's revealing so much about what he loves to do and what God has gifted him to be. He's also kicking some serious tail with selling PT which is comforting for the pocket book :)
The best part is that he is no longer on call or expected to work weekends...and he works 8-12 and 4-8, Monday through Friday, with a chunk of time off in the afternoon to hang out with us. I couldn't be more thrilled.
...so life is busy, but better than I could ever ask for...and it stops for no one...so I must run and get the boys ready, bring Caden to school, feed Preston, run some errands...etc, etc, etc.
Stay tuned. I promise, I'm still here :)
Monday, May 17, 2010
Moms of Toddlers Devotions to Go
The time has come! My book is available for pre-order! Since this is my first rodeo, I gave everyone the website address for ordering the book when it's probably in my best interest to have everyone order it directly from me...and I can sign it then to, if requested :)
So, let me know via email if you'd like a copy of the book and I'll let you know how to purchase from there.
kathylynnstock@hotmail.com
Thanks!
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Mother's Day
Genesischurch.tv kindly asked me to speak at the Mother's Day service last Sunday. It was a humbling and awesome experience to have my first speaking gig be among the church family I love so dearly. It was a special day. My mom was there, Preston was dedicated and my book went on sale for the first time. God showed up, calmed my nerves and graciously spoke through me to reach others and I was so overwhelmingly blessed by the whole thing. It was an amazing day, filled with evidence of His presence. If you want to check it out, click here.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Freaked Out
So, last night was the first night Preston slept in his nursery. He went down at 11 and didn't wake again to eat until 3am! Since it was his first time sleeping more than arms length away, I had the baby monitor up nice and loud and woke up every hour, nervous that I may have missed something while sleeping. But at 3 am, he woke and I went to feed him.
After about 40 minutes of eating, he was ready to settle back down. I put him in his crib, swaddled him up, put the paci in his mouth and went back upstairs.
He was peaceful and quiet when I left but by the time I got upstairs, I could hear him grunting and groaning through the monitor. I got back in bed, hoping he would settle back down on his own. He did this forabout 30 minutes while I lay listening.
Suddenly, I heard a voice, faintly on the monitor reception. I immediately assumed I was picking up a cordless phone frequency and thought nothing of it, other than how annoying it was.
Preston got a little louder...still not crying but grunting a lot. Then I heard the voice say, "Shhhh, Shhhh, it's ok. You're with someone who loves you."
WHAT?! I shot up in bed and woke Jay, telling him what happened and made a mad dash downstairs. When I got to Preston's room, he was silently sleeping, all alone in his room (thank goodness!) and when i listened for the baby monitor again the grunting and calming voice was still happening.....long story short, my monitor was picking up a crystal clear signal from the baby monitor next door and that baby that had been fussing and keeping me awake wasn't even mine!!!
Relieved, I decided to sleep on the couch for the rest of the night and forgo the monitor...but it took me forever to get back to sleep because my adrenaline was through the roof from being so freaked out.
After about 40 minutes of eating, he was ready to settle back down. I put him in his crib, swaddled him up, put the paci in his mouth and went back upstairs.
He was peaceful and quiet when I left but by the time I got upstairs, I could hear him grunting and groaning through the monitor. I got back in bed, hoping he would settle back down on his own. He did this forabout 30 minutes while I lay listening.
Suddenly, I heard a voice, faintly on the monitor reception. I immediately assumed I was picking up a cordless phone frequency and thought nothing of it, other than how annoying it was.
Preston got a little louder...still not crying but grunting a lot. Then I heard the voice say, "Shhhh, Shhhh, it's ok. You're with someone who loves you."
WHAT?! I shot up in bed and woke Jay, telling him what happened and made a mad dash downstairs. When I got to Preston's room, he was silently sleeping, all alone in his room (thank goodness!) and when i listened for the baby monitor again the grunting and calming voice was still happening.....long story short, my monitor was picking up a crystal clear signal from the baby monitor next door and that baby that had been fussing and keeping me awake wasn't even mine!!!
Relieved, I decided to sleep on the couch for the rest of the night and forgo the monitor...but it took me forever to get back to sleep because my adrenaline was through the roof from being so freaked out.
Friday, April 23, 2010
He's Here
Preston James Stock
9 pounds, 1 oz, 21.5 inches long
Born April 18, 2010 at 4:56pm and he's perfect in every way.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
It's Not About You
I am really sad today about how people so easily throw in the towel on Christianity. My life is filled with individuals who at one point or another, passionately loved God but checked out as soon as things got boring, complicated or too difficult. For some reason, I've been burdened about this a lot this morning. I didn't sleep last night (because I'm too uncomfortable to) and I was looking forward to grabbing some rest this morning while Caden is at his friend's house but I can't shut my mind off. I can't stop thinking about God's heart and how it must break at the way His children view Him.
