I will not say that Shelly lost her fight with cancer because I don't believe that's the case. She fought with a fervor and strength that I didn't know any human being could possess. Cancer didn't win and it didn't beat her. It simply overwhelmed her physical body. She is now far from the pain that may have claimed her body but didn't sabotage her soul. Her energy, the smile and laughter and kindness that made up the woman that she was, lives on eternally. Take that, Cancer.
I believe that life doesn't necessarily justify living...Heaven justifies living...and I look forward to seeing Shelly there. Anyone who could have handled their final years, months and days with the grace, hope, love and dignity that she did, obviously had strength that only God Himself can provide. And while she was here, she brought Heavenly things to earth by rising above personal circumstances and selflessly pouring into those around her.
You are an inspiration and you will be missed, everyday.
Please pray for Shelly's husband (my cousin, Jonathan) and six year old daughter whose lives are better for having known her but forever changed for having lost her. Peace be with them.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Happy Thanksgiving
This year, Jay and I will be cooking and hosting our own Thanksgiving feast. For the past several years we have gone to other people's homes/churches to take part in their festivities but this year we will be conjuring up the holiday goodies all by ourselves. I bought everything I need tonight...but I forgot the turkey :) No worries, I went back out and seized the perfect bird. Pregnancy brain is ridiculous these days.
Our good friends from Newfoundland (who live in Charlotte, NC) will be joining us for several days of awesomeness. We're super excited about it. Even if we mess up the turkey and end up eating Chinese on Thursday, we'll give thanks with loved ones and have a blessed holiday. You be sure to do the same!
Happy Thanksgiving!
Our good friends from Newfoundland (who live in Charlotte, NC) will be joining us for several days of awesomeness. We're super excited about it. Even if we mess up the turkey and end up eating Chinese on Thursday, we'll give thanks with loved ones and have a blessed holiday. You be sure to do the same!
Happy Thanksgiving!
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Untitled
I've started and deleted about 5 different blog posts today...I can't seem to articulate what it is I want to say, even though I feel the itch to write.
A lot has been happening lately. Being alone for an entire week gave Jay and I some much needed time to talk, dream, pray and figure out what it is that we want and what we believe God wants for us.
Here's what I'm learning in recent months/weeks/days/hours/minutes:
- God is bigger than my understanding and there are some things I will never know about Him...and that's OK. To act or walk about as if I have Him all figured out is to arrogantly miss out on the beauty of Him. A god that can be dissected and figured out is no god at all.
- I believe that there are moments when God calls us to do specific things and moments when He has equipped us to make choices on our own. Love your neighbour? Specific call from God. Move to another state? May or may not be a specific call. It may not matter as long as you plan on being His hands and feet once you get there.
- I trust Him and that is a choice. There have been a lot of things happening in my life this week that have required me to CHOSE to stop being afraid, nervous and cynical and to trust that He is good regardless. Some days I make that choice once and it sticks...other days I make that choice 100 times...but I will keep choosing it.
- I married a miracle. Seriously. My husband is living proof that God can infiltrate a human heart and radically change a man. I am so grateful that my children have him as a father. They will be better people for it. I can honestly say that I would follow that man anywhere and everywhere he leads me because I believe he is a Godly man. I trust God therefore I trust his son, Jay. It's a great chain reaction.
- Things are not as black and white as we have made them...I believe that we (you and I) can't determine who will be in Heaven based on whether or not they fit in the Christian mold that the Western church has created for the typical 'Christian' to look like. I believe that we spend too much time focusing and arguing about theology. A good friend of mine has recently challenged me to simply love God and love people and not to worry about all the other stuff. I think my friend might be onto something...
- I believe that God is good regardless of the fact that my cousin may die this week...I hate what her family is going through and that her 6 year old daughter will grow up without a mother...there is no beauty in this situation and it's hard to fathom any good coming from it...but perhaps because of this, that 6 year old will grow up with a passionate desire to find a cure for cancer or work with cancer patients and she will change the lives of hundreds, maybe thousands of people...I don't know...all I know is that God's heart is breaking right along with her husband's, parent's and loved one's.