I think when people start thinking about God or even 'get saved' they fall into this false mentality that it's about them. That God was created for their happiness, pleasure and purposes when the opposite is true. God wasn't created for you. You were created for God...and by God.
This selfish type of Christianity is fueled by what we've made it. We use the words 'Personal Savior' when that doesn't appear anywhere in scripture. He's not your personal savior like your personal butler or your personal gardener who is ordered and directed to fit the needs of you and your household. He is God. He created the world and everything in it and He alone knows what everything and everyone is created for.
I'm realizing that salvation is very different than what most new Christians think that it is...and perhaps it is our fault for false advertising...but I think the misconception is what causes so many people to say 'yes' to God and then fizzle out quickly when it doesn't look or feel the way they thought it would.
I realize that there are plenty of happy people who don't love God. Being a Christian is not about the pursuit of happiness. Lots of things will make you happy...in fact, sometimes choosing God will make you uncomfortable, tense and persecuted. The promise of Christianity is not happiness and situational perfection...it is purpose.
Salvation is a choice that may or not feel good to make. So many people wait for a moment of heightened emotionalism in an appropriate church environment before accepting Christ and that moment becomes their 'Salvation moment'. We wait for that moment when it feels right...a movie-esque, emotional readiness...the problem is that when that 'feeling' fades away, so does the lifestyle. Salvation is recognizing that there is a God, believing that He came to earth as a human who took the blame for everything we have done, are doing or are going to do that separates us from who He is and then choosing to say, "You can have me, God...you have control over my stuff, my goals, my family, my future...You may or may not change the details of my life but if you do, it's OK with me because I trust you, love you and am so humbled by what you did for me that I am going to chose to live my life for you, regardless of what that means. Forgive me and make me better than I am. I'm excited about becoming the person you've created me to be."
This is not an easy choice. We live in a world driven by selfishness. We pursue money and status and anything that increases our pleasure and decreases our pain. That's why so many people choose not to live for God...why sell out to something when it doesn't guarantee that things will be great for me?
BECAUSE IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU.
And that's why it's a choice. You have every right to say, "No thanks, I'm good. I'm happy, I have success, money, friends, family and I love my life just the way it is." God has given you a thinking mind and the ability to chose Him or protect your assets. The bible explains that the end result of this kind of living is eternally separation from God = Hell. I, for one, am not terribly motivated by this. I don't chose God as a means of avoiding Hell. I honestly don't. It's not about where I end up...even though I know my soul is homesick for Heaven, my motivation to love God and raise my children to love him is not wrapped up in an intense fear of Hell. It's wrapped up in a love and trust for God as my Father. I can have everything this world has to offer but if He's not a part of it, it's useless and has no value. We get one life and one chance to be great...and since God's weakness is greater than my strongest moment, I want Him to be what I live for. Following God isn't about getting into Heaven, although it will be glorious to see Him face to face someday...it's about embracing what life is all about. Want to know what 'this' is all about? It's God! He made it, He orchestrated it, He formed it, He loves it and it's all for Him...and when we chose to say, "I believe there's a God but that's about as deep as it goes," we're missing out on the purpose of being alive...we are making God fit into our world instead of asking Him how we fit into His.
I know SO many people who once loved God but don't have time for Him anymore and I hate it. I hate what He has become in the lives of people who have tried other things and like them better. I hate how His heart must break at the rejection He receives from His own children...but I am realizing that it comes down to simply choosing...and a person can't be convinced to be a Christian based on false promises of a flawless future or scaring them into loving God by dangling Hell in front of their face. It's a choice that you make whether you feel it's the right moment or not. It's a daily choice to seek His face and do His work in the planet...to view your life differently than just to accumulate as much good as you can for yourself. It's about surrendering your right to have everything you want and accepting the fullness and purpose that comes from being everything He wants.
I'm probably rambling...I just really wish people saw God for who He is, not what He can do for them. There is nothing more fulfilling than knowing you walk through life with the Creator of it. There's nothing better by which to define yourself because your job can come and go...your assets can go up in smoke...your family and friends can disappoint you...your body will age and deteriorate...your children will grow up and have lives of their own...the only one who is unchanging and can define your worth and your purpose is God, the Father.
I hope more people start to see how incredible He is and make the choice to come home.
I think when people start thinking about God or even 'get saved' they fall into this false mentality that it's about them. That God was created for their happiness, pleasure and purposes when the opposite is true. God wasn't created for you. You were created for God...and by God.
This selfish type of Christianity is fueled by what we've made it. We use the words 'Personal Savior' when that doesn't appear anywhere in scripture. He's not your personal savior like your personal butler or your personal gardener who is ordered and directed to fit the needs of you and your household. He is God. He created the world and everything in it and He alone knows what everything and everyone is created for.