- My trials are small in comparison to others. I grew up with a boy who is now in jail. He's a good man and I can't begin to understand how he must feel right now. All I know is that I would lose a house any day of the week over losing my marriage, my freedom, my children, my health....stuff is stuff...if you can put a price tag on it, it's not worth stressing about.
A lot has been happening lately. Being alone for an entire week gave Jay and I some much needed time to talk, dream, pray and figure out what it is that we want and what we believe God wants for us.
Here's what I'm learning in recent months/weeks/days/hours/minutes:
- God is bigger than my understanding and there are some things I will never know about Him...and that's OK. To act or walk about as if I have Him all figured out is to arrogantly miss out on the beauty of Him. A god that can be dissected and figured out is no god at all.
- I believe that there are moments when God calls us to do specific things and moments when He has equipped us to make choices on our own. Love your neighbour? Specific call from God. Move to another state? May or may not be a specific call. It may not matter as long as you plan on being His hands and feet once you get there.
- I trust Him and that is a choice. There have been a lot of things happening in my life this week that have required me to CHOSE to stop being afraid, nervous and cynical and to trust that He is good regardless. Some days I make that choice once and it sticks...other days I make that choice 100 times...but I will keep choosing it.
- I married a miracle. Seriously. My husband is living proof that God can infiltrate a human heart and radically change a man. I am so grateful that my children have him as a father. They will be better people for it. I can honestly say that I would follow that man anywhere and everywhere he leads me because I believe he is a Godly man. I trust God therefore I trust his son, Jay. It's a great chain reaction.
- Things are not as black and white as we have made them...I believe that we (you and I) can't determine who will be in Heaven based on whether or not they fit in the Christian mold that the Western church has created for the typical 'Christian' to look like. I believe that we spend too much time focusing and arguing about theology. A good friend of mine has recently challenged me to simply love God and love people and not to worry about all the other stuff. I think my friend might be onto something...
- I believe that God is good regardless of the fact that my cousin may die this week...I hate what her family is going through and that her 6 year old daughter will grow up without a mother...there is no beauty in this situation and it's hard to fathom any good coming from it...but perhaps because of this, that 6 year old will grow up with a passionate desire to find a cure for cancer or work with cancer patients and she will change the lives of hundreds, maybe thousands of people...I don't know...all I know is that God's heart is breaking right along with her husband's, parent's and loved one's.
- My trials are small in comparison to others. I grew up with a boy who is now in jail. He's a good man and I can't begin to understand how he must feel right now. All I know is that I would lose a house any day of the week over losing my marriage, my freedom, my children, my health....stuff is stuff...if you can put a price tag on it, it's not worth stressing about.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
The Perfect Vacation
Jay and I just got back from the most amazing vacation ever. It's the first time since 2004 that we've vacationed alone...generally, we spend our vacation time to visit friends and family and although those trips are more than enjoyable, they are always exhausting.
This vacation was different. We left last Sunday and returned today, spending an entire week alone with one another, relaxing, sight seeing, star gazing and wave watching as we cruised along the southern Atlantic into the Bahamas.
Our room was lovely, the service was fantastic, the food was plentiful, the weather was lovely, there was plenty to do, I won a facial our very first day on board, Jay won two paintings from the art gallery by guessing the price of an expensive piece of artwork and coming closer than anyone on board the ship. I participated in an on board talent show and received a trophy shaped like a cruise ship and a bottle of french champagne...we soaked up some sun (but not too much...I remain quite pale from fear of burning and being uncomfortable), we took in the most gorgeous scenery...everything was perfect in every way...
But the greatest part of this experience was not the things we won, the places we visited, the people we met or even the luxurious scenery. It was getting to spend a full, uninterrupted week with my favourite human...and I appreciate/love/respect him more now than I ever have before.
Thanks to everyone who helped make this excursion possible. It was the most perfect week imaginable.
We are now planning a European Cruise for summer, 2014! :)
Saturday, November 07, 2009
The Power of Example
I believe that Jay and I have an exceptional marriage. We have been married for a little over 6 years and although we have changed slightly as individuals, we have grown closer as a couple. People change...the key is to make choices to change towards one another instead of apart.
I can honestly say that life with him gets better and better and better.