I'm realizing that salvation is very different than what most new Christians think that it is...and perhaps it is our fault for false advertising...but I think the misconception is what causes so many people to say 'yes' to God and then fizzle out quickly when it doesn't look or feel the way they thought it would.
I realize that there are plenty of happy people who don't love God. Being a Christian is not about the pursuit of happiness. Lots of things will make you happy...in fact, sometimes choosing God will make you uncomfortable, tense and persecuted. The promise of Christianity is not happiness and situational perfection...it is purpose.
Salvation is a choice that may or not feel good to make. So many people wait for a moment of heightened emotionalism in an appropriate church environment before accepting Christ and that moment becomes their 'Salvation moment'. We wait for that moment when it feels right...a movie-esque, emotional readiness...the problem is that when that 'feeling' fades away, so does the lifestyle. Salvation is recognizing that there is a God, believing that He came to earth as a human who took the blame for everything we have done, are doing or are going to do that separates us from who He is and then choosing to say, "You can have me, God...you have control over my stuff, my goals, my family, my future...You may or may not change the details of my life but if you do, it's OK with me because I trust you, love you and am so humbled by what you did for me that I am going to chose to live my life for you, regardless of what that means. Forgive me and make me better than I am. I'm excited about becoming the person you've created me to be."
This is not an easy choice. We live in a world driven by selfishness. We pursue money and status and anything that increases our pleasure and decreases our pain. That's why so many people choose not to live for God...why sell out to something when it doesn't guarantee that things will be great for me?
BECAUSE IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU.
And that's why it's a choice. You have every right to say, "No thanks, I'm good. I'm happy, I have success, money, friends, family and I love my life just the way it is." God has given you a thinking mind and the ability to chose Him or protect your assets. The bible explains that the end result of this kind of living is eternally separation from God = Hell. I, for one, am not terribly motivated by this. I don't chose God as a means of avoiding Hell. I honestly don't. It's not about where I end up...even though I know my soul is homesick for Heaven, my motivation to love God and raise my children to love him is not wrapped up in an intense fear of Hell. It's wrapped up in a love and trust for God as my Father. I can have everything this world has to offer but if He's not a part of it, it's useless and has no value. We get one life and one chance to be great...and since God's weakness is greater than my strongest moment, I want Him to be what I live for. Following God isn't about getting into Heaven, although it will be glorious to see Him face to face someday...it's about embracing what life is all about. Want to know what 'this' is all about? It's God! He made it, He orchestrated it, He formed it, He loves it and it's all for Him...and when we chose to say, "I believe there's a God but that's about as deep as it goes," we're missing out on the purpose of being alive...we are making God fit into our world instead of asking Him how we fit into His.
I know SO many people who once loved God but don't have time for Him anymore and I hate it. I hate what He has become in the lives of people who have tried other things and like them better. I hate how His heart must break at the rejection He receives from His own children...but I am realizing that it comes down to simply choosing...and a person can't be convinced to be a Christian based on false promises of a flawless future or scaring them into loving God by dangling Hell in front of their face. It's a choice that you make whether you feel it's the right moment or not. It's a daily choice to seek His face and do His work in the planet...to view your life differently than just to accumulate as much good as you can for yourself. It's about surrendering your right to have everything you want and accepting the fullness and purpose that comes from being everything He wants.
I'm probably rambling...I just really wish people saw God for who He is, not what He can do for them. There is nothing more fulfilling than knowing you walk through life with the Creator of it. There's nothing better by which to define yourself because your job can come and go...your assets can go up in smoke...your family and friends can disappoint you...your body will age and deteriorate...your children will grow up and have lives of their own...the only one who is unchanging and can define your worth and your purpose is God, the Father.
I hope more people start to see how incredible He is and make the choice to come home.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Wednesday, April 07, 2010
Figuring Things Out
I like figuring things out. I like blacks and whites, rights and wrongs, can's and can't's.
The older I get and the more experiences I have, the more I realize how life is not a formula and that more grey and uncertainty abounds than I care to admit. In many cases, there is more than one right way to do something...and often times, what is right doesn't necessarily feel good, comfortable or very right at all.
I've had a few conversations lately that have helped me recognize the power of my language and the limitations it and my ideas of who I am have placed on who I can be...more importantly, on what God can do through me.
As part of my obsession with having things neatly figured out, I like to have a firm grasp on what it is that I as a person can and can't do. There is safety in sticking with what you're good at and leaving the rest to someone else.
I've very narrowly defined myself by steering clear of what scares me and embracing the things that I find easiest or most comfortable...
I say I can't play sports, even though I have never really tried or received any training or tips to get better.
I say I can't drive a stick shift because at one time, I stalled out. Instead of pressing through and learning how to do it, I told myself it wasn't meant to be.
I love singing and playing the piano on my own but am intimidated about doing so with a band for fear of not being good enough.
I often say how much better I am at writing than physically speaking my thoughts and shy away from opportunities to express anything of depth verbally.
I put myself in a box and throw God's power in there with me...instead of stepping out in faith, truly believing that the same power that conquered the grave lives in me.
Now, I'm not saying that I can excel at everything if I just try hard enough. I don't believe that I can be whatever I want to be. That may sound morbid and hopeless, but it's true. I do however believe that I can be whatever God has called me to be and that His calling may not necessarily fall in line with my limited definition of who I am.
I've met people on the other end of the spectrum. I remember working with a man who had 0 natural musical ability but believed that it was his area of expertise. He had no rhythm and was completely tone deaf but when asked what he felt God had gifted him to do he proudly replied, "Music is my gift".
Sometimes we can be so blinded by what we want that we miss what we're suppose to have...we settle for being mediocre in the area of our choice instead of surrendering our right to choose and embracing greatness in the area God has for us.
I also use to be one of those people who believed that God called people to very specific paths, locations, occupations...that He created a path for us called "GOD'S WILL" and that we needed to seek Him with such sensitivity as to not miss a single step. I don't believe that anymore.
I have become convinced that God could manipulate me like a marionette if he wanted but that He choses not to...and I believe that regardless of whether I am 'here' or 'there', I can be everything that He has called me to be...and that obstacles or open doors that lead me from point A to point B are just part of this life thing...and life can't be figured out. It unfolds and develops and takes unexpected turns but He walks along side as an intimate guide...he doesn't drag from the front or shove from the back.
All of this to say, I am excited about my future and scared to death of it. I'm uncertain about everything except God's presence and I guess that's how it should be...it allows me to define myself by nothing and no one but the one who created me. I am going to start to chose my language and my attitude about my life and my abilities much more carefully so as not to sabotage myself or my potential.
God and I are coming out of the box.
The older I get and the more experiences I have, the more I realize how life is not a formula and that more grey and uncertainty abounds than I care to admit. In many cases, there is more than one right way to do something...and often times, what is right doesn't necessarily feel good, comfortable or very right at all.
I've had a few conversations lately that have helped me recognize the power of my language and the limitations it and my ideas of who I am have placed on who I can be...more importantly, on what God can do through me.
As part of my obsession with having things neatly figured out, I like to have a firm grasp on what it is that I as a person can and can't do. There is safety in sticking with what you're good at and leaving the rest to someone else.
I've very narrowly defined myself by steering clear of what scares me and embracing the things that I find easiest or most comfortable...
I say I can't play sports, even though I have never really tried or received any training or tips to get better.
I say I can't drive a stick shift because at one time, I stalled out. Instead of pressing through and learning how to do it, I told myself it wasn't meant to be.
I love singing and playing the piano on my own but am intimidated about doing so with a band for fear of not being good enough.
I often say how much better I am at writing than physically speaking my thoughts and shy away from opportunities to express anything of depth verbally.
I put myself in a box and throw God's power in there with me...instead of stepping out in faith, truly believing that the same power that conquered the grave lives in me.
Now, I'm not saying that I can excel at everything if I just try hard enough. I don't believe that I can be whatever I want to be. That may sound morbid and hopeless, but it's true. I do however believe that I can be whatever God has called me to be and that His calling may not necessarily fall in line with my limited definition of who I am.
I've met people on the other end of the spectrum. I remember working with a man who had 0 natural musical ability but believed that it was his area of expertise. He had no rhythm and was completely tone deaf but when asked what he felt God had gifted him to do he proudly replied, "Music is my gift".
Sometimes we can be so blinded by what we want that we miss what we're suppose to have...we settle for being mediocre in the area of our choice instead of surrendering our right to choose and embracing greatness in the area God has for us.
I also use to be one of those people who believed that God called people to very specific paths, locations, occupations...that He created a path for us called "GOD'S WILL" and that we needed to seek Him with such sensitivity as to not miss a single step. I don't believe that anymore.
I have become convinced that God could manipulate me like a marionette if he wanted but that He choses not to...and I believe that regardless of whether I am 'here' or 'there', I can be everything that He has called me to be...and that obstacles or open doors that lead me from point A to point B are just part of this life thing...and life can't be figured out. It unfolds and develops and takes unexpected turns but He walks along side as an intimate guide...he doesn't drag from the front or shove from the back.
All of this to say, I am excited about my future and scared to death of it. I'm uncertain about everything except God's presence and I guess that's how it should be...it allows me to define myself by nothing and no one but the one who created me. I am going to start to chose my language and my attitude about my life and my abilities much more carefully so as not to sabotage myself or my potential.
God and I are coming out of the box.