We aren't perfect. We pick at each other from time to time. We drop the ball with our attitudes when we're tired...after all, you tend to take your frustrations out on the people you love the most...but we have never purposefully hurt one another, we have never let the threat of divorce EVER come across either of our lips, we laugh daily, we not only love each other...we really, really like each other.
There is no one in this world I would rather spend time with than Jay. He fascinates me...he still gives me butterflies in my tummy. A few weeks ago I was singing in the worship team and I looked down and saw him in the congregation and I got all nervous and giddy, like I was seeing him for the first time. He is my favourite human.
Regardless of what challenges we face, we have two things that only grow stronger with time: Love and Respect.
I believe a big reason why my marriage is healthy and strong is because I got to watch my parents do marriage right. My mother was/is an exceptional wife....my father was/is an exceptional husband...they taught me what love and respect looks like. There was never a time when I covered my ears to shield the sound of my parents fighting...there was never a moment where I questioned whether or not they'd stay together....I never had to wonder whether or not they were happy together...they were ONE... I never viewed them as single units. They were so completely united on everything which at the time I thought was normal but now I realize takes work, compromise, mutual submission and a depth of respect. They never made petty digs at one another...my father never treated my mother like her position wasn't important because she stayed at home with her kids and my mother never made my father feel inferior when there wasn't enough money to pay the bills...they had their priorities straight... God came before everything...and they knew that each other worked really hard and did the best with what they had.
I say all of this because tomorrow my parents will be celebrating 41 years of marriage and I not only need to congratulate them for that...I need to thank them.
I wouldn't know how to do this life with Jay properly is it wasn't for your powerful and beautiful example of marriage...a true testament of how Christ must feel about His church.
The greatest gift that any parent can give their child is a healthy marriage and because you gave that gift to me, I can give it to my children...and a beautiful, powerful and holy cycle of God-centered marriage will continue and grow stronger from generation to generation because of your example.
I love you both very much. Happy Anniversary.
I can honestly say that life with him gets better and better and better.
We aren't perfect. We pick at each other from time to time. We drop the ball with our attitudes when we're tired...after all, you tend to take your frustrations out on the people you love the most...but we have never purposefully hurt one another, we have never let the threat of divorce EVER come across either of our lips, we laugh daily, we not only love each other...we really, really like each other.
There is no one in this world I would rather spend time with than Jay. He fascinates me...he still gives me butterflies in my tummy. A few weeks ago I was singing in the worship team and I looked down and saw him in the congregation and I got all nervous and giddy, like I was seeing him for the first time. He is my favourite human.
Regardless of what challenges we face, we have two things that only grow stronger with time: Love and Respect.
I believe a big reason why my marriage is healthy and strong is because I got to watch my parents do marriage right. My mother was/is an exceptional wife....my father was/is an exceptional husband...they taught me what love and respect looks like. There was never a time when I covered my ears to shield the sound of my parents fighting...there was never a moment where I questioned whether or not they'd stay together....I never had to wonder whether or not they were happy together...they were ONE... I never viewed them as single units. They were so completely united on everything which at the time I thought was normal but now I realize takes work, compromise, mutual submission and a depth of respect. They never made petty digs at one another...my father never treated my mother like her position wasn't important because she stayed at home with her kids and my mother never made my father feel inferior when there wasn't enough money to pay the bills...they had their priorities straight... God came before everything...and they knew that each other worked really hard and did the best with what they had.
I say all of this because tomorrow my parents will be celebrating 41 years of marriage and I not only need to congratulate them for that...I need to thank them.
I wouldn't know how to do this life with Jay properly is it wasn't for your powerful and beautiful example of marriage...a true testament of how Christ must feel about His church.
The greatest gift that any parent can give their child is a healthy marriage and because you gave that gift to me, I can give it to my children...and a beautiful, powerful and holy cycle of God-centered marriage will continue and grow stronger from generation to generation because of your example.
I love you both very much. Happy Anniversary.
Thursday, November 05, 2009
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
Long Overdue
In 5 days, Jay and I will be going on vacation. We won't be visiting anyone. We won't have any obligations. We won't have a child to tend to (this part makes me a little nervous and sad, but I know it's important to take a break from the little guy). It'll just be us and the open seas...and I can't wait.