Friday, April 02, 2010
Good Friday
When I was 9, our church put together an Easter play. We practiced for weeks, my mom made costumes, we gathered props...I was so excited to be a part of it. My role? Middle curtain holder. That's right. We had assembled a hand held curtain which was a long piece of draping fabric, with three hockey sticks attached to it (how very Canadian, eh?) and three people walked the curtain out and blocked the public from seeing the scenery changes. I held the middle hockey stick...and I pretty much thought the production would not be able to happen without me. I took my job very seriously :)
The performance took place during the Good Friday service. When it was over, I went to the woman in charge and thanked her for letting me be a part of it. She laughed and said, "You're thanking me because you got to hold the curtain? Well, you're welcome!"
At the time, I couldn't figure out why she thought that was so funny, but I didn't think much about it.
After coming home, exhausted from my intense acting debut (sarcasm) I sat in my bedroom alone and thought about the production...and in the midst of my excitement and enthusiasm for having been a part of it, I began to cry. I specifically thought about the part of the production where the actors portrayed the scene of Jesus feeding the 5000...then I thought about what inevitably happened to him on the cross.
I remember that moment like it was yesterday...I was heart broken and guilt ridden about what Jesus went through, because he didn't deserve it. He was innocent. He was love.
I believe the story of feeding the 5000 stood out to me because it was a representation of how to do ministry God's way. That in the midst of the stress, demands, chaos and the hungry people waiting to be fed, Christ was nothing but patience and love. He physically showed us how to be his hands and feet AND attitude...he was perfection...the last person who deserved pain and rejection.
Every Good Friday since I was nine, I think about that...I know we aren't to live in a state of guilt and mourning...that doing so would negate the sacrifice that God so willingly made...but today, this day, is a day to remember in reverence the action that God took to show us the depth of his love for us. Today is a day to make the 'main thing' the main thing. It's a day to fall on our faces and say we're sorry and we're humbled and we graciously accept with unworthiness the sacrifice of love that this day represents. It's a day to stand in awe of who God is and what motivates Him to do what He does...His out-of-control love for you and me.
The performance took place during the Good Friday service. When it was over, I went to the woman in charge and thanked her for letting me be a part of it. She laughed and said, "You're thanking me because you got to hold the curtain? Well, you're welcome!"
At the time, I couldn't figure out why she thought that was so funny, but I didn't think much about it.
After coming home, exhausted from my intense acting debut (sarcasm) I sat in my bedroom alone and thought about the production...and in the midst of my excitement and enthusiasm for having been a part of it, I began to cry. I specifically thought about the part of the production where the actors portrayed the scene of Jesus feeding the 5000...then I thought about what inevitably happened to him on the cross.
I remember that moment like it was yesterday...I was heart broken and guilt ridden about what Jesus went through, because he didn't deserve it. He was innocent. He was love.
I believe the story of feeding the 5000 stood out to me because it was a representation of how to do ministry God's way. That in the midst of the stress, demands, chaos and the hungry people waiting to be fed, Christ was nothing but patience and love. He physically showed us how to be his hands and feet AND attitude...he was perfection...the last person who deserved pain and rejection.
Every Good Friday since I was nine, I think about that...I know we aren't to live in a state of guilt and mourning...that doing so would negate the sacrifice that God so willingly made...but today, this day, is a day to remember in reverence the action that God took to show us the depth of his love for us. Today is a day to make the 'main thing' the main thing. It's a day to fall on our faces and say we're sorry and we're humbled and we graciously accept with unworthiness the sacrifice of love that this day represents. It's a day to stand in awe of who God is and what motivates Him to do what He does...His out-of-control love for you and me.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
I'm Ready
Caden is ready for his little brother to meet him.
Daddy is ready to hold his second born son.
Mama is ready to see her newest little man and experience life with her entire family.
I sat in Preston's room today and prayed over his bed, for rest and protection. I prayed over his rocking chair, that the comfort, food and quality time he spends in it will bring him health, peace and happiness. I prayed that he be as perfect as humanity is capable of being...that he love God and be aware of Him his entire life...that he would be set apart...the same prayer I've been praying for his big brother, long before I ever saw his face.
Early in this pregnancy, there were moments when I mourned the loss of our family of three, where I worried about whether I could love another child the way I do Caden and I wondered how Caden would do with having a sibling around.
I was apprehensive about the changes down the road.
Now, I feel like we're not quite complete without Mr. Preston...we're all excited to see his face, to make memories with him, to hold him and know he's OK. What once felt like normal and comfortable, doesn't feel quite normal or right without him being here too.
So, anytime you're ready Preston, we're ready too. We love you already.
Daddy is ready to hold his second born son.
Mama is ready to see her newest little man and experience life with her entire family.
I sat in Preston's room today and prayed over his bed, for rest and protection. I prayed over his rocking chair, that the comfort, food and quality time he spends in it will bring him health, peace and happiness. I prayed that he be as perfect as humanity is capable of being...that he love God and be aware of Him his entire life...that he would be set apart...the same prayer I've been praying for his big brother, long before I ever saw his face.
Early in this pregnancy, there were moments when I mourned the loss of our family of three, where I worried about whether I could love another child the way I do Caden and I wondered how Caden would do with having a sibling around.
I was apprehensive about the changes down the road.
Now, I feel like we're not quite complete without Mr. Preston...we're all excited to see his face, to make memories with him, to hold him and know he's OK. What once felt like normal and comfortable, doesn't feel quite normal or right without him being here too.
So, anytime you're ready Preston, we're ready too. We love you already.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Friday, March 19, 2010
Pro-Life
I've been thinking about this term a lot today. I feel like I need to write about it and when that feeling arises, it's usually suppose to. I have no idea if this is meant for one person, one hundred or just for me to articulate my thoughts. Either way, here it goes.
I am pro-life. This doesn't just describe how I feel about abortion, as so many people apply the terminology, but I'll start there. I believe that life begins at the moment of conception. I believe that God has called us to protect young, fragile and innocent life, regardless of how inconvenient or ruthless it's coming about. I understand that this isn't a black and white subject...that the woman who utilizes abortion as a last resort form of 'birth control' and the young girl who was raped by a family member are in completely different situations when it comes to their position, their responsibility for conception and their emotional state. I hate that in a sinful, ugly world, women sometimes have their innocence stolen from them and that in the most heart breaking cases, a child is brought into a horrifying situation due to this injustice however, I have to stand and believe that this still doesn't give anyone of us the right to take a life. Could I ever look an abused, raped or incest victim in the face and judge her harshly? Never in my life. But I believe in God's ability to take that nightmare and transform it into a victory, a beautiful story of redemption and grace. I believe every child is capable of being a man or woman after God's own heart.
Being pregnant, I've often wondered what I would do if the doctor told me that my pregnancy was putting my life at risk. This is another area of grey when it comes to abortion. As a woman of faith, I believe in God's ability to overcome obstacles and perform miracles...I would find it difficult, near impossible, to terminate a pregnancy based on what a doctor said was imminent danger when God is so much bigger than medicine and disease but at the same time, I have been given a mind and heart to make decisions for the well-being of my family. I was watching a TLC special the other day about a woman who's rare type of pregnancy was killing her. After coming close to death, the pregnancy was terminated to save her life. I whispered a prayer for her. I can't imagine being in that position. This type of pregnancy termination is so situational...and so difficult...and so case specific. I honestly don't know what I would do. On one hand, I have a family that needs me...on the other, I could be carrying a miracle child who just needed time to prove the medical community wrong...I hope I never have to face a decision of that magnitude. I praise God that both my boys had/have been healthy pregnancies. I am burdened today for women who have faced tragedy within pregnancy. Such an event requires super-human strength to deal.
I have no rage, anger or hatred towards any woman who has made a decision to terminate a pregnancy. I believe that angry protests with disturbing imagery is not the way to tackle this problem in society. It just fuels the widely though public opinion that Christians are heartless and crazy. I instead mourn the loss of the innocent and pray whole heartedly that women who feel like they have no other option, would find another option and we will invest our money and resources into areas that help provide those alternate solutions (the local women's pregnancy center, adoption organizations, etc).
Those who have followed my political writings are aware that I wasn't the biggest George W. Bush fan in the world, but I have to publicly commend him on his stance and pro-activeness on the position of abortion. He made great strides in the ending of late term abortion, a ruthless practice and although I believe that politics is not souly in place to overturn Roe Vs. Wade, I hope someday it's illegal to kill unborn children in this country, the same as it is illegal to kill anyone else. So that's my pro-life stance when it comes to abortion.
I don't believe a person can rightfully call themselves 'pro-life' if they are for the death penalty. People who are against abortion but for the death penalty can rightfully call themselves 'anti-abortionists' but not 'pro-life'. Life is life. The life of the unborn and innocent and the life of the sinful man or woman. By saying we can decide which citizens are fit to live and die is far too much power for any judge or jury to have. This is an out-dated and barbaric establishment that needs to be thrown out. From a spiritual perspective, it negates a lot of what Jesus died for. Jesus came and lived a sinless life, taking on the sins of the world (the murderer, rapist, gossiper, adulterer etc.) and dying for them so that we wouldn't have to...so that in Him, we could be dramatically changed and healed of our transgressions, no matter how miniscule or gargantuan. It's amazing to me that an American court room would have put Saul to death before he had the opportunity to become Paul. Trust me, I don't say this lightly. If anyone sexually assaulted, purposefully injured or took the lives of my children, I would need God's strength and probably the restraint of several burly men to keep me from taking that person out with my bare hands. As humans, we are entitled to anger, redemption and justice. As Christians, we are called to be immeasurably more and to recognize what God can do to miraculously transform a monster into a disciple. We are called to lay down our right for revenge. God is the one who chooses who lives and who dies. Christians often take a stance on this when it comes to abortion and euthanasia, but not the death penalty. It's always blown me away that we're so passionate about saving one life but so eager to fry another. God can make a miracle of both the unwanted, inconvenient and undeserving.