We've never done anything like this. When we got married, the ceremony was on a Friday night and we were back to work on Monday morning. The last time Jay and I went on a vacation together, that didn't include travelling to one of our home towns, was when we spent 4 days in Wilmington, NC in March, 2004.
Jay said last night, "I don't have many regrets about our marriage but not taking enough breaks together is definitely something I regret."
But thanks to a generous and early Christmas gift from my parents, we'll be going on a Carnival Cruise to the Bahamas. We leave Sunday for Jacksonville, board the ship on Monday and sail the seas until Saturday morning. Every day we get more and more excited...I have not gone to any public places this week without hand santizer...yesterday, I applied purel to mine and Caden's hands about 13 times each...I refuse to get sick before this trip!
I am aware that Caden will be a tad bit angry when we return. Anytime I've ever left him, he makes me pay for it when I come back...but I've learned that's how he shows me how much he missed me...by torturing me for leaving him :)
But it's so important for Jay and I to take this time, just for us. These days, we don't get a lot of time alone and those quiet moments together are only going to become fewer and farther between once a new baby is thrown into the picture so although this vacation is long overdue, it's also right on time.
I have to give a special thanks to:
My parents for making this possible...I am truly blessed to have you as my parents....and not just because of the tangible things you do for me...the intangible is priceless.
Jay's parents, for fronting us some Christmas love early so we can have a stress-free time.
Amber, for holding down the fort (taking care of Caden, cleaning, cooking, animal maintaining) while we're gone. Knowing Caden is with you makes it less stressful to leave him. He is really looking forward to his special 'Ms. Ambo' time.
Dana, for taking care of Caden for a few days while we're gone. When I asked you to help, you didn't even hesitate.
Sonnie from Little Lambs, who is letting Caden go to school for a day while we're gone.
The dude who bought Jacksonville Jaguars tickets from us...Jay won tickets to a game and sold them on craigslist for lots o' cash. HUGE blessing...we'll be going on a stress-free vacation.
Last but certainly not least, God - for giving me the most amazing husband a woman could ever ask for.
Bring on vacation!!!
We've never done anything like this. When we got married, the ceremony was on a Friday night and we were back to work on Monday morning. The last time Jay and I went on a vacation together, that didn't include travelling to one of our home towns, was when we spent 4 days in Wilmington, NC in March, 2004.
Jay said last night, "I don't have many regrets about our marriage but not taking enough breaks together is definitely something I regret."
But thanks to a generous and early Christmas gift from my parents, we'll be going on a Carnival Cruise to the Bahamas. We leave Sunday for Jacksonville, board the ship on Monday and sail the seas until Saturday morning. Every day we get more and more excited...I have not gone to any public places this week without hand santizer...yesterday, I applied purel to mine and Caden's hands about 13 times each...I refuse to get sick before this trip!
I am aware that Caden will be a tad bit angry when we return. Anytime I've ever left him, he makes me pay for it when I come back...but I've learned that's how he shows me how much he missed me...by torturing me for leaving him :)
But it's so important for Jay and I to take this time, just for us. These days, we don't get a lot of time alone and those quiet moments together are only going to become fewer and farther between once a new baby is thrown into the picture so although this vacation is long overdue, it's also right on time.
I have to give a special thanks to:
My parents for making this possible...I am truly blessed to have you as my parents....and not just because of the tangible things you do for me...the intangible is priceless.
Jay's parents, for fronting us some Christmas love early so we can have a stress-free time.
Amber, for holding down the fort (taking care of Caden, cleaning, cooking, animal maintaining) while we're gone. Knowing Caden is with you makes it less stressful to leave him. He is really looking forward to his special 'Ms. Ambo' time.
Dana, for taking care of Caden for a few days while we're gone. When I asked you to help, you didn't even hesitate.
Sonnie from Little Lambs, who is letting Caden go to school for a day while we're gone.
The dude who bought Jacksonville Jaguars tickets from us...Jay won tickets to a game and sold them on craigslist for lots o' cash. HUGE blessing...we'll be going on a stress-free vacation.
Last but certainly not least, God - for giving me the most amazing husband a woman could ever ask for.
Bring on vacation!!!
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