Outside of the whole Jesus thing :), capital punishment has taken the lives of innocent people, killing them for crimes they did not commit. In Florida alone, a non-profit organization called the Innocence Project has proven the innocence of 7 people who were either sentenced to life in prison or the death penalty. I had the opportunity to meet one of these men who was awarded millions of dollars in 'we're sorry we took 25 years away from your life and almost killed you' money...no amount of money can buy back what he's lost in both time and emotional/ mental strain. Thank God he wasn't killed before his innocence was proven. Many have not been as lucky. Also, it costs 70% more for a person to be on death row than to complete a life sentence in a maximum security facility. Trends in death penalty cases also prove it to be racist, sexist and biased. Check out the stats and facts at Amnesty International's Web Page.
Jay and I often watch 'Lock Up'. On this show, they highlight different offenders and tell the back story of their lives. The majority have had hellish upbringings, abusive homes and overwhelming neglect. I don't condone law breaking or violent acts but after hearing where a lot of these people have come from and lived through, I wonder if I wouldn't be the same way had I not grown up in a loving, protective family. Being 'pro-life' means seeing the whole person and recognizing the sanctity of what God has made, not seeing the crime alone and declaring that person hopeless and worthless. Amazing Grace is for them too.
So I guess, to make a long story even longer, I am pro-life...meaning I believe in the sanctity of human life. I believe that God is bigger than anything we have done, could do or will do and that through Him we can surrender 'our rights' and do 'the right thing.' I recognize that it's easy for me to sit here and write about this topic and sound self-righteous. I am not. Trust me. I have an overwhelming amount of empathy for women who find themselves with an unwanted pregnancy...and I could never look a woman in the face, whose husband has been murdered by a ruthless, unapologetic killer and condescendingly say, "You just need to love the criminal the way that Christ loves the church." I know that this is a near impossible feat, that outside of Christ it doesn't make sense and that if it were me, I would probably struggle my entire life to get through the hate but I know what I believe God has called us to do, as men and women after His own heart. His greatest commandment was not for us to end abortion or maintain the man-made rituals of the church or take a pro-active stance against homosexuality...it is to love. Love. With no limits and no restrictions. It's easy to love the cute, kind and deserving. He has called us to love every one.
I hope and pray that this resonated with somebody who is needing and ready to lay down their right of being exhaustingly angry, cripplingly self-centered and painfully confused and take on new found eyes and thankfulness for the sanctity of human life, without harsh judgement towards those who may see things a different way.
If you made it to the end of this, thanks for reading.
"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:13-14.
I am pro-life. This doesn't just describe how I feel about abortion, as so many people apply the terminology, but I'll start there. I believe that life begins at the moment of conception. I believe that God has called us to protect young, fragile and innocent life, regardless of how inconvenient or ruthless it's coming about. I understand that this isn't a black and white subject...that the woman who utilizes abortion as a last resort form of 'birth control' and the young girl who was raped by a family member are in completely different situations when it comes to their position, their responsibility for conception and their emotional state. I hate that in a sinful, ugly world, women sometimes have their innocence stolen from them and that in the most heart breaking cases, a child is brought into a horrifying situation due to this injustice however, I have to stand and believe that this still doesn't give anyone of us the right to take a life. Could I ever look an abused, raped or incest victim in the face and judge her harshly? Never in my life. But I believe in God's ability to take that nightmare and transform it into a victory, a beautiful story of redemption and grace. I believe every child is capable of being a man or woman after God's own heart.
Being pregnant, I've often wondered what I would do if the doctor told me that my pregnancy was putting my life at risk. This is another area of grey when it comes to abortion. As a woman of faith, I believe in God's ability to overcome obstacles and perform miracles...I would find it difficult, near impossible, to terminate a pregnancy based on what a doctor said was imminent danger when God is so much bigger than medicine and disease but at the same time, I have been given a mind and heart to make decisions for the well-being of my family. I was watching a TLC special the other day about a woman who's rare type of pregnancy was killing her. After coming close to death, the pregnancy was terminated to save her life. I whispered a prayer for her. I can't imagine being in that position. This type of pregnancy termination is so situational...and so difficult...and so case specific. I honestly don't know what I would do. On one hand, I have a family that needs me...on the other, I could be carrying a miracle child who just needed time to prove the medical community wrong...I hope I never have to face a decision of that magnitude. I praise God that both my boys had/have been healthy pregnancies. I am burdened today for women who have faced tragedy within pregnancy. Such an event requires super-human strength to deal.
I have no rage, anger or hatred towards any woman who has made a decision to terminate a pregnancy. I believe that angry protests with disturbing imagery is not the way to tackle this problem in society. It just fuels the widely though public opinion that Christians are heartless and crazy. I instead mourn the loss of the innocent and pray whole heartedly that women who feel like they have no other option, would find another option and we will invest our money and resources into areas that help provide those alternate solutions (the local women's pregnancy center, adoption organizations, etc).
Those who have followed my political writings are aware that I wasn't the biggest George W. Bush fan in the world, but I have to publicly commend him on his stance and pro-activeness on the position of abortion. He made great strides in the ending of late term abortion, a ruthless practice and although I believe that politics is not souly in place to overturn Roe Vs. Wade, I hope someday it's illegal to kill unborn children in this country, the same as it is illegal to kill anyone else. So that's my pro-life stance when it comes to abortion.
I don't believe a person can rightfully call themselves 'pro-life' if they are for the death penalty. People who are against abortion but for the death penalty can rightfully call themselves 'anti-abortionists' but not 'pro-life'. Life is life. The life of the unborn and innocent and the life of the sinful man or woman. By saying we can decide which citizens are fit to live and die is far too much power for any judge or jury to have. This is an out-dated and barbaric establishment that needs to be thrown out. From a spiritual perspective, it negates a lot of what Jesus died for. Jesus came and lived a sinless life, taking on the sins of the world (the murderer, rapist, gossiper, adulterer etc.) and dying for them so that we wouldn't have to...so that in Him, we could be dramatically changed and healed of our transgressions, no matter how miniscule or gargantuan. It's amazing to me that an American court room would have put Saul to death before he had the opportunity to become Paul. Trust me, I don't say this lightly. If anyone sexually assaulted, purposefully injured or took the lives of my children, I would need God's strength and probably the restraint of several burly men to keep me from taking that person out with my bare hands. As humans, we are entitled to anger, redemption and justice. As Christians, we are called to be immeasurably more and to recognize what God can do to miraculously transform a monster into a disciple. We are called to lay down our right for revenge. God is the one who chooses who lives and who dies. Christians often take a stance on this when it comes to abortion and euthanasia, but not the death penalty. It's always blown me away that we're so passionate about saving one life but so eager to fry another. God can make a miracle of both the unwanted, inconvenient and undeserving.
Outside of the whole Jesus thing :), capital punishment has taken the lives of innocent people, killing them for crimes they did not commit. In Florida alone, a non-profit organization called the Innocence Project has proven the innocence of 7 people who were either sentenced to life in prison or the death penalty. I had the opportunity to meet one of these men who was awarded millions of dollars in 'we're sorry we took 25 years away from your life and almost killed you' money...no amount of money can buy back what he's lost in both time and emotional/ mental strain. Thank God he wasn't killed before his innocence was proven. Many have not been as lucky. Also, it costs 70% more for a person to be on death row than to complete a life sentence in a maximum security facility. Trends in death penalty cases also prove it to be racist, sexist and biased. Check out the stats and facts at Amnesty International's Web Page.
Jay and I often watch 'Lock Up'. On this show, they highlight different offenders and tell the back story of their lives. The majority have had hellish upbringings, abusive homes and overwhelming neglect. I don't condone law breaking or violent acts but after hearing where a lot of these people have come from and lived through, I wonder if I wouldn't be the same way had I not grown up in a loving, protective family. Being 'pro-life' means seeing the whole person and recognizing the sanctity of what God has made, not seeing the crime alone and declaring that person hopeless and worthless. Amazing Grace is for them too.
So I guess, to make a long story even longer, I am pro-life...meaning I believe in the sanctity of human life. I believe that God is bigger than anything we have done, could do or will do and that through Him we can surrender 'our rights' and do 'the right thing.' I recognize that it's easy for me to sit here and write about this topic and sound self-righteous. I am not. Trust me. I have an overwhelming amount of empathy for women who find themselves with an unwanted pregnancy...and I could never look a woman in the face, whose husband has been murdered by a ruthless, unapologetic killer and condescendingly say, "You just need to love the criminal the way that Christ loves the church." I know that this is a near impossible feat, that outside of Christ it doesn't make sense and that if it were me, I would probably struggle my entire life to get through the hate but I know what I believe God has called us to do, as men and women after His own heart. His greatest commandment was not for us to end abortion or maintain the man-made rituals of the church or take a pro-active stance against homosexuality...it is to love. Love. With no limits and no restrictions. It's easy to love the cute, kind and deserving. He has called us to love every one.
I hope and pray that this resonated with somebody who is needing and ready to lay down their right of being exhaustingly angry, cripplingly self-centered and painfully confused and take on new found eyes and thankfulness for the sanctity of human life, without harsh judgement towards those who may see things a different way.
If you made it to the end of this, thanks for reading.
"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:13-14.
